30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

'lo Carrots. This is our 16th cycle, although the first 5 we didn't exactly make a lot of effort, iykwim. We used opks from last Nov, and I've now invested in a persona.

Atm I actually feel like giving up if I am not updiffed this month, as it is torture. But then again, I will probably feel differently if/when the droid arrives.

Haha, extreme, nice one It helps you calm down, calm down.

Sorry, just had to.

This is only my 4th month and there's been novelty mishaps every month so far around Ov time, so I don't really have a reason to be as worrisome as I am... except for being a neurotic fool. Hopefully no comedy this month, just a BAYBEEEEEEE!

Am I the only person who has this worry: if I'm of normal/adequate or even good fertility, wouldn't I have had some sort of acccidental pg before now? Contraception hasn't always worked, so how come I've never had a sniff of updiff? Have had 'scares' and once had a weird, late, v heavy and painful period which could've been a missed MC, but nothing ever came of anything.

Is that mad or has anyone else thought like this?

Me! I totally think that too! Will post proper later, just had to agree with scorpy.

Good morning desparate hags!

I am taking the day off work - feeling a bit migrainey and did not sleep v well last night.

So, I finally got a positive ovulation poas this am on DAY 18!!!!!! ffs!, this was after listening to a doc at the beginning of the month telling me that wimmin ov on cd 12- 14...Me: "I undertsand, but in my case it's usually around CD16/17, and my cycle is 26 days long", to which he got a fucking calendar out and started showing me, "look, if you cycle is 26-28 days long you will ov 14 days before" to which I laughed in his face and said something along the line of "Look, Buster, I 've been in this game a long time, POASing, temping, being scanned, and I know when I ovulate thanksverymuch"...so he carries on trying to explain to silly me that I will ov on cd 12-14...til in the end I was just saying okay, okay, give me the opks and I will do them for you, just to get away from him!

And that is why you have to take it with a pinch of salt when you meet Drs who do not hold with particular treatments etc, and just demand what you want anyway.

So as explained, I have had to abandon treatment due to risk of multiple births (baby auction on ebay in 9 months, if so), but the boyf and I will be doing the dirty anyway even though SEXBANNED by NHS!

I have been prescribed progesterone this time to help make baby stick if updiffed, due to slippery womb of death, and I am thinking I will now start to take it even though I have not done treatment. HOWEVER, then I will have to fess up that I have used my meds when I go back next month...any imaginative lies I can tell them about that?

By the way,large gin and it over here, bartender...propped up in bed with gin and the BESHies is the only way to recover when poorlybears.

my periods have been very light since they returned, Carrots.

We've been trying for over a year and had one mc last month.

Was hoping to go straight from that to baybeee without passing go.....droid due Wed...watch this space.

Although I have important presentation on Wed so that will almost guarantee droid

came off the pill at the end of June, waited for my first period, waited and waited and it eventually came at day 42. So officially, I am only on cycle 2 of trying (and I know it hasn't happened this cycle) but have been at it for 3 months.

Grr, only 8 chances a year rather than 12.

came off the pill at the end of June, waited for my first period, waited and waited and it eventually came at day 42. So officially, I am only on cycle 2 of trying (and I know it hasn't happened this cycle) but have been at it for 3 months.

Grr, only 8 chances a year rather than 12.

Waspy, sorry to hear about m/c , but don't lose heart...I got pg straight away after first m/c...how far along were you?

Medee sorry if you have already mentioned, but is this your first time ttc or do you already have a lickle baybee?

First time and for years I have been totally against the whole idea, so a powerful need to be pregnant has been a bit of a surprise to me. Maybe it is my brain thinking about it as another project, and I don't fail at projects!

Hi ChoCho

Only about 5/6 weeks but was a mmc so didn't find out until nearly 8 weeks at a scan and then it took about 3 weeks to actually happen..so it felt like a long time altogether.

Before the pg/mc I had been fairly relaxed about trying but now I am desperate to be pg again

ChoCho, I feel ya pain about Dr Cretin; t'other week I was moaning on here about my Dr telling me that every single woman ovulates on D14 and anything else is impossible. In Aug, I OVed on D21 of a 29D cycle and in Sep, I OVed on D19 of a weird 31D cycle - despite having nearly always OVed early, @D11-12. She too then suggested I didn't understand my own body.

Me: I've been menstruating and ovulating for 23 years, I understand my own body better than anyone else. I have very obvious ovulations and as well as knowing the signs, I've been temping and using OPK.
Her: but you can only ovulate on D14! What you're saying is scientifically impossible!

Ad infinitum. What hope is there when Drs don't know the simplest thing. Most women who are aware of their ovulation pattern will know it varies and isn't always the textbook D14, so FFS!

Think I might actually OV on D14 (tomorrow) this time round, so maybe my ovaries heard her!

Although I just could not sleep last night and have had about 3-4 hours. Hope the bleeeurgh doesn't mess with my precious Chucky Egg

pollypoo I really hope the Persona thing gives you piece of mind but does it guarantee a baybee? Cuz from my pov if I have proper foofoo/winky sex all the time then I should get my baybee anyway. I can see the point if you only have sex once a month and want to time it right - but I still like my partner enough to voluntarily shag him.

Thanks for the head's up on the judgey-pants programme - I'll download it when I get home.

While we are sharing: Came off pill, then had to wait three months for meds to get out of system, now on Cycle 3 of trying for baybee number 1. As outlined before I have had 34, 28, 38, 26 day cycles recently and really short, light periods, which are the complete opposite to how they were before going on the pill.

waspy Sorry about MC. Morning sickness might be equally annoying when giving your presentation (if not more so) even if it is a bit soon...

congrats on positive OPK cho

I'm on my 12 cycle of trying - ffs, I was supposed to actually have my baybeeeee by now, and be wrapped in a white towelling bathrobe with no stains, looking thin and yet glowing with maternal happiness. Seriously, at the beginning of this whole process, my husband said that we shouldn't be trying in January in case it meant an August baby, which would be terrible for its edumacation. Now we're just SWI all the time (well, sort of. We're SWI when I/he can be arsed/remember/decide that we probably should if we're going to win a baby).

Oh, this would be baby number 1 if it ever gets its shit together to arrive.

Pollypoo I gave up with the Persona. I bought it because I was too cheapskate to spend money on the (identical) ClearBlue thing, but the Persona is incredibly broad in its definition of days when you might possibly be fertile. Plus I am incapable of pissing on a stick first thing in the morning without pissing on my hands/the floor and probably the opposite wall if really malcoordinated. Ski Like temping, I doubt very much that it actually helps, but it gives you an illusory feeling of control. Which can be nice when you're going insane.

Am feeling quite lucky in the face of your GP horror stories - mine was lovely, and has referred me to a proper gynecologist for more tests. Not that I'm looking forward to the tests, but I at least feel like someone cares if I have a baybeeee or not. [sniffs]

oops multiple x-posts. That's what happens when attempting to be sneaky at work! I'll go and get on

waspylady Is your presentation on Millets new line of tents? If so, guaranteed droid. Droids love camping y'see.

Re: progesterone - I was wondering if this is my problem. Apparently thunder thighs are indicitive of low progesterone levels, however it's also a possibility if you have long and irregular periods wheras mine are very regular (and relatively short)... it's not a case of my uterus gets to 90 days and starts feebly dribbling. Plus, I get major squits on day one of droid - which is apparently due to a progesterone surge, so if it can surge for poo, why not surge for a baybee?

Scorpette Does the fact you've not previously dropped the butter dish simply prove that you know which way up a condom goes? Or that you didn't struggle too much with take Tuesday's pill on Tuesday? Or even proof that you can count to 21 using fingers, toes & winky?

Yesterday I went for an amazing ride through the countryside and stopped at a pub for lunch. We had such fun yet there were billions of little people there and the girls with me (one of whom has two kids) were making very derogatory comments wrt the kids and I did think "wtf am I doing?"

Camel - wee up the wall? I think I have diagnosed your fertility issues... I'm afraid to tell you that you are A MAN. And here was me thinking you only had bumsex because you were getting the hole wrong, not because it was the only one available

I was thinking about getting one of those 'personal fertility monitors' but I can't afford £70-odd quid for it Not when I've got my eye on a new pair of boots, ahem (priorities, priorities).

Ski, I'm quite dubious about the whole thunder-thigh-low-progesterone thang. For a start, most women's thighs are the chunkiest part of their body and secondly, how fat compared to the rest of the body fat do they have to be to be considered low-progesterone-fat?! I have big upper thighs (have weird fat distribution on my limbs: really thin legs and arms until the last few inches which flob out. Sexy), but only in a generic 'female curves' sort of way. Again, like Camel, it's probably that winky of yours you keep counting that is your ishoo baybee-wise.

Waspy - big manly punch to the shoulder re: the MC. So sorry, old chap

Waspy that's awful, finding out at the scan - I bled on both occasions, so knew something was up, rather than turning up all excited , and then having to wait for nature to take its course. But you know all the platitudes that you will no doubt do on to conceive,etc (which you will, I'm sure), but just remember to RELAX and DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, and you will only get pregnant if you STOP TRYING, it's true - it happened to my friend! And by the way, someone on this thread reckons you need to do winky in foofoo, not sure if it's true though, I just douche with grapefruit juice, myself.

Sorry, Curly, that second positive opk ended in m/c as well BUT there were still positives to it, because that pregnancy was entirely natural, after what had then been 3 years ttc, inc. fertility drugs and iui, and a M/C...so it was great to get a natural - not happened since though!

Scorp at your doctor...that kind of attitude really worries me. These days our knowledge of fertility and m/c related issues is growing so rapidly, and people with that fixed, old fashioned approach really piss me off - they are hardly going to be early adopters of new methods and technologies are they, and meanwhile all of our eggy-wegs are withering on the vine waiting for the medical professionals to get with the programme!

Morning BESHes - have missed loads... that's what comes of a weekend away..

Are we sharing info then I has come off pill in October 2007 - two fucking years ago - meh... tried back then for 3 months - then stopped as got engaged and selfishly didn't want to look pregnant in wedding pics - so start trying again in Sept 2008 - managed 10 weeks of being updiffed (Feb-April 08) which I hated, but hasn't put me off... I fink I is broken...

scorps I have one of those fertility monitors - but i don't use it - you want to try it - I send it to you?

waspy I found out at scan too - then had to wait 2 weeks for 'it' to happen. Is totally bollocks.

Scorpette I have also read on the mighty interweb that thunderthighs are fat reserves PACIFICALLY for pregnancy and that they melt away during breast-feeding.

I think I have now had 3/4 "chemicals" but only one gave me the BFP. The first one was when I was in Colorado and a part of me thought "altitude" but by the time the symtoms kicked in with vigour I'd already been there a week and altitude problems dissipate by then. Droid caught me running from one plane to another at Minneapolis. Spent the entire flight back to Amsterdam wailing "let me offffffff". Since then two more, including Camping Droid [tm] in June and this month.

I think I'm going to try relaxingandnotthinkingaboutit and see what happens. From what I've read you only need to do it once when you're relaxing. Sometimes you can be so drunk during that once that you don't even know you've had sex.

Morning laydees. OK, you've got me - I am a > control freak. Unfortunately the giant did go through a phase of only wanting sex once a month, hence manic Ov testing.

We don't have that problem now, but I am still a control freak. Seems the only thing I have no control over is the actual getting updiffed bit which is what makes me even more mental at certain times of month.. grrr.

Droid is due next Mon/Tues. I'm trying to have PMA but scared to hope. And then I worry that if I do not feel PMA baybee will know and not stick around and its ALL MY FAULT.....>

Iggy, that was an exemplar for all BESHies to live up to...truly self serving avoidance of childbearing, just to look purty on you wedding day - go girl, I shall be informing the Daily Mail immediately.

I found my brief stint at updiffification quite fine, thankfully - and in fact the intense tiredness and ealry nights served only to help me to avoid my usual humungo wine habit!

Mucho at doctors who don't know their stuff, but not surprised at all. Mum's a midwife and she had lots of probs with junior docs at the pital. They did a 6 week rotation only seeing women in difficulties and therefore assumed that all childbirth needed medical assistance.

casper interested in the light periods thing. Have you been ovulating?

I was thinking about non-ovulation and PCOS and wondering if both caused light periods? Not that I'm saying either of us may have PCOS, but just wondering if the light droids may be because of non-ov, meaning no post-ov hormone build up of a decent lining, meaning light periods.

It took 7 months for me to OV last time I had the mirena out and I caught that first month I did, but I can't remember what my periods were like.

I've started temping now so will see in the next few weeks if I ov.