Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

[MumOfBaby]

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

zayja are you expecting a longer-than-usual cycle then? Fingers crossed for you!

viv oh, I've been wanting to go see that film. Like you, I read the book a few years ago (loved it!), had forgotten about the MC too. Will think about it again. Thanks for the hint. How are you otherwise?

Has anyone seen "My sister's keeper"? The topic of the film interests me. It's about a girl who was conceived in order to provide donor tissue for her sick older sister. Lots of complicated ethical conundrums and morality issues here.

lee, sorry to hear you're having a rough time with dh. that's so hard, on top of everything. I wish we could do more for you.

Cheepz tha k you so much the tears just rolled down my face when I realised I wasn't alone reading your post. Just after I wrote my last post dh and I had the worst fight I think we've ever had. He was shouting and I was screaming and crying an he said the most awful things. He said I needed to leave the house until I could cope and that I was a nightmare to live with and there wasn't another man would be able to cope with it. I tried to tell him that the only times I've been upset, down or difficult are when he snaps at me. My friends and (useless) family live in another city completely and my best friend here is away on hols I feel so alone. I swear on dd's life I have been so strong following this mc but all he cares about is that he has work to do and he can't cope with stress.. I only have him so when he turns on me I can't do it. And I'm so angry he has set me back emotionally and physically - I was doing so well- I am now nauseous and the cramps are back and that's pure stress.

Thanks for listening girls, my friends love dh so dearly I couldn't tell them he's being like this..

Littleonemum - that's great news!

Lee - so sorry that you are having problems with DH. It just isn't the same for the men and I'm finding that nobody at all understands how I feel unless they have been through a m/c themselves. You are doing exceptionally well at holding it all together, hang in there.

I have updated the list as my stats had gone wonky. Current AF is dreadful, more like the m/c than a period. I just want it to be over.

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD49
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL ? cycle 1 CD38
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD34
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD34
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD29/30
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD26
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD24
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD15
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD14
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD13
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD7
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD6

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September

Evening

littleonemum congratulations .

cheepz it's definately worth another go, as you may not have ovulated on CD14 or if you did, you could still be fertile and don't forget sperm can survive in the uterus for up to 5 days .

leewt the mc threads aren't fun . I find screaming back at my DH helps. Just don't let your DH get to you, ignore him, I find that also helps. A knife through his chest should also help.

vivclicquot sounds positive, my fingers are crossed for you.

meita I think you've broken my record for the longest post on a thread . Yes, I suffer from PCOS, currently on metformin 850mg twice a day - not that it's making any difference . Looks like I'll be paying the gynaecologist a visit soon for some clomid.

zayja never seen Forget Paris.

Sorry, I'm pissed off that I'm on CD38, DH is getting to me and I'm starting to get fed up with everyone else getting pregnant.

I could kill, anyone want to hire me?

tigerbear your pregnant .

Oh Lee, I feel so awful for you. I know I depend on my dh b/c he is the closest to me, but when he turns or snaps, it's like I have NO stable ground. You need somebody to be taking care of you and dd right now! Any chance you can call in family, yours or his, even though they live elsewhere? That would take some of the load off you and dh. And with others around, dh would be less likely to snap at you.
Well you're not alone, your MN friends are here. Keep posting as needed and I hope you find some comfort, resolve your fight and get some friends and family to help! {{{big hugs}}}

Well meita, I am expecting a least a little longer cycle b/c of just ovulating last weekend. GP says AF should start 10-14d post ov. OF COURSE, fingers crossed for BFP accompanied by 9mos with no AF. I must say though, that I don't feel pg this mo. Oh well!

thanks everyone.. Zayja you summed it up so right that when that happens there is no stable ground and nowhere to go.

well dh and i have somewhat resolved things. i have been at him for YEARS to go to stress management counselling as anything from breaking a cup can set him off. i explained to him that today was unforgiveable and he has to stop turning on me everytime things get stressful instead of fighting things together. he agreed.. for now..

re our families .. useless wouldnt be the word. DH has three sisters and his widowed dad. none of them drive, they are all incredibly self centred and even one of them offered to mind dd on sunday but then text saying she had made other plans. there is no getting through to them. my mum is just not like other mums. she loves me but has never put me no 1 and i dont know why i'm surprised or hurt at times like this when she doesnt come through for me.

I DREAM of mothers who come over and cook a lasagne and take the baby for a couple of hours.. mothers who jump in their car the minute they hear of something wrong so they can help. in fact if i could abduct someone elses mother i would

thanks again everyone for the support and mrs rigby, i have several people you could cheerfully stab for me right now!!

Evening everyone.
Sorry to hear you're having problems with your DH LeeWT - in fact, WHAT is going on with the menfolk right now - all of us seem to be having DH arguments / disagreements.
What Cheepz said was spot on - sometimes it's just the sheer differences between men and women, which are shown in all their glory, when it comes to this TTC / MC / PG lark.

Well, you may not be surprised to know that I just could not wait until tomorrow, and ended up doing the Clearblue test this evening - it says 2-3 weeks pg!!!!!!!
I'm starting to believe it might be real, but still not sure. DH is pleased, however isn't getting too excited (he wants to get an 'official' positive from me going to the Doctor or hospital to get checked, as I don't think he trusts the home tests). I'm trying not to get too excited, but it's hard not to!

Sprinkling the baby dust far and wide to you all!

tiger congrats!!! get thee to an epu in the next week or so and they'll be able to confirm things too! delighted for you

Thanks LeeWT!

tiger soooo happy - thats three for three - soon the grads list will be longer than the ttc list - mind you this is one thread where we don't get excited about new recruits so thats a great thing

mrsr might be pushing my luck to go two for two in terms of nights in a row, but have had cramping all day so think might have ov'd today so one tomorrow might be on the cards just to be sure and last night would definitely be close enough if I ov'd today (specially since i spent all night with a cushion under my butt so it didn't all run down hill - tmi i know)

lee sometimes a really good bust up is just what it takes to clear the air and get the issues on the table. sorry to hear you don't have good support from your family - it makes such a difference to me - and especially when you have a dh who doesn't deal well with emotional stuff and stresses about work and other thigns alot ... from your posts and I may just be guessing you sound alot like me - you are a coper, you deal with everything in the house the kid, work and everything and your dh is used to having you be fit and well and on emotionally top of things - my dh is terrible when i am sick - its like a massive inconvenience for me to be not doing all the stuff i just cope with normally, or if I cry and am not dealing with something he doesn't like it because he is used to me being totally together. Try and be strong and recognise that you have it within you to deal with this too. Sounds like hes not giving you anywhere near the support you want - but I can tell you you don't need it. You have it all within yourself to get through this. I just know it. Hope you get a good night. xx

Just popping on to see how everyone's getting one. Great news about the BFPs! Congrats to tiger, becky and littleonemum.

So sorry to hear about the arguments with DH lee. Hope things get better soon.

thanks again all. had a good talk with dh and he has agreed to phone this morning about stress management counselling..

Cant believe we've three grads in such a short space of time

Am sending DD to nursery today so i can get a rest.. she has a cold but i think she'll survive..

Anyway on a more positive note than concentrating on men are from mars - ive decided to join a local gym. Am still a stone heavier than when I got pregnant with DD three years ago so have decided that the upside of having to wait to get preg would be to be in better shape. (am size 16-18) so could well do with getting rid of a stone or ten and it would be nice to have some time to myself..

What up people at the top of the list?!

Mrs R - tell us of your most recent exploits!

And thanks everyone for letting me stay here when i'm the only one NTTC!

Tiger, HURRAY!!!!!!!! I am so delighted - when you are ready, shall we join the 'Due in May' antenatal thread (I've been too nervous yet)?

Mrs Rigby - I'm sorry . Tries to pass on some patience dust as well as baby dust

Come and join our Totally grads thread - far less scary than joining a bus

I'd love to, but I can't find it... can you link it?

Here it is www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/812791-Totally-39-s-GRADS-lets-handhold-thru-this

Whooo hoooo another 3 grads. That's brilliant news LittleOneMum, Tiger and Becky. Huge congrats to you all. Last time I didn't post for a while there was an outbreak of BFPs. Must post less often!

Lee you've got to stay on the crazy board with us! You are our very special honorary NTTC member . Sorry to hear about the troubles with DH - hopefull it will mean he tries to resolve things properly, for good. You must have felt so lonely when he of all people turned on you. Also sorry you don't have much family support and I'm a bit at your mother/SILs. If you live anywhere nears Bucks, I'll be round with that lasagne....

apples - has AF finally made an appearance?? I didn't think anyone could beat meita. I feel a bit off moaning about my short cycle compared to the epic waits you and meita have put up with.

Thanks for the tip-off about the Time Traveller's Wife viv - would rather avoid that for now.

meita - you should be coming up to the buzy time? I don't think I've got the energy after last month's epic attempt (I knew the blasted monitor was probably wrong but when it said High I didn't want to miss a chance....)

Got my PIL arriving tomorrow for a month. They are absolutely lovely but not brilliant timing as we are both manic with work and absolutely knackered. Their visit means we can't take a holiday until the end of the year. Drat. Also means frantic late night cleaning of our pigsty house tonight.

Well, I am now officially on CD50 after ERPC. Very strange. When AF does arrive I imagine it will be appalling..

Weirdly, I think will there might be a LOT of er, stuff to come out. I mean, when I became pregnant before mc, I was just under 8 stone, with about 6pc body fat (don't know what that means, but on scales - which are for Dh by the way because he needs to loss some weight). Anyway, today I am 8 stone 1, and I appear to have a body fat thing of 23per cent. That cannot be right. In the last 50 days I have had 10 days of v v slight spotting, well not even spotting really.

I am FREAK woman.

Oh yeah, I understand some of you have had the NERVE to get pregnant while I am still in wtf land. Talk about selfish!!

Gday ladies

All well in Cheepz land today, work is quiet, home is in order, passed up on bd last night but dh and I are trying to learn french so tonight is french night so I am thinking good food, maybe a little wine and some badly spoken french and we might be away.

lee what tfls said - its not that you are NTTC more WTTC (waiting) so stay put for goodness sake.

apples bravo {cheepz plays fanfare} 50 days is quite an achievement.

Tuesday list

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 cycle WTF CD50
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL ? cycle 1 CD39
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD35
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD35
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD30/31
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD27
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD16
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD15
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD14
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD8
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD7

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September
Tigerbear BFP 8th September

Hello all,
LittleoneMum and Amyboo - I would love to go on the bus / grads threads, but am not feeling it is very real yet.
DH was pleased last night, but doesn't really believe it is true from the home tests, and I'm inclined to agree. I'm trying not to get too excited just yet. Have tried making an appointment at the EPU, but no-one ever picks up the phone.

Can anyone tell me exactly what happens when you go for an appt at the EPU? What do they do?

MrsRigby I know, I sometimes get caught up in things and before I know it, I've written way more than I had planned. TTC with PCOS is got to be tough on your patience. Did it get worse since conceiving DC1? Is there a big difference between Metformin and Clomid?

DH/DP difficulties My DP said yesterday "Why do you keep going to MN? What good is it? It's just a waste of time, isn't it?" I wanted to explain why: Because at the time when I most needed (emotional) support after the MC, he wasn't there for me, as he was dealing with his own piece of stress (finishing off and submitting his PhD thesis). So I came here instead and found you lovely ladies. Am not going to just quit again now that HE has more time... But then I decided to just say that I like coming here because I can talk about things with you lot, and you understand. I didn't want to "blame" him - I for one am terribly relieved he's finally got that thing done, and am grateful that everything is much more relaxed now. It was a rough time, and I would have wished for things to have been different - but we came through it alright and there is no point in going back and distributing blame.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: I can totally relate to your experiences of feeling let down by your DHs. Lee, I've been thinking, if your friends all love your DH so much, isn't it possible that this is because you never tell them of his more negative sides? Even if they genuinely have a positive image of him, if you tell them what happened, I'm sure they would be supportive. Maybe you could risk it and confide in one of them? I was just thinking, as family is obviously unsupportive , friends would be the next place to look for support and help. I mean, we will always be here for emotional support, but there is little we can do in practical terms.
Anyway, the gym sounds like a great idea. Way to go!

apples, please don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault and you're not a freak, either! More women than you'd think have very long cycles, especially after MC. A while back I once had a 12-week cycle - went to see a GP who did some tests but suddenly AF was in a hurry and arrived before the test results did. It's just one of those things. They happen. Often at the most inconvenient and frustrating times. Hang on in there!
Still... (hands over official prize for reaching CD50)

tfls yep, starting to be busy around here. This time, we both know what the deal is, and we have time and leisure, and are going about it in a rather relaxed way - without missing any important opportunities. Sorry to hear that you are so knackered. I hope your monitor will give you better clues this time round - then one strategic event of BD could have more success than all of last cycle's efforts. That should be manageable even with PILs in the house... (don't envy you that! A whole month? Why are they coming to stay for such a long time?)

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD50
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL ? cycle 1 CD39
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD35
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD35
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD30/31
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD27
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD16
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD15
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD14
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD8
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD7

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
tigerbear
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September

oops - messages crossed - sorry 'bout posting new list a second time after cheepz did already.

Evening

WARNING WARNING WARNING - I am not in a good mood .

I contacted my manager to inquire about a reduction in hours when I return to work in November (not that I want to go back) and basically they can't give me what I want. If I do decide to go part time it affects not only my salary and annual leave, but maternity leave. I don't know what to do, time is running out fast and it seems that I'm waiting for a solution to just appear out of nowhere.

I've been thinking of working from home, but don't know what to do.

DH say's we need about £200 a month, so I'm sitting here trying to think of somethink I can do from home that will bring in about £200 a month. Any ideas?

I've no idea wether DH is on the line or not. He deals with the financial side of things. He's allocated £200 to each of us to spend a month and won't consider taking away mine. He doesn't think spending less on shopping will make any difference. He's still donating to charity and I think he's putting money into a savings account. Maybe he's just playing it safe.

I just keep crying, I can't bring myself to talk to DH.

I suffered postnatal depression after DS was born and didn't bond with him or feel any love for him until about 3 months ago.

I feel that he's being taken away from me, just as I've started to love him and enjoy being with him.

Okay I'm welling up again...

I don't know, I don't know if I'm making any sense.

On top of all that, I've had some spotting. CD39 I won't hold my breath that it's implantation spotting, more likely I'm finally going to have a period in a day or two.