30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

I have written a book. It is gathering dust as I have chickened out of sending it to any agents. I sent it to one agent (the best in this genre) who said it was great but while they wouldn't personally represent it, but were sure others would, good luck, etc. Was a pretty positive response. But then I started writing the second book and stupidly decided that now the first book was not exciting enough in comparison and needed to be completely rewritten. Hence it's sitting there gathering dust. I need the millions of moolaa it would surely bring in, so why am I sitting on my arse?

Jealous, jealous, jealous!

Kim, we MUST know the names of these books - why are you not friending us on FB so we can stalk you? Hmmph. I know Pony won't FB us because she's married to Richard Dawkins or whatever, but what's YOUR excuse, huh? HUH? Pony - publish the fuckers, gah! What 'genre' is it, btw?

Ski - Fuck. Off.

Some magical grammar from me in the above post. I rite gud!

scorp ducks, even the names of the books are boring...
They are not money spinners - but were done for academia (cue holy music).
Pony just send it off to more people. NO POINT perfecting or re-writing - this is ze ego at work.
Also, I think George Orwell was told 'a long uneventful book about a farm', so...
As for FB, I had an acct, but it took up all my time so I cancelled it and it is now no more. I also don't know how to find any of you on FB. Where are you? Where? Where? Oh, I am so lost and lonely in my dressing gown, 'working at home', and with only last nite's spaghetti bolognaise for company.
See, maybe I should branch out into kitchen sink dramas. So anyway Scorp I take it your book is about, and will be, a BESH seller?

Jesus girls I went out for one and half hours and full scale war broke out . Followed by full scale book publication! Bloody hell, feeling very uncreative as I sit here munching giant choc buttons (pud).

However I bought a book the other week entitled how to write a novel, so I'll be swinging into action on that one in a couple of years. The fact I haven't had a creative thought in years puts me off not one jot. All I need to do is write about what I know.

So ladies, how can I combine the following:

Gin
Dental caries
Sulking
Motorbikes
Hockey (field, for cuntshine )
69s
Garden birds
Wine
The Lake District.

There, lets see how creative you are feeling

Isn't that Swallows and Amazons?!

My dad keeps telling me to write 'faction'. Fucktion maybe. A fucking tale of wine and motorbikes in the Lake District. I knows you've done your research Cunty.
BTW, I still don't know what that fight was about. I just came by to see the Beshes.

PS Giveus a Button.

Or: Swallowing Amazons. Probably already taken for a DIY movie I suppose.

Kim, just wanted to say that I am going to use 'dropped the butter dish' to mean updiffment from now on, that was ace And no, my epic Man Booker Prize winner book is not about BESHes, it is literary fiction, slightly magic realism (dirty word).

Though it's not nearly exciting as Cunty's idea

PS Ask ski how to find us on FB - she's the clever one [lazy]

dealer buttons are, predictably, all gone. I invite you to take one of these M&S fizzy pig tails however.

There are M&S fizzy pig tails? When did that happen? I mean, fizzy fish, yes. And percy pigs, yes. But to combine the two? Wow, these is not just sweets, these is M&S sweets. I better get to the shops.

I'll publish your communal magic-realism-amazonian-porn-paranormal-biking-in-the-Lake-District-book. Sounds marv.

Don't forget it's my bday too Scorps - or else.

I've got M&S chocolate teacakes.

In facewank news, piggy has identified my dog's breed. I always thought he was a mutt, turns out he has been a posh pedigree all the time (NSDTR, she tells me) and I should probably adjust his imaginary accent from Blackpool to Canada.

Your dog has hitherto had a Blackpool accent? That's chuffin PRICELESS that

lyra he does look bit like one tho doesn't he?! Or iz I just talking shit.

Because we've lost skater who apparently is too good for us now - or has turned in to some sort of Stepford Wife who just posts recipes... I shall set up a fb account for people to connect to "the palace" and then I'll send them onwards. I was going to edit my profile and put the link there but ...

I'm going to right a factual book. It's about a girl who works all over the world, conquers mental illness and dates spies.

kim hence the dental caries...

Right, anyone who wants to join us, look for "BESH palace" and give the nod on here.

Have sent friend request. I'm not sure I understand why as logic is not my metier. But being a sheep to ski's border collie I have done as I'm told

Noooo it's for people like kim to find us if they need to. I'm not comfortable putting my real name up here (or in my mn profile). So our BESH ladies can contact BESH Palace and I'll grab them from there. We already know who you are cunty so you can stop sending us photos of your barely-worn hanky-hole.

Maybe we should have a lovely FB group, too. That we can post dildocam pictures of our barren WD40 wombs to...

That's a very good idea camel. I will set something up this weekend and make it a "closed group" so nobody can see who is a member or what we're doing there. Exchanging bumsex tips obviously.

at coming across as self-publicist. Thought I'd hidden that facet of my personality.

I have a bumsex tip - shall I save it for our new group?

I duz not wants peoples knowing I is talking about baybeeez on FB.... *para refers to paranoid - not paraplegic - in case of confusion...