desperate for any help as no idea whats going on??!!! can anyone help me???

[Wishing]

i have copied this to 2 post so sorry if im repeating myself but need advice of anyone who can help;

this morning got bfn with tesco cheapie fmu, was sure felt af terrible cramps down below, irritable and teary -got to work went to do a knicker chec and there was a brownish red stain in them, not had anything like it before and thought it was af starting, wiped it was mucussy (is that a word?? so put a towel into till af got going. was sure i could feel it all morning so cried to dh on phone, cried at my desk and was literally heartbroken. then got a call from my friend who has same cycle as me and also ttc this month, she was sure af coming but nothing and always has it first thing. we chatted and she went to get a test at 11ish VERY soon later she called me to say she had a bfp! i was so so happy for her she was so shocked and so happy but deep down i was falling apat - tears came i was gutted i just couldnt and still dont understand why i havent got a bfp - we did exactly the same, in fact i bd a lot lot more!! anyway went to change pad and there was nothing!! not a drop or a splurge!! awful cramps but no af, what i thought was af was just lots of cm! TMI WARNING - there is loads of it!! so at lunch i went to get a cb test - not digital and peed away - hadnt had that much to drink and got another bfp?? was so mad at myself cos was sure deep down that af was coming but hanging on to a hope that stain this morning was actually implantation bleeding. carried on to this afternoon and on another trip to loo to find no af i managed to go to loo, constipation for 2 days now and i managed to let a bit of it go - PAIN has gone>!>!>! ??? dont feel like af coming any more, something very wrong with boobs and have a banging headache and feel sick. WHAT IS GOING ON?????? still no af?? i do think headache and sickness may be all emotions im feeling but i have continued to cry over anything all day, im never this emotional! i no i am hanging on to a huge hope here but do i stand a chance this month??

Oh no poor you. Are you on your own or is anyone with you to take your mind off it? My DH is sat on the sofa, but he doesn't really understand how it feels. How can he - he's a bloke!
The problem is I lost a baby 2 months ago, and haven't had AF since. So I've no idea how late I am, or even if I've ovulated since (I always forget the acronym for ovulated). I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday to see what's wrong with me and why AF hasn't returned. In my heart I know I'm not PG, but I still don't understand why I FELT so PG last week. Spotting, metallic taste in mouth, cramping, wakefulness at bedtime, huge swollen stomach... I would understand if AF had arrived, but no AF so what the heck can it all be about! Your post just sounded exactly how I felt. How long have you been TTC? Will it be your first DC? xxxx

Wishing - found the clearblue website - brain kicked in and thought to check the leaflet with the test I still have. It's
www.clearblue.info/uk/healthcare.php

Claims both digital and non digital are 25mIU/ml, but I think this is out of date as the percentages of pregnancies detected early with the digital one is lower than on my box (which says -4 55%; -3 86%; -2 97% and -1 98%) so I think they are now more sensitive than the non-digital.

Just read that more likely to conceive just after an early mc, so that's another good sign for you. (I'm clinging to that as think my weird week may have been a very early mc, though I'll never know for sure).

I've decided to wait until tomorrow to start the Clomid now as lots of sites say to start day 3, so since I'm in doubt I'll do tomorrow.

Good Luck again.

Sorry to hear of your mcs headfairy and 2manychips. Hope things happen for you soon.

keeping my fingers crossed for you Wishing x

sunnydale, I was told by the midwives at the EPU that I'd almost certainly ov before my first post mc period. I think that's normal, so I would assume you will ov, or you have ov'd. It sounds like you're going through hell too, it's so rotten all this waiting. All those symptoms do sound like you're pg, but I always feel pg just before a period so I always ignore those feelings. It's so disorientating when your gut feeling is so out of kilter with what your body is telling you.

And sorry to hear about your mc too Sunnydale - sorry took me a long time to do that post as had to go back to the website, so we cross posted. I hope you are pg.

Good luck with the clomid issy, I have no idea what it's like being on clomid, or what it does but so many people I know have conceived on it.

Hi - can't offer much practical advice I'm afraid but fingers crossed for everyone!!

Sunnydale - do try popping in on one of the other ttc threads, most of them are very friendly. Some of them do lose impetus from time to time so don't take it personally, it's probably just a lull in activity

thanks hienz and izzy for the info, glad you sorted when to take the clomid, hope it all goes well this month for you !! im testing with cb tomorrow if its a negative im giving up and just gonna sit and wait for af, dont think there will be owt else to do!

it was very early for me too head fairy, i started bleeding not long after at docs it was horrible! thinking of you, you seem to be positive which is brill! good luck for you this month!

thanks sunny, dh is with me but liek you say they dont really know what to say and do do they??? its just as hard for them, he just got me some icecream and that helped! im so hungry as well, just had my tea and still starving??!!

this would be my first sunny and i do feel like im getting seperate now, for some reason i thought this would be easy to do! we have been trying for 5 months now, no it doesnt seem long but it feels like ages!! im sorry for anyone who has been trying longer i appreciate there are people trying even longer than me! dh does have a dd to a prev relationship and she came to stay recently - it always makes me want this even more! i want my own!

sorry to here about your mc and i know how you feel when all you seem to see is pregnannt ladies or new newborns!! its awful how you dont know whats going on isnt it and im sure all this worrying doesnt help our cycles!

xxxxxx

Hi Headfairy, I just looked at your pics of your little boy (hope you don't mind) - he is gorgeous! What a cutie. So do you reckon no Af for two months is kind of normal? I lost the baby at 14 weeks, so quite late. Maybe being PG for so long means you get AF much later, I don't know. I honestly have such a fear I'll never get AF ever again. I feel so frustrated coz until I do, I'm stuck here and can't do anything to help myself. It's horrible, horrible, horrible

im so sorry to hear thast sunny dale! i cant imagine what you have been through, 14 weeks is so unfair - im sending you big hugs, reasding your thread bought tears to my eyes - god this ttc is so hard and can be so cruel!! why does it seem easy for some and not for others - so unfair!!

oh head fairy he is gorgeous - cuased more tears - god im a wreck!!

Sorry Wishing, didn't mean to make you cry! Everything is making me cry right now too (another classic sign of PG, but alas I'm not PG). I think I'll go to bed now. Tomorrow maybe we can discuss the dumb things we are doing / avoiding in our attempts to get pregnant. Night night everyone, sleep well, lovely to chat to you xx

you didnt make me cry sunnydale, its just me at the minute!

hope you sleep well!! and keep in touch! night night xx

Ah bless you sunnydale and wishing, thank you. He is a sweetie and I love him to bits, that's why I'm so desperate to give him a brother or sister. I'm sorry it made you cry wishing. I know that feeling oh so well, it took me 18 months to get pg with ds, and everywhere I looked there were pregnant women, or women with gorgeous babies. It's so hard to get on with things when you feel like you're the only one not pregnant yet, but it will happen. Hey, want to know my crazy getting pregnant top tip of the day...? book yourself a mad holiday you can't possibly go on when pregnant, like extreme skiing or climbing everest. Guaranteed you'll be pregnant before you know it!

Poor you sunnydale, 14 weeks. That's awful. Must have been such a shock. I'm sure that must make a difference in the time it takes for your cycle to return to normal. I had my second hCG test on Wednesday after miscarrying on Saturday and it was below 5, ie at non pregnant levels, but then if I was only 6 weeks pg (4 weeks post conception really), then they can't have risen that much, so they had less to fall iywsim. If your hCG levels had had 14 weeks to build up, then I imagine they've got further to fall back to non pregnant levels. I'm no doctor, but that just sounds right to me. When I saw the midwife at the EPU she said that while my hCG levels were still high enough, they'd suppress my normal cycle, so perhaps that's what's happened to you. Is it worth requesting an hCG blood test to see if they've fallen to non pregnant levels yet? It might give you a clearer picture as to where you are at getting your cycle back to normal.

I'm off to bed now too, night night x

thanks head fairy - knowing my luck though it still wouldnt happen! he is adorable!! im sure you he will get a brother to tease or a sis to look after very very soon! and i am no dr either but your advice to sunnydale sounds pretty logical to me

nite nite, im off to bed in a bit too - sleep tite!! and thank you ladiesxx

Wow Headfairy, you know so much more than me! Thank you so much for your advice. I had no idea about hcg levels, but what you say sounds v logical, and comes at the perfect time as I am due to see the doctor tomorrow, so now I know what to ask her. I do felt I've been pretty much "left alone" by my doctor and midwife since it happened: no check ups, nothing, other than the appt tomorrow which I've instigated. I feel 8 weeks is enough to go without AF, and now I'm really worried. Until a normal cycle is established, I feel there is nothing I can do about getting PG. Like you, I also have a DC - she's 2.5, and OBSESSED with having a baby brother or sister! She talks about it all day long, which is lovely but puts SO MUCH PRESSURE on me to produce one. And with every month that passes, I'm aware that the age gap is getting wider and wider, and I'm getting older and older (I'm 38). I love your advice about booking an adventure holiday. If I wasn't totally useless at ski ing and all sports, I would try it! Ha ha x

Sunnydale did you take time to conceive dd?
I only ask as my dd(18mo) was conceived first try when I was 36. Now it seems trying for dc2 is taking much longer.

still no af - darent do a test today dont want to be faced with another bfp - though today i look exhausted - or so i have been told by nearly everyone!! and i feel so so sick! could that be my imagination??

still no af - darent do a test today dont want to be faced with another bfp - though today i look exhausted - or so i have been told by nearly everyone!! and i feel so so sick! could that be my imagination??

Sunnydale, I have to add a proviso, I have absolutely no medical background whatsoever, I'm just saying what sounds right to me. I have no idea at what rate hCG levels fall at after a miscarriage, but I just wondered if it might be something to ask your doc. Sorry to hear you've been left to it. That's really not on cos we always have so many questions to ask. I'm a fervent hypochondriac believer in asking tons of questions. I've called the EPU so many times since my miscarriage I have them on speed dial .... I hope your appt tomorrow goes ok. I'm quite lucky in that my ds can't talk yet so I don't have pressure from him, but I do have the same age pressures, I'm 38 too.

Wishing, it must be so hard for you. If it helps, I have read on here about people who've still got bfns when they were several weeks pregnant (pregnancy confirmed by hcg tests at the docs) so don't rule anything out until you're sure. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, and I don't hear anything yet!

can i go to docs and demand a blood test??

Hi 2Manychips - I conceived DD without even trying, and my second pregnancy was the same: started trying, was PG within the month. So previously, no issues with fertility.
Wishing - not to give you false hope, but it really does sound as if you're PG, so am sending you lots of luck for your next test to be a BFP. Fingers crossed for you.
Headfairy - I will def ask the doctor about hcg test tomorrow and am vv grateful you thought to post about it, even if you're not a doctor! I think I haven't been hypochondriacal enough with my doc, and I plan to be more so. You know when you feel like you've only got 15 mins with them and then they shove you out the door? It makes me forget half the things I want to ask! Well, I'll try to write down all my qq tomorrow, before I go in.

HeadFairy, sunnydale (are you a buffy fan?), hcg levels fall exponentially - ie they halve about once every 24hours (depends on your metabolism). At 14 weeks in an normal pregnancy the levels would have been anywhere between 15,000 - 250,000, so a big variation. Since the levels halve so frequently, even from the highest number you should be back to below 5mIU in 2 weeks or so (could be three if you are a slow metaboliser - no way to know this), so sunny I think you would have been back to 'normal' at least a month ago, ovulated at least 2 weeks ago, etc.

Hope that helps.

Hoping for good news for everyone on here soon.

sunnydale - of course good idea to ask the doc and get a test, as there is always the possibility of 'retained products of conception' hanging in there and messing up your system.

Wishing, I'd be tempted to ask, esp if you have a normally regular cycle, even considering your recent mc. They might want you to wait a few more days. Do you know where your local EPU(early pregnancy unit) is? Mine is in our local hospital, they operate a walk in clinic so you don't need an appointment, is it worth finding out if there's something like that near you? They may be more willing to help. GPs are often a bit more rushed and might give you the brush off, but at an EPU they're much more understanding cos they deal with people who are anxious about their pregnancies every day.

Thaliablogs, you sound like you know much more than me! When I miscarried on saturday before last by the following wednesday my hcg had dropped to below 5mIU.

sunnydale - just think of all the taxes and NI you've paid over the years! Don't feel pressured or hurried, you have every right to get as much time as you need.