The positive mental health thread - part 4

[Spudlet]

Keeping it positive, keeping our sanity, people 👍

I was just reading this very helpful article about grief and how we are all feeling a kind of collective grief and that it is normal. It includes some tips to help with the sadness and anxiety. I’ve linked below...

hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

@GypsyWanderer that’s a good article thank you

We’ve had quite a chilled out day, didn’t worry too much about school stuff and I’m drinking gin now so it’s all good

The most recent Government update says antigen testing will begin for front-line workers immediately! How incredible is that!! Not long before it rolls out further, hopefully. Won't post a link because the rest is predictably dreary but good news is good news!

@Bunnyflop

That sounds amazing! I love duck and blackbean!

Last night we had a hot chicken salad with honey mustard dressing and tonight we are having some beef tacos. Have stuff in for a big fry up tomorrow too... it's always been about food for me and now even more so (which I didn't think possible!)

What's on your menu??

Great because I have two families of doctors with young children in my street who all think they've had it but won't know until they've been tested!

We’re having homemade takeaway style chicken korma tonight. The paste was already in the freezer, so it’s a 5 min job!

I’ve just lost my appetite a bit....

Tonight we're having chicken Thai Green Curry. It's a pack from Morrisons and it's really good (I've tried them all !) but I do add extra green thai paste, fresh root ginger, fish sauce.

We love Thai, have it every Friday and never get bored of it!

And we're trying to keep to some sort of routine because I'm losing track of what day it is.

I ordered an online food shop for lastnight about 2 weeks ago. I forgot what was on it, and couldn't log back on but figured I'd have been reasonably sensible.

I'd bought a huge batch of butter, and flour and sugar, eggs and rhubarb. So I made cake. And biscuits. And tonight we have pizza from the delivery and I am so grateful for it all.

I've been on a gorgeous walk round the lanes and fields tonight. Skylarks, loads of birds singing, hedges in blossom. Was truly beautiful.

I'm actually enjoying lockdown too, in a weird way.

It's a protective little bubble. We haven't needed to go out since Monday and every day in without being poorly is a day closer to the end and perhaps not even catching (or knowingly catching) the virus.

We've done a little bit of work with the kids but only an hour a day in a few bursts. We have done lots of colouring, digging in the garden, jumping on the trampoline and just playing together. I didn't think I could do it, but it's been alright! I've had a loose timetable but mostly of ideas like "colouring in the morning and get the sand out after lunch" and not "3pm maths, 4pm science". I've found just having a few key activities is enough and the kids play or watch TV around these.

DH needs to do the food shop tomorrow and I have to go to work (I'm a key worker for nursery/school kids). I'm not looking forward to it as I could pick it up when I'm there and I won't feel as 'protected' once I've been out there all day. But needs must. And I did it all last week and so far been fine. Have to keep reminding myself of that.

I also am now starting to wonder if I already had it. About two weeks ago I had a headache for a few days. It wasn't so bad that I took painkillers but it was constant. I put it down to stress. But then the headache subsided and I had a really really sore neck for two days and felt a bit weird and short of breath, especially in the evenings, for about 4/5 days.

Nobody else in the family suffered at all but there have been cases (confirmed and suspected) at work so I've almost certainly had some exposure.

Guess I'll never know!

We just a Malaysian coconut curry (no credit here, it was a Sharwoods sachet!). Very nice, especially with a lager. We have some Adnams squirrelled away too so we may have a pint once DS is safely in bed.

We don’t have to venture out again until Wednesday at least so not feeling too bad here at the moment. DH is having work cancelled, but fortunately there’s still enough going ahead to tide the business over for a while yet, and their overheads are relatively low so we feel pretty fortunate at the moment.

Missing my mum and family, but trying to focus on the big party we can have when eventually, this is done. And in the meantime, just putting one foot in front of the other until the job’s done.

Oh and also, DS is getting the hang of kisses! He’s always just given you his head to kiss but has never returned fire - so I have been explaining how to do it and I’d say he’s cracked it. It’s the best ❤️

@GypsyWanderer, great article. I have been thinking too it is like grief, and that's why I have felt so tired lately (although that's partly because I have been waking so early).

@thereplycamefromanchorage the grief idea really resonated with me. I lost my dad the year before last and as soon as this all happened it was like I started grieving for him all over again which felt weird to me as i had been feeling fine. But the old feelings came up and it triggered a huge depression in me. I now see that as linked with the fear and shock of this pandemic. It really helps to put a name to things I find, it helps me understand my feelings from a different perspective which in turns helps me either to find solutions to it or accept it and ride it out.

I agree about grief. Good article-funnily enough at work we were discussing the “five stages” And we are all at different stages. I was in denial at one point. I’m now at acceptance having cried about it last weekend. I’m now making the best of it

That article is spot on. I saw it on Facebook earlier in the week. I seem to have passed to acceptance pretty quickly. We are where we are, rubbish though it is. I’m so much looking forward to seeing the kids again. And having my nails done.

It was DDs birthday today and we’ve had a lovely day :) made and decorated chocolate cupcakes, played on her new scooter (not quite got the hang of it yet) and FaceTimed lots of family and friends. I’m having a group natter and drink with some friends via video chat later too.

Also got some good news from uni, it looks like there might be a way ahead for my research project! Looked for a little bit like it might have to be abandoned which would have been a shame as I’ve put so much work in

That's good news about your research project.

I have stew for supper. It's cold out here. Also some nice blood oranges. I've had a productive day with my work and I keep thinking how great it is that the tests are going to get going to see who has had this virus. I also skyped with 3 different groups of friends. With one group in particular i called them last week and everyone was ashen faced and subdued. Today we were all giggling and it felt so normal for a moment. This would all be 10x worse without technology.

Also, chocolate cupcakes! Happy birthday to your dd

Thank you for that, GypsyWanderer. It makes perfect sense. When I realised how bad this was getting and that we were heading towards lockdown, I said to a friend that the last time I had this feeling of soul destroying dread, was when my dear husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I cleaned out the dog room (dog sitter) and was quite emotional, but my wee girl suggested filling it with cuddly toys. 😁 That did make me chuckle and at least I won’t have to clean up after them and I no longer trip over dog beds around the rest of the house. 🤣 I’m going to concentrate on making it look great for when life returns to normal.

@riotlady
Glad to hear about your research project
My m.res is suspended in lingo....
But I'm part time so basically going to end up switching to full time for next year
It's a mess really
But I'm happy kids are ok
I didn't think I could do 2yo and 4yo inside all week but we have kind of managed
It was nice to be with them and not worry about work or deadlines
It's only week 1 though... let's see how it goes

I found some Christmas cocktail sausages in the freezer last night, defrosted then and added loads of rice, onions, vegetables and stock for a sort of jambalaya thing and a side salad!

Today my positives have been a successful Zoom virtual trip to the pub with a couple of friends which worked really well.

But best of all I managed to video chat my elderly parents on WhatsApp. I surprised them and it was really nice to see them in their cosy home isolating. And dd even wondered in to chat to them! Really pleased my mum got into the internet a couple of years ago!

Thanks all for plumber advice.

We had veg curry/dal/rice/homemade naans for dinner. Really pleased with naan breads - Anjum Anand recipe I haven’t tried before.

I’m kind of enjoying lockdown too - the children have really played with each other in a way they haven’t in ages, and I like the feeling of all being in together. I like being busy and coming up with fun things to do too.

I’ve also felt this huge sense of relief at not having to do small every day interactions - I’ve always known those things don’t come naturally for me, but I thought I was fine with school-gate small talk and being cordial with cashiers etc. nowadays. The relief of not having to chat to delivery people/smile at school mums I don’t know very well/make random conversations throughout the day has really surprised me and made me realise how much effort these things still take me. Feel a bit sad about that tbh, but it’s helping me think about my future and what might be more right for me (been trying to get back into work for the past year after being sahm for a few years)

@GypsyWanderer, yes it has taken me back to the feelings and emotions I had when my dad died a few years ago, but I hadn't really connected that until I read that article. I totally agree, it helps to put a name to these feelings, and not pretend it's all normal. In fact it makes me think that with kids, it's probably good not to pretend that everything is normal, and admit it's hard and unsettling, just like grief.

On the positive side ( I am remembering it's a positive mental health thread!), like others have commented, I am really noticing nature this year. Every walk we go on, I really notice the spring flowers and birds with an intensity I haven't had previously.

@DogsAreTheShizz @M0reGinPlease tonight I had southern fried chicken with frites and a rather odd combo of corn on the cob with grated cheese. I fuckin love cheese! What did you have gin?

Quite a productive day here, I repainted the living room and bedroom with ds’ help, got some housework done and went for a walk for a bit on my own. Also did some school work. And I did half an hour with my meditation app which made such a huge difference, I can’t recommend it enough!

Ps thanks to however recommended curable for my fibromyalgia, I’ve started it.

I made a kind of cassoulet / stew thing with chicken thighs and chorizo. Some baby roast pots.

With you on the cheese!! I've started putting corn on the cob in a dry pan to char it a bit before we eat it and it's bloody lovely.

I bought some southern fried chicken too as couldn't get burgers. We shall wee what I do with that tomorrow 😂

Fingers crossed for gardening weather this weekend.