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Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

765 replies

Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 20:45

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

OP posts:

TheFormidableMrsC · 17/03/2020 22:17

My stepmum (only 9 years older than me), took my climbing the walls Dad on a trip today to a forest so they could have a walk. Hes 81, has a serious heart condition plus Alzheimers. Stepmum is pulling her sodding hair out and I can't help with this. Good luck with keeping the "elderly but living life" under control Hmm. I am annoyed, we're doing all the isolation we can, I wish people would do the same!


Nearlyalmost50 · 17/03/2020 22:18

Reading this thread makes me realise why other countries have gone straight for the criminalising option- so in Italy you can't go out unless you have a reason (like work, shops) and proof you went, in my MIL's country, it is illegal to be outside for no reason. I don't want that level of repression, because it was hoped we would be able to make socially sensible decisions, but it's obvious that that's not the case.

It's not about individual decisions or lifestyles, it's about the whole country not being able to cope with a huge onslaught of disease and death all at once. What don't they get? And what's to admire that they can't tell the difference between the Blitz and putting their own friends and family at risk through asymptomatic transmission?


BiarritzCrackers · 17/03/2020 22:19

I think that some inter-generational hostility might get stirred up by this if people in their 70s and older don't start taking this seriously. Some people of working age will think along the lines of, "why are we losing our jobs and social lives, to protect a group of people who aren't doing their bit to protect themselves?" I don't think we'll get the level of public buy-in needed to contain this thing.


Nearlyalmost50 · 17/03/2020 22:20

I had to say to my mum: do you really want to die alone without seeing any friends and family, by your lungs filling with fluid, ie like drowning, without pain relief as there are no nurses to help, all because you fancied having a cheese toastie in the Waitrose cafe...

This is quite funny. They do do nice cheese toasties, though...


Leflic · 17/03/2020 22:22

AuldAlliance but no one had a clue about shagging and needles at the start of AIDS. Hence the Princesses Diana touching people bring a big deal. It was all over hyped drama until actually the penny dropped you had to share fluids.

So our parents hear - “wash it off”, only spread by close contact by scientist and think flu. Their generation sneeze into tissues and understand the chances of catching it are small compared to the other ones they’ve seen society live through.

And..did you listen to them growing up? Only half the time I bet cos they didn’t understand.


Canklesforankles · 17/03/2020 22:24

People saying “They know the risks..”

No they don’t. None of us do. How could we having never experienced this.


QuacksInTheDark · 17/03/2020 22:24

My 85 yo Gran has COPD. Refuses to stay home. Petrified that it’s ‘when’ and not if she catches it now. She will not listen.


ChickLitLover · 17/03/2020 22:25

Let your parents make their own decisions they are grown ups!!

But many are behaving like children, not taking good advice on board because they want what they want.

I know loads of people that have parents like this at the moment. The thing is when they get sick they expect their adult kids to be visiting them and looking after them and having to risk catching it from them. And then take it home with them. Or they’ll get really sick and add to the NHS workload. Selfish.


Jellykat · 17/03/2020 22:26

I went to M&S this morning, i swear at least half were over 70..
and as a retail worker myself, i was gobsmacked to see no wiping down of contact points whatsoever.. the woman working behind the bakery counter was merrily packing rolls into bags with no gloves on, ffs!


rosiejaune · 17/03/2020 22:27

YABU for patronising your parents. They are capable of making their own decisions about protecting their health.

And even in China (with much worse air pollution and smoking rates than here), it's only 15% of 80+ year olds who die; that's 17 in 20 even of the oldest cohort who survive (more for 70-79 years).


MajesticWhine · 17/03/2020 22:29

Spoke to MIL earlier. 76 with a serious heart condition. She told me she's been to the shops today and she might self isolate from tomorrow. Hmm. She and FIL go shopping most days. Self isolation is going to be a big change for them (if they actually bother).


LuluJakey1 · 17/03/2020 22:30

PIL self-isolating because FIL has chronic condition (MS) although is well - and a cough and Grandma who lives with them is in her 90s. DH rang up this afternoon to be told by FIL that MIL had gone to play badminton with her friend in their church hall and Grandma had just been out for some milk to the local shop.


JaneCope · 17/03/2020 22:30

It's not Just about their health. You might also want to calculate what numbers those figures represent.


AuldAlliance · 17/03/2020 22:30

Thing is, now we do know the dangers and these people are still acting irresponsibly.
Maybe I didn't always listen to my parents, but I did realise, even then, that if a country spent millions on ads to encourage condom use, there was a good reason for it and it might be worth following their advice.
And even as a child, if I'd seen that countries nearby were in lockdown and voluntarily tanking their economies to save their citizens' lives, I'd probably have thought official guidelines were worth following.
These grownups clearly don't understand...


MaxNormal · 17/03/2020 22:30

83 year old: been to the newsagents this morning, going to the pub later. They're not locking me away. Nobody bothered like this during the war, we just got on with it.

She was eight when the war finished, I doubt she'd have been conscious of the worst of it.

That's the thing. The boomers in particular, what exactly have they lived through that Gen Xrs haven't?


OhTheRoses · 17/03/2020 22:31

2000/66000000 x 100
55000/66000000 x 100



LellyMcKelly · 17/03/2020 22:31

And this is EXACTLY why ‘herd immunity’ is great in theory but really, really stupid as government policy.


Overthegardenfence · 17/03/2020 22:31

Yep my mum went on the bus to yoga yesterday , 75 with asthma, dad 83 still popped out for his paper and then to b and q there off to the coast tomorrow for a weeks holiday they reckon it’s ‘essential travelling’when they get back apparently we should all meet up in a nice little cafe. I asked Dad if she taken hand sanitizer he said ‘she can wash her hands when she gets home’ They think It’s all ridiculous I’m so cross with them but they talk to me like I’m 12 when I explain the risks.


m0therofdragons · 17/03/2020 22:32

Fil has emphysema but work has told him he's an essential worker so must go in. His job could be done from home but they won't invest in laptops or give remote access so he has to commute on public transport for an hour to London Victoria. The senior staff couldn't care less and seem to think government advice doesn't include their staff. No idea re his rights but sounds like he has to go in. He can't afford to lose his job as it will massively affect his pension and he's 2 years away from claiming it (so long as he doesn't die!)


OhTheRoses · 17/03/2020 22:34

10 day war
Mumps & Measles
Swine Flu
Winter of 62
Cold War
All sorts of flu


mindproject · 17/03/2020 22:35

It's not selfish to go out. You are hysterical if you believe this. What kind of world do you want to live in? If you are old, you know your death is around the corner anyway, you might as well get out and about while you still can. Soon, we will be told its selfish to go to work.


SnoozyLou · 17/03/2020 22:36

I honestly think this will and as it has in other countries will you getting fined if you're out without good reason. I'd rather be able to bugger off and take a walk than be completely housebound for months on end.


jasjas1973 · 17/03/2020 22:36

People over 70 would have lived through the flu pandemics of 1957 and 1968, which killed millions worldwide and 1000s in the UK.

The country didn't grind to a halt, even though there was no vaccines and little effective treatment.

My mum was nurse back then, she drummed into me the importance of hand washing and keeping away from people who were ill and to stay in if poorly.


deydododatdodontdeydo · 17/03/2020 22:36

PILs (70s) lock down at the drop of a hat most years. They cancel visits to us if one of my family have a sniffle, live in the middle of nowhere and never meet anyone anyway. They've stock piled, bought an extra freezer for food.
MIL however, says she's "only just" 70, goes to the gym, shops, etc. as normal, as do many people she knows.
These people are the most at risk, yet taking the least precautions.
Having said that I watched a video of pissed up Brits in Benidorm out boozing today, so it's not all old people.


thenightsky · 17/03/2020 22:36

Yep. Mother in law. 80 years old and still going to her little part time job on the tills in the local Waitrose where hundreds of people with be in contact with her all shift. She's got mild parkinsons and type 2 diabetes.

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