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Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

765 replies

Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 20:45

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

OP posts:

AnneJeanne · 17/03/2020 21:44

Is it a certain generation that can’t sit still? I ask because I know several people 70 plus who refuse to stay home.


PleaseStopCrying · 17/03/2020 21:44

but see their remaining years as a ‘quality not quantity’ concept. They are not children and we shouldn’t treat them as such.

Whilst true that many would prefer quality over quantity those arguing this point are quite spectacularly missing the point that whilst they are off out enjoying their quality lives they are putting others at risk who may then die and all because they selfishly wanted a nice wander around the shops or a coffee in town. Hmm


Frownette · 17/03/2020 21:45

Boris Johnson's father. Not to be deterred from the pub.


Knotaknitter · 17/03/2020 21:45

I feel so much better now I know that it's not just my mother being a raging idiot. I am hoping that she will get a letter through the door from Boris asking her to take one for the team, save the NHS and stay home and do the gardening. She might take more notice of him than of me because I'm clearly overreacting to "something that's going round".


AuldAlliance · 17/03/2020 21:45

If your parents choose to endanger other people's lives, you are perfectly entitled not to accept it.


Greenpop21 · 17/03/2020 21:46

If they don’t stay home why should we?


Throughabushbackwards · 17/03/2020 21:46

FaceTime convo with my parents in Australia this morning -

Me: what did you do yesterday mum?
DM: went to Sydney for a meeting (via train and bus)
Me: oh?!
DM: it was really odd, the whole city was practically deserted!

Later in the same conversation...
DF: we'll be ok here, don't worry about us! The virus won't come all the way down here (rural town)
Me: unless someone, say, YOUR OWN WIFE, travels to a major city during a day of exponential rises in cases of outbreak and BRINGS IT BACK WITH HER!
DF: [silence]


Leflic · 17/03/2020 21:46

Mine (70’s) don’t want to get dementia and go on for years or get a vile cancer. So many friends died last year.
Frankly a two week flu/pneumonia is fine and the way they expect it to end.
Plus they’ve done AIDs Swine flu, Ebola and normal flu so really just accept it’s life .


Daffodil1967 · 17/03/2020 21:48

Most of the ‘oldies’ I know have now gone into hibernation. If possible in the coming weeks I will drive up and wave through their windows. If I see anything that causes alarm I will go into their houses and assist.
One lady I know refuses to though and I guess I won’t be seeing her for a cup of tea as I don’t to risk passing anything on.


cat0281 · 17/03/2020 21:48

Many are sacrificing a lot to protect the older in our society. It's a bit of a slap in the face if they act as though it's all an overreaction and make no effort to protect themselves.


Nearlyalmost50 · 17/03/2020 21:49

You sometimes have to accept they know the risks but see their remaining years as a ‘quality not quantity’ concept I don't accept they know the risks at all, as it is hard to understand for all of us the enormity of the risk. The thing is- if they get sick with Covid-19, they won't just not bother the health-care services and people with a conscience won't leave them, so they are entering the system at the worst time and are making others potentially sick or bumped down the queue to treat them.

The poster who said that you've got a 1/4 chance of dying shocked their parent. It's very easy to say 'oh it's just flu/I've had my time/I'd rather live for now and not worry/if my numbers up' in a general way, but really not so much fun to face distress and death in an NHS without the resources to cope- there is someone on another thread whose FIL is dying of lung cancer and there are not enough resources on the respiratory ward and he is only allowed to see one person a day so is now not saying goodbye to all those who love him.

If they genuinely, knowing the true risks, want to take them, why not spend those final few months directly helping those with Covid-19 then as a hospital volunteer? My 72 year old mum could easily do that, but she's actually sensible and is self-isolating, which means not seeing her grandkids except for a wave when we drop stuff off, not going out for coffee, choir, holidays.

Yes, life is nicer if you go to the shops every day and have a coffee but so what? I don't believe many of these people are choosing quality over quantity at all, they will want both and be very very distressed when we see what has happened in Italy happening here. People don't like change and they do like pottering about doing what they please, but that just isn't going to be possible without affecting someone else, and no, we won't just be able to let them get on with that choice indefinitely if these measures don't work, more dramatic measures (like my MIL in Europe where it is illegal to go out unless to work or for food) will be taken.


Pilot12 · 17/03/2020 21:49

79 year old MIL thinks she's seeing the GC as normal this weekend. DH is WFH, I'm a SAHM who has taken the DC out of nursery and I don't want to go out, MIL doesn't understand why not!


MadameButterface · 17/03/2020 21:51

Oh my god i have found my people

I thought it was just my folks who are just like whatever about it. They’re not in their 70s quite yet but my mum has high blood pressure and my dad has smoked for over 50 years. I think they think it’s all hype and fake news and millennials winding each other up on social media.


monkeytennis97 · 17/03/2020 21:51

Was called a 'snowflake' (I'm gen X not millennial) today by my boomer parents when I asked them again to stay in as much as possible. "Oh it was full in M and S....." So frustrating!


itsgettingweird · 17/03/2020 21:52

Yep my parents.

  1. Nearly 70 (in weeks). Having chemo.

2. Has cancer due to start chemo again. Finished chemo December. That was 3 round in 3 years.

I actually just think they have accepted their fate 🤷‍♀️

Growingboys · 17/03/2020 21:52

LOL yep she's 82 and took herself to the hairdresser today. And says her cleaner's fine to come as she's going to wash her hands.

She's lived through worse, so fair enough I suppose. Something's got to get her sooner or later.


catwithflowers · 17/03/2020 21:52

Not my dad. He Is almost 80, has COPD, heart and kidney issues and is self-isolating for the foreseeable future. He has loads of stuff in the cupboards and freezer and is being very sensible. He is determined to survive this 😶


MeOldBamboo · 17/03/2020 21:53

I’ve just had to have stern words with mine about not doing my childcare. They are keen to see the kids obviously but I’ve told them not to come over as we will manage and that we will FaceTime them!


thereisfreedomwithin · 17/03/2020 21:53

“ignored a heart attack for so long that it just stopped of it’s own accord not more a year ago.”



AuldAlliance · 17/03/2020 21:54

Frankly a two week flu/pneumonia is fine and the way they expect it to end.
Plus they’ve done AIDs Swine flu, Ebola and normal flu so really just accept it’s life.

But did they shag around during the AIDS epidemic without protection, or stick infected needles in random people in the street?

Seriously, even if they think dying of organ failure, septic shock or acute respiratory distress on a maksehift bed in a hospital corrider is "fine", they need to realise how many other people's lives they could affect who might not be quite so blasé.


OntheWaves40 · 17/03/2020 21:54

Nope mine are the opposite. I usually see them once or twice a week as we live in same village and they have rang to say don’t come round and they’ll see us when this blows over. So 18 months then?


I8toys · 17/03/2020 21:55

Yep FIL 78 heart valve replacement twice swanning around the local market. It's his decision.


Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 21:56

I am quite alarmed at the number of parents not following the guidelines. The lockdown cannot come soon enough. Maybe we should make them watch some of the heartbreaking videos of people dying in Italy and China to get the message across.

I am shit scared of this. I can't see how anyone could think this is not a time for drastic measures.

The NHS will be 8 times over capacity to treat people if it carries on unchecked. The death rate in Italy if roughly 6%. If the same numbers were applied here aprox 2 and a half million will die, probably more as our healthcare system is not as good as Italy. We will need plague pits to deal with all the bodies.

OP posts:

AutumnCrow · 17/03/2020 21:56

I'm 'only' in my late 50s and I doubt there will be a ventilator with my name on it.

I have an awful feeling that some of the 70+ parents being described on this thread think that the NHS they grew up with will prioritise them when it all goes tits up.


avocadoze · 17/03/2020 21:57

No, my dm is being sensible, thank God. It’ll be grim being socially isolated for 12 weeks but I will FaceTime every day without fail and get all the grandchildren to talk to her, and drop groceries outside the door. She is educated and can see what is happening in mainland Europe. A 45-yo in the UK died today: this isn’t a virus that just affects “other people”.

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