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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

1000 replies

MumOfBaby · 01/05/2009 19:11

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

OP posts:
tigerbear · 14/09/2009 11:50

Oh boodle, that's so terribly sad. All my love to you and your family. I know nothing anyone says can make it better, but remember we're all here for you, if you do decide to come back after a while.

I'm feeling up and down like a yo-yo. Saturday I felt great - went for an 11 mile run and was amazed that I could even do 1 mile let alone 11, considering I hadn't done any training for 2 weeks, since all of this started. Think was on an endorphin high and was in surprisingly high spirits.

Sunday - a totally different story. The cramp and bleeding got MUCH worse- not sure if this is still part of the mc, or my proper period, but it was - and still is - horrid. The type where pain killer make no difference at all.
Was awful to DH - didn't help when he told me to 'cheer up' on the way to church!!!! As you can imagine, my reaction to that was totally justified I think! Then I proceeded to:

  • cry through the hymns
  • cry as there was an adorable baby being christened
  • totally blanked someone we know who is due in about 3 weeks - literally turned my back on her as we left church - feel like a total bitch now - DH said she had been looking over and smiling, sort of thinking we would be going over to say hi - but couldn't face making small talk about how many weeks to go, etc
  • cried all over a friend, standing in the middle of the aisle on the way out
  • was very 'off' with the vicar on the way out (he came over to ask if I was interested in a big project for next year) - felt stupid standing there with a tear stained face, so shuffled away asap.

Things got better later in the day, and had lots of hugs from DH, but feel awful about feeling the way I do, ifyswim, especially when people like boodle have been through so much worse.

Feel much better today emotionally, but stupid cramp pains are still here.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 12:05

chin up tiger its a rollercoaster, you are entitled to feel just as crap and emotionally turbulent as this and all can say is that things will settle and you will get stronger and more stable as time goes on.

LittleOneMum · 14/09/2009 14:11

Oh . Tiger and Boodle it is such sad news and I can't bear it. Wish there was something I could do.

Viv - great news. Really happy for you. Still pg this end too but still failing to feel any excitement as yet...

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 22:39

Am trying to pick myself up off the floor and dust off - its been a tough month with whats happened to poor LeeWT and Boodle having gone through so much of their pain in post MC TTC and then joy at BFP's last month to have them both lose their beans again this month is too much to bear.

2WW is getting to me as well, much as I am trying to be indifferent I am not! 1 week to go and I am still determined not to waste a single penny on doing a test until I am at least 4 days past CD28 I have had no indication at all that the one time DH and I managed to 'do it' in our window was sufficient.

tiger hope you are bearing up ok and apples are you going for 60?

beginning to wonder if em22 and trixel are still with us

and zayja you must be due soon although recall you thought AF was gonna get you...

zayja · 15/09/2009 01:10

Hi Ladies,
Just catching up with the news here and am so sad for you tiger and boodle. It's beyond shit and I don't know what to say to you, except I'm sorry, and I hope things get better with time.

I've been missing you ladies as I'm so busy now being back to work and working on a sculpture for an art competition. I will try to check in as often as I can.

Well, AF got me as suspected. No crying this time though! Hoping for next month I'm now on CD3 so I'll update the list.
BIG CONGRATS to littleonemum and viv! Hoping for healthy sticky beans for you both.

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD56
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD41
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD41
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD36/37
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD22
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD21
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD20
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD14
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD14
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD7
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD6?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD3

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (molar pgy)
boodleboot (ectopic )
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September

Cheepz · 15/09/2009 09:50

hiya

looked at my persona this morning and it seems I am on cd23 not 22 so have missed a day somewhere - have updated list!! every day closer counts!

sorry to hear AF gotcha zayja but i think you expected it and it sounds like you are taking a sage view on things

hope everyone else doing ok today

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD56
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD41
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD41
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD36/37
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD23
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD21
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD20
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD14
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD14
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD7
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD6?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD3

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (molar pgy)
boodleboot (ectopic )
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September

Meita · 15/09/2009 10:41

zayja sorry that AF got you. At least you know you ovulated! How many days past ovulation did AF arrive? If that is 10 days or less, you should perhaps think of discussing it with your doc - especially if it happens again.

cheepz I think the whole list was "off" simply because Zayja is in the US (I believe) and so she posted another Monday list, when for us here it's already Tuesday. So I'm sending another Tuesday list, hoping it's right this time!

Tuesday
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD57
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD42
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD42
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD37/38
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD23
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD22
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD21
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD15
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD15
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD8
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD7?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD4

I've also wondered about em, trixel and also barrenbrook. Should we put them on a "missing" list once their CD goes past 10 days beyond their UCL without any news?

apples how are you holding out up there?

tfls how are things with PILs? I hope you got some BD in all the same!

me: Well it's CD21 and CM has dried up. But no sign of ovulation far and wide (CB OPK gave me only -ves, and no temp surge either). So I am, grudgingly, resigning myself to another long wait. I just hope I will eventually ovulate, and hopefully not just then when DP is away next week. I suspect last cycle might have been anovulatory (there was a temp shift but only a slight one) and if this one is anovulatory too, I will start being rather upset.
When I had a really long cycle sometime last year, I was tested for PCOS and early menopause (eek!) but all came back clear. I am starting to wonder if I should have the tests done again. But probably I'm just talking myself into a panic. [wills herself to calm down smiley]

tigerbear · 15/09/2009 14:26

Hi everyone, just wanted to say hello.
Cheepz - STEP AWAY FROM THE TESTS!
Hello Meita - I'm sure everything will be ok

LittleoneMum - have you got any symptoms yet?

Cheepz · 15/09/2009 14:54

I think an MIA list would be good - for people who are +10 and haven't updated for a while, we can then wait and see if they come back or not

I will not buy test i will not buy tests - am going to france early on thursday and not back til next tuesday so as long as i dont buy any before i go i won't be able to test till i am on cd 30 even if i wanted to

meita sometimes I think we can be too scientific about these things and you may have ovulated but not registered it in the normal way - its like with pregnancy sometimes symptoms are strong and sometimes not so LittleOneMum you must not worry either

LeeWT · 15/09/2009 16:24

Hi all,

thought i'd give an update that the hospital came back to say it was NOT a molar pregnancy and I dont need further treatment..

Cant tell you how relieved I am and now I know there was a real baby in there that I can grieve for..

Am still going to take a break from TTC maybe til after xmas but would still like to hang out with you lovely gals and send you babydust until then!

xxx

Meita · 15/09/2009 16:46

oh lee that's such good news! I am so relieved for you. In a strange way though. Molar would have been frightening and a huge set-back and might have had really bad consequences, so it's really really good that it isn't molar. On the other hand, what it also means, as you pointed out, is that there was a bean growing and then you had a MC. So am sending you lots of (((hugs))) once again - and of course, pleeeeease hang out with us here!

Cheepz · 15/09/2009 18:17

leewt what meita said xxx

Cheepz · 15/09/2009 21:47

Have split the list so we have list, missing in action and grads, putting to MIA once 10 days over UCL and no updates for a while - we can always move back when we have news but saves updating and makes it easier to track

have realised that bar apples whose waiting for AF I am now at the top of the list. Have no tests in the house, pit stop at Tesco tomorrow for toddler supplies for our trip will be last test of strength before depart for france

No symptoms, boobs as normal, few twinges in the belly but nothing that feels like anything IYSWIM. Will have to wait and see.

Glad you are going to hang around LeeWT

Everyone is very quiet .....

Tuesday
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD57
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD23
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD22
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD21
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD15
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD15
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD8
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD7?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD4

MIA
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD42
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD42
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD37/38

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (mc)
boodleboot (ectopic)
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September

MrsRigby · 15/09/2009 22:07

Evening

I still don't really know what to say after what has happened to leewt, tigerbear and boodleboot.

I'm so sad for them .

As you can see I'm on CD8, DH and I have already had sex last night and the night before (optimistic I know).

Just been speaking to DH and he reckons I'm already pregnant because I'm being moody with him - yeh, nothing to do with me wanting to go to bed as DS is going to wake me up in an hour.

LittleOneMum · 16/09/2009 09:25

Good news, Lee !

Still no symptoms, other than utter exhaustion but that's only because this week my job has taken me to Leeds and Cardiff and now I have an all day meeting in London.

Am stressing. With last pg I felt sick. This time, nothing. Still, early scan on Monday so I guess we will see. Am refusing to get excited ... (still).

VivClicquot · 16/09/2009 09:45

Morning ladies

Like MrsRigby I don't really know what to say after everything that has happened to leewt, tigerbear and boodleboot.

Part of me feels guilty that things seem to be working out for me, and at the same time, I'm still a little bit terrified that it's all a bit too good to be true and something's going to come and bite me on the bum again.

That said, I am feeling reasonably positive - I went to the EPU on Friday who took a blood test and then went back again on Sunday for the second one. My hcg levels had more than doubled (gone up from 250 to 750 in 48 hours ) so all looks well so far. They've also booked me in for a scan on 1st October, so at least I know that's in the diary.

Apart from that, I'm throwing myself into the wedding planning to take my mind off worrying about the pregnancy. Eight weeks to go!

applesaretheonlyfruit · 16/09/2009 14:25

Notice:

Lost - one AF. !!!!

barrenbrook · 16/09/2009 20:19

Hello... I'm no longer missing, I was AWOL, well on hols with DH and work has been mad, crazy busy since getting back.

Leewt, Tigerbear and Boodlebot I am so very sorry for your losses Leewt, on a positive note I had a suspected molar but after a couple of months of testing I was told it was just a 'regular' m/c and could carry on, fingers crossed it may be the same for you x

Viv, Becky and Little, congrats on your wonderful news x

Wednesday
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD58
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD24
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD23
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD22
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD16
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD16
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 5 CD12
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD8
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD8?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD5

MIA
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD43
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD43

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (mc)
boodleboot (ectopic)
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September

Cheepz · 16/09/2009 21:36

wahey barrenbrook is back. Seems liek AF got you though [hmmm]

i managed not to buy a test today so will be off to france without any means to do early low percentage chance tests which is a big plus as far as i am concerned - by the time i get back there will be AF or I will be on CD30. I suspect the former but even if its the latter am inclined to wait until I am past CD32 before testing - I know I am a sadist although its more self protection. If I am pregnant I will be worried, If I am not I will be dissappointed - where is the upside!

viv and littleone glad you are both doing ok and things seem to be progressing

mrsr props for doing it when you didn't have to!!

right - off to pack a box of toys for ds, can't quite believe how much stuff we need for 5 day trip - although includes wedding so there is all that stuff to take

oh yeah have been meaning to moan, can you believe dh is best man so we have to go, but no kids for the saturdy night reception - when i asked what i should do about ds they said don't worry there is someone who looks after one of the other guests kids who is looking after another toddler in your hotel so give her the monitor and she can listen in on yours - oh and the reception is in a chateau where you can't book rooms so we have to drive there ... so they expect me to leave him with someone i don't know, in a hotel room, with only someone listening in, in a foreign country when I am not even in the building. I have said unless he can go down in the room with the babysitter (she is nursery manager who looks after two of the other guests kids so is qualified at least) and that I can get him to sleep before I leave then I will go for the dinner support ds when he does speech (he is nervous) and then go back again and skip the rest of the evening hopefully before ds wakes up. I mean I know I must sound neurotic but I think its really crap to get married abroad and say but you cant bring your kids. In the UK sure - would leave them with folks or friends or a babysitter he knows for the night, but this has been so hard and strssful and am still not sure will be able to leave him when it comes to it. Am going to have to see how I feel and what it is like when I get there and then decide - bride said to me - well I need to know now so we can rethink the top table if you are not going to be there ..... I jsut said am happy to not be on the top table so if I dont make it because he wont settle or am not happy with anything then I won't feel like I am messing everything up.

I suppose this should be on an Am I Being Unreasonable thread!

Meita · 16/09/2009 22:02

cheepz well I don't think you are being unreasonable. I do hope you get to enjoy the wedding and wish you a great time! And when you get back, bring us some news - we'll be waiting!

barrenbrook welcome back, hope you enjoyed your hols, and that work stress is letting up a bit now.

I am again hopeful that I might be ovulating - temp dip today which often precedes surge. Though OPK didn't tell. Though I didn't test yesterday (as had run out and new ones arrived only today), what's the bet that it would have shown +ve yesterday?

zayja · 17/09/2009 11:14

cheepz, I second what meita sad, not unreasonable at all. Strange what some folks w/o children expect you to do, eh?

meita, I think it's possible you could've gotten a + yesterday. The temp surge usually happens after ov so if you start seeing temp. go up, get on it! (dh that is ) I normally get a + for 2-3 days during LH surge, do you know what's normal for you? Also, last time I ov CD 18-20 and then AF arrived on CD31 so I think that was decent timing, right? Long enough luteal phase?

apples WTF is up w/ AF? Have you done a PG test? Either way, I would call your GP to ask if there's anything you can/should do. How frustrating!

Welcome back barrenbrook sorry AF got you too!

meesee · 17/09/2009 12:37

Hi
Just new to this thread. Im going through my fifth miscarriage at the mo.

Just wondering how long should I wait to try again? I know alot of you ahve had similiar experiences and need advice.

Meita · 17/09/2009 12:38

Hello ladies
Just saying hi - I hope everyone is ok.
apples I second what zayja said - did you talk to your GP?
zayja yes, seems to me to be ok in terms of luteal phase length. If it were 11 days (ovulated on CD20) then it would be rather short but still ok. If you ovulated on CD18 it would be 13 days which is very much fine. Do you know if your luteal phases are usually around this length? Most people are between 12 and 16 days.
Oh and good luck with that artwork!

I still don't really know what's going on. Temp went up today but still way below usual CL. If it continues rising tomorrow I'll assume I ovulated yesterday or today (we did our bit yesterday so are covered for this eventuality). If it dips again tomorrow I'll be back to 0. Except if OPK decides to give me a +ve sometime (I've never used them before so don't know if they'd show +ve more than once, zayja). We'll just continue with our "every second night" schedule though it is starting to be a bit, umm, strained. Well DP is leaving next Tuesday so I'd better have ovulated by then!

Thursday
Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD59
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD25
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD24
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD23
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD17
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD17
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 5 CD13
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD9
Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL28 cycle WTF CD9?
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 5 CD6

MIA
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD44
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD44

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (mc)
boodleboot (ectopic)
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
VivCliquot BFP 10th September

Meita · 17/09/2009 12:58

Oh meesee so sorry to hear that. Five MCs, what a horror! Have you been monitored for what might be causing this? Usually you get referred after three MCs, I believe. In that case I would consult your doctor about when to TTC again.

There are differing opinions out there. Some doctors say to wait until first "normal" AF after MC and then start trying. The reason is often that otherwise it will be difficult to date if you do get pg immediately. On the other hand, many doctors give you the immediate go-ahead as they would be able to date your bean at your first scan anyway. In general they do recommend to wait until the bleeding has stopped to avoid risking infection.

Us affected women also have differing opinions. On www.pregnancyloss.com the page author recommends waiting until after first regular AF. Her reason is that if you TTC immediately, you won't know what's going on (on here, we call it the "wtf-cycle" for that reason). For instance, you won't know when to expect to be ovulating; OPKs might give you false results; CM might give you wrong indications; and HPT are tricky because you won't know when to start using them as the WTF cycle can easily be much longer than your UCL; and if you're unlucky they might show + even if you're not pg, due to remaining pg-hormones from your last pgy. So this might all be quite distressing, and expensive if you splurge out on OPKs and HPTs! You can save yourself this tension and stress by waiting until your first "proper" cycle. Another argument for waiting is that it can help avoiding the feeling, if you conceive again quickly, that it is just a continuation of your previous pgy. You get the chance to properly grieve your lost bean and to welcome the new bean as a new bean.

On the other hand, many of us on here did TTC again immediately. For me, it did help to have the feeling I was doing something positive towards conceiving again, rather than just looking backwards and being sad. (Though I did get all the trouble mentioned above, too, and wasted lots of ££ on meaningless tests.) Also, stats show increased fertility immediately after MCs (your body is still in pgy-mode and wants to get pg again, so to say) so for me it made sense to try to make the most of that increased fertility. Focusing on TTC rather than on the MC did help me look forward and get on with work and stuff, though the grief about the MC sometimes came back to "bite me in the bum" as someone said, at odd and inconvenient moments.

Over all, if there aren't any clear and convincing medical reasons (as for instance if your pgy was molar), then I think it is really up to how you feel. If you and your DP/DH feel up to it and want to, then go ahead and TTC. Just don't expect any miracles (the fun about miracles is that they happen unexpectedly).

Anyway, welcome here, I'm glad you found your way here, although sad for the reasons.

LittleOneMum · 17/09/2009 13:11

Hi meesee and sorry to hear your story... Nightmare. You've found a good place though.

I don't think I can add much to what Meita has already said save that I am (at the moment) one of these odd people who appears to have conceived in the month immediately after the M/C - put it this way, I did not have my AF at all since I MCed on 2 August. It's early days though, so I have no idea if it will work out.

So I guess I am proof that you can get pg if you try again straight away - but it's different for everyone. x

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