Anyone else trying to get pregnant ? 3

[bayleaf]

New thread for all ttcers who want to moan etc...

I'm spending far too much time popping back to Mumsnet but here I am again. Ttc is putting a big strain on my relationship with dh. We always promised we would be supportive and keep communicating but recently I think we are drifting. I cant help but resent the fact that he is less committed to conceiving than I am. Today we have avoided conversation and shunned each other, just like my parents always do. Help, I dont want us to fall apart but the resentment is building up.

bunny2 - not much to add but sypmpathy - I had ivf/icsi for our ds and dd and I remember becoming quite introverted at the time, just feeling I had to focus on getting pregnant, dp was supportive but I think trying to conceive is stressful as it starts to take over your life, sorry this isn't much help, but wishing you good luck.

jane101, sorry no luck this month and hope you are able to go for it next month.
Bayleaf, hope scan goes ok and good luck for 13th.

Lots of luck to everyone else too.

bunny2- sorry things are not well with you and dh at the moment. It's true that ttc does put a terrible strain on your relationship and I'm not sure that there's a great deal you can do in your situation other than try to talk yourself round by remembering that you're bound to be feeling more anxious/miserable/desperate etc. than him simply by virtue of the fact that you're a woman . Sorry it sounds a bit Tammy Wynette ( he's just a man) but I'm not sure how else you can approach it.

When I got pregnant with dd and showed dh the positive test, his immediate words were " God, I'm so unlucky" simply because I'd said that if the FET failed we could go on a holiday to Majorca , and also because he knew he wouldn't be getting any more sex for the next 9 months. I was appalled that he felt that way, but of course he now loves his little girl and I'm sure that he wouldn't swap her for a holiday in Majorca ( altho' he does still moan about the sex thing! ).

Yep - Josie's experience is pretty much what I'll get from dh - except that he'll be pleased by a positive as it means we can STOP spending £££ on ivf and spend them on nice stuff instead - the baby will be a complete incidental!
He could not be more bessotted with dd but gave me a really hard time before she was born as he really wasn't keen on having kids and was ''putting up with it for me''.
Even now and knowing how much he loves dd he is ''having another cos I want one''.
last time I was TERRIFIED that I'd end up a single mum - this time I'm certain he'll be besotted eventually but it's a bummer that I get to put up with this lack of interest etc now just because he can't make a leap of faith and accept that he doesn't dote on dd just because she is a miraculously lovely, special girl ( tho of course she is!)- it's just because she is HIS and any other child will be the same!!!

Thanks everyone. Dh and I did have a long talk late last night. We have lots of other pressures on at the moment. He is not working right now and spends his time fretting about his next job. We are moving aswell so more stress there. I told him tearfully and angrily how I feel about ttc and I think we are going to try and be a bit more supportive of each other. Here's hoping.

Hi Everyone

I've just joined Mumsnet. Not a mum yet but longing to be one, been trying to get pregnant for ages, have been reading some of the 'ttc' posts, also the 'late period negative pregnancy test' ones as that's the situation I seem to be in at the moment. Just tearing my hair out with the am-I-aren't-I question going round and round in my head till I think I'm going demented when a helpful pregnant friend told me about this site a few days ago. Just wanted to say how amazing it is to read about everyone else's experiences. It's so helpful. Thank you so much!

Hi there Nerthus and welcome to Mumsnet - I'm glad you're finding it useful so far.
I know exactly how you feel as I ended up trying for 2.4 years for dd ( all sorts of reasons - I had 3 miscarriages for one thing) and now have been trying for 20 months for a second one. If you can be bothered to read all the ''trying to conceive'' threads from beginning to end ( esp the first one) there are quite a lot of useful links and tips that I wish I'd known from the start.
I'm now going to talk ''ivf'' to those in the know ......
My date of Tuesday 13th is looking likely to be postponed as I'm hoping to go for a blastocyst FET on the FRiday.
OK translation for the rest of you...
Standard ivf procedure is to collect eggs, fertilise them and then put them back a couple of days later. One possible variant is to leave the embryos for another 3 days until they become 'blastocysts'( have no idea what it means other than it's a later stage in their development! I think by then they're 32 cell embryos but the science of it rather passes me by)
The down side of doing this is that many don't make it that far so if you don't have many embryos it's a non starter - and as not all that many are done the figures for success are unreliable - but it does look like it increases the chances of success - and ''logic'' implies that it is the weaker ones that are more likley to perish so by doing it you are maximising your chances of a strong one being put back.
It's a bit scarey doing it this way - but I fancy an ''all or nothing'' shot at it rather than 2-3 separate normal FETs using the 13 embryos up bit by bit - at least this way I don't have to put my life on hold for the next 6 months.
They're going to defrost them on Tuesday and tell me how they do ( it only takes 30 mins to defrost them)and depending on how many survive the thaw they'll either replace them as normal non blastocysts on the wednesday or as blastocyst ( God willing) on the Friday of next week. Just for fun I've got my interview for the job share head of department role on the Thursday! ( I'm the only applicant so not too scarey tho!)
I'm now on 6 HRT tablets a day ( normal dose 1) and I am MUCUS woman !!! Believe me you have never seen - or would want to see- so much mucus in you life.
Lucky WWW isn't reading this thread anymore!

Hi Nerthus!! Welcome to Mumsnet..... Good luck.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!! How late are you??

Best of luck bayleaf. I feel a bit of an imposter posting here, as we're still at the stage of hoping that "conventional" methods will work! Still at least things are more optimistic in some ways - cycle up to 27 days this time, after several which were only 15/17 days each, so there's probably a chance now at least.

Hi Gill - didn't realise you were ttc - yet another common link - but when are we going to meet up?! Fate conspires against us!
There are only jane101 and I on truely non conventionaly means here - Oh and I suppose Dot1 - so you're still in the majority. Loved the pictues of ds by the way - what a sweetie!

Bunny - glad you've managed to get dh to understand a bit _ I didn't mean to be dismissive of your problems ( and it sounds like you've got lots of extra stresses around at the moment) just to say that you're far from alone in going thru it without much support.

Hi everyone,just wondering if there is anyone who has experienced painful boobs at the sides and been pg.When i had my others i had more heavy like symptoms and tingling feelings.I dont yet know if i am pg,still a few more days to go before i find out.My boobs feel like i will have a period, but there is a good chance i could of got caught.I am also feeling alittle sick,could i be imagining this?

Yes, when I was pregnant I was really tender at the sides

Bayleaf, good luck for next week. SOunds like you could really do without your interview - can't imagine your mind is going to be on it! But good luck anyway.
I've heard figures of 50% success for blastocyst transfer so I hope at least one makes it....how many will they put back? Presumably not more than two? Surely with 13 embryos you have a good chance....(but I am still baffled by how these things work out...I guess abundant embryo production is no comfort unless they decide to stick around, but surely sheer numbers must be of some advantage in giving you more chances....) All the best.

Come to this thread a litle late. I feel a little bit out of it but, at the same time can relate a lot. DS1 was a mistake, a brilliant mistake and I would not be with out him, but I was not intending to get pg at 19! DH and I decided another would be nice but nothing happened. Periods were up the spout but when I missed I was still hoping but always let down After a year we went to the drs. 7 pg tests L8r we are no further forward but have lots of promises, scans,tests etc. another 4 pg tests L8r and I have had enough "I am NOT pg" I screamed at the dr who struck me off his list! Great no way now I thought. I had always got on really well with my old dr. Mum had an appointment and I had gone with her. Dr suggested I transfer back to him so I did. Best thing I ever did. Although the process took a few months, I felt like I was getting somewhere after years of broken promises and pg tests. Pg test to start with, then blood test which had to be done on a day 21. Tablets to boost ovulation and 4 months after transferring back, I'm pg! Hooray!! Bad timing as although there is 6 years between DS1 and DS2 their birthdays are only 10 days apart!! Considering all the problems we had conceiving DS2 we were not all that careful and DS2 was 20 months old when DS3 was born. Help!!!!!
My sister is now trying for DD/S2 and is having big problems, same as mine but the tablets aren't working for her (6 months she's been on them). Mentally attitude is important, it is very unlikely to happen if your down. Keep and think positive. Just remember it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen and it probably will. Good Luck 2 all of you ttc.

I've been keeping away from mumsnet recently as only just keeping my head above water at work and didn't want to have to struggle with the addiction, so haven't been following everyone's news. Sorry about this month, dot1--sounds really frustrating, though at least it sounds like the ovulation is working now. When dp was ttc we had to miss a couple of months due to impossibility of meeting up, it was always so frustrating to miss a 'go'.

I'd be very interested in your experience with the parental responsibility hearing--we have pretty much decided not to bother with it though I wonder if that is the right decision sometimes.

Good luck bayleaf for Friday--and everyone else, 'conventional' methods or otherwise.

So far so good - the first 6 were taken out today - of which only one died ( that's good - they expect about 60% to survive the thaw).
They'll take another few out tomorrow depending on how well the 5 have done overnight - and if it's all going pear shaped I'll have to go in for the transfer tomorrow. This is a bit stressful as I shall have to go to work tomorrow and ring in the hospital at 9am - and if need be excalim ''the nursery has just rung, I need to pick up dd!'' and leave work and drive to the hospital!
Hopefully it'll all go OK and I'll be able to wait till Friday!

Fingers crossed for you for tomorrow bayleaf and good luck to the rest of you too.

Best of luck for tomorrow bayleaf.

Good luck Bayleaf. Lets hope for good news.

thinking of you Bayleaf - good luck!

Best of luck Bayleaf - fingers and toes crossed for you!

Good luck Bayleaf, thinking of you and hoping for the best of outcomes this time!

Thanks all - its' so nice to get all these messages of support - especially as only one person at work knows ( my choice of course) so I get no support there and dh is in Belgium today and tomorrow and on a boys' weekend away friday/Saturday - NOT ideal and I'm feeling a bit martyred generally.
I didn't go in today - on my request they defrosted all of my embroys today to absolutely maximise chances of getting 2 blastocysts - its a bit 'all or nothing' but that's the way I feel at the moment - and it would ( just!) be a Jan baby - which dd is and the one I lost at 18 weeks (after an amnio) was - so this is clearly a fertile time of year for me!!!
Now I need to go and find something to waer for my blasted interview tomorrow....

Bayleaf I think you are so good to post on this -your messages have opened my eyes. Hope all your effort is rewarded and you dream comes true.