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Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

765 replies

Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 20:45

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

OP posts:

Sparkletastic · 17/03/2020 21:09

If mine keep popping to Marks and Spencer's food hall on a daily basis I'm going to make them sign a Do Not Resuscitate and see if that focuses their minds.


Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 21:09

I wouldn't mind so much if they were normally stupid, but they are both very Intelligent people. Can't understand it.

@Absentwomen I'm sure she would do shopping for you willingly and she would rather you live than die what sounds like a horrible death. You could also get shopping delivered. Please sign up for a few different sites now and book in advance. The shit has hit the fan and it is all over the room. Take some care please.

OP posts:

TwelveIslands · 17/03/2020 21:10

My stepmum in her 70s laughs at anyone taking it seriously.


blue25 · 17/03/2020 21:10

My Mum (83) has been out for the last 5/6 days. Today she “just popped“ to the library, the bank, boots and the post office. She isn’t getting it at all!


CoronaIsComing · 17/03/2020 21:10

Well yes, because they’re 57 and 58 and working full time 😂 but I was shocked at the number of over 70s that we’re out and about as usual today (not just nipping to a shop). It’s not really right when we’re all socially distancing to protect them 🤨


Bonkersblond · 17/03/2020 21:10

Yes PIL 81 not in best health ask where we are getting our info from when giving them reasons for not going out, they listen to the news, daily paper delivered but seem surprised at our concerns.


DishingOutDone · 17/03/2020 21:11

Thing is though, people in their 70s now will not have seen a lot of disasters - any more than someone aged 40 will. My Dad would have been 95 if he was alive and he had to lie to join the navy at 15, so a 70 year old wouldn't have been through the war.


Canklesforankles · 17/03/2020 21:11

Ah yes noname my MIL said

“I was careful. I wore a scarf over my face.” Hmm


LunaTheCat · 17/03/2020 21:11

I think asking people 70 plus to self isolate is hard. Many have other conditions and have had time to consider their mortality. For most quality of life is very important and self isolating at home for 4 months is a huge ask which is likely to adversely effect their mood and psychological health hugely.


RoseLalique · 17/03/2020 21:12

Yes. And saw loads of septuagenarians out and about today.


Mrsfussypants1 · 17/03/2020 21:15

Same here. MIL & FIL let themselves in to see SIL who is self isolating with a cold. She chucked them out. My mum has been to the dentist (none urgent appointment) and asked if she could take grandaughter to the park to get her some fresh air. Grandaughter has a cough so is being kept at home with her mum & dad who also have a cough. They are self isolating too so told her to stay away. My mum also said today her and her friend are going to Edinburgh for the day next week!


Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 21:15

My mum just told me they have had a chat and are not going to Sainsburys on Friday. Thank god

Now I just have to get her to set up a disinfection station for her shopping.

OP posts:

IpeartreeI · 17/03/2020 21:15

Unfortunately, they won't sit up and take notice until people start dying in significant numbers. Until their friends and neighbours start dying. We have around the same number of elderly people as Italy.

We have to act responsibly so as we don't put added pressure on the NHS. They're also putting the younger immunosuppressed and pregnant women at risk.


Solasum · 17/03/2020 21:20

I think for many in that age group, it is the just popping out which makes the difference between feeling they have a life, or are just waiting to die. And that is even without coronavirus.


Nearlyalmost50 · 17/03/2020 21:21

Luna I agree, but when competing resources come in and we don't have enough ventilators or staff or medicines, they will not have pleasant or nice deaths.

Most of the older people on this thread think the same level of care will be there for them as the last time they went into hospital (which is probably pretty bad) but this is going to be like a war-zone and to put their own families through that, and also divert resources away from other serious problems and patients.


Inkpaperstars · 17/03/2020 21:22

Are they under the impression that the advice to isolate is just for their own protection? I don't want to sound mean because obviously that is one of the major reasons. But it is also that the entire strategy for managing this rests on controlling what the NHS has to deal with at any one time, and the chance of needing hospital treatment is so much higher with age. I think knowing that and choosing to go out for non essential reasons...well bluntly it won't just potentially kill them it will kill others, not just from Covid but from other damage to nhs care in all areas. I should point that and ask if they are prepared to have a legal document refusing health care prominently displayed. In practice how any such thing could be verified, sound mind etc I have no idea...probably couldn't but it is just something to say to focus the mind. It really isn't just about age, anyone with higher risk should isolate but it is often easier for the well elderly to do so than younger people. Especially couples!


Nearlyalmost50 · 17/03/2020 21:25

I think for many in that age group, it is the just popping out which makes the difference between feeling they have a life, or are just waiting to die. And that is even without coronavirus

Yes, strangely some older people say this but my experience is they cling tenaciously onto life until the last minute. On a more positive note, I know people setting up visiting from local churches, sending cards, making more regular phone calls to older folks. It's not as much fun as having a coffee out, but let's face it, most of us would prefer to be having a coffee out and might feel depressed staying in, but something has to give.


raspberryk · 17/03/2020 21:25

Yes because one isn't 70 for 6 months, and the other is too busy at work despite serious health conditions.


GetTheSprinkles · 17/03/2020 21:26

Yep, DD has bad Parkinsons and had a recent heart attack, DM has chronic bronchitis. Both went on a flight 2 days ago and have been going to pubs and shops. Frustrating but nothing I can do.


EarlyMorningStart · 17/03/2020 21:27

My mum is 84. She has angina.
Today we dropped off a big bag of shopping for her. It was far too heavy for her to carry, so we had her unlock the door and hide in the kitchen while we took it in, trying not to touch anything. We left immediately.
Spoke to her tonight. Apparently her hairdresser is coming to her flat tomorrow. And she still has some shopping to get (despite me asking her to give me a comprehensive list).
What is the point? We’ll be in serious lockdown in no time at this rate.


Absentwomen · 17/03/2020 21:30

We are in our late 50s and early 60s. (DP)

Yes, OP, she would do shopping for us. However, my DH was desperate to have a drive and a wander around the supermarket for a few bits.

We do understand the seriousness of it and my DH has had a previous MI and has asthma but having not been well himself for three weeks, we assessed the situation and felt it was the sensible thing to do. We have not seen daylight for three weeks.

I must admit, this thread is great. But our friends are taking it seriously and we wouldn't tolerate silliness. We haven't seen our grandkids for three weeks prior to this weeks events as we simply didn't want to pass onto them or our DD (NHS worker) any nasties that are hanging around.

We did online shopping before loo roll shortage. My DH hates it. One thing to remember though, is that we have led our lives prior to the internet. We like shops.

It is going to take some time to lock down the country. There will always be 'us' who will defy 'being told what to do'

We have had our bollocking from the DD today. We are now hanging our heads in shame.

And we miss our grandkids. Massively.


MaxNormal · 17/03/2020 21:30

For most quality of life is very important and self isolating at home for 4 months is a huge ask which is likely to adversely effect their mood and psychological health hugely.

Our quality of life was important too but that's just tanked with all our income disappearing overnight. I could say that's had an adverse effect on my mood.

Of course it's shit but there's a global pandemic, it's really selfish when people don't do their bit.


onemachine · 17/03/2020 21:30

Good point @Inkpaperstars

My MIL also went to the hairdressers today and going into the house of people with coughs but “it’s OK” because she was “only in there 5 minutes”. Not sure if it’s stupidity that they don’t realise it takes less than 5 minutes to catch a virus or ignorance that they don’t care about their impact and role in society.


hairychinsrus · 17/03/2020 21:31

Mine announced that they were self isolating yesterday. Today I called them to see if I could
help them with anything or get an online shopping account set up. I was told that they had a quiet day. Went out to pick up the dogs prescription, popped into the co op and then went to the pub for lunch.
Both are mid 70s mum very high risk, Dad
Just thinks the laws don't apply to him. So frustrating


Coughsyrupsucks · 17/03/2020 21:32

MIL has COPD, Dementia, Diabetes, and a Heart Condition, she and FIL are still swanning about. Going to Supermarkets, restaurants, all their non urgent doctors and hospital appointments because they ‘like a run out’. FIL keeps saying he’ll probably catch it anyway and it’s just like the flu. Completely ignoring it will utterly kill MIL. We’ve given up!

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