30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

Scorp no I haven't read your long post yet. I was stupid to mention the pg thing, i was trying to be self deprecating and it went very wrong...my sense of humour is just weird sometimes and I didn't want to make anyone feel worse, just was saying 'oh I am so not in the right place' type comment - i meant that sincerely.
I have been upset about what SH has written since seeing it yesterday and just wanted to point out I could see it and yes it was hurtful.

On a different tack - and without wishing to cause any MORE upset and chaos than I already have this morning - may I suggest something? It occurred to me that MN might think about making TTC a hidden topic like SN is for example. That way you might feel less visible and could also make erm, remarks, I wouldn't care if I couldn't see it.

It has to be worth asking them.
Once again really sorry for intruding and please don't be offended by my crappy attempt at a joke.

I know I said I was going but would rather sort it out.
And I haven't read the whole thread btw, can#'t understand most of it anyway

I like kittens. Is this too controversial?

i had a kitten by accident actually

kim IDNGAFWTAUON! Right, it's Friday ladies and we need a toon. Hereby I give you Natalia - she was 2nd in the Belgian x-factor 7 years ago I think - she's a bit Kelly Clarkson - i.e., absolutely bags of talent but not looking like the marketing man's dream and they keep making her sing "poppy" stuff, but I really love this. Considering the way she starts of this I'd say she's an honorary BESH www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SjdnFztNqU&feature=related

Aaaargh aaaargh aaargh.

Can I point out that I've just checked Active Conversations and you can't see the actual posts - just the name of the poster.

I don't give a flying fuck what gets written here and I really don't give a fuck if people see what I write. What I give a fuck about is someone coming in and trying to continue a fight that they were having elsewhere.

I know this is just the internet and all of this is 11101010101010101 somewhere but I AM SO ANGRY THAT I AM SHOUTING IN CAPSLOCK.

Sometimes it's best just to be quiet.

FA - You have absolutely NO idea as to whom I was referring. You register so little on my radar that I'm trying to remember on which forum we've even "met".

Ewwww I saw scorpette trying to snog the bus driver.

Scorps What are your feelings on "Mama Mia"? I loved it - it showed that the more mature lady could still find love. jailbait got it for me for xmas then cried salty tears of hate when I watched it on boxing day.

I saw Bollywood Dreams. It's a long story.

It's because of my lumps. My lovely lady lumps.

Anyway apart from you giving me the funniest butter laugh since casper's "last tango in paris" scene I'm really glad you popped in this morning because I've been worried. How are your prunes cooking?

I love the way she spends about a minute fiddling with her knickers before starting the song. The Dutch have no concept of sophistication or embarrassment and I heart them for it.

She's quite a good dancer, albeit in a 'looks like she needs a big shit' manner. Blocky pelvic girdle; might be wearing control pants (this is professional dancer opinion. A blocky pelvis is what usually stops most people being a truly good dancer. I am smug, because I can do all that kerazy Dancehall-stylee pelvis waggling. Yes, I can both 'whine' AND 'grine'. Always becoming in a BESH).

Aaaargh, they're doing maternity fashion on This Morning right now (don't judge me) - is there no escape? £109 for a naff dress? You're having a larf, aincha?

Ski That's europoptastic. How is she not showing her knickers.

Man. I really should do some work today.

ehhe hehhe Scorps yeh - the 'motion' dance.

Prune juice is still here - hmmm. The Dildocam def said it wuz an embryooo and not a boil, so....

I still feel like crap warmed up. Can you all please "drop the butter dish" soon, so we can collectively whinge a bit more about prune juice, sickness, and stuff???

Soz, that was about Ski's link.

I watched Mamma Mia at the cinema with my parents. We laughed, we cried, we sang (for an Aspie, or indeed, any man, my Dad is a surprisingly sentimental fool). Then watched it again on Boxing Day (snap!) at TYF's Gran's house (where I must apparently spend every Boxing Day, hmmph) and all the laydeez sang along whilst the men sulked and moaned. It was better in the cinema, mind.

I love all cheesy musicals: Sound of Music, Annie, Fiddler On The Roof, etc., etc. I even love Yentl, which might make me the only person who loves it apart from Streisand herself. And even then...

Kim That's what we all need! Some Bollywood!

Bollywood is like ponies and kittens and hearts and candy and glitter only better.

I need to go and rewatch Om Shanti Om. Which has a disco track called "Dard-e-disco" which literally translates as "the pain of disco". My heart is full of the pain of disco, goes the song, as Shah Rukh Khan emotes vigorously.

What else has happened over the past days? A new poo on the block? Scorp about to turn my age at the end of the month? Gin on her 5th anniv? clink clink. And ski, dear ski... high jinx as ever.

She's Flemish Scorps. I've only ever caught about 2 minutes of X-factor in my life and it was her audition. She came out and sang about 6 bars when the Cowell of the team said "Natalia stop, see you next saturday". Naturally, this being Belgium the phone votes made Peter, the long-haired heavy metal rocker win! She looked like a choirgirl at her audition - she was all Alice band and M&S cream cardi and yet there she is - skirt so high her whole world's her gynae.

I am not a dancer scorps - the closest I come to dancing is a quick dash across the dancefloor en route to the loos. But I get the pelvis thing - for me after a few days on the piste I feel it unblocking and I walk more "freely" too. Odd.

Oooh that reminds me - that was a mild argument jailbait and I had recently. Say for example you were a motherless family with a cold-hearted father and you are trying to escape the nazis in to switzerland, would you have time to practice your harmonies?

hehe - god, I'm like the deaf old lady on here - by the time i've done my typing, there are, like, loads of posts.

hehe - god, I'm like the deaf old lady on here - by the time i've done my typing, there are, like, loads of posts.

Listening to "Don't Bring me Down" by OPL Bastards - la la la.

Bollywood, yep. Scorp is there anything you don't do? Stylist, dancer, academic, feminist, socialist, headcase.

Oh you've probably all moved on from Bollywood now anyway.

kim She doesn't do foo-foo sex.

She's got healthy thighs.

I DO do foofoo sex - once TYF even touched it . But then we went back to praying to da ickle baybee Jebus for to give us a child. Much more sanitary.

I have indeed done many things, but never really succeeded in anything cos of ill health and general procrastination and uselessness One day, however, I will finish this bloody book I'm writing. And you can all have £1 off the RRP - how's that for generous?

I'm not sure if the high incidence of reported child abuse is good or bad. It's good that it's being reported - but is it being reported because people are not hiding in shame or because the problem is just that much bigger per capita?

I'm actually OK with the Wallons and spent 4 years living in Belgium's German-speaking community. IMO it's the Flems who are absolute nutjobs.

Btw, why have you named your book "50% off"?

Scorp that reminds me of that Private Eye joke:
Man 1: 'I'm writing a book'.
Man 2: 'Yes, nor am I'.

Mind you, a best seller is my only hope. But I've said, and not acted on this, since mid 20s. I did pub 2 books a few years ago. But they are beyond boring (factual, serious). Like me, innit.