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Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

765 replies

Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 20:45

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

OP posts:

Marpan · 17/03/2020 21:32

Yep my parents are Constantly going to the shops, then there’s my grandparents. Off to their fitness classes At 85 followed by the shops and a cafe. How are these classes even on?!! I’ve offered to buy stuff but what’s the point if they are out all day!!! “It’s an overreaction, they say”


RunningNinja79 · 17/03/2020 21:33

Just said this on another thread.

My parents are like this, their excuse is that they are not elderly. They are 70 and 72. Mum has diabetes, both are medically obese and drink much more than the recommended amount. They are both a heart attack waiting to happen. However, my mum scoffed at me when I suggested the schools might close and I might have to WFH. She just doesn't get it. TBH I think its come as a bit of a shock to her that she's classed as elderly.

They were due to go on holiday for a week on Thursday. They've only given in to the idea of not going because it was cancelled and they have had a full refund. I seriously think if they were due to go yesterday they would have gone.

Im dreading the fall out that is coming when I refuse to go and see them next month (They are over an hours drive away and we go down once a month usually)

MIL hardly goes anywhere for other reasons. I fear for her mental health as much as her physical health (she also has a lung condition) as she really is alone.


Pollaidh · 17/03/2020 21:33

It was a bit harsh but when I pointed out my DF had about a 1/4 chance of dying if he caught it, I think that helped get the message across. It's taking repeated reminders though and it feels like it's taking them time to absorb the message because they don't want to believe at first. DH is the same, but his thinking has changed rapidly in 3 days.


RedDiamond · 17/03/2020 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenpop21 · 17/03/2020 21:34

It’s annoyingly as everyone else’s normally is being curtailed for their benefit and they don’t care!


Greenpop21 · 17/03/2020 21:34



WheresTheEvidence · 17/03/2020 21:35

My mum cant go to London this weekend and was dismayed that national trust is shut as they were going to do that instead.


hotcrossbun4321 · 17/03/2020 21:36

Yes - despite one of them being diabetic and them both being well over pension age. One parent is insisting it's fine to carry on with their hobby job (they don't need the money) which involves coming into contact with hundreds of people a day - but apparently it's fine because they wash their hands Hmm I'm absolutely livid with them, this is a continuation of years of trying to get them to take their health seriously. Meanwhile DH and I are heeding all the advice and disrupting our lives so why can't they?!

I think there's an element of 'we've been through worse than this...' thinking which clouds their judgement. I'm trying to get across that even if they think they're fine, they may be putting more vulnerable people at risk but it's falling on deaf ears


absopugginglutely · 17/03/2020 21:37

Yep - dad planning on driving 200 miles this weekend to spend weekend with us!
99 year old granny having dinner party on Sunday with my Aunts and uncle “but will be fine because no kids going to be there” 😫🤯🤯🤯


Rachie1973 · 17/03/2020 21:38

I work as a support worker to the elderly. You sometimes have to accept they know the risks but see their remaining years as a ‘quality not quantity’ concept. They are not children and we shouldn’t treat them as such.


MyHairNeedsASnip · 17/03/2020 21:38

🖐️ mine. Both have had cancer, both have heart problems, dad has diabetes and kidney failure and can't walk 10 paces without gasping for breath. Yet mum won't be kept in. I feel the army will be dragging her back up the lane and welding the door shut in a few weeks time.


LittleRen · 17/03/2020 21:38

No, and I am very surprised as they are both very young 70 year olds, very healthy... very active. Mum minds my children twice a week, dad is a consultant for big pharmaceutical companies and still works away. So I am surprised they are taking fhis seriously - but I think they are at a point where they still want quantity of life over quality. Some I guess have the opposite opinion.

I will miss them dearly for 12 weeks. I really will. Mum is my rock.


RichTwoTurkeyFriend · 17/03/2020 21:38

Yep. Despite having nearly died 6 months ago of a heart attack, my 73 year old father has decided he doesn’t need to take any precautions because ‘he’s thinks he’s pretty healthy’


jollygoose · 17/03/2020 21:39

ffs be glad your parents are independent and not bothering you for everything they need for the next few weeks. My dd has quite enough to manage with her job and kids without me adding to it I would much rather be useful than needy and accept a slight risk of mixing though I shall keep my distance.


Diversion · 17/03/2020 21:39

My Mum is immunosupressed due to having no spleen and is in her late 70's and my Dad is 80. Everything considering they are pretty fit but Mum went to the O2 arena in London with my sister 10 days ago. Mum was saying this is all a huge load of nonsense and we fell out a little. I told her tonight that schools and colleges are closing, people are being told to work from home and the shops have lots of empty shelves. I think she might be starting to take things a bit more seriously as they are usually out and about, but spent today in the garden. They dont do online shopping, banking or paying for anything online preferring to go to wherever and pay by card. I have asked her tonight to let me know what they need shopping wise, but am in no doubt that they will be off to Sainsbury's this week as normal. Fingers crossed they ask me to help with whatever they need instead. I have made it very clear that shops are struggling to keep up with supplies of quite a few things at the moment and hope that this is enough to persuade her not to go.


Greenpop21 · 17/03/2020 21:40

MIL thinks she’s still going on holiday as she hadn’t heard she’s not. Said it’s all ott but then asked my DH not to call in because he’d recently had a sickness bug. He tried to tell her it was days ago and becides it was a far lower risk than CV to get but no, didn’t get through to her .


AwdBovril · 17/03/2020 21:41

My mother is completely ignoring what's going on. She's in her 60s, works with adults with severe disabilities, & is still planning to go to a family party / get-together in a couple of months. Thinks all the extra hand washing etc is OTT. Critical of a colleague who is currently isolating. Absolutely confident she will be fine & not catch it, as "God wouldn't let that happen". I don't know what she'll do if they start imposing any kind of curfew situation, like in Italy, China etc.


AngryPrincess · 17/03/2020 21:41

Nah, mine are both dead.
I can see their point though.


Mother87 · 17/03/2020 21:42

What if B&Q/Iceland set up bunk-beds just for the over 70's and quarantined them there as they're so determined to go (Lighthearted!!Grin)


JustABasicWitch · 17/03/2020 21:42

Yep, spoke with my Gran yesterday and she did not seem fazed in the slightest. I tried to explain to her the severity of what has already happened in other countries, but I swear she thinks shes invincible.

Wont stop going to town - she doesnt trust ATMs so insists she needs to go to the Bank twice a week, still wants to go to Church, pops out to the shops as and when...

My Grandad is currently back in hospital yet again - developed another infection on top of his severe COPD, Respiratory Failure & heart issues. We know he hasnt got very long left and so I would like to spend as much time as possible with him - usually we'd be with him everyday at the hospital, but Im having to make excuses as to why I cant take her there at the moment, because 'this flu thing' as she says, doesnt seem to be a good enough reason.

Grans worried about him being in the hospital, but tbh im more worried about him coming home, with her refusing to isolate herself.



AuldAlliance · 17/03/2020 21:42

They're also putting the younger immunosuppressed and pregnant women at risk.
They're putting everyone at risk. The virus is really serious and the death rate is terrifying, but death isn't the only issue. Young people and people in their 30s are in intensive care and research is showing that it can have long-term effects on the heart and lungs.
These categories of "at risk" individuals are one of the reasons so many aren't taking it seriously enough. People need to stop thinking "only X% of such and such a category die of it", start realising they are walking around with an uncocked pistol at their side and begin acting appropriately.


TitianaTitsling · 17/03/2020 21:42

Yep! Off to provide childcare for the golden one, because they can't be expected to have to pay for childcare.... whereas my job is just not as important -+braggable-- would never offer this support to me...


TitianaTitsling · 17/03/2020 21:43

Strikethrough fail there!


Getitdonesharpish · 17/03/2020 21:43

My mum is 70 and a nurse so she can’t really avoid it. She did concede that having a family get together this weekend wasn’t the best idea.


CoolCarrie · 17/03/2020 21:43

For goodness sake let your parents make their own choices!!

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