Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

[Namechange2020onceagain]

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

Offered to get my parents shopping delivered at the start of the week. We'll be fine. Called to check they didn't want anything last night - no we've done it. Did you get everything? Oh yes, but we had to go around 3 supermarkets. They were ever so busy.

I fucking despair.

@Tonyaster you really can't tell who is vulnerable. I'm mid 30s and look perfectly healthy. I've got a blood condition which means I'm isolating for as long as needed and my consultant has been very clear I am not to go out. My 70yo dad is healthier than me!

I don’t think they can relate the situation to them. They hear the advice they want to hear, but can’t follow that through to their own actions. Silo’d thinking.

When their friends and family start dying that’ll be the time they grasp the enormity of it. Right now, to them it’s just a few old people who lived somewhere miles away with a new flu going round.

Probably worse as it’s originated in China which again they can’t relate to, might as well be the fucking moon to a lot of them. Too geographically far away from their lives so they can’t grasp it might impact them.

I’m in my early 60s and in reasonable good health but I cancelled my hair appointment today just because it seemed the right thing to do. It was only for a cut and in the great scheme of things doesn’t seem that important now. We all have to do what we can to try and keep everyone safe, no matter what age we are.

That is my fear. When it happens to someone they know it might hit home.

Tbh for me it’s not that they are actually going out couple shopping, trying to have lunch etc in cafes. If they get it they surely will accept that they have been warned.

It’s the potential decision making that a Dr might have to make when faced with an 82 year old seriously ill patient and a 14 year old who is less ill but still needs a bed.

That is why it’s so bloody selfish for the elderly to do this. And of course for the families of the elderly person.

@Tonyaster
No coughs or sneezes allowed in our pool or you will be asked to leave

So you would be asked to leave AFTER you’ve coughed or sneezed (or both). How would that help exactly? And what about the changing rooms? I’m surprised all pools/leisure centres/gyms are not closed now anyway.

It’s the potential decision making that a Dr might have to make when faced with an 82 year old seriously ill patient and a 14 year old who is less ill but still needs a bed

There would be no decision, the 14 year old would get the bed. I’m not 70 yet and I’d definitely expect and want them to be treated in preference to me. Do you honestly think those of us who are older don’t know and understand these things?

PIL are off on holiday (in the U.K.). Both have underlying health conditions so it is rather worrying. I do hope they change their minds.

PP who are absolutely fine about younger people getting treatment and/or beds are completely underestimating the effect on a doctor who has to make that decision, knowing that they are condemning the older person to certain death. It's still a selfish attitude when all you've got to do is stay in the fucking house for a few weeks and stop spreading it.

Sick of seeing /hearing that 'sitting on your couch' même.

Give it up already!

Oh God glad I found you all.
Called mum yesterday she was in a pub having a anniversary lunch. Funny she remarked ..there is no one else here! Well of course not mum ! Ffs.
Then today we had a long chat where she talked at me about her trip to tesco...butchers...waitrose and costa!
Jesus

Neighbour (mid 80s) on phone chat earlier checking in with her.
‘Hmmm x cathedral is shut so I can’t now go do my voluntary guides for visitors after this afternoon’.
Me - but you’re not supposed to be going out right now at all.
Her - oh yes well it’s all nonsense isn’t it. No way am I sitting in.
I can’t go on - it just carried on - she’s stocked up herself and indeed had tried to call me earlier but we got cut off because she was in a coffee shop with poor reception. It sounded busy.

Yes but equally they're adults. My mum said she would rather die a few months earlier than she probably will naturally than face social isolation. I understand that.

Yes but equally they're adults. My mum said she would rather die a few months earlier than she probably will naturally than face social isolation. I understand that.

But it isn't that simple is it? It's not just that they might catch it it's that they are spreading it around. By carrying on regardless the period of isolation is being made longer, causing businesses to fold and the economy to collapse.

maddy68

“Yes but equally they're adults. My mum said she would rather die a few months earlier than she probably will naturally than face social isolation. I understand that.”

Then she needs to put that wish in writing and you need to ensure she does not receive treatment if she becomes ill.

It isn;t just about them though is it- yes they me be at greater personal risk themselves, but that doesn't abdicate their responsibiity towards others.
I am lessening my contact, although not in a high risk group, I want to play me part in lowering the spread.
My 86 yo mother and her friend have been on a day out today, 4 bus trips, a cafe, two supermarkets, charity shops.
Far more than I would feel comfortable with right now- and she laughs about it.
She is not the only one at risk though, she seems to have no care or comprehension that she is putting others at risk too.
She finds it all hilarious, and planning another trip out tomorrow.

Yes but equally they're adults. My mum said she would rather die a few months earlier than she probably will naturally than face social isolation. I understand that.

I know a lot of older people think this way. What they don't seem to consider is what happens if they contract it, end up with serious lung damage, and have to live for years in a chair, hooked up to an oxygen tank, without the strength to go anywhere.

Isn't it worth just staying in for a bit?

It isn't very adult feeling that you are the only one at risk from your activities. By their attitudes they are also risking others.

Yes but equally they're adults. My mum said she would rather die a few months earlier than she probably will naturally than face social isolation. I understand that.

What part of PEOPLE WHO GET INFECTED SPREAD IT TO OTHERS is so hard to understand?

Hold on - all those people saying that they would fully expect a bed to go to someone younger. I presume you have put that all in writing? It is so easy to say this and when your lungs are filling up and you can’t breath it will be your family trying to save you. When my parents are incapacitated and screaming for help as their POA I will be doing everything I can. I bloody well hope that they don’t put me in that position! It won’t be your decision to make. Are you honestly telling me your family will offer a critical care bed to someone else.

And your 80 plus year old Mum. Has she got all of her friends agreement that if she passes it to them they will refuse all critical care. No, I didn’t think so.

PLEASE STOP MESSING AROUND WITH THESE WARNINGS. THEY ARE TO KEEP YOU HEALTHY.

I had a birth plan. My very wise consultant said to decide during labour rather than having a coffee and having often unrealistic expectations.

He was right. I laugh at my birth plan many years later!

The "blitz spirit" is laughable.
In the blitz people didn't blithely walk around London going to coffee shops while there was an air raid on, they went in the shelters!

Hold on - all those people saying that they would fully expect a bed to go to someone younger. I presume you have put that all in writing?

I thought that. It's all very well sitting saying it now. You might feel very differently when faced with the reality.

I saw someone today getting on their high horse about their medical condition being more serious than someone else's, like it's some kind of pissing competition. I don't have a lot of faith in people spouting "be kind", while stockpiling 4 tonnes of bog roll, and 25 packets of paracetamol, sorry.