Just MC'd. Starting it all again.. Come and join me for the long haul.

[MumOfBaby]

Hi all.

Needing some extra support this time round as have just had a MC. We are trying again straight away. But I've a feeling it's going to take ages. Got pregnant first month trying last 2 times. I have 1 DC- 11 months.

I want some people to join this thread who are ready to hold hands and help each other through the TTC.

Good luck to all.

zayja I have no family or friends - just you guys and when DH kicks off at me, I have no one to talk to and nowhere to go.

leewt my DH is the same, is very easily stressed and takes it out on me. BTW give me the names of those you want taken care of. I'll do it for free.

tigerbear told you, told you .

cheepz my being sick is an inconvenience to my DH, also my crying is emotional blackmail.

Tell me about it applesaretheonlyfruit the nerve of these graduates .

meita after being prescribed metformin (a drug for diabetes, diabetes being very closely linked to PCOS) we conceived DS after about 3 months. I'm still on metformin and we've been TTC now for almost 3 months. Clomid is a fertility drug (metformin isn't) and is usually successful in helping women to conceive - the side effect being that there's a high chance of conceiving twins or more. Not that I'd mind having twins or more.

TFLS i'm in Belfast but you can send me a virtual lasagne with no onions pleeeease!

cheepz you got me in one chick and its nice to know i'm not alone.. am back to positive in charge lee now and dh, dd and I have rented a cottage in the fermanagh lakelands that is tidier, prettier and got more plasma tvs than mine so am focussing on that..

mrs rigby this might sound old fashioned and silly but if all you really need is £200 a month could you:

• do avon, if you got a good customer base up at 25% commission if you were business like you could make good money
• do a part-time job in a shop or post-office
• make wedding invites or buy/sell on ebay

just few random ideas but i know this much, if you have had post-natal depression and have only gotten to enjoy your dc the last three months then going back to full time work would be very hard and if you only need £200 i'd say there's loads of ways for you to achieve that and still be at home loads.. really feel for you and hope you sort it out..

apples/meita/mrs r the long cycles must be a pain in the ass god knows when mine will come back at all..

in leeland, have made the mistake of doing too much today, went to tesco and did a mega shop and am now in agony attached to a hot water bottle and popping neurofen!

Definately on a period now, I suppose I should be happy about that at least.

Went to bed about an hour ago, DH fell asleep, I started crying uncontrolably, DH and I had an argument and DH has walked out.

Apples TTC#3 UCL 28 CD50
em22 TTC#? UCL 28 cycle 3 CD35
trixel TTC#3 UCL 28-35 cycle 7 CD35
Barrenbrook TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD30/31
Zayja TTC#1 UCL 24-27 cycle 4 CD27
VivCliquot TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD25
Cheepz TTC#2 UCL 27-28 cycle 1 CD16
Waiting TTC#1 UCL 26-33 cycle 1 CD15
Meita TTC#1 UCL 30-34 cycle 1 CD14
Chamois TTC#1 UCL? cycle 1 CD8
TFLS TTC#1 UCL 28 cycle 2 CD7
MrsRigby TTC#2 UCL? cycle 2 CD1

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
leewt (suspect molar pgy / mc weds 2nd sept)
boodleboot BFP 21st August
Stressy BFP 22nd August
becky78 BFP 4th September
tigerbear
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September

lee one virtual lasagne with garlic bread, green salad and a nice bottle of vino coming up (and all calorie free as an extra bonus) . Hope you manage to sleep OK tonight despite the discomfort.

mrsR - sorry to post and dash but I used to be a HR manager so if I can do anything to help let me know. I'm pretty out of date though.... but hopefully between everyone we can find a solution [hopeful face]. Please don't cry - I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems.

Wish we all lived in the same area. That could be a very fun evening (but can you imagine sitting at the next table overhearing our conversation though.....)

Also can I ask (i asked in mc thread too but I know you guys) how long did you take off work after your mc?

i took 7 working days after my mmc in may and didnt feel it was long enough.. and am not really inclined to go back anytime soon after this one. for one thing my hormone level is still high and i'm getting bad cramps..

would be interested to see how long you guys took

x

Crossed posts with you mrsR. What a lousy night. Hopefully he'll be back soon. Hope you're OK???

I'm sure there is a real emotional fall out in the period after m/c which will pass. It just seems black at times.

Can you find something to distract you?

Thanks TFLS and yes that would be a great night out!!

Oh mrsrigby please dont feel alone. I know only too well the dispair and loneliness that comes with emotions like these.. yesterday after the fight with dh i ended up on the floor in my bedroom crying uncontrollably but you can and will sort this out..

you dont have to make a decision yet and you still can work out a way to have some meaningful dialogue with dh

please dont cry you'll set me off (insert basketcase emoticon here)

loads of love and virtual support, and okayyy, some of my virtual fat free lasagne and wine from TFLS..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I took a couple of days lee but I mainly work from home so it was slightly different. Also I m/c over a weekend. To be honest, with hindsight I took far too little time. I achieved nothing on the days when I was trying to work and I'm sure I only made things harder for myself as I got in a vicious circle of feeling depressed and cross with myself for not achieving anything. But I was so flat I found it impossible to focus on work (I know others have found it a distraction). DH had a go at me in the end and I took a couple more days off and really turned a corner.

I guess it's a very individual thing but I wouldn't overhurry to go back if I were you.

How sympathetic are work?

To be fair tfls work are in no hurry to see me back and my gp will let me stay off as long as I need, within reason, so that's not an issue.

Played with my dd properly for the first time in 4 weeks as I've been so sick so I guess I feel I've some way to go to getting our little family back on track..

Mrs rigby are you ok? X

lee you desperately deserve some happiness with your daughter at the moment so I wouldn't worry about any supposed "norm" for time off. Plus you have a more complicated situation with the molar side.

MrsR - really hope that you are making up with MrR at the moment.... I need to log off but will check back first thing. Hope you get some sleep tonight. Take care.

MrsRigby - sending a virtual hug to you. I hope you're ok. Has your DH come back yet / anything been resolved?

Practical ways to make £200 per month:
Ebay stuff?
What did you used to work as? Can you turn any of the skills you had there into something else? Something you can do from home?
Make things to sell on Etsy / to local stores (only works out if you're inclined towards actually making stuff, obv!)
I'll try to think of some more (and will have to take my own advice, as I'm not making much money right now!).

Take care, and let us know how you're doing.
x

Virtual hug to everyone else too - we all need a bit of comfort - GROUP HUG!!!! (sorry to go all American on you!)

Morning.

He came back last night. This morning we're not talking and he's acting like nothing has happened.

He just kept going on last night about wanting a safety net, he doesn't seem to understand how bad things are. He wouldn't be bothered if I went on anti-depressants, he suggested going on them before. He told me I'll be okay when I go back to work.

Basically it's not so much about the money, more what he wants, that's the message I'm getting.

I'm going to the baby clinic tomorrow, so I'll ask the doctor if he can sign me of work with stress.

MrsR - I'm dashing to the airport to pick up PIL. Will post later. Hang in there.

mrsr seems like we are all having a rubbish time from our dh's at the mo... but you have taken over from Lee as being top of my 'welfare check' list. Seems like your dh is winner of prize for 'top class arse' at the moment, hang on in there as TFLS says.
Definitely don't think you should go back to work if you are just now bonding with ds as its such an important time for you and you won't get it back.

I am sure there must be things you could do from home - envelope stuffing - you could get your ds to do it with you ;)

I am in the office today in London (normally I can get away with working in the Burbs office) for bbig presentation to Exec team, last thing I feel like right now but hey ho

Also have a hen night on the weekend where they want me to wear a french maid outfit - i would rather boil my own head in batter, I don't think people who are in a wierd place emoptionally should be made to dress up, its just very wrong.

right must crack on

Oh, Mrs. R

I don't really know what to say except good luck at the doctor's and I feel like writing you a cheque for £200 right now!

Boil my own head in batter am laughing very loudly at that cheepz mrsrigby perhaps instead of a ttc list we could have a running board of twat levels of our dh\dps.

Batter go hahahahahahaha

If anyone's around, please could someone give me a virtual hug / come talk to me for a bit?
I've just been to the EPAU, did the weeing in bottle thing, doctor asked me to go and undress behind the curtain so we could do the scan- when I came out, she said my test was negative.
She did a blood test to make sure, and will call me tomorrow with the results.

Came straight home and been crying ever since.
Couldn't believe that it was negative, when the digital test I did on Monday said I was 2-3 weeks, along with all of the other FIVE FUCKING TESTS!!!!! (sorry, don't normally swear).
So have just done ANOTHER digi test, which still says pg, but now 1-2 weeks. So I guess I must have mc'd yesterday, and the hormone levels are dropping quickly.
So sad and disappointed. DH doesn't even know yet, as he's not picking up his phone.

oh tigerbear, so sorry to hear that.
have you managed to reach your DH yet?

I'm here, hoping you're not all alone. After this week of not knowing, being stuck between worry and hope, you must have been at your limits anyway, and now this. It's such pain, such a loss, so much sadness. Is there anyone else you can call? Someone who will come and be with you for a bit?

Hi Meita, thanks for posting. I just spoke to DH, and he's coming home from work in the next half hour. Just spoke to my Mum too. One minute I feel ok, and the next I'm crying (can't see the key board for tears). I feel a bit of a fraud too, as I know I'm fortunate compared to a lot of people on here who mc'd much later when it was all more real and further down the line.

I feel like going to get totally drunk, and I don't even drink!

tiger, whilst I too think that MC later on must be really really terrible, I still feel that every MC, no matter how far along you were, is a horrible experience to go through. Please do not feel like a fraud. I was only just 5 weeks (had known for a week that I was pg) when I MCed - and I completely fell to pieces, and still feel sometimes that I haven't quite fully recovered. There is no sense in comparing pain and loss. It's your pain and your loss, and it's real.

I'm glad you were able to talk to DH and that he's coming home. And please don't feel like you have to play the "strong, tough" woman now.

I'll be checking in to see if you're ok. If you need to talk to someone apart from your DP/mum, we're here for you.

It's so confusing that your HPT says +ve but the hospital test says -ve. Did they explain this to you at all?

Trying to make sense out of it, with your bleeding last week, the actual MC could have been anytime between then and now. HPTs can still give you +ves long after the MC, which is why TTC in the cycle immediately after MC can be tricky and nerve-wracking. Some of us have waited aaaages to finally get a negative after the MC.

Did they say there was any hope for a +ve blood test?

Thanks Meita, I'm at the point when kind words like yours are lovely, but make me cry again! I guess I should just let the tears happen, and not try to act ok. I was telling my Mum earlier that I'm now not going to a church meeting that is happening tonight, and she expressed suprise and said that life goes on... Don't get me wrong, she was very sympathetic and lovely as always, but I think she also feels that all of this early testing is a bit odd. She said again that in her day I would have been none the wiser, and just thought it was my period, and thinks that the home tests are perhaps too sophisticated for their own good.
Maybe she's right.

She didn't really give any indication as to whether she thought the blood test would show up anything other than negative. I'm thinking that the Clearblue must be so advanced to even trace the hormone, they must be more sensitive than the ones used in the hospital?

I really don't know if the ones they use in the hospital are any different than CB. When I went in to hospital when I started bleeding, they did a test which came back -ve, and I started wondering if I had imagined it all and had never actually been pg? But it does leave you in kind of a limbo, when you just want to believe that the hospital's test was wrong and your own HPT was right. Although if there really was much hope, you'd expect the people at the hospital to have mentioned it, no?

Ah, your mum is probably right in that if there weren't any early testing, we'd have less pain and worries. But, given that we DO have those early testing possibilities, knowing that "we wouldn't have known" doesn't make the pain, now that we do know, go away.

Put yourself first, all right? If you feel like that church meeting is not the place for you to be tonight, then don't go.