30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

Before I settle in, may I ask if you mind a 30 something who already has a child? Because I do know this ttc malarky is a sensitive thing (as I will reveal given the chance) and I don't want to upset/offend by being in the wrong place.

I do like gin though. And I am quite bitter and hag like in general...

We have many hags here who are already mums () so worry ye not. Have you been reading all of this thread and if so, have you come across our entry questionnaire?

georgie existing child does not preclude you from membership. To apply please answer the questions asked in the first few pages of this thread, ref wall colour, lezzer crush, cradle robber V sugar daddy lover, crush of shame, any cats? which holes etc etc etc.

Also, are your ovaries ancient, crippled and detactable only via a highly expensive private health care dildo cam? Or are they likely to suck in sperm from any unsuspecting passing male and result in instant, immaculate up-diffments in multiples of 20?

x-post with scorps

"detectable". and me a writer innit. tsk tsk.

We are currently super-popular AND super-verbose. Yay us! (still missing ginhag, tho, and worried that she's buried under her collapsed bathroom). What did I miss? Reasons to want babies? Like gorgeousreturneextreme I took one look at the now-husband and thought it would be a shame if his genes went to waste. Plus, he is very clever at science and I am very clever at reeding n riting so I want to see what on earth we produce. Probably something confused and good at sport. Because we're totally not going to be capable of dealing with that.

I haven't bought anything baby-related yet, and won't for ages if/when updiffed. Way too superstitious.

What else have we been talking about?

1. Do you drink gin? (hint, say yes)

Yes. Also cava, sauvignon blanc and meths

1. Are you a 'journalist' for the Daily Heil?

No. I hope I am not supposed to be.

1. Is there a man involved or are you a turkey baster type?

Yes, but a turkey baster may well get employed too. We've been together for 12 years.

1. Either way, who is your lesbian crush of choice?

Solidgoldbrass.

1. If man involved, is he (a) still at school, or (b) suffering senile dementia?

He's 36. We have called a timescale (I decided this this afternoon) of his 40th birthday (I will be 34 by then). If no sprog number 2 by then, George will be an only child.

1. Now the big test: which is the correct hole? (a) wee wee, (b) foo foo, or (c) Mr Hanky's house?

Test tube, probably.

1. Wall colour question seems to have disappeared. What does this mean? They are mostly Crown milk white.

1. Ovaries - poly cystic and fucked. Failed to co-operate for 18 months pre DS and had 2 MC in 6 months earlier this year. Ho hum.

1. Crush of shame (pre invasion of Iraq) George W Bush.

No. 9 better be a joke answer. We're freaks but we're not that freaky!

Otherwise... welcome!

You did say shame. I am ashamed of it. And this was pre 2001. He has lost his charm for me now.

He had a big buckle on his belt, his daddy owned Texas, what can I say?

Scorp quick grab your judgey pants and get your ass over to Sky 3 for Teenage Wives. I am seated and am ready to criticise and pass judgement on them all although looks like there might be a few teen hubby's too

Ha! Am recording it so can enjoy a proper judgey sesh later...

BESH updiffed by 18 year old

I would SO have bought that £10 moses basket...

Did I mention this is my last night of drinking and smoking... I might loiter a while...

I really wouldnt worry about having a few drinks, actually the morning i had my sperm basting i had a hang-over (ovulated 48 hours early) had had a bottle of vino and 10 marlboro's tyhe night before

I've lapsed into drinking my usual quantities again, but shall cut back again. I've definitely not conceived this cycle though, so next one is the one to go for (though if it is successful, I might be 3 weeks gone at Christmas which would be awkward)

I appreciate your support, but in RL I am surrounded by friends who skype me, then frown at the fact I have a glass of wine in one hand and a fag in the other. They have no idea that the reason i am smoking and drinking back at them on skype is because they wave their babies at me whilst repeating that motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to them. They have finally guilted me. And quite frankly, I am running out of options...

I don't drink and smoke or even eat choccy, so where is my baybee? I reckon I deserve at least 4 by now

I read summat last month about a more alkaline diet being more fertility-friendly and have been focussing on generally eating more of the foods mentioned (fruit, nuts, seeds, lean chicken 'n' fish; you know the drill) and I must say my OVs have been stronger and more 'obvious'. Not saying it's a miracle cure, but it might be summat to try, extremelygorgeous.

Also read in another of my Gran's crap-mags about a woman who took Maca Powder as a fertility boost when her husband had an accident which drastically reduced his sperm count and she got updiffed after only 3 months and had a monster-huge baybee. Not so keen on having a fanny-ripper, but can see self shamefully googling such nonsense if no luck in the next few months

Extreme I know. I mean, I'm super-eco and it would be recycling, supporting a charity, stopping me buying an alternative which would increase my carbon footprint, and sit there looking at me making me feel even more pressured to fill it. sigh Georgimama Hi . I'm one too, trying for #2 with #2 daddy who has yet to prove himself at all, with anyone. I'm 36 and he's 45 so any time limit would be down to his choice. Hoping your littleun wasn't named after your shameful secret. VERY shameful, girl. I am utterly amazed that you actually admitted that. Seriously. Amazed.

Scorpette Thank you . Glad someone noticed me . See FB.

Hi to everyone. Well tell me this. AIB U completely nuts? First day of droid and I'm thinking, this is not really much of a droid. Not had one for 4 years but I always thought there was, you know, blood n stuff. Anyways, so I felt really tired and headachy and light headed so I thought, hmmm, maybe I should POAS. Now obviously it was BFN as, obviously, I'm on my period. Which is no doubt why I felt a bit rubbish. And guess what - next day - there was a proper droid. So I felt a) annoyed I'd wasted a STPO and secondly b) that I could possibly have thought, for one second, that I needed to. [slaps self with wet haddock emoticon]

Am I totally losing my mind?

Maca Powder. Is it from Liverpool?!

carrot you are losing your mind. But you are in a safe place. You may continue to lose your mind for as long as it takes

Cheers [extreme]

[scorpette] yes of course in fact there's a standard Mumsnet discount set up anyway. However I hesitate to mention the website here as I mentioned it (just once) on another thread without fessing it's mine but I am feeling suitably guilty and it won't happen again. Please see FB.

Oops mixed up my [s and my *s.

Can I just ask, and I know this is sensitive so please ignore if so, but how long has everyone here being going for it?

Evening. Me and the giant are on Maca (amongst many other things ), you can get it here...

www.healthydirect.com/product/MACA5/d.jsf