30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

Pregnant = unpleasant / horrible
Licklebaybee = lovely, gorgeous, huggy, can't stop staring at beautiful face and tiny fingers, heart whooshing up with love uncontrollably.

And I was the most hard-hearted selfish career-minded BESH on the face of the earth. Look at me now.

(But please note, will still never come within bargepole's length of Little Princess clothing.)

wtf? little princess clothing? that's a big, fat, negative... good job, pony!

Caspar, I feel the same about needing to be pregnant - NOW. I feel like a rampaging animal: FILL MY WOMB! I once described it to TYF as it being so strong that it feels like someone's stolen my baby and I must get it back ASAP. Except I don't have a baby. Yet

Pony - I'll hold you to that over the princess crap.

I can echo that - I want/need to be pregnant.

Following that I have visions of baybee sat in a pram next to the arena screaming its bloody head off as I get back on with "my" life and get some riding in.

I thought TYF meant "Tight Young Fuck".

(I may add random comments for a while. Just trying to catch up on this thread!)

extreme It probably does mean that too.

scorp Mr Pony and I were actually talking about the princess thing this morning after reading this article in the Guardian. Our worst nightmare. Is it cruelty if you force your daughter to be a tomboy? Or would some busybody call social services just because I denied her the right to attend Disney on Ice Princess Wishes dressed in a Cinderella dress complete with tiara and wand? (Blah, blah, Khalil Gibran etc etc... what a dilemma )

Y'know, I don't feel a need to get pregnant, have a baby or a child or any such yearnings. We're trying to do this mostly because at 35 (or 34 as I was when we started) it seemed like now or never, and I figured that the maternal shiz will turn up when it needs to... I spent the first few months of 'trying' obsessing about whether it would happen, then after the m/c panickingly wanting to get diffed again - but now I seem to have come to some kind of peace with it - if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't - and if it doesn't I won't have to spend 2 years "4 stone overweight, hysterical with tiredness, weeping, sat on a rubber ring, cabbage in my bra to heal the tits of agony and wearing the same pyjamas I'd had on for a week with puke, shit and piss all over me" (© scorps). Would it be heretic or render me infertile to say that I'm really not that arsed about it at the moment....?

But hey, that's just this week, and no doubt I'll be back to the obsessive fucking lunacy ward by the end of the month...

How DARE you impugn the honour of my throbbing young fuck YF? Ours is a pure and spiritual love, based on our mutual .... nah, he's a hot young studmuffin and I still think 'PHWOOOOARGH' every time I look at him. His sizzling hawtness is now available on our FB group for all to appreciate and envy me for

Pony, I read that article too. My parents lightly encouraged me towards the tomboyage and it never did me any harm (100% of people reading this are now thinking ). I asked for some pink striped wallpaper when I was about 10 ('candy stripe' by Laura Ashley, v tasteful) but that was about it. I heart fashion and make-up as an adult, but I am definitely not a 'twirly girly'. I think it's the 'Princess' mentality that sticks with so many women that's the prob - hence too many mardy, attention-seeking, passive-aggressive bints on here and in RL (not talking about you, FA, if you're reading )

BTW, talking of hunks in our group pics, can I just say that I have genuinely thought that everyone's bloke I've seen has been 'phwoooargh' as well. Here we all are - ready, able, mainly solvent, good lifestyle, happy and settled and gorgeous BESHes with gorgeous menfolk - so where are the baybees in this ideal family-making scenario?

I see through your cunning ploy, Longwee - you're saying you're not arsed about it all just to ensure that you'll fall immediately pregnant with triplets. Playing the old 'not bothered card', eh? Can be just as potent as the 'French Holiday'.

It's not, honest. I've genuinely never had the 'urge' for kids - not that I've not wanted them, I've just never felt that pull when I look at them or think about it. I was happy enough to give it a go on the grounds that the fella is keen and we're at the right time to be getting on with it. Now the obsessing has all died down I'm back to the not really arsed phase - but like I say, that could well all change on the next babyfail...

And the 'French Holiday' was not in the slightest bit potent in that I didn't get so much as a sniff of a shag due to serious foodpoisoning...

However, if we're starting to use 'dropping the butter dish' as a euphemism I reckon I will easily be the first to 'drop' given that I've spent my entire life being a massive clod. If it's messy/expensive/breakable then guaranteed I'll drop it/spill it/loose it...

Nah, I knew you were serious - was just teasing you. I think a lot of people are ambivalent and then love being a Mum. but some people are ambivalent and don't like it. My hunch is you'd be the former

Cho Thanks for understanding that what came across as a bloody stupid comment wasn't meant that way at all! Sometimes I should read before posting... I was in a hurry.

I completely understand the need to get pregnant, and at the moment that's how I'm feeling. Before DS I really wanted a baby, too (good thing really) but wasn't keen on toddlers - and certainly not older boys. Now, I'm much happier with my little lad than babes as he's funny, interesting and just good company. But then when he was a babe I was having a terrifically hard time at home, so didn't enjoy that at all. Also I didn't take any maternity leave so didn't have any of the "playing with the baby" at home ().

I was amazed at how strong the feelings were when he grew on me (took about 2 weeks or so) and how strong they are now. I could literally tear someone apart with my bare teeth if they tried to hurt him. There has never been anything that I have felt more passionately about than protecting him.

I know you hear all this from mums and it may sound little utter shite - or irrelevant - and that's all fine. For me, I was just pleased that all kicked in. For my friend, it didn't for about 8 months - she suffered terrible PND and had an awful time. So it's not always sweetness and light, as we all know.

I don't know where I'm going with this but DH did ask me yesterday what I "got out" of this forum and I was thinking it through and also thinking about what Cho said; not only was I questioning what I got out of here, but also why I wanted another baby - and perhaps also what I brought up the other day which was is it selfish for me to feel such strong feelings about wanting another, when I already have one.

Fortunately I don't have the "I want to experience being a mum" feeling, which I do remember having before, simply because I am one, thank Ye Gods and Jesus and the rainforest. But the incredibly strong feeling of wanting a filled womb is there in spades. The other thing I really want, and this may sound really odd, is I want to breastfeed again. I fed DS until he was about 15 months and I still miss it. Little bastard started biting me then and that was BLOODY painful . Kinky, I know.

I do want to share being a parent with DH because he's not one, and he is wonderful with kids. DS calls him daddy, and he is a fabulous father to him. But, I want that thing of having my DH being proud of me being pregnant (as opposed to telling the world either that I had tricked him, or it was an accident - neither of which was true in any sense of any part of it) and not to take the piss out of me about how I looked and acted in labour. . Etc. Not surprisingly I also have a lot of hangups about that, and the concept of getting pregnant is mixed with so many terrible, haunting nightmares that I am sure it will be a big pressure on us (deep breath).

Gosh golly polly I am being rather serious here.

pokes Ski in eye and runs away bareing bottom

Maybe try 'French Holiday a Week after your Birthday and Coinciding with Finally Getting Your Mojo Back'. (patented Pony Corporation)

ponymum, "But then, she is a girl, and I suppose it was always an inevitability. I may as well accept it."

Sweet Jesus WTF??? NONONONONO It is NOT inevitable. EEWWWWWW.

I remember being teased at school for not being all trendy and in fashion and crap like that, but, also having girls envy me coz I had poniez. Seldom (unless your parents are WAYY richer than mine were) can you have both. Clothes from the charity shop and poniez or fashionable gear and tinkerbell (spew).

Still the same now. I'm sitting in anti-moz walking trousers I bought for touring Africa, and old top from Uni (that's how old it is) and a tatty old fleece. Just been round Sainsburys wearing same. There Is Nothing Pink In My Wardrobe.

If I had a girl I would NEVER take her to something like that. As lasses in our 30s we're old enough and experienced enough (fnar fnar) to know just how many princes and frogs there are out there, and how singing sweet songs in woods does not your true love find.

Good article.

I was never girly at all. Poniez etc and of course Katie Pissing Price wasn't selling her paedowear at horsey shops back then. Any of you girls seen her ads in the derby house catelogue for example? Absolutely disgusting advertising - fucking Jordon "leering" at the camera in some faux-alluring way. It tickles me when I get emails saying her stuff is in the online equivalent of the bargain bin!

Even when I hit make-up my first Avon purchase was "Moody Mauve" lippy.

I'm sat here in breeches n.b., not Katie Price ones with "sexy poniez" written across my arse in shocking pink.

Btw scorps, in my darkest days I was a size 24 - and larger! Didn't stop doctors wanting to put me on the pill though and even then my periods were still shockingly regular... Anyway, having watched enough of those teenage-mums on BBC3 - weight issues and smoking seem to be par for the course.

Hello all - will be back.

OOohhhhh... zat another Newbie? [rubs hands together]

I have decided to spell badly today and use poor punctuation. Apologies in advance but its my last day of drinking.

I have in my mind that as of tomorrow I will be limiting caffeine intake and nicotine and alcohol EVEN MORE (soon to be weekends only - STRICT). I also intend to buy all the preseed in the land and use my good fellow like a work horse.

18 months and nada - I'm gonna get EVEN MORE serious between now and Christmas. After that I will sell my body to medical research in exchange for some properly placed spermings.

That whole temperature thing n' shite.... do you have to start that after prune juice or what?!

PS - Great to be back!!! (and I am back PROPER this time)

Having fully revised this latest Besh thread I would like to add that I have absolutely no idea why I want to be updiffed. I can only say that I am in a constant state of anxiety because it hasn't happened.

I just want to be pregnant. I can't think beyond that. I refuse to think about the downsides of the condition. I just knew the minute I fell for OH that I HAVE to have his babies. Have now known him ten years, so thats a lot of imaginings....

I have also saved a lot of pictures of cool things to do with nursery's. I am potentially a frustrated wannabe interior designer amongst other things....

OK then, let's have an "admission" bit. When we first started TTC last november I thought "right, I'll get loads of baby clothes in the sales in jan/jun - sorted". I didn't buy anything and actually I'm glad I didn't because they'd be waving themselves in my face and spelling out "B.A.R.R.E.N." in baby-furniture drawers. Have any of you bought baby things?

I am actually MAKING baby things for a craft fair (read desperate)

Also bought hand made baby clothes in India in 2003 and saved a brand of cot to my preferences in Ebay. Has taken all my strength not to bid....

Loser....

done the ebay thing lots with Nature's Nest baby hammocks and some travel systems. Mum bought me a moses basket a few weeks ago. (she knows of plans) It is wrapped in black bin bags in the loft

I got rid of most of my baby stuff as exH saidhe'd have no more babies. Actually, he said he would have no more babies with me (then got GF pregnant and told me how happy he was). No, I'm going to stop ex bashing now, sorry. ANYWAYs so a couple of months ago I was passing a charity shop where there was the cutest little moses basket inside for just £10... very tempted but forced myself to walk on by.

My biggest problem is that I sell baby stuff and when choosing collections for next year I keep thinking I want to add in things for me - but don't dare.

sulk noone asked me about the windows.

Tell me about the window, Carrots

I have restrained myself from buying stuff, but did have moment of weakness earlier this year and bought adorable babygro from Topshop - navy and white stripe with purple star on it, which I figured is pretty unisex. Is only aged 0-3 months, and worry that if I updiff soon, it'll be too hot when future baybee is born for it to wear it. Mad AND stingy - I'm a real catch!

When we first started TTC and I swore my Mum to secrecy (not that me and my Mum were TTC - that would a tad freak-ay), we went and looked round all the baby stuff in John Lewis but were banned for life for shattering all the glass on the premises squealing at tiny shoes, etc. Not really, but almost. She hasn't mentioned baby stuff anymore, because although she would never say it, I know she's worried that it'll never happen now just because I didn't get updiffed first time trying, like she did with me and my bro and my Gran did with her brother and her. Gimme a chance!

I have a huge internet bookmark list with an innocuous name that is packed obsessively with baby ideas and products, etc. Am already worried that I can't find a parent-facing double prams for twins that gives each twin an equal amount of parental eye contact (they all seemed to be one stacked behind the other), despite there being no history of twins in either family; I just like to be prepared for every eventuality, okay?

Yep, menkal.

Am glad extreme is back PROPPAH!

BTW ladies, am I being entirely stupid to worry about anti-sperm saliva issues of - ahem - oral sex? I can't be expected to give up my favourite thing in the world, can I? Good SWIing earlier, but now lightly fretting about cunning linguistics. TMI?

PS Carrots, you sell baby stuff? On the web? In RL? Do we get a discount?