desperate for any help as no idea whats going on??!!! can anyone help me???

[Wishing]

i have copied this to 2 post so sorry if im repeating myself but need advice of anyone who can help;

this morning got bfn with tesco cheapie fmu, was sure felt af terrible cramps down below, irritable and teary -got to work went to do a knicker chec and there was a brownish red stain in them, not had anything like it before and thought it was af starting, wiped it was mucussy (is that a word?? so put a towel into till af got going. was sure i could feel it all morning so cried to dh on phone, cried at my desk and was literally heartbroken. then got a call from my friend who has same cycle as me and also ttc this month, she was sure af coming but nothing and always has it first thing. we chatted and she went to get a test at 11ish VERY soon later she called me to say she had a bfp! i was so so happy for her she was so shocked and so happy but deep down i was falling apat - tears came i was gutted i just couldnt and still dont understand why i havent got a bfp - we did exactly the same, in fact i bd a lot lot more!! anyway went to change pad and there was nothing!! not a drop or a splurge!! awful cramps but no af, what i thought was af was just lots of cm! TMI WARNING - there is loads of it!! so at lunch i went to get a cb test - not digital and peed away - hadnt had that much to drink and got another bfp?? was so mad at myself cos was sure deep down that af was coming but hanging on to a hope that stain this morning was actually implantation bleeding. carried on to this afternoon and on another trip to loo to find no af i managed to go to loo, constipation for 2 days now and i managed to let a bit of it go - PAIN has gone>!>!>! ??? dont feel like af coming any more, something very wrong with boobs and have a banging headache and feel sick. WHAT IS GOING ON?????? still no af?? i do think headache and sickness may be all emotions im feeling but i have continued to cry over anything all day, im never this emotional! i no i am hanging on to a huge hope here but do i stand a chance this month??

thanks - dont think they will help me though, even thopugh its sendingme insane!
xxx

Poor wishing, sorry to hear about your bfns.. I hope the doc can give you some answers. I'd push for some bloods to be done a bit. You don't have to lie about dates, just be deliberately vague so they can think there's a possibility you're two weeks late. There's still hope so fingers crossed. I had an early mc like you a couple of weeks ago, and my hcg had fallen to below 5 two days later, so it's possible yours did too and you're pg. I'm already getting signs of ov and it's not even two weeks since I miscarried.

Poor you wishing - let us know how your doctors appointment goes (and when it is)

got a blood test just got back from hosp and should hear monday the result, dr thinks i have Tyroid problem and that i arent pg at all, this is just my imagination cos i want to be so much!! dh and i have also just fallen out so im now sat here on my own crying and still none the wiser!! no news there then!! i also feel that the pg is slipping further away - dr says it is impossible for it not to show on a hpt test and wasnt willing to te4st hormones at all, just wanted to test for my throid - until mi started to cry!!

i tried mentioning that i no where people have not had a bfp for 8/12 weeks with ahpt but he said those are just not true, if if wont show on hpt it isnt there basically oh he then went on to say tht hcg levels probably arent detectable in blood levels yet either!?!?!?! well at least i got the blood test - just to wait till monday now!!

Hey wishing-been thinking about you. So sorry to hear of all you're going through. I cant offer any advice except try make up with your man-if you're anything like me cuddles are essential at these times! Monday isnt too far away now. xx

thanks 2 many chips, we have made up but he is still at work so have to wait a while for my cuddle!!

xx

so sorry to hear this wishing. Poor you. When you get your results at least you'll be a step closer to knowing what's going on, and that could easily be a step closer to getting pg. Try to keep positive, it's so hard I know, but you can do so much with a positive state of mind. I hope you patch things up with dh, you need all the support you can get right now. Sending you (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

sorry, x post. so glad you've made up. Be kind to yourselves. Treat yourself to a few nice things, a cuddle, a big bar of chocolate , a nice quiet evening together and try to think of nice things.

thanks head fairy, he wont be home for a while but i will get them when he gets home, im going to treat myself to something nice for tea i think!! xxxxxx

I am so sorry, Wishing, and GP didn't sound very supportive at all. I think people who have not experienced it have no idea how stressful TTc can be and especially after a mc. Because the moment we learn about a pg, we make plans for that new life and it's so heartbreaking to let all these plans go.

Try and see it from the positive side. If you have a thyroid problem (?), they'll catch it early and there won't be any more delays.

A point on testing. The cheap test you can buy online are often more sensitive than the much more expensive over the counter ones. A typical one is 25 mIU/mg, but the sensitive ones are 10 mIU/mg. The only difference between the cheap and expensive one is the case (the cheap ones are just a strip).

Goo luck - I hope you are doing better.

thanks glimmer - do you know what the docs use?? i seem to have spent a fortune on tests - still have 2 left so think i will wait and text in a few weeks if af still not arrived, which cant see it is going to!? and if blood test is negative!!

xxxx

well i woke up today happier than i have all week and when i went to loo i hd a brownish discharge again when i wipe, no pain no cramps and doesnt feel like af but there is definatley some bleeding - i have been knicker checking like made since and it has now turned more red and blood like but only when i wipe?? its not actually getting into my knickers, its only when i wipe??

still no pains!?!?!?! OR CRAMPS??!?!?! Normally when i get af i get relly bad cramps an hour before and then full flow, no messing and it last 3 days - this is so wierd and i cant take much more - what is going on!! tears are the only thing thats actually flowing!!

oh wishing how annoying! its so difficult waiting to find out. is there any way you can distract yourself today, to make it easier to wait for the test results? what about going to the cinema or getting out the house somehow?

wishing, so sorry to hear this, it's always scary to have anything like this happen. I'm sure it's nothing, no pain is a good sign. I hope the bleeding stops soon. xx

Hi Wishing, just to say am thinking of you. I have a thyroid problem and it's true, it can disturb your period BUT you are doing the best thing in getting it tested, and if it does turn out to be dicky then it's a v simple thing to get sorted out (email me if you want more advice, not that I'm an expert). Fingers crossed it's not a thyroid and is actually a baby. But I second what Glimmer says: it's very very hard to understand how sould destroying it is to cope with ttc after a mc. Sending you lots of luck and love xx

thanks guys!! i think i have to kiss goodbye to this month though! im coping quite well - i went to work!! i know propbably seems wierd but it really helped, i couldnt cry i had to be positive and im home now and feel much better - dh and i have had a cuddle and trying to be positive!

blood test should clear up whats going on!! i hope this isnt another early mc - it seems the same as last time, very paiful and clotty now, but guess blood test will conf! i really dont think there is anything wrong with my thyroid but will be definately good to rule it out and sort it if it is a problem!!

thanks for the offer sunnydale, im gonna try pass over this now and not dwell on it, if blood test does show anything i may in touch cos never understand what they are saying !!

Love to all and thanks for your good wishes nand thoughts! i will get through this - i have had some tears and now its time to start concentrating on next month!!

xxxxxxxx

aw, bless you wishing, you poor thing Keeping up a normal routine is good, I went to work the day after my last mc. Kept my mind busy so I didn't really get time to think about it. I hope you have better luck next month. Come back and keep us posted xx

Poor you wishing, what a horrid time you're going through .

today was hard guys! i work part time in a local resturant part time! so many pregnant ladies and newborns or youg babies! well sunday is family day! everywhere i looked there was a lady with a huge bump or a baby!! and my friend has just given birth to a little girl!! oooooohhhhh i am so pleased for them but found myself in toilet a few times today fighting back the tears and thinking why not me!?!?!?! oh is that so bad of me!?? this month seems so far away for me!! why do i keep having to wait!!

Thanks for the kind wishes and thoughts girlies! oh well off to bed, dh took me out for a lovely meal to try and cheer me up and had too many glasses of wine! the upside to no bean i guess!!

xxxxxxxlove to all xxxxx

It's not so bad to feel that way wishing, it's totally normal and understandable. I was in the exact same place as you. I live in just about the most family orientated place on earth, it's even nicknamed nappy valley, and when I walk down my road every single woman is either pregnant or has a child with them. It was hell.

How long have you been ttc? Have you had any bloods done to establish everything's working ok? I had all the usual hormone checks because it took me 18 months to conceive ds and it was reassuring to find out everything was working ok. Of course until you've got pg and carried to term all that means nothing. I so understand how awful it is.

One day really sticks in my mind, the 15th December 2006. I was working, and my period had just started which was gutting. I'd had a crappy day at work and was knackered and then at the end of the day I got an email from a friend of mine saying she was pg with her third. Of course I was happy for her, but all the way home, which was over an hour's journey, I held it in. Choked back the tears. As soon as I got through the front door I burst in to tears... I sobbed my heart out, my dh was really worried because I couldn't talk for about 10 mins. He thought I'd been attacked or something. Finally I told him and he was very sweet and cuddled me, cooked a lovely meal and we had a few glasses of wine. The reason I remember that date so well is because it was the date of my LMP and my pregnancy with ds was dated from the 15th December. I know that won't help you, but I just wanted to reassure you, you're not alone, so many of us on here have been through it and know how hard it is for you. I just wish I could wave my magic wand and make us all pg!

Enjoy some of those non pregnant perks for a couple of weeks and try again

Hi wishing just wondering how you were today and if you managed to get to the bottom of anything with the blood results?.

Hope you are feeling more positive today. x

thanks head fairy thats a lovely story and it brough a huge smile to my face! irs exactly how i feel some days!

well today has been much better for me, but i need a new gp!! he has been rubbish so unhelpful and unsympathetic!! the blood tests showed not very much according to the gp, he didnt feel the need to see me, tyroid etc everything fine shouldnt be having any problems! i did have low levels of hcg in my blood but not viable to conf a pregnancy, i conf to doc that i had started heavy bleeding and he said well there you go then!! no are you ok how or anything?? i mean i dont know what i was expecting from dr but a bit more than there you go then!!

does this mean another mc?? i have passed quite a few clots one or 2 which have been large and it has been a horribly painful one! i just dont know! i tried to quiz dr and he just advised again that hcg levels were very low and when considering i would have been around 5 weeks when bloods were taken it wouldnt be a viable pregnancy. so i guess i have no option other than to draw a line under this now, i no i ovulated at the right time as i was testing myself and i think we gonna do that again this month, but once ov has occured im seriously going to have to chill out!! i cant wind myself up so much again this month its just not physically fair to me or dh.

thanks everyone for looking out for my posts and your advice and good wishes!

love me xxxxx

Wishing - you should change gp oif you can, either to a different one in same practise or new one altogether - you need to feel cinfident you are being taken seriously. SOunds like a chemical pregnancy. Much love.xx

he isnt one i ususally see thankfully and i know i will n ot settle with seeing him agian!! When the time comes again to see a gp im going to ask to see the lady gp as been prev suggested to me - hoping a female may be a bit more on my wave length!!

xxxxxxx

LotsHi Wishing, I'm so sorry you are going through such a horrible time. For what it's worth, I think you are v brave and have the right attitude in thinking positive for next month. Wishing you lots of luck with that - will you let us know about the blood test results?

Now, in the spirit (if you'll forgive the bad pun) of trying to raise a smile on this emotional thread, do any of us fancy sharing our attitudes to alcohol when TTC? Do you lay off it entirely? Do you follow up a BFN with a stiff G&T? Or do you get hammered every few weeks just to take the pressure off? (only when you know you're not PG, I mean...) I feel a bit conflicted about it all. I'm so desperate to have a baby, but I also like a drink, so every time I test a BFN I tend to go down the pub and have a few pints, only to regret them the next day and feel like a crap mum who has jeopardised her optimum ability to conceive. Does anyone else feel like this, or is it just me? Sorry to raise the subject, I just thought it might be funny to share. Apologies if nobody agrees - just ignore me!