Ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[randomimposter]

Just to start us off.

May this be a happy and lucky thread for all of us.

just popping on to tell you that my hcg is finally normal and at 0.4!! wooop!

Hippy glad your scan went well and you're being given good care.

Acupuncture really helped my bleeding (twice). It hadn't helped that hospital had missed a mild infection but antibiotics and acupuncture meant that last Wednesday, as I arrived at Glastonbury, my bleeding finally stopped after 32 days!

Pretty sure I ovulated last week early so am hoping AF turns up sometime in next week or so... and I have to wait til Sept to TTC again due to methotrexate, but am going on a really great diet of healthy stuff inc all the stuff Zita West recommends, I'm going to book a HSG test when AF turns up and in Sept we're GOING FOR IT!!!!!

At Glastonbury we bought matching fertility chrystals and said a prayer on prayer wheels. We also put a wish on a wishing tree 'we wish for a baby next year. Who knows, maybe it'll help!

gonepearshaped I am really sorry to hear your news, I wanted to post and send some suggestions so this post is just for you. But please ignore anything unhelpful!

I am sorry you got such a high fsh, it does seem very high to me at 49.7, is there any chance it was fluke or in some way that the test was not done correctly on the right day or whatever. I am not sure but if it is done too early I think it can influence the result. I don?t know what the significance of the low estrogen and no change between day 5 and day 21 progesterone is exactly so I hope the doctor was able to explain it all to you and whether there is anything you can do. I have heard that Agnus Castus helps with cycles and fertility, not sure exactly how! I am currently taking it.

I think it is a good idea to get dh?s swimmers analysed and to be referral to an assisted conception unit. I am sorry not to know your whole story (am I right in thinking you don?t have any children yet?) Because of the name of this thread, am I right in thinking you are over 40?

If I can be so bold as to make a few suggestions which you can ignore if you like. If your egg supply is not a possibility would you consider using donor eggs? I am only asking as we had some treatment with donor eggs (sadly unsuccessful but another lady on the assisted contraception thread has been successful). I have no idea if this is available on the NHS or not. I would be quite surprised if it was but you never know. I am assuming if you are over 40 that you may have to pay for treatment, please do check that out ? it is different in all places, but if you are going to end up paying then you would pay whatever country you are in so wherever you go abroad may not mean the end to treatment. Out of interest can I ask where you are going (possibly) abroad?

A move abroad may change things but might not necessarily change them for the worst. For example some countries might have cheaper treatment or more donors due to different rules.

Anyway, I know it is a total shock and I am so sorry but please do not say that the ?..whole ttc thing seeming a bit impossible now...? Because it may well be possible but in a different way to what you had thought. If your dh?s swimmers are OK (even remotely OK) and you use a donor egg you could have a child that way (if it works, a big if but you can decide together) and if not then there are sometimes also opportunities to have treatment using a donated embryo from a couple who have finished their treatment.

You are not gloomy, you are acting perfectly normally under the circumstances! But I do hope that once you know some more you will be able to make a judgment about what to do.

Hippy I am so sorry that there was no miracle baby but happy it is all clear.

Hippy I know you are keen to move in, and wish you every best thing for that to happen but please do grieve for this time. Whatever happened inside your womb it was a part of your life and I wouldn?t want you to try and move on without coming to terms with it, although I am sure you do feel very differently to how you did with your last miscarriage. Everyone deals with things differently, I wrote a little bit about it just to keep, and wrote in the hospital miscarriage book. Other people attend services, plant trees or bushes or flowers or buy an ornament. Some people do nothing but I think it does help sometimes to have something to look back on or note if you feel sad in the future. One friend who had many failed IVF attempts and probably miscarriages too, had a special place she went with her dh to remember all the babies or possible babies. Now she has kids it may not be so relevant for her - so we each decide what suits us best. Just my humble opinion.

Could you check anti-stax or something for the leg pain, it is made from a red leaf!

Yes, I am all in favour of keeping DH in the dark about what the significance of sex is. I think it effects their libido quite badly if they feel they are being used as a ?stud farm? even if they want the baby too (just my bl**dy experience!).

lindalinda Thank you for updating us, glad to hear you are getting help,

Have you decided what to do about this service? Have you lost one or many, sorry to ask but everyone?s experiences are just so different. Whatever you do I hope you will feel peaceful.

gumblossom It?s hard when friends share their happy pregnancy news. I must admit I have learnt to just grin and bear it and when it all gets too much to get away from it. In fact with one friend who let slip she was about 7 months pregnant I actually chose to bring the date of our meeting forward. I figured seeing her on my terms, my timing, for an after school play date rather than a possible whole day was better, also if we meet at hers or a neutral spot I can leave if it all feels too much! To be honest as almost every friend I have met through having my dd has gone on to have another (with only about 2 exceptions) it has been necessary to learn to put a smiling face on it! But it is still hard to sympathy to you. I once told a pregnant friend how I felt (before my DD was born) and she was so totally non-understanding about my feelings and just saw from her own side that I never tried that again! I am still friends with her and love her dearly, and can only assume that when pregnant you develop a bit of a selfish streak - as I am sure I did when I was!

hairytriangle excellent news about your hcg. Glad the bleeding has finally stopped. Roll on September . My goodness - matching fertility crystals, a prayer on prayer wheels and a wish on a wishing tree! I will send up an old fashioned arrow prayer, please God a baby for each of us, if possible, and lots of peace and fun in the meantime!

Jolly hope you get that infection or whatever it is sorted. Has the doc had a look at your lady-bits lately?

Diege how goes it?

alba, sending warm wishes.

Greetings and to any and all I missed

SORRY gumblossom that should read

But it is still hard, - sympathy to you.

linda I hope whatever you do will be right for you. BUT please do not think anyone is more (or less) entitled togrieve. as i often say we are all in the same boat ... and it is leaking! Serioulsy, if you lost a little one hyou can grieve, you don;t need anyone else's grief to crowd in. But whatever you do, hope it feels better.

Hello
Lots of great advice Italian there to Gonepearshaped and Linda. Other than my one mmc I (thankfully) don't have a lot of experience of loss, but did find buying a necklace with the birthstone of the 'would be' birthdate of my Lo helped a little, though I do feel oddly self-conscious wearing it in case people ask about it (it has a silver foot and handprint next to the stone, so obvious not a regular necklace).Odd I suppose, but nice to have it along with a scan picture and a little poem.
Hairy, that's great news about your levels, and not long at all to wait now before ttc-ing!
Hippy you sound nice and positive too - I think (for me anyway) it does help to focus on the future, although of course not moving on too quick. It's strange how everyone takes things at a different pace though. For me, I was all over the place after my mmc for about 6 weeks,then felt absolutely fine and very focused on ttc-ing.
Gum I think your LP sounds fine to me (mine is 12 days too, having formally been 14 until month before my 40th!)
Linda I think it is indeed a very difficult decision about the service - I know what you mean exactly about other peoples' grief, though don't think for a minute that grief can be measured/compared accroding to type or stage of mc. It does sound like you've been through a lot x
Well actually had a pos opk last night (line really was as dark as control - never happened before!!). So advice please...SWI last night,and would normally leave till Thursday (ie. every other day) but away in London for work from tomorrow pm till Friday pm, so would abother SWI tonight be any good??? ???

Oh Yes Deige you must get to SWI tonight!! Otherwise it may be too late by the time you get back. Usually ovulation is 12 -48 hours (most commonly 36 hours apparently)after a positive opk.So if you get more troops in place tonight, you will surely have covered your bases! Enjoy!

I thought I would just drop in and say hello.I should be bathing the toddler, but can't find the energy, so have my DD doing the job.Will go in in a minute and see how they are going. He didn't have an afternoon nap today, so we are both feeling frazzled. At least my DH is home (he was away for 3 days) so that is good.

Hope all are feeling well and positive.

Rowing are you out there?It's been ages and I miss you! And Frosty?

Thanks Gumblossom!!! Yes, will have to be nice to dh again tonight then but still, as you say, chances will be maximised. Obsessing now about the horse riding trek I have planned for 10th July. Will just have to hold on really tight and not fall off; in fact may do a preg test on that morning as would be cd 24 in a 26 day cycle...
Hope the bath time went to plan - can't wait until my older dds can help out more. At the moment (age 7 and 8) they are rather 'inconsistent' shall we say with the level of care they provide to their baby brother!

Diege, I was going to say swi too!

I am in the same position, my cbfm is showing a "high" (on day 6 wtf?), and I am not currently speaking much to dh as he has really pissed me off. will have to get friendly with him sooner than I want to really! swi is so political!

Hippy glad it was almost the best possible news for you. It is difficult to look forward sometimes. I have been feeling really down as it is nearly my due date and I really hoped to be pg again by now.

Jollster hope is all ok with you.

Hairy - my bleeding only stopped with acupuncture too. Hope Glasto was good - I was very envious of everyone there. We were last there in 2005 in the pouring rain with 3 dcs. Still enjoyed it, but would have liked the sun!

Gonepearshaped, sorry about your news. I don't know very much about fsh levels either I'm afraid, but can imagine how devastating such news is. Hope you and dh get some help from the assisted conception unit.

Gum sorry about rtd. I am trying to feel similarly positive. It does get better the closer to ov you get I think, but a month is such a long time!

Linda, what did you decide about the service in the end? I can see that it would be very difficult being there with others. Until I went through my mmc, I like everyone else thought there were different levels of grief depending on when/how you mc, and even now I feel fraudulent when speaking to people who lost babies later than me. it's very difficult I think.

Thanks to all for the kind thoughts and very especially to Italian for taking the time to talk through it all, getting other people's perspective really helps a lot.

My fsh is incredibly high, I've read 50+ is considered post-menopausal which is odd cause AF still turns up. I had a reading like this 3 years ago closely followed by two normal ones and the doctor told me he thought there must have been an error to get such a high reading. I was reassured at the time but now am wondering.

There is obviously something up because the very low progesterone on day 21 means I didn't ovulate, and the low estrogen ties in with the high fsh IYSWIM. You produce more and more fsh until the follicle responds which then triggers the estrogen to prepare for possible implantation. If no follicular response then no estrogen increase.

I've also just had three very long cycles (am on day 35 now ) so its not looking great! Anyway I've made appointments for acupuncture with specialist in fertility issues and also with herbalist. maybe they can kick start things or at least balance me out a bit.

I'm 42 now and I have one ds who's six, in that respect I'm blessed. If we move it will be back to Italy probably means no more herbal stuff but I have a good gynae lined up. All depends now if DPs swimmers are any good - if not we really will have to call it a day.

Really appreciate how kind people are on here, can't talk about this stuff much in RL.

Linda I hope whatever you decide about the service you do find some comfort, you shouldn't feel a fraud, the loss is hard to bear whenever it comes.

BTW Diege I thought they'd decided it wasn't so important to wait a day between swi's I reckon tonight is better than not can't believe I just told someone I've never even met to go jump her DP!

Linda so sorry (on behalf of all ministers and church related things!) that the service was so bad. If I were running a service or organising one I think I know what I would include! My guess is, that people who have not lost a baby did not have input to the service. What a shame. If anyone asks you for feedback I do hope you will give it! Thinking of you.

Diege I would suggest s*x tonight - now when else can you suggest when other people do it!! Or perhaps first thing in the morning tomorrow if dh is a morning man!

Diege What a beautiful idea to buy a necklace with the birth stone of the baby. I wish I had thought of that. I have nothing but a bar of soap that was in hospital with me! The miscarriage was in January (2006) but the baby would have been born in September (very early loss), what stone would I choose? It's not to do with star signs is it, I don't so star signs. But I like the idea of a birth stone. I am busy watching Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares in French (amazingly you don?t need much French to understand what is going on!) But I did almost want to reply to you in French!!!

Pollyanna sorry you have been feeling down lately. Just my opinion but I really don't think it is how late you lose a baby that makes it hard or easy, but so many other factors as well. Of course late makes it hard because of all the expectations etc but my mmc was incredibly early! I do think how you deal with it at the time has an impact, which is why I am such a fan of grieving! I am not just naturally a miserable person (better not ask my dh about that one!).

gonepearshaped thanks for your kind words. Wherever you go in the world you can still talk to us and, yes, I agree it is easier to talk to people on MN than in real life! About this at least. Are you Italian? I am not it is just my name after the hugely elegant greyhounds - which I like to (mistakenly) think are just like me!

Hippy, Gum, Frosty, Rainbow, Rowing, Alba, Jolly and all*

PS I feel good, I can?t say more as at the moment my moods are so up and down I need to check that I really am feeling what I am feeling! No, am not pregnant, although dd keeps kissing my tummy so people probably think I am! I realise every time I get so bl*dy upset that it is my hormones, not really how I feel. So these last few months since our failed treatment I have felt like crp a few days each month but the days pop up now and again so I never know where I am. I think I am what is called peri-menopausal! Anyway, whatever it is my two herbalie friends, Ms Agnaus Castus and Ms Evening Primrose, do not seem to be helping! I just need to keep reminding myself that the bleakness is not real life at all and once I have had a cry I feel so much better!

Hello, hello lovely ladies!

I still can't keep up! In fact since I've gone back to work fulltime I have got worse. I catch a snap shot in time with everyone's progress but by the time I log on again, you've all moved on and I've missed a great chunk. As long as you all know that I do care but I often miss the boat in terms of congratulating and sympathising with you all...... and sometimes I just miss the event entirely.

hairy - I've just seen your thread about the oldest mothers. That was smart thinking! Makes very cheering reading. Thank you.

I'm waiting for SWI when DP comes home from a work dinner. Bless him, he's always amenable. In theory it should be AF tomorrow or thereabouts but my periods are all over the place and I've got EWM so we may as well go for it - you never know! IVF will start after AF whenever she decides to arrive.

Smiles, hugs and biscuits!

xx

GPS - conscious I didn't comment on your post, largely because I didn't have anything informed to add . But I am sorry if the tests are making you feel a bit bleak. Hope you get some more positive views/feelings soon.

I'm a bit of a convert to acupuncture. It MAY be coincidence, but my spotting/brown CM has stopped exactly since my treatment on Tuesday... had some in the morning before I went, and nowt since? Maybe coincidence, and who knows what it all means anyway .

Glad you went linda - I would be exactly the same, wondering what I'd missed if I hadn't gone.

Italian birthstone for September is coral I think. Have been considering getting some to mark my babies (though no spare cash at the mo) but am concerned I might end up with a very heavy pendant like Mr T... (black humour). Would need chrysoprase for DS, coral and aquamarine for MMCs and amethyst for current pg...

Frosti good to hear from you - keep us posted.

Diege hope you had a good night ...

hippy how are the strawberries? x

wave to all... where has the first half of the yesr gone!!??

Frosty Hello, hope all is well.

Jollster I found this on line at >
September Birthstone poem - the Sapphire
"A maiden born when autumn leaves
Are rustling in September's breeze,
A Sapphire on her brow should bind;
To bring her joy and peace of mind."

Or another site says blue topaz or tanzanite, for December it is turquoise (according to some websites). My little embies if they had made it would have been born in December. Of course the one I wanted to freeze could have been born at anytime if it had all worked out (if this is not too weird I know it would probably have been June probably - which is moonstone or alexandrite or according to another website it is pearl) but I don?t think I would go as far as getting anything for my unsuccessful embies, only for my miscarriage. I know everyone does things differently!

Diege, Gum, Hippy, Alba and all greetings.

For me, it is still quite up in the air but I am feeling OK. Still wrestling with fertility treatment verses adoption verses just stopping as a family of three.

Watching a fab programme called 'Big meets Bigger' it is very good and I hope it will be the wake up call I need for loosing weight (just put some chocolate in the bin as I was watching it!!)

Love to all.

Hi everyone,
I'm just popping in to do a big (Mexican?) wave.
Actually one person doing a Mexican wave looks a bit like somebody trying to dry their deodorant.
We are off to the park, but will come back later and post what we are up to and catch up.

Hi all. Welcome back rowing good to see you again.

rainbow you have gone quiet - are you ok. Perhaps you are just off chatting to other mums to be. Please pop back and tell me you are alright.

love to all.

Just got a tiny bit of egg white so may have to begin project 'seduce hubbie'.

Hairy joins in mexican wave and high fives everyone.

gonepearshaped so sorry to hear your news.

Just letting you know AF came today, which is great news. I phoned the private hospital to book a tube test for next week, but they fitted me in this lunch time!

Ovaries are fine, womb and cervix are fine, and all consistent with good egg reserve, no early menopause, and good follicles.

Left tube is fine, but right tube is blocked, so as the corpus luteum detected during my MC was on right side, it looks like the sperm got up the tube, fertilized the egg, but couldn't get back down.

The really great news is that the consultant says I can TTC right away, and start back on folic acid straight away!

He says there is no evidence at all for waiting three months, and that the metho will be all clear from my system already as the injection is low dose, and the data is based on those who take it regularly for other conditions! And this guy is one of the top specialist consultants in Wales He was so very, very lovely and helpful!

I run the risk of another ectopic if I try again without intervention. However, I have very clear ov pain so I will know when I ovulate on left, and can SWI to my hearts content when that happens!

I'm seeing GP on Thurs to see about a laparoscopy to see if they can sort out the blockage, and if I want I can go straight for IVF (although that seems a bit extreme and I'd have to pay through the nose for it because of my age).

I feel really happy today - all back to normal and at last I know what's gone on, and I know there are no terrible abnormailities

I'm so very glad I went today - it feels like such a relief!

Am deffo avoiding a right side pregnancy at all costs - I never want to have to go through all of that again.

gonepearshaped - hi, just wanted to check if you are monitoring for ovulation signs or not, and if your day 21 test was just done on day 21 or if it was 7 days post what you thought ovulation? The reason I ask is because, the day 21 test is not supposed to be done just on day 21, it is supposed to be done between 6 and 9 days post ovulation, if your cycles have become longer, you may not have ovulated until after day 21,,,, am I making sence here? I am trying to encourage you to think about if you could accutually be ovulating still but later in your cycle? It might be that you should get your day 21 test done on day 28 of your cycle perhaps, depending on when you ovulate.

Hi everyone else, I am doing ok, scan monday and trying not to think about it.

Hi everyone. Rowing, nice to see you again.Looking forward to hearing al your news. Frosty, nice to catch up with you too.
Rainbow, I hope the scan goes well for you.

Not much happening in my neck of the woods.I'm feeling really tired as my DS is teething again and keeping me up. In the middle of the night I ask myself, "what are you thinking?Why would you want to keep doing this by having another?" But in the light of day I always feel differently, and maybe the next baby will sleep through the night and have an easy teething time?

My DH has just started his 2 week break and the kids are all home for the school break. So that will be good, Charlie loves the distraction. We've planned a little trip to the city, so the LO can be babysat and DH and I can go to the cinema and dinner.Something we haven't done for years!Oh, and with a bit of luck this trip is around the time of O(but who knows, last time it was 6 days later than expected)so we can get some good SWI in too!

Hairy, I'm so pleased to hear you can start ttc again! Fantastic news.

Hi again,
I haven't managed to read everything, but just wanted to say sorry to hear your news Hippy, but you have moved on so quickly and sound as if you are raring to go, so I don't want to drag you down. Next time is the one!
Jollster congratulations on your news!
Hairy whoop whoop, [quickly runs to other side of Hairy to continue Mexican wave]
Gum sorry to hear about your sister. It is sad, but it is hard to see what other options she had under the circumstances.
Good news about having a positive opk.
Italian you are still here? What are your thoughts at the moment?
Frosticle don't worry about getting left behind, the internet is great at making us feel guilty for stepping away for a few minutes. Impossible to keep up without resigning from your job and giving up all outside interests.

I am gearing up to book flights for FET no.2. Not feeling at all hopeful, but can't very well just leave those frozen embryos in the freezer.
DP wants us all to go together, but it would really eat into our budget and we need to keep money in case this fails and we need to look at plan c.
We really need to decide soon because the prices of flights is going up every day we delay.
I kind of want to go straight for the donor option, but it costs more than double using our embryos, so makes no financial sense.
Still not feeling it.
I've been on the hut of doom a bit, because of feeling negative and not wanting to drag anyone else down into my mud.
I wonder if I can put off going until August?? Can't really, oh poo!

Just wanted to say good luck to you rowing x

Rowing wish you all the best for FET 2 and please don't worry, I am sure it will work eventually.

I am officially mad, actually felt so up and down this week I did a pregnancy test. Negative of course.

Still undecided about what to do for the best but DH and I will chat about it this week and see what we want to do.

All the best