30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

I agree wiv camel you both sound like BESHes to me too

ROFL @ "inspirational poems"

They're both BESHs. Speaking of illicit ciggies - where's our extremesitting?

1. Ahem, a red blooded cougar
2. Baybeee makink: Can I add an option 5 here, plz...As EVERYBODY knows, it is completely impossible to make the baybee if you fink about making the baybee, worry about making the baybee, or stress about failing to make the baybee. All you need to do is RELAX, and stop finking about it, it?s easy, see! So I crochet some fertility crystals out of manuka honey, and I meditate whilst rubbing my ovaries ?whiddiways? to impart the SPIRITUAL ENERGY into my fangita.
3. C)...NEVER TEST...BECAUSE THEN YOU HAVE TO CUT OUT BOOZE/CHEEZE
4. b)evil

1. Ahem, a red blooded cougar
2. Baybeee makink: Can I add an option 5 here, plz...As EVERYBODY knows, it is completely impossible to make the baybee if you fink about making the baybee, worry about making the baybee, or stress about failing to make the baybee. All you need to do is RELAX, and stop finking about it, it?s easy, see! So I crochet some fertility crystals out of manuka honey, and I meditate whilst rubbing my ovaries ?whiddiways? to impart the SPIRITUAL ENERGY into my fangita.
3. C)...NEVER TEST...BECAUSE THEN YOU HAVE TO CUT OUT BOOZE/CHEEZE
4. b)evil

"So I crochet some fertility crystals out of manuka honey, and I meditate whilst rubbing my ovaries ?whiddiways? to impart the SPIRITUAL ENERGY into my fangita."

I think I love you.

Excellent!

Hi Iggy,

Mc'ed in April, got 'updiffed' within 2 weeks, then mmc at 10 weeks, back at the shagging for a coupla months, and fertility treatment this month. Lots of dildocam action, which is probably a good thing as the boyf can't spill his jizz for a week before treatment .

Much better now but, 2 due dates to look forward to, one in Dec and one in Jan.

How young is your mancub foofoo? I do like option 5) Relax. Do you douche with grapefruit juice too? One of the BESHs suggested that one.

FooFoo Its a big pile of arse innit - but you in good company here - we like to babyfail too...

Loving the thought of the RL meetup upthread, and the potential disruption to the physical universe...can we refer to the event as the Large Hag-ron Collider?

hahaha I'm off to get some popcorn, we've got a real life stand-up comedian here!

Fuck me, I go to the gym for a few hours and we've got double-newbies and all sorts of goss going on. Welcome new BESHes! Your answers were excellent, but no-one has asked the important one - are you Daily Heil journalists?!

Will Mellor? That truly is a crush of SHAAAAAME.

Ski - righting a book, are you? Is it about spelling?

Lyra,you have the same b-day as me, doncha? I am wildly self preoccupied have the memory of a sieve today.

Pigsy, I done sent you a friend request on BumFace, but you keep saying I'm rejecting you. WHHHHY?

Have also sent BESH palace a friend request.

we may, an excellent suggestion which I may well steal for my own!

Hes 33, and I am just touching 38, so it's just 5 years, I am not the kind of exploitative predatory childsnatcher that some of you seem to be. And my victim loves me...

Gosh welcome one and all. Mitchell, the shot glasses please!

Keeping up the fine tradition of comedy I see . But tell me - are either of you faffing around with writing a book?

...

Hag-ron collider, love it
(Bitch better not come on FB and steal my hilarity crown - I'm crowing it up right now)

Nah, only joking.

WTF are these Hallowe'en emoticons? Let's see...

PS Pigsy - about fucking time.

Scorps No, my book will be about me, ergo being right.

FooFoo My victim loves me too and if wants a new coat for school before it gets really cold he'll keep on towing my party line.

the fabulous Charlie Brooker (I might make him my non-physical crush of shame) has just written an excellent response to the Jan Moir travesty

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir?commentpage=1&commentposted=1

scorp "I go to the gym for a few hours". Hours! Hours! Wtf?

ChoCho - ski and scorp are our proper resident childcatchers. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang indeed.

Not toeing then ski?

I have not washed the hoohoo with the grapefruit juice, but I have used pre-seed, which is hilariously slippery if you get it on the bedroom floorboards, and, top tip: I always find it less embarrassing if you don't leave the packet and the tubes lying around, and then come home to find that cleaning lady has tidied them all up nicely, but thinks your must have a dessicated vag.

camel Sauna's don't heat themselves you know, you have to tend to them. Then there's the capuccino bar...

cunty Oh fuck off.

I saw Chitty recently - not enough Child Catcher in my opinion, especially when it came to the stage school sewer kiddies.

What actually is pre-seed?