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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Am i the only person who thinks this?

134 replies

PinkiePoo · 24/02/2010 07:52

Hello all...

My partner and I are trying for a baby and in our first month of trying. AF is due on Sat, fingers crossed i don't get to see it.

But i cant help but think this is going to be a difficult ride....I have never thought the prospect of having children ever be a difficult one but now i have started trying, I am now wondering if i am going to find it hard to conceive.

Am i the only one who thinks this? Or am i not the only paranoid being on Mumsnet??

x

OP posts:
Yorky · 24/02/2010 08:49

Good luck for Saturday!

You are far from being the only paranoid being on MN, but if you stumble across the wrong threads in conception you'll find people who have been TTC for years, literally , which can make you even more paranoid.
I hope you're like me and conceive easily, although apparently 'normal' couples take 6-12months to conceive on average

applecharlotte · 24/02/2010 09:01

Hi - totally know what you mean. My sister and best friend got pregnant on their first go.. I'm on cycle 3 and already feel panicky. We just need to BREATHE.. i'm sure it'll happen soon. If you look at the stats is something like 80% conceive in a year which ain't bad odds GOOD LUCK.

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 24/02/2010 09:06

I know....i am thinking if AF rears its ugly head, then i am going to be paranoid and think why did it not happen, but i do have time on my side so i think i will just TRY and go with the flow!

I will keep you informed, although cramping is coming and going and skin bad, so guess that means a big ft negative.

Good luck apple......it will happen for both of us soon, i am sure :-)

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkiePoo · 24/02/2010 14:54

Well couldn't resist....did a PG Test. and a big fat NEG!!

And now full on stomach cramps :-(

OP posts:
MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird · 24/02/2010 18:20

You are SO not the only person. I have been driving myself crazy that it will never happen and we will have problems before we even started trying. We are only on month 3 but I feel like it will never happen. I keep banning myself from coming back on here and obsessing about it, but then I cant help it. And everyone says "just relax and forget about it"...if only that were possible!

cakeywakey · 24/02/2010 18:37

Rather than a difficult ride, try to see it as something that may just take a little time. Healthy couples only have something like a 20% chance of conceiving each month, it's not a given even if you get everything done in the right place at the right time .

It took me six months to fall pregnant the first time and I was getting a little obsessive about it - which wasn't very nice. A friend of mine has just had her BFP after 14 months and is over the moon. There's no telling how long it will take. Good luck everyone!

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 24/02/2010 18:42

hi, good luck with trying to conceive.

i know it is very hard but dont be disheartened if you get your period this month. it really isn't a given that anyone will get pregnant first time round.

it took me and OH 9 months before falling pregnant with ds1 and actually we had given up 'trying' after about 5 months and decided to let things just happen rather than proactively trying. we went to a fertility clinic at the start just for advice and they told us that we should try for a year before seeking help.

i hope this helps. and relax, stress wont help it happen.

Letsdoit · 24/02/2010 19:59

Keeping positive is important too!

loopylou2 · 24/02/2010 20:23

Hiya,

I have to agree- the more you think carefully about it, the biology of conception and how well-timed everything has to be... well then the more impossible it seems.

I found last time that it was exactly when I chilled out and stopped thinking about it that I conceived- after about 4 or 5 months of TTC.

Good luck!

LittleOne76 · 24/02/2010 22:08

We're not TTC just yet but will later this year and I worry all the time that I won't be able to get pregnant. I worry about my age (32), I worry about having been on the pill, I worry about having come off the pill and will things go back to normal. I get AF and worry that maybe I didn't ovulate. I worry about my irregular cycles (which I think can be quite normal if just off the pill). I scare myself sometimes when thinking about possibly getting pregnant and then all the stuff i could worry about through pregnancy! My partner is very good at putting things back in perspective for me when I go a bit crazy. As in it's something that is really special and is something to look forward to and isn't something that you can organise and plan for to the nth degree (which is something I like to do). I do know all of this but sometimes it's hard to not focus on things not going right and lose perspective..!

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 25/02/2010 09:48

Yes my partner and I had a good chat last night about it. Its harder for me as he has a daughter from his previous marriage, and in moments of absolute craziness i say 'you don't care as much because you have what you already want'.....not very nice i know and totally feeling sorry for myself. He said last night we have to relax and have fun, which i know he is right. Just feeling like an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. One minute in tears, the next really angry.

Ha ha,oh well glad to know i am not the only one feeling it. Congrats to all those who conceived and the rest of us.......FINGERS CROSSED :-)

OP posts:
applecharlotte · 25/02/2010 19:51

Pinkie - just wanted to say sorry to hear that AF arrived..although only attempt one so don't be too down heartened. Glad you had a good chat with OH. I have everything crossed for you next month

I'm in my fertile window and OH is going out with work for the next 3 nights in a row so I'm not hopeful for this month either. Grrr.

cakeywakey · 25/02/2010 20:19

Good luck in TTC next month PinkiePoo and everyone else - if you haven't seen it already, I found Zita West's 'Guide to Getting Pregnant' book really helpful to better understand my cycle and fertility. It's good no nonsense advice. www.amazon.co.uk/Zita-Wests-Guide-Getting-Pregnant/dp/0007173717/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267 129034&sr=8-1

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 25/02/2010 23:44

I have not had my AF yet.....due on sat. But did a test and BFN, and got the horrible 'due on' tell tell signs :-(

So think i was unlucky this month.

def give that book a whirl though :-) x x

OP posts:
applecharlotte · 26/02/2010 10:45

Oh! Sorry didn't read your post properly. Well theres still hope yet.. keep us posted x

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 01/03/2010 09:32

oh thats a apple that he is going away....but there is always next month (grrrrr hate that saying).

I will keep you posted and you must too, although it can be disheartening, it is also very exciting times for both us x

OP posts:
CCBloom · 02/03/2010 16:43

PinkiePoo - you're not the only one! I fell pregnant in December while on the pill but sadly miscarried in February. My OH thinks that because I fell pregnant despite all odds then that it'll just happen when we decide to start to try. We have now waited 1 month and AF returned yesterday so I'm ready to try again but he wants to wait until June, I think because he wants to fully quit smoking but to be honest he isn't giving me any real reasons as far as I can see. I am just in this state of concern that we should start to ttc ASAP in case there are any problems. I am 30 and just feel like I need to know that I am going to be able to have a baby. It is all the uncertainty about how easily and quickly it will happen that worries me.

BessieBoots · 02/03/2010 17:30

Good luck! Word of advice- My 1st DS was concieved on the 1st cycle, DS2 took 18 months. I bought some ovulation kits from a cheap high street pharmacy, which told me that I wasn't ovulating. Major panic, then, of course...
It was the kit. I was ovulating- I got pg that very cycle!

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 02/03/2010 19:59

CCBloom (loving the name, any reference to beaches perhaps?).......i am exactly the same. Well my partner and I are aimed and ready, and although I am only 26, he is 34....so i would love it to happen soon.

Maybe speak to DH again, as if it is a concern for you then surely what is a few months difference??

Bessie - THANK YOU. Still waiting for AF, but i think it has been just over 6 months since coming off pill and AF has been pretty erratic, so think this might be the case again. if so, a little trip to the docs me thinks!! x x

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 02/03/2010 20:24

it's funny, when I started down this road and started posting on Mumsnet in October 2007 I never for one moment thought I would still be trying in 2010! I think you have to try to be positive as there's every chance that you will be fine. for every one of me there are 3 others who get pregnant with little trouble and statistically you are much more likely to be one of them.

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 03/03/2010 07:58

But since coming off the pill, my periods are irregular, really bad mood swings and bad skin, which makes me think I have a hormone imbalance. I am now 4 days late, but i just cant get excited because i am pretty sure it is just late again like before, except this is my first cycle since trying.

:-(

OP posts:
CCBloom · 03/03/2010 10:38

PinkiePoo yes my user name is in reference to Beaches and you're the first person to pick up on that! It's actually my initials too so works well on both fronts. I always feel really reassured coming on here and seeing how other people are experiencing similar emotions. I do think I overwhelm my OH at times as this is something I want to talk about so much and I have to try and restrict myself so he doesn't think I'm obsessed so coming on here is a good outlet for all my thoughts. Like 'DuelingFanjo* says for the majority of people I think it's something like 80% will conceive within first year of trying but a little part of me can't help but wonder about being in the other 20%.

Also PinkiePoo have you thought about charting your basal body temperature? I've just come off the pill so I trying to understand my cycle and when my fertile days are so this really helps. Only need to buy a £3 digital thermometer, take your temperature when you first wake up and print a graph off from the internet and you're good to go. I have started to do this now so that when we start to ttc for real I know my cycle well. It helped me accurately predict AF's arrival this month.

Original poster
PinkiePoo · 03/03/2010 10:46

Oh really, so if your body temp goes up, then what does this mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkiePoo · 03/03/2010 11:08

Couldn't resist, just did a test and BFN........So i am guessing a trip to the doctors then!!

OP posts:
jumpingjackhash · 03/03/2010 11:17

Hi Pinkie - just came across this thread and am in a similar position - we're on our 2nd month of trying and while I'm still pretty relaxed about it (it will happen when it happens, kind of thing), dh is already stressing that his 'balls don't work'! Am due on early/mid next week and trying not to get too impatient!

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