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Original poster

Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

765 replies

Namechange2020onceagain · 17/03/2020 20:45

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

OP posts:
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janelmac · 20/03/2020 08:43

Polkadotties if my dad was still alive he'd be 99. He fought in the war. He'd absolutely be following advice and he'd think those that weren't were bloody idiots (I can just imagine his face). Keep calm and carry on is just a stupid excuse made by selfish people.

MarshaBradyo · 20/03/2020 08:46

How people who were just being born or there abouts during the war have appropriated some sort of faux blitz spirit is just an excuse to be wilfully stubborn.

And yes there are more of all age groups but it will hit them hardest. As such advice is stronger to adhere to it.

Duchessofblandings · 20/03/2020 08:49

Snoozylou

“I don't think anyone will be looking for notes. Doctors will just have to decide based on criteria. Fully appreciate that a lot of people are taking sensible measures, but a lot of people aren't and it is selfish.”

I agree! We’re singing from the same song sheet, perhaps I’m putting it badly.

We are in 12 week isolation, 3 vulnerable people in my immediate family at home. My parents in their 80s, though fit and well, are taking this very seriously and following all advice.

I’m saying though, that the many stubborn elderly people who have decided to flout it should be a. understanding and accepting that they by doing so and becoming ill they are unlikely to receive treatment and b. making it crystal clear to their families in a formal way that they have no wish to do so.

AlexaAmbidextra · 20/03/2020 08:58

I think the older generation are behaving recklessly and disgracefully.

Blubelle7. Open your eyes. It isn’t the older generation that is partying in crowded pubs and clubs until late at night. Just look at any newspaper and stop with the mindless prejudice.

janelmac · 20/03/2020 09:00

There are people of all ages behaving recklessly and dangerously.

sansgender · 20/03/2020 09:05

My MIL in her mid 70s is carrying on as normal and encouraging others to do the same. I'm self isolating with my toddler and OH is going to work.. he needs to drop off some medication on Sunday but I know she won't accept it just being posted through the door or standing at a distance - OH will want to make her happy and she kicks off if not given enough attention. Don't know if I should be annoyed about this as none of us are high risk - she is though.

Namethecat · 20/03/2020 09:32

My mil is not tech savvy , has no internet at home and is 84 with copd . She's not watching the news , has stopped buying the paper and will not listen to us telling her she is at risk and needs to take the precautions given.
She is still shopping , meeting friends , going out for meals . She is definitely burying her head in the sand . In the coming weeks and when the situation worsens we will be burying her.

SedentaryCat · 20/03/2020 09:57

My dad, 73, only 15-20% kidney function, susceptible to infection, sole carer of my extremely frail step-mother, 86, who has dementia.

Has been going shopping every couple of days, to the pharmacy to collect meds, etc.

Won't accept any help from anyone, not even his more forceful sister, but still wants us to go on social visits with the kids. Is upset that we have said we can't, and won't use Skype so that he can see us. He's used it before so it's not an issue of not knowing what to do.

janelmac · 20/03/2020 12:58

I'm going to defend older people. I've just been on a long walk through my local town centre and park. The only older people I saw were either couples having a stroll or elderly people walking to or from the shops with shopping bags.

In contrast, the cafes in the high st were busy with younger people and families. In the park the playground was still open and lots of children were playing together on the equipment with adults sitting on the benches clutching their costa cups and chatting. I saw 2 different groups of adults and children, both school age and younger having picnics.

If we're going to get through this we all need to play our part as a society. There is no point in the schools being closed if children aren't staying home.

Quickquestion2020 · 20/03/2020 13:06

I'm so proud of PILs who are self isolating fully. They've always had a war store of food so have a months food and medication easily. We will bring when necessary. No complaints, told us not to even send anything for mothers day. Absolute shock. They are both well over 70 with serious health conditions, a common cold takes months to fight off with steroids, they have zero chance of surviving this, I'm just glad they realise this and care enough to prevent it.

Original poster
Namechange2020onceagain · 20/03/2020 13:46

Well I spoke too soon. My Dad said they are going to Sainsburys to get things they can't get delivered (not that they have tried). I asked what, he said drinks they like and icecubes!! WTF

I said again that I can get all those things. He said well mum goes in and she is careful. Yes but you can catch it by just breathing it in if someone has coughed or sneezed in the last hour or so, he went quiet. I think they still intend to go out. I give up!!!!

PIL are the same, they told me they were chatting to their ndn and she said they have to self isolate as her partner has Covid19. I said I hope you kept at least 2 meters away from her and mil said it's okay, she doesn't have it. I said YET AGAIN she could have it and show no symtoms. Their ndn is a police woman and should know better.

This morning my 2 nearest hospitals have reached capacity for covid19 patients and are not accepting any new cases.

They are all going to die.

OP posts:
annemac101 · 20/03/2020 13:50

I'm just over 60 with a lung condition. I have to exercise to keep them my lungs healthy. I go to an active age aerobics class and over a week ago I decided not to go back until all of this is over. The reason being that so many woman in their 70s and 80's were saying they're not changing anything and it's only a flu. I thought,well are they washing hands properly? Using hand gel? One tried to give me a cuddle, usually nice but not under these circumstances when she knows I'm in and out of hospital. I cancelled everything I had on last week and stayed indoors. That's me until the end of this virus. I know younger folk are socializing too but these older people who go out and about will contract the virus and then pass it on to sons or daughters who are trying to help out. It's selfish.

Original poster
Namechange2020onceagain · 20/03/2020 13:57

Thank you @annemac101

OP posts:
Waspnest · 20/03/2020 13:59

But Also all your replies are from the point of view of a (presumably) healthy 60 something. Most of the parents that we are talking about are in their 70s or 80s and the death rates for those are possibly 8% and nearly 15% respectively. And even that is a lot bit of a guess because it relies on testing rates and using data from other countries such as Italy where general health in the elderly may be different to the UK and obviously the health care system is different. All we can do is stick to the hygiene and social distancing rules and hope it protects the vulnerable.

SundayGirlB · 20/03/2020 14:03

Yep, most of the older generation just not listening. My mum is inly5un her 50s but with an underlying health condition, my dad is 70 with one too. I had to really read them the riot act the other day and I think they get it now. Mum seems to think it applies to everyone but her.

But then in the supermarket yesterday, a women in her 80s tried to touch my baby's hand and face with the best intentions I am sure but wtaf! I was flabbergasted.

SundayGirlB · 20/03/2020 14:04

Only in*

brittanyfairies · 20/03/2020 14:12

I think my mum is going for suicide by Corona, she seems to have upped her interaction with the world. She had a triple bypass last year and is a lifelong smoker.

Apparently she has to go sometime and doesn't give a shit. I even pointed out that struggling to breathe with no medical intervention was the way she wanted to go. She doesn't care, doesn't believe that Corona really exists. I had to hang up on her last night I was crying with frustration and anger. My job is closed down, I'm on lockdown and can't go out to try and protect her generation and she's off to Aldi, bingo and a pub lunch on sunday.

springwedding · 20/03/2020 14:40

I just really need to vent.

I have a family member who is not taking this situation seriously at all and I'm close to losing my mind over it. She has been out every day this week to various shops and intends on being out for lunch and drinks tomorrow.

She has an adult son who is the most at risk. He has received a transplant, has a blood cancer and is still receiving weekly chemo at a hospital with confirmed cases.

Comments she has made this morning include

"I'll be doing what I normally do, this is all a nonsense."

"Well whats for you won't go by you so no point fretting."

"I'll be fine if I get it, millions get the flu every year and no one is crying over that."

"Closing the schools for what? They've just finished telling us kids can't get it! See! Left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing!"

I have told her this morning that she can carry on but she won't be seeing a single family member until this passes. I'm absolutely done with the sheer ignorance and carelessness when I know people who have lost their jobs this week and others who are putting themselves at great risk working in the NHS.

annemac101 · 20/03/2020 15:16

Wouldn't it be terrible for children to find out that their grandparents died through ignorance, stubbornness and just sheer disregard for what's going on around them. Some legacy !

new0rules · 20/03/2020 15:18

My mum (60 and a lifelong smoker) is acting like nothing’s changed. Her partner is 70 and has severe health issues. She continues with social activities which compromise her and others health and when challenged actually told me she has made a will etc in case she dies as a result of Coronavirus (rather than simply staying at home....)
I think she is a bit of a narc....

LuluJakey1 · 20/03/2020 16:58

My MIL is now taking this seriously. FIL has been since the start because he has a condition that makes him vulnerable. MIL- fit as a flea- was a bit 'I'll decide what I consider safe'. Her mother- in her 90s- lives with them and was a bit the same- popping out for milk or sweets at the local shop.
However, they are now taking it seriously and have stayed at home since Wednesday. DH dropped off milk, bread, eggs, cheese and some veg today. Had a conversation at the door and said they were all fine. DS went with him. They kept their distance from them. Thinks MIL is going to find this the hardest. His dad has been in his workshop fiddling on with bits of wood and things. MIL likes to be out. She said she was taking grandma for a drive this afternoon and taking a flask.

GabsAlot · 21/03/2020 17:04

oh well at least they cant go to pubs and cafes now thats a good thing

MarshaBradyo · 22/03/2020 07:30

I’m copying and pasting from another thread.

It can be dismissed as hearsay or not. Or never going to happen in U.K.

Up to your parents but better to know now rather than later if neither apply.

‘An nhs dr has written he’s heard Italy has stopped intubating anyone over 60. Someone who is 61 is not old and infirm. I get they have to prioritise but it’s shocking that the line has been drawn there and demonstrates how bad it must be.’

TamingToddler · 22/03/2020 07:50

Does anyone know what youre supposed to do if you're a key worker but have a family member at home that's at risk?