Ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[randomimposter]

Just to start us off.

May this be a happy and lucky thread for all of us.

beattie not sure about the CM. Have you drunk a lot of fluids lately. When I was younger I had lots of that pleasant word - discharge. Turned out I had a cervical erosion. (which only means that you have different cells on your cervix - nothing scary. they likened it to the difference between the skin on your lips and the inside of you mouth - if that makes sense. I had it quorterised (sp?)

But I did have that white creamy discharge all the time not just at certain times - so probably not related to your question at all. i think unless it's smelly it isn't a problem. HTH. xx

diege I was quite looking forward to the tabs as I had convinced myself they were gonna make me thin and full of energy . But will just have to see how the next blood test goes.

The suprise is really how she gets her FSH levels down to a level where she is able to conceive after being told there is no chance. Basically, VERY healthy eating (yawn yawn), yoga, and positive visualisation. it is a good read though and I would recommend it.

I'm looking at last minute trips to IOW. As soon as this house is on the market - we are getting our arses over there for a bit of holidaying research!

beattie I watched that Bouquet of barbed wire. It looked like people were having sex but that can't be right surely - no-one walked in on them at all

Beattie hmm if it's creamy white cm then that's what I get after ov if I'm pregnant...even if not I don't think it's anything sinister whatsoever, sounds perfectly normal to me!
Hippy that sounds a good read; I may well make a purchase!
Right, tea time,back later for evening drink in the snug if anyone's about

well I probably am pg because E (acupuncturist) told me not to get pg. sod's law.

uh-oh BB you'll be in trouble with E... , but who cares!!!!!????

Hippy your posts make me larf A LOT (even the ones you don't intend as funny!!) LOVE you :)

phew, I have just been reading back through, only away a couple of days, and I have pages to read through. Suffice to say, all I can remember is nigel, crisps, mrslucy next wednesday and hippy having good and bad news..... my brain can't cope. I will have to go back and read all the bits I missed and work out who/what is nigel!!!!!

Anyway, sorry to hear af flippin arrived hippy, but hope it was not a cp but your body doing the right thing by you (although I think you should get your doc to give you the thyriod tablets sooner as it might just be related to your m/c's?

My update is that I got bfn's after the evap line test, so clearly my 19 day cycle was just a messed up one, but it is nice to have a month where I am not pregnant! was working on the diet this week and gained a lb! I am so bloated it is unreal, so I am going to have to up the diet/exercise to try again for next week.

Oh yes, who said we could not have prawn-cocktail crisps???? Skips are my fav, so please can I bring a few packets to the snug?????

No Galwaygirl you cannot bring prawn cocktail crisps into the snug, you will stink it out!!!!! Would thai chilli do you instead?Bummer about the bfns, but at least yoou know where you'reup to now (not much of asilver lining I know)
Beattie I wouldn't stress too much if you are indeed pregnant; you're right though,it would be sod's law but a vert nice outcome too
Right,have finished by drink (caffiene free diet coke..) so see you all in the morning. Don't forget to turn the oil burner off!

skips? vomit
prawn cocktail? double vomit...

Hippy you said you dh might take a turn in the pushchair, but maybe, look on the bright side; he would be saving up his energy for all this shagging! Glad the second thyroid test was better.

Gum I have ordered that Julia book, eagerly awaiting its arrival.

jollster

Galwaygirl I had a bad experience with skips, I was sick on them on a school coach trip Brighton when I was 16 (is this the point where someone say hey I know you!) and just 20 years later I got over that and started liking them. Likewise with Southern Comfort drunken night at 16 and just 20 years later love it! Now just waiting for my bad experience with brandy in Oz to be a far slung memory!

Diege sorry you did not get your way at work, but nice that you can at least try and call the shots!

Sassy hope you have got some more fancy furniture!

Beattie I will be in the snug checking on my lava lamp!

Re tasty Jeffrey in Burn Notice - He makes listening devices wit the mobile phones, which is funny 'cos that is what they are! But you know what I mean, bugs, he's a spy, a sexy spy and yes, I do know it is not real life!

Jollster sorry, should have said - how are you doing, thinking of you.

We are having a bit of a debate on the assisted conception thread (on mumsnet) about the immune system and how sometimes this can stop embryos implanting. There is also the possibility that they can cause miscarriage.

I am sure you have all read about this on mumsnet and in other places but in case some of the links or ideas or book references would be useful, it may be an idea to take a look at it on

I really don't know how relevant it is or whether it is old hat for those who have sadly had a number of miscarriages.

I know you guys have mentioned baby aspirin etc and I would not recommend anyone taking anything without checking it out but it may be worth looking up some info.

Please remember that most of my research has been into IVF related things so it may not be relevant.

There is some information on autoimmune testing at

www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=82741.0

and

humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/17/3/539

although I have not read it all, this is vaguely helpful to me.

Night, night all.

Autumn has arrived in Scotland... so hope no one minds me throwing a log on the fire...

Does anyone remember those Scampi and Lemon knick knacks? They were yummy!

So, where were we... yeah.... no one is pg? How the hell have we managed that!

I'm on cd11, so with regard to the EMSp
cd8 - swi - tick
cd10 - swi - tick
cd10 opk - tick

It was negative, and I was hugely devastatd. As soon as you get a pos on the EMSp, you're meant to swi 3 days in a row! So if I get a pos tonight, that's cd10, cd11, c12, adn cd13. Could everyone please pray very hard that it's a neg, so that I can have a night off?

As you all know, Toni frightens me too much to consult her... maybe someone else could pop round and look at my copy... When you lot talk about egg white mucus... my memory is you're meant to see if it is viscous enough to "string" between your thum and finger....and if it does you're fertile? Have I remember that correcty?

sassy yes egg white CM is stretchy. It dosn't have to stretch for 20cm like in the delectable photos. As long as it stretched without breaking I count it as EW.

If you do get a pos on an OPK you MUST get off your arse (or on it ) and swi - I will not take no for an answer. For gawd sake don't eat those bloody scampi fries before hand though - blimey they were stinkers

italian I thought you were blanking jolly for a minute there Thanks for all the info - I will have a read. You, madam are a mine of information

jolly don't say lovely things like that to me when I am feeling tearful - blub blub blub - but thanks matey! Glad you are amused. Not sure what's funny about me banging on about my various illnesses but it does bod well for my desire to be a novelist (at least Jolly will buy my book )

So, why am i feeling tearful???? I can't say for defo - probably just a huge hormonal crash but also.... I have been thinking a lot about my reasons for wanting a 3rd child, since your comment yesterday muchlove (don't blame yourself for my tearful state though please).

I was walking back from school this morning and I was just wondering am I just trying to re-capture a wonderful time from my younger days. I got pregnant easily, loved being pregnant and had almost no problems at all. I enjoyed giving birth (not the pain but you know what I mean), and I could weep now just thinking about breastfeeding my children.

So, my question is am I just in love with the idea of doing all that again. The fact is I still do get pregnant quite easily (5 months is the longest it has ever taken me) BUT I can't say the pregnancies are going well this year and even if I got a decent embryo I could well have a difficult pregnancy due to my poor old aged body not being what it was. There is nothing to say that it would go as well as before and there is no guarantee that I'd end up with a beautiful healthy baby like I did both times before.

I wonder if I should be focusing on whats happening in my life now, trying to move, my son going to senior school next year, my youngest son coping with his dyslexia. All these things should be on my mind - not bloody OPK's.

Lastly, the woman I worked with who used to drive me mad going on about her freakin' bump gave birth on 8/9/10 (the day my AF arrived - such a cool date) and I felt pleased for her and obviously a wee bit envious but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

I don't know if I am just being totally mad and selfish to keep trying for a healthy embryo. Up until a while ago I thought my family was complete and now I feel incomplete...

arrghh I'm so so sorry to waffle on, I just feel so weird today.

oh Hippy, I'm sorry you are feeling sad. strangely I had similar thoughts this morning - why do i want another? and do i really want another? I'm not sure whether to stop trying tbh and stop thinking about cramping, spotting, cm, temps, swi etc etc.

So sorry, no help.

I think if it wasn't proving so hard to conceive/keep a baby I would do it, but you're right, all the effort does take you away from RL somewhat.

I'm sure it's just a blip for both of us though and we'll get our bfps very soon!

i went to the dr and he actually gave me progesterone pessaries . My dr is very unknowledgeable and uninterested in such matters (he lists his main interest as sports injuries) so I wasn't expecting much, but he prescribed it within seconds!

beattie Glad the silly old fart caved in. Hope the prog does it's job.

So it's not just me then.... I think with me it's just that I'm scared of another MC. Every time I go to the loo at the moment and am confronted with blood I think "Thank God, it's just a period." I know it would all be worth it and I would love another one but I think it's different for me from say italian, or jolly who only have the one child and want a sib for their child. If my boys hadn't known about the baby we lost in Feb I wouldn't feel like I owe them one so much.... arrgghhh.

Also, I feel ill today (face all flushed, nose all blocked) and I can't imagine looking after a new born and feeling this shit at the same time. But I must have done it before....

Oh Hippy, SAHMness does give you the time for reflection... which can be brilliant, but can also make you confused. Totally get what you're saying. Only you (cos you is a Smartie) knows the answer. I had a similar think after MMC#2, when it struck me that I had been so focused on TTC#2 since DS turned 1 that I hadn't been smelling the roses with him, and not enjoying every day with him as maybe I should. (In fact having the enforced break from TTC by the acupuncturist was very useful in that regard). I soon got over it though when I started TTC again . Dunno what I'm saying, but sending you a big squeeze from the south coast (grey today here btw).

BB that's great about the doc... E always very pessimistic with me about GP response to that (in her experience with clients I guess). I know you said you are fairly near St Ann's Wells.... you're not at 7DialsMedCen are you?? That would be TOO freaky...

Hi to everyone. DS poorly today (episodes of projectile vomiting first thing) so we're tucked up at home reading books and now he's watching ITNG... Must make some bland lunch for him, and open yet more pate for me .

XP Hippy... distracted typing today. Sorry you feel off colour too :(

Sorry junior Jolly has projectile vomitting - bless him. hugs from Auntie Hippy.

Thanks for your words of wisdon Jolly. So sorry I said you and italian only had one child. That sounds horrid and not how I meant it to - every child is a fabulous gift, I should have sad who currently have one child. Sorry ladies. xxx

Hippy - Can understand what you are saying, if I am honest there have been a few times over the last few m/c's that I have serious doubts about why I am putting myself through this, and trying to focus on what I have been blessed with already. I am not at a place to say stop or not as I still struggle with the question myself. However, you are in the hormonal af arriving stage, and I would recommend not making decisions at this point! Hope you get some tlc from your family and feel better soon.

Have to go but will try to pop back soon.

Oh Hippy you big fart... you know I didn't read anything into what you wrote. Funny, maybe I would from someone I didn't know, but not from you.

I often wonder about my need/desire/yearn for another baby. Is it about giving DS a sibling? Is it more about being conventional (Jeez I hope not)? Is it about not looking like a failure (I KNOW that's ridiculous, and I am not suggesting that anyone with only one child or indeed with no children is a failure)... but I have lots of hang-ups about not trying lots of things for fear of failing or not being very good at it (childhood thing I think)...Am wibbling and making little sense so will pop off and gaze at my navel..

Jolls I'm not at that practice!

It is good that I have got it I suppose, but the doc didn't know anything about it - he googled it while I was there (I was worried a mn post would come up!) so I have no idea what dose to take and when. I am wondering whether to shove it in now as I may have ov'ed earlier this week. But then again may be having anovulatory cycle or summat.

See! I need to stop thinking about this stuff.

Hello to everyone else - hope the smep is going well Sassy! Sounds like I'll be on it too next week. (dh has now done an about turn and wants to know all details of fertile times etc, not sure whether this is a good idea! SMEP will terrify him!).

Gum you're in the 2ww aren't you? any symptoms?

Hey Girls
HIPPY You know hun it's most probably your hormones aswell - but this has defo been a few months of soulsearching for me. If the 'powers that be' told me I would eventually hold another child in my arms I would sell my soul tomorrow for it but there is just no guarantee. If I was in my 30's (even 39) I would be able to take the pressure off myself a bit. But I think the whole thing is Super Stressful enough let alone bringing age into it and the fact that every month that passes is another month older. I do everything possible I eat correctly, I keep my weight at a good level, I take expensive vitamins, I only drink during AF or pre OV (and that's only an occassional glass of wine) I don't smoke.....but really none of that makes any difference if you get a good egg. I didn't do any of the above in my younger years but I did smoke back then and drank a fair amount and the word 'BABY' only had to be whispered and I was PG.
If this was any other situation in life i.e a relationship ....I would have walked away ages ago because I am not in the business of 'Setting myself up for a fall' month after month it just does nothing for your state of mind.
Hitting 40 didn't really bother me at the time I sailed through it - but this is actually much harder for me and is making me feel every bit my 43 years .
I have stupidly held on to the words of a PHSYCHIC who told me not to give up on being a mum and that she saw a baby (girl aswell - had to be didn't it) in my arms described her personality and everything. If you knew me in real life I am such the sceptic I don't usually believe in all that but I was obviously vunerable and wanted to be given hope and now I just feel like an old fool...... (there's no fool like an old fool.. eh)
I think I may take next month off and just see what I feel and then just take one step at a time BUT I really don't know if I can actually go back on the pill or prevent just yet as that is then the end of it for me and I'm not strong enough to do that just now....
The other thing is aswell my sister is a few years older than me and already she is skipping periods now and noticing changes in her cycles she was always reg as clockwork and highly fertile so I spose that's my benchmark.....
This has also taken it's toll on my marriage
aswell and that is far to precious a territory for me to allow any breakdowns (my DH and I are pretty strong together as a whole)but it is impossible for them to take on board the deep needs/feelings a woman has when it involves a child... my whole life revolves around TTC ...The beginning of the month hopeful happy no pressure, the middle of the month timing/testing getting it right trying to catch the egg..the 2WW awful symptom spotting wishing the days away then testing too early and getting a NEG then all you have to look forward to is AF..Fucking Hell it's relentless...I guess if I'm meant to be blessed with another child then it won't pass me by but to what detriment ??? How much sadness and angst must I go through ??
Ok I've just read through this and it sounds way to heavy for a friday afternoon
sorry girls..... but it's my heart laid out there and I guess I needed to talk to some who know how I feel.... but I promise I will put my face on and bring some goodies and meet you in the snug later after all it's friday evening soon and I'm home alone (well kids are with me)and its the UBBrother final and Davina will be crying ......blah bah... I think I might bring my Ipod and play some 80's tunes and we can remember school disco's way back when .......

muchlove to you all xx

Oh my god thatlast novello took me so long to write that have xsd several posts....
BEATTIE I took progesterone for my pgncy in June started taking it as soon as I got a possy at 10 dpo I believe. But have you asked dr to test your progesterone levels (bloodtest 7dpo) because that's the only way of knowing if you need it or not. Or the other way is having a monitered cycle and they can actually see if the corpus luteum is producing enough progesterone. I just asked my doc to print me up a couple of 21day blood test requests and then I ring and get the results 3days later. (Must admit tho my Dr didn't use to offer any help until I went to see a specialist and now anything the specialised tells me to ask for my gp obliges without a question. I don't even have to make an appt now I just send request in on a note and he leaves it for me on reception. When my BFP lines started fading last month I requested 2 HCG bloodtest to be done 48 hrs apart and 2 progesterone bloodests aswell but did'nt get to use them coz started bleeding but I now have them and cn use them anytime in the future

lso forgot to say yesday HIPPY I REALLY LOVE THE ISLE OF WIGHT !!!! I have many fond memories of hols there as a kid its lovely what a great place to live x

OMG. sorry if my mood is infecious muchlove. I didn't mean to put a downer on the whole thread.

I completely agree with what you've said.

I am gonna try hard to concentrate on this move for a while but will also obviously try to shag at the right time as well. Maybe I just need another focus. I can't be in fear of another MC forever, but I do need to acknowledge to myself that it is a possibility.

I hope you're ok muchlove and that it helped to unload a bit. It definitely helped me . See you in the snug for a drink later if I can get on the laptop. xx

ps. jolly glad I didn't offend - I know that you know what I mean when I say the wrong things

I think probably share the same sentiments with you Hippy,Muchlove,Beattie than I'd care to admit.It was onlylast night that I started thinking do I really want to live my life lurching from one month to the next,but I do strongly beleive that these feelings are entirely normal. We question the most inconsequential things (should I have bought those shoes in both colours?? Why do I keep on ordering the organic fruit and veg box when I chuck it out every week etc etc, and then berate ourselves for our choices, so to be expected that we will go back and forth like a demented yoyo on what will have life-changing consequences.
I have also been thinking of having a break so I can have some botox done . But when to do it???!!! Think it's ok if you've had it done,then get preg (well, I know it is) but not so good to have it done when you've had that bfp...Hmmm,will have to think through that one.
Have ordered in the 80s vinyls (I think Morrisey should suit tonight), lemon and scampi fries (mmmm) and some cream soda syrup for the soda stream