Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

[MumOfBaby]

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

tiger I'm so so sorry my pet.. And don't let anyone take this bean away from you it was your bean for the time you had him no matter how little..

My hv told me that nhs tests and drs tests are crappy cheap twosh so it might make sense if your level has gone down that they haven't picked it up. Did she scan u?

We're all here for you hope you are ok xxx

Tiger, I'm thinking your DH must be home by now. I and others will be checking here for in case you feel the need to talk, all right? Take care of yourself.

Thanks Meita. I'm still waiting for DH to come home, and getting slightly pissed off that he isn't here yet. I know he had loads of work to do this evening, and earlier on he had said he would have to stay late, but still.

What was your DH reaction when you mc'd?

tiger any sign of dh?

shout if u need us x

LeeWT and Meita - sorry not to be back sooner - DH did come home not long after I last posted. He has been very sweet, and we had a long talk about everything and I told him all about what happened at the EPAU.

I was telling him how I'd been straight on here pretty much as soon as I got back from the hospital, and how kind you've all been, and it made DH cry! I don't think until now he has understood how amazing MN and you guys are. I think he thinks I'm a bit odd to be on here all the time!
As you all know, this thread is an absolute lifeline isn't it?
It helps soooo much to have people who understand.
I've just been reading this thread from start to finish, and can't believe I've only been on it for about a week - it seems like I've 'known' you all for ages.

Am not feeling too bad now - DH went to get a nice comforting takeaway - nothing like crispy duck pancakes and cripsy beef to cheer me up! I'm going to have an early night now, and try to get back into RL properly tomorrow - considering I've done eff all work over the last week at least I can get back into that. I'm also doing a half marathon next week, and as I thought I was pg, I haven't done any training for over a week so must start again tomorrow.

Lots of hugs to you all, especially Meita and LeeWT for sitting with me earlier.

tiger I hope DH has arrived and made up for being late by being extra-nice and caring.

I was abroad when I MCed and had to tell DP on the phone and couldn't see him until 3 days later. That was not very nice... Also, by the time I finally got back home I was over the worst of the shock and was mostly just numb and cold inside, so he never really understood how terrible it had been for me at the time, and so he was sort of surprised a bit later when the numbness lifted and the grief arrived in full force. He was sad, too, but more in a "oh dear, that's a pity. Well, we'll have to try again" way.

lee how are you holding up?

oh, just crossed messages. I'm so glad that DH has been good with you - and yes, this has been a lifeline for many of us.
Enjoy that takeaway food. And take care.

Oh tiger - what a cruel twist of fate. You are really going through it at the moment. Glad your DH has understood (not making excuses at all but we do live with it all 24/7 so maybe it does take them a little longer to catch up and understand the importance/emotions involved). Sorry I'm probably expressing things badly. Hope you're OK. Just remember it is a real rollercoaster and even if you dip low you will come up again.

MrsR hope things are better in the R househould tonight.

meita - at you having to go through the m/c away from your DP.

This thread really is a lifeline.

Love to all.

tiger the first few days are the worst then it gets a little easier. So sorry for your loss. Hugs and kisses sweetheart. CAnt remember who said it but they were right - don't let people diminuish your loss with the - oh at least it was early line. I was 5 -6 weeks and its just heartbreaking. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tiger how are you doing now honey? Glad dh was so supportive. I was worried when you said u are going back to work.. Not to pry too much but how much are you bleeding? You shouldn't rush back to work until your bodys recovered..
You are right about mn, I don't think I could have gotten through my two mcs and all that happened in between without it.. My dh didn't like seeing me on it as much when we were ttc and he was prob right at the time I was obsessed but think he understands now..

meita thanks for asking I'm ok.. I've caught dds cold which for me always means a chest infection as I'm asthmatic. So feeling a bit floored by that I hate being headachey.. Last night two of my work friends called up and brought flowers and chocs, a card and a voucher for beauty place nearby so I can go for massage or pedicure. AND my mums comig up next week and similarly got me a voucher for another hair and beauty place (maybe they're all trying to tell me something!)

how's everyone else today? Xxx

Oh Tiger . Only just saw your messages and I am so so sad. Don't really know what to say, other than I am glad your DH is being so nice, and please take all the time you need to mourn this - it is a real loss. Look after yourself. x

Morning all

tiger hope you are feeling ok this morning and that you have managed to get some rest

lee sorry to hear you have been struck down by kids cold - I always find the stuf DS brings home from nursery goves him a minor cold and wipes me out for 3 days!

Looking for updates from Em22, Trixel, Barrenbrook, Zayja and Viv

Am now on CD18 and so now into the 2WW ... boo hiss .. and given we only had one shot at bd in the window I think its unlikely I am going to grad this month - am already anticipating being back at the bottom of the list in about 10 days time!

Feeling ok though - am feeling quite pragmatic about everything at the moment so its nice to be in a calm place. I go abit mental in the ovulation window but other than that seem to be quite calm (DH might say different!)

Have updated list tiger hope you don't mind I have put you on CD2 on the basis that you got your terrible news yesterday - but you might be more days in if the bleeding you had last week was the MC. Anyway I hope thats not insensitive, not my intention at all, on the contrary I found having dates and times to focus on a way of looking to the future.

Thursday list

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD52
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD37
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD37
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD32/33
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD29
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD27
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD18
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD17
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD16
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD10
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD9
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD3
Tigerbear TTC#? UCL? cycle WTF CD2

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September

tiger how are you today? Did you get any news from the blood test?

lee at that cold, it's typical that it would get you now. Yes, I do think they are trying to tell you something - obviously, they are telling you that you should be pampering yourself. I think you should listen to them .

cheepz it only takes the once. But I admire you for being calm. I hope you can carry that with you until the next ovulation window, which might not be for a very long time if you're lucky... (and as you said, dating would be kind of easy )

tfls (hugs) to you. How are you doing? PILs arrived? Is the monitor working better this time round?

I'm thinking I might get a +ve on the OPK today (splashed out on CB OPK, first time I'm using OPK). CM is just right, egg-white and all, which I haven't had so clearly since I've started observing back in February. (I'm thinking it might have something to do with that raspberry leaf infusion I've been drinking.) Also, had a temp-dip today which usually precedes ovulation in my charts. We had a BD-break last night so now ready to get down to things seriously . I'm feeling kind of in control right now, and relaxed - I doubt I'll be able to carry that through the looming 2ww though.

apples, any news? I've been thinking of you. My fingers are crossed for you that the situation gets resolved soon.

Oh tiger, have just logged on and seen your news and am so so sorry. Have you heard back from the hospital today?

lee I also have cold and it's doing my head in. Don't feel ill enough to take time off work, but by the same token, must have got through five packets of tissues already today. Bleurgh.

Well, today is Day 29 for me (so have updated the list below as I was a couple of days out) but absolutely no sign of AF whatsover, despite having occasional cramps and twinges now for the last six days.

Am too scared to test, quite frankly - both because I'm scared it will be a BFN, but also in case it is a BFP and all the emotions that would inevitably throw up.

Thursday list

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD52
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD37
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD37
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD32/33
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD29
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD29
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD18
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD17
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD16
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD10
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD9
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD3
Tigerbear TTC#? UCL? cycle WTF CD2

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September

Hi

Been "lurking" for a bit and would like to join please!!!!

My name's Louise, i m 38 and have just been through my 2 nd miscarriage in the last year.Last Oct had a missed miscarriage diagnosed at the 12 week scan and proceeded to have medical management which was a nightmare with the bleeding etc..... taking ages to settle down.

Got my BFP 4 weeks ago fine up till last friday when started with a tiny amount of old brown discharge no other signs and symptons.Managed to get myself a scan at EPU on Tuesday only to be informed that the pregnancy was no longer viable LO had stopped growing last Friday.Went in for ERPC yesterday which went fine.Now off for a few days from work.

Just trying to keep optimistic clinging on to the fact i ve got pregnant twice in the past so theres no reason to think it won t happen again but its soo hard........

hi louisesh we are always sorry to see new people here because it means you will have had to deal with some really difficult things but welcome all the same and glad you found us.

Oh Louise . That is really sad news. Welcome to one of the nicest threads on the board though. Everyone knows how you are feeling, and it's a great place to let off steam.

Hope you are being really good to yourself...

hi louise I'm so sorry you had to experience two MCs. Glad you found your way here though.
When I had my MC I also clung to the thought that I had become pg and so I would again. But right at the beginning, that thought had little power - the grief and sadness needed its space too! The fact that I probably could get pg again did not actually lessen the pain of losing the bean. I hope you are giving yourself time and care at this difficult time and that you have someone looking out for you a bit.

viv oh how mortifying! Still, a late period is usually a good early sign... do let us know if you cave in and do a test! All fingers and toes crossed! (not legs though, no, can't cross legs today )

Afternoon everyone,
Thanks for all the lovely messages, I really do appreciate you guys so much. I'm feeling ok today, been trying to catch up on a few work things. Hello fatlady and littleoneMum. VivCliquot - The hospital hasn't called yet, but am not holding out any hope that the blood tests will come back positive...
LeeWT - it's ok, I have my own business and work from home, so can do as little or as much as I like, whenever I like, which is a blessing.
The bleeding is hardly there anymore, and physically I feel fine. So much so that I'm going to start running again tonight, which is good. My DH is the same - he now understands why I love MN so much, but he doesn't want me getting obsessed.
Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well - hope you're better soon.

Meita - that's awful that you were away at the time of the mc . Good luck with the BD'ing!

Cheepz - no, that's fine to put me on the list. I'm just not sure what it all means though - tell me what else I need to add?

Louisesh - hello, so sorry to hear about your loss. This thread is amazing - please stay on it, and come back whenever you need to.

higuys, just been catching up on all that is going on....

sorry tiger for your loss - - early or late, its the hopes and the dreams that we mourn. stick with the thread and try again when you feel ready.

i am having prety turbulent ride with my BFP and after an early scan proved inconclusive and repeat bloods have shown my HCG are rising not doubling {3200 tues - 4564 today}like the EPAC would like, i have to be rescanned in the morning.....looks like this very much wanted pregnancy might be an ectopic...

it aint over til its over but still, the thought of it all ending again is almost too much too bear.
I personally dont feel like it is ectopic....minimal pain, no bleeding....and the scan the other day did show two black dots in my uterus which the sonographer described as possible 4 week gestation sacs...it would be a cruel blow if they turned out to be nothing as the real pregnancy is hiding in one of my tubes...

terrified of going back in to be rescanned but hey ho, still praying for positive outcome...

Tigerbear
TTC# is trying to concieve number .... ie what number child - 1 - first, 2 - second etc

UCL = usual cycle length - how many days is it

Cycle = how many cycles post mc - the one which comes straight after the mc before first period (af / aunt flo) is cycle 0 or as we have termed it the WTF cycle bwcause you never know what the f**K is going on!

CD is cycle day - so where are you in your current cycle

hope that helps

Oh Boodleboot - that is awful, how sad. Sending massive hugs to you, and really praying that things work out ok for the scan tomorrow. Fingers crossed. At least it's good that you aren't in any pain / no bleeding. Let's hope it will be ok.

Hmmm - just had a call from the hospital, and my blood tests proved inconclusive. Apparently my hcg level is 110, and she said their pg tests were supposed to detect anything above 45, so it just goes to show that their tests aren't the best! I have to go back for another blood test tomorrow morning to see if the levels are dropping (which they prob will have done).

Hi Cheepz ok, thanks for the info.
Here is are the details:
TTC 1
UCL - 28 days
Cycle - O
CD - no idea, as not had a proper period! Light bleeding still happening.

Louise welcome to the thread/sanity source that is mn!

I too have had two mc very close together one mmc and one molar pregnancy (to be confirmed on Monday) and I'm not allowed to try fir a ling while now but am still hanging out with these lovely ladies whilst waiting..
It's an awful shock to the system and you're right to take comfort from the fact that u can conceive but give yourself time to grieve also..

boodle best of luck for your scan tomorrow will have everything crossed unlike some sex addicts here

tiger so sorry for everything ur going throu your epu sound a bit of a nightmare..

viv fingers crossed for you keep us updated!!

apples any news?

tfls how's things going for you?!

Xxx