The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

[CUNextTuesday]

C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

ead no I drink gin and swear. As does my 2 year old.

Oh my god, this must be a baybee sent from jesus to make my wedding perfect. Thanks again, ginhag. You should be a wedding planner or something, you've found my dress, my ring...

bessie darling, have it: you're earned it goddamit. On the condition at least once a year you drive your immaculate land rover two hundred yards to Waitrose and park in a disabled space.

I know it's tough dude but I didn't make the rules.

Please for vag to poke her head around the door. I accept she cannot wave due to her arms being tied down.

besh glad to be of service.

ead in truth,the small one doesn't swear. He does drink gin though.

I am missing emoticons. Are we too cool for them now?

cass was good. They are lovely and funny and perhaps less evil than me...

Oh bollocks the show is open...laters biatches

cas I not make it - i useless... but am still ill and grumpy..

I'm evil too .

No, igster had BESHfail, vag is strapped to a gurney somewhere, screaming gently. I had many boozes and we discussed all of you bastards at great length.

(We love you all, though).

As for emoticons,

gin don't ruin it for me: I was looking forward to explaining to any future offspring of mine that swearwords are merely victims of cultural connotations and there's nothing wrong with saying to "Granny can you take me to the toilet, I need to shit".

Now I am going to a) get on with some work. Or b) watch Nurse Jackie. or c) wonder why my fucking belly button still hurts like someone's shoving a hot marble in there for kicks.

beshie Have I made it up in my head that you have ideological objections to Facecrack?

idealcamel sort of - facebook feels creepy to me, I don't like it [pout]

I am Tamsin! Am strapped to a gurney and ready for lesbian lurve action

VagTam How are you doing today?

Vag - like a pregnant lesbian caterpillar?

...you ain't seen me,right...

besh do what I did n make a fakebook..

Am ok - coming out of denial very slowly (like a pregnant lesbian sloth in fact) - but I won't really believe anything until I see it for myself.

Who outlawed emoticons? [squirming on gurney emoticon]

Gin I can't bring myself to do it.

It's cos vag is tamsin that I ended up being Jordan (scrubs,not scrubber...)

how cryptic was that?????

I just nearly told someone to fuck off. God I love my job.

Have you seen this

Some poster had a go at me yesterday for calling her a tit (even though she was being one for wanting to call her child Guinevere. I mean, come on). I am getting concerned at this insistence on swear free threads.

Anyway, no swearing? What?

I saw that thread earlier and just wanted to leap on it and shout BUMSEX.

Am pretty sure that you can't prevent sweary Mumsnet. Thank fuck for that, eh?

vag I'm so glad you're coming around to the idea, honestly - give it a week and you'll be falling face-down in your dinner and need to be carried up the stairs at 8pm - then you might believe!

Bessie I'm perfectly fine with the swearing, it's the cunting ignorance which is fucking me right off.

bored. bored. bored.

gin anyone? can't be bothered with washing up glasses so i'll just stick some straws in the bottles.

I decided not to count days this month, so i have only a vague idea of where i am and so now i think i am into those two weeks of imagining that i really do have lots of symptoms. Bah!

Hello BESHters,

Hello to everyone, after a bit of a hiatus away from the board. I have been doing a bit of cyber stalking in the meantime, and it's astonishing to observe the highs and lows of this merry-go-round of a thread from a bit of a distance...no wonder a container load of gin pulls up outside the door of the palace each week...it's the only thing that prevents that tenuous link with sanity from finally snapping!

Has anyone undertaken a palace babywin statistical analysis yet...or is that a bit 'all aboard the ttc bus' for these parts?

I feel as though I have been away a bit too long to do physical violence to anyone...it would seem a tad presumptuous and overfamiliar perhaps...?

chochochochocho I have missed you and was thinking about you this morning as I drove to work.

Statistically speaking, those who exchange emails with Cosmosis are most likely to get diffed, also those who have been trying for between 11 months and 2 weeks and 12 months and 2 weeks.

Bessie, I PMSLed at that Mary Whitehouse-esque fred. And then wondered if MIL was stalking me on here Can't work out if it's a genuinely deluded Pearl-Clutcher or a troll. A pearl-clutching troll? A cunt at the very least.

God, I'm shattered - sexing up VAG on that trolley has really taken it out of me The demands of the woman! Sick, I tell you, sick.

I heart Tamsin too. Isn't it about time we kidnapped a laydee for the palace? Shall I get the big sack from the cupboard?