I am Jewish and have family (DH's sisters )in Israel. The thing is that the Shoah taught Jews that only they can defend themselves, nobody else. What is also the case is that DH's sisters support these military actions and it's not because they hate Palestinians. It's because they are traumatized and they have been told that this is what is needed to eliminate Hamas. And that all the bombs, all the actions that Israel have taken thus far are also for the good of the Palestinian people (who need to be liberated from hamas)
I remember posting an excerpt of a sermon from my rabbi which quoted the Mishnah in the family chat. Basically it was saying that the angels didn't rejoice even when our enemies at that time (Egyptian soldiers) died so even in war, we need to remember our humanity and not descend to same level as terrorists. Cue in an angry reply from my SIL (who grew up in London and is your typical soft spoken English rose) who said that this sermon (and getting all biblical) was insensitive and it's easy for me to moralize from London. And that they are terrified and the enemy are barbarians. My other SIL whose best friend in university was an Iranian girl (and was living in the UK until last year) is now super pro IDF and feels that the bombing of civilians needs to be done for the sake of the Palestinian people.. she was also upset with my DH who donated £150 to UNICEF (for the Palestinian children) and told him that it was going to Hamas!
I have shared my login details to haaretz with them so it is not for lack of information, haaretz is the Israeli equivalent of the new York times and does not agree with netanyahu's approach and regularly writes about the suffering of the Palestinians as well as detailed analysis by renowned academics that say how destroying Hamas and hurting the Palestinian people will just create Hamas 2.0. My SILs still don't believe me or the experts (in an Israeli newspaper)..
Btw my family are probably more on the left wing of the spectrum and more open minded. They always socialized with non Jewish people and their mum is a convert, have non Jewish family which they love.. before I converted, they also didn't treat me any differently . So this is a shock to me that they are acting this way, it is very very uncharacteristic. I firmly believe it is trauma and not their true personality and they would be fine when this is all over, possibly regret it.