The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

[CUNextTuesday]

C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

Lyra I meant to say, am keeping everything crossed for your dad.

Ed you should say SWI - shagging with intent - but fucking is also fine.

BESH - Barren Evil Selfish Hag

BESH = Barren Evil Selfish Hags
BOC = Bundle of Cells
BDing = instant boak, was there ever a more hideous word invented? I have similar allergies to all the DS/DP/DD nonsense.

Huzzah - If EdPonce is really only 30, I'm no longer the babyBESH!

I am only 30 Casper. So you've not been the babyBESH for ages. I just keep quiet about it in case anyone threw me out for being too nearly thirty.

Oh look. Big Super Head of All Things Boss is 2 desks away. I may want to go do something else.

Awesome, I've been stuck in a meeting since the crack of dawn your time and I come back to find the newbie (Eadwacer) and our resident Barbara Cartland Her Royal Tweeness Cameltoe are in the throes of bumdogsex. And then iggy showed up, true to form!

I like emoticons and I cannot lie.

Congratulations Bessie Cameltoe/muser/weewee POAS!

Love the fact that the newbie has already become EdPonce. Yes, you can play. Esp with the Marquis de Sade line, which is camp-typing-genius.

Just to make the fred vom:

babydust to all

Muser me too re: DH/DS/BDSM etc. "Darling husband"? Fucking cunts. It doubly irks me when it's in Relationships and it starts off with "My DH has been sticking his cock in the au pair and my DS (16) says I need to back off because I look like a middle-aged, Laura-Ashley totin' hag". Twats. And wankers.

Ah! Barren Evil Selfish Hag! Immediately conjures images of a woman who know the difference between a brooch and fur-pin and how to mix a dirty martini, and hasn't worn a kitten-heel since 1999. TRULY I FEEL I HAVE ARRIVED.

skihorse I can't help myself. The heart wants what it wants.

Now I must STUDY.

BDSM? Isn't that the really interesting section of YouPorn?

cameltoe Are we vomming through the use of the word "babydance" or through the thought of your nekkid dancing?

VAG you menkul - you are pregnant. Are you going to do what our cheggers has done and refuse to buy a pram until you're in the delivery room?

camelina I does love the use of the werd fred....

I despise ANY twee acronyms at all - plus the use of any slightly cutsey werds for anyfing

So fight me if you wanna use them - and I haz huge tits that will win any fight without me even trying.

VAG I am still having these wobbles. Because I went to the gym both days at the weekend and managed 20 mins on treadmill for 1st time since diffment (albeit ridiculously slowly) I decided yesterday evening that I must have had an mmc. I then spent all evening asleep on the sofa, and threw up this morning when I put my skirt on (who knew what an effect waistbands could have!) so am back to thinking all is maybe ok again.

It?s normal to be menkul, I promise.

Good lucks lyrapops and yay BESHIE123!

Hello Edponce and welcome.

iggs my tits is also huge. I reckon I've gone to an A-cup.

Yay Bessie, that's fab news

And vag, so glad it seems you're suffering continued menkulness and nothing worse, long may it continue.

Welcome to the madhouse Eadwacer, sounds like you'll fit right in. Whether this is a good thing or not you'll have to decide!

Should I be admitting that I too am a baby BESH at only 30?

The world seems to be full of babies at the mo - was cuddling a friend's 5 week old last week and being v concerned at the idea of people giving birth to babies 1.5 times her size (she was prem so is only about 6lb). I mean, how???? Then there was a v cute 8 week old granddaughter around yesterday who didn't even scream at my very bad flute playing (don't ask...).

I bet I end up being one of those women with their own heartbeat monitor who checks every 2 minutes!

My quest to POAS hit a bump as went for lunch with colleague instead.

BESSIE fan-bloody-tastic news, well done you!! Am liking this fred very much so far...

VAG glad all seems good. No harm in a scan to put your mind at ease. Is your GP going to refer you or are you having to pay privately?

Welcome Eadwacer. Just googled your name to find out more about dirty poem...I was disappointed. I am a poetry thicko, it makes my head hurt. What are you studying?

POAS POAS POAS POAS POAS Muser.

Nice

Loving all the baby BESH action. Thanks for waiting till I'd just (well, a couple of weeks ago) turned 31 to come out of the closet.

muser ref heart monitor - what is wrong with that? . Yes, I do have one, and use it one or two times a week, but whenever I can't find the baby I don't panic, I just blame SFF and tell him his child is already scared to be in the same room as him...

Oh, and POAS in the morning please. Afternoon/evening pee is futile.

Right, I'm off for a sit down with the biggest of big bosses....

Ey oop. Dad's scan showed that chemo has shrunk the secondaries enough to enable surgery. Phew. No happy ending in sight but will make do with a happy now. Thanks for crossing fingers.

Now I've got that out of the way I might have the energy for a bit of a WOOFL (day 24). Anyone with me?

Hello twinkletoes. It's "Wulf and Eadwacer". Famously non-solvable Anglo-Saxon riddles open to all sorts of interpretations including sessy ones.

I'm doing a PhD in Literature-adjacent subjects. Supposed to submit in September. The only reason I wanna get knocked up is 'cos I want to sit in my final viva panel heavily pregnant with blonde hair down to my colossal tits owing to the hormone surges, wearing a long pale blue dress and loving stroking my bump in a winsome way, periwinkle blue eyes a-glow with maternal joy.

yeah, then they can try and fail me. WIN!

Am so glad for your happy now, lyra.

Um, would you like me to shout POAS? Or would you like to describe your symptoms to the fred?

runlyrarun - oh pal, that is good news. I don't know what a WOOFL is but dang it, let's all have one. Let's have three.

Eadwacer Are you the Virgin Mary? Only wearing blue and gold does not guarantee pregnancy.

Define "Literature-adjacent", pliz.

camel - In my radiant youth I bore a passing resemblance to her good self. Less so now the booze and fags have dimmed the glow. HOwever once up the duff (tempts fates with an airy wave of her hand) I intend to exploit the passing resemblance to full effect, generally terrifying men and getting free cab rides. Disclaimer: we all know I'll just be hollow-eyed and puffy-ankled and generally gross.

Um. by literature-adjacent I mean Creative Writing. WHAT? STOP LAUGHING! IT IS A VIABLE ACADEMIC SUBJECT! IT ISSSSS!!!!!

Thanks Camel. I must confess I have never POAS'd in my life. Never. I bought some PIAPs off ebay but they're so faffy that by the time I'm thinking I can be bothered using one, the droid has arrived.

My symptoms: I did a big poo. That's it. Any good?

EdPonce, you make me laugh. A WOOFL is a week of obsessive fucking lunacy (called the 2 week wait elsewhere on MN). They generally come in twos, but I'm only having one, so I don't see why you shouldn't have three if you like.