desperate for any help as no idea whats going on??!!! can anyone help me???

[Wishing]

i have copied this to 2 post so sorry if im repeating myself but need advice of anyone who can help;

this morning got bfn with tesco cheapie fmu, was sure felt af terrible cramps down below, irritable and teary -got to work went to do a knicker chec and there was a brownish red stain in them, not had anything like it before and thought it was af starting, wiped it was mucussy (is that a word?? so put a towel into till af got going. was sure i could feel it all morning so cried to dh on phone, cried at my desk and was literally heartbroken. then got a call from my friend who has same cycle as me and also ttc this month, she was sure af coming but nothing and always has it first thing. we chatted and she went to get a test at 11ish VERY soon later she called me to say she had a bfp! i was so so happy for her she was so shocked and so happy but deep down i was falling apat - tears came i was gutted i just couldnt and still dont understand why i havent got a bfp - we did exactly the same, in fact i bd a lot lot more!! anyway went to change pad and there was nothing!! not a drop or a splurge!! awful cramps but no af, what i thought was af was just lots of cm! TMI WARNING - there is loads of it!! so at lunch i went to get a cb test - not digital and peed away - hadnt had that much to drink and got another bfp?? was so mad at myself cos was sure deep down that af was coming but hanging on to a hope that stain this morning was actually implantation bleeding. carried on to this afternoon and on another trip to loo to find no af i managed to go to loo, constipation for 2 days now and i managed to let a bit of it go - PAIN has gone>!>!>! ??? dont feel like af coming any more, something very wrong with boobs and have a banging headache and feel sick. WHAT IS GOING ON?????? still no af?? i do think headache and sickness may be all emotions im feeling but i have continued to cry over anything all day, im never this emotional! i no i am hanging on to a huge hope here but do i stand a chance this month??

Big BIG hugs to you wishing. Am wishing for next month for you x x

Wishing, you should try to get him to tell you the level. Below 5 and it was probably never a pregnancy, above 5 it would class as a chemical, ie a very early miscarriage, which will be important if you go for further testing. Sorry to hear of this, you've been through so much.

Sunnydale, I don't drink much anyway, but know that the two weeks before you know you are pregnant the foetus cannot be affected by alcohol, and so never worry about having 1/2 a glass of wine when I want one. Since I never drink that much, this is fine for me. I wouldn't go out and get pissed during the 2ww or early pregnancy, but I will have a drink here and there. And in the 2 weeks before ovulation, well then anything is fine. I think it becomes more of a problem if you are constantly denying yourself. The thing I have a problem with is coffee which I know is assoc with miscarriage at high levels. I gave it up when we first started ttc, but after 2 years, no baby and 2 miscarriages, I thought what the hell and started having just a little coffee every morning. Since my daughter was conceived unexpectedly I was happily drinking turkish coffee and drinking wine with dinner every night during her first 2 weeks of development, so after that I didn't feel I had to give up coffee during the pregnancy, so I stuck to just 1 cup and she seems to be just fine!

Everyone has to make their own decisions on this stuff, don't they?

Wishing, so sorry you're going through this. I agree you should make absolutely sure you see a more sympathetic doctor next time. Hopefully a woman will be more sympathetic, not always, sometimes they can be just as insensitive, but they have all the same hormonal fluctuations as us so they understand the very deep biological need to have a baby..... hopefully!

Without being down on things, what you've experienced does sound like a mc to me... I can't remember when your bloods were done, but when I had my mc last month I was passing clots and bleeding heavily on the saturday and by the wednesday my hcg levels were below 5. The only evidence I had of being pregnant was a positive test. Luckily our brilliant epu never questioned whether I was pg or not and accepted I'd had an early mc. The good news is that I too used OPKs this month, and I detected an LH peak exactly two weeks after the day of the heaviest bleeding and when the clots came out. Hopefully you'll have the same luck. I'm now on the 2ww. Don't think I'm pg really, had a few twinges but really trying not to think about it. If I were you I would do my best not to think about it, let your hair down a bit and have some fun for the next couple of weeks.

As for the drinking during pregnancy thing.... I've always been a bit relaxed about it like thaliablogs. I spent ages avoiding alcohol while ttc, and with every bfn I'd get more frustrated that I was putting my life on hold for something that just wasn't happening. I don't drink masses anyway but I felt that a couple of drinks here and there wasn't going to do any damage while ttc.

I conceived ds just after Christmas 2006 and I'd had really strong implantation pains on New Years Eve and had a really bad dilemma, drink or no drink. In the end I had a couple of glasses of champagne and a cocktail. It was a tough decision, esp as a week later I was officially late but I hadn't tested and it was my friend's 40th birthday party. Again, I restricted myself to a couple of glasses of wine and one mojito. As soon as I found out for sure I didn't really drink anything during the first trimester apart from half a glass of champagne to toast someone who'd just got engage, and to divert suspicion!

After my first trimester, I allowed myself a couple of units a week. It was really hard because we went skiing when I was 15 weeks pg and a cold beer after a days skiing is one of life's pleasures!

Hi all, just wanted to let off steam, am in limbo here. Went to see the doctor this morning, am on CD38 of a 29 day cycle and testing negative, doctor was really unhelpful. Quite supportive and apologetic, but apparently there is nothing they can do and I just have to wait and see if I miss another period.

Am fed up of this game. Just want to get pregnant and have done with it.

Re drinking - oh yes, I definitely accompany each CD1 with a great big glass of wine or a double vodka & coke

hello everyone, thankyou for the posts great to hear all your advice and thoughts!! thaliblogs caled docs to try and get exact details about the levels but he isnt available right now!! have to call back in the morning! however i tend to feel same as headfairy and feel it was an early mc. i have had one before at 4 weeks where i got a faint bfp and the circumstances of this weekend were very simialr if not worse - dont want to go into tmi as not pleasant, but this is the first day i have actually really felt better - got on with a few jobs instead of just moping!!

i am definately using ov sticks this month and really try monitor everything even temps leading up to ov then when i know i have done all i can relax! im sure all the stressing and upset hasnt helped myself or the bean!!

on the drinking front sunnydale i dont think you should be labelling yourself a terrible mother for enjoying the odd glass of wine, especially after getting that dreadful bfn!!, i had very little in my 2 ww except a glass of champagne follwing an engagement this time! I have had a few glasses of wine over the weekend following the bleeding but i think this month once everything has cleared up and we start babydancing i will not have anything leading up to the 2ww this time either - i arent a huge drinker these days anyway, dh works all hours and have 2 jobs so we dont often go out - but will have a drink on a sunday night maybe with tea; and having 2 jobs i havent been out with friends for a while! oh dear - maybe it will do me good! like you say head fairy let my hair down for a week or so!!

well i dont think i can actually go that far, have been a bit of emotional wreck lately but today crying has been a real minimum so i think im definately getting there!!

i also agree with thaliablogs that a bit of alchohol in moderation isnt going to hurt anyone or any bean before the 2ww and i have heard also not in the very early days - my friend conceived Just before her honeymoon a few years ago and told me she actually took a strong drug on honeymoon ( yes i was very VERY shocked as well) she was so scared when she found out about the pg after and confessed to midwife, who gave her a right rollocking!! and rightly so!! but also told her until implantation has been sucessfull anything you take wont have an effect on the bean, luckily when they worked out the dates its unlikely her bean had implanted at that stage and all was fine!!

i hate coffee so i never drink but hadnt heard that thaliblogs!
Michaelas - so sorry to hear you seem to be going through something very simialr to me, i really realyl feel for you, its not nice at all and if you are anyting like i was (and still am a bit!) you will be an emotional wreck, plus i dont really think anything i say can help! However i can always try!

I know exactly how you feel regards docs and you have likely read mine was useless and is still not so keen to help! and i know that its not always easy to make them listen or insist on seeing another doc, i couldnt do it! and i know if i exp this again i dont think i will even visit docs - some really dont seem too keen to help unless you walk in there waving a bfp and say your around 10 weeks! hopefully i arent going to have to go through this again, but you never know!!

love to all
xxx

Now here's a strange thing. Not to go off on a tangent, but thought it might be interesting for anyone using OPKs. I had an ultrasound today (to shed light on why I hadn't had a period - sorry, AF - for 9 weeks) and may the gods be praised, it showed a blessed egg measuring 17mm! Apparently an egg ready for fertilisation measures about 20mm, which means I'll ovulate vv soon! I am so happy I am just beaming! There was me worrying I'd reached early menopause. "If you want to make love, tomorrow night might be a good time," said the gynae. Well, DH is away with work tomorrow night, so tonight will have to be his lucky night instead. My point is: I just peed on an ovulation predictor stick (to see if it would correlate with the ultrasound findings) and it came back negative. It says on the packet that a positive result means I'll ovulate within the next 24 - 48 hours. Therefore surely I should have had a positive result. An ultrasound cannot lie: I saw the egg with my own eyes! I wonder if this means OPKs are unpredictable. I'm just posting this incase anyone reading is depressed because they haven't ovulated... because maybe they have, or are, and the test just didn't pick it up. Sorry if this is unhelpful. Wishing, here's to next month. Who knows: soon we may all be on the same thread but for babies due in September. I'm just trying to be positive for us all. Wouldn't it be great if we all had ultrasound devices in our kitchens. I bet celebrities have those, and the royal family. Sorry, just being silly. Words can't express how relieved I am: I know it seems daft to be happy about ovulating in itself, but from where I'm standing it's a big step forward from thinking I was a dried up old hag with no eggs left.

sunnydale i'm very glad for you!!! definitely would like my own ultrasound machine, but would do nothing but stay plugged into it i imagine!

we will have to make do with mumsnet.

wishing - thanks, i'm going to wait a week and if no AF go back. keep hassling them until they do something, hormone tests maybe?

right, time to go home from work.
m

That's lovely sunnydale, and so reassuring to know you're not a dried up old hag with no eggs left I had an internal scan a couple of years ago when I was ttc #1 to rule out pcos and the sonographer could see the follicle where I'd just popped out an egg. As you say, all the tests in the world aren't nearly as reassuring as a visual confirmation that you are still functioning as you should be. 38 is nowhere near a dried up old hag! (ps I'm 38 )

Anyway, I was perusing the conception threads the other day, I have no idea which one I was reading, will try and find it in a bit, but there was a couple of postings about how sometimes some people never get a positive on an OPK but still ov (they also have had scans that have confirmed ov). There was some discussion about hormone levels not rising enough to trigger a positive on an OPK but enough to trigger ovulation.

I'm trying not to think about this but.... I've had central crampy/sharp pains low down all day today. I had a positive on an OPK on saturday so we you know what'd on Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to have to think up some major diversions for the next couple of weeks as there's no way I can get excited about this just yet. For all I know I could be imagining it because I want it so much. And this is the silly part, I'd really like to be pg this month because the baby would be born late July, which a) is when my birthday is , b) will mean this one will be only one school year apart from ds and finally c) won't be another September baby, which if I got pg next cycle would be approx when I'd be due (feel for poor ds who'd forever more have to share birthday parties with his brother/sister)

Silly ain't I?

Ok lalalalalalalala not thinking about it

great news sunnydale - friend of mine had a scan for some reason and was told that if she wanted to conceive to go home and make love that night - nine months later out popped a baby!

Thanks everyone for your kind congrats! Headfairy, I will be thinking of you as you embark on the 2ww.... I'll be doing the same thing, as some BD is definitely on the cards tonight! (TMI, I know). Even though the gynae advised tomorrow as the optimum night to BD, there's still a chance if we do it a little early. I realise it's a teeny tiny chance but hey, it's better than the zero chance I thought I had until the scan. I'm just so glad my body is working. Like a loon, I'm sure I'll be looking out for early signs, but I'll try not to torture myself. Headfairy, feel free to share whenever you want though xx Wishing, hope you are feeling better tonight xx

I hope last night was a busy one for you sunnydale hehehehehe The time I conceived ds and the pregnancy I miscarried dh and I bd'd on 5 consecutive nights just to be sure.... overkill? probably! But it worked both times, even if I did go on to miscarry. We only managed a couple of times this month, the day I got my LH surge and the day after so hopefully.... There's never tmi on here is there? Here we are, total strangers discussing how often we have sex with our husbands

Well those funny pains aren't really there any more, which is either a good sign, ie they were implantation pains and the beanie is well and truly implanted, or it was a figment of my imagination and it's not going to happen this month... It's out of my hands now. Good luck for your 2ww sunnydale.

I hope you're feeling ok today wishing. Take care and keep trying to feel positive x

Hi Headfairy - yes, the B was well and truly D'd last night! Actually it was a quickie as DH had to pack, but no matter. Here's a truly stupid question: would it increase your chances if you BD'd more than once on the same night? Not that we did... just askin'!
Like you, I have crampy pains today: something is definitely happening down there. Realise it's too early for implantation (I think) so probably just my egg cranking along. But oh, it feels good to be alive!
Funnily enough, I had someone come to my house last night to give me reflexology: a friend had recommended her as being v helpful if you're trying to conceive. After she'd finished doing my feet, she told me my womb lining was nice and thick. Exactly what my ultrasound had shown: but I hadn't mentioned it to her at all! So if you live in London and need a psychic reflexoligist, I'll pass on her number!
Well, here's to symptom-spotting together. Any more today? I am definitely OV as I type: all that remains to be seen is whether 11.05pm last night was too early to be BD-ing. Hee hee hee . How are you, Wishing? Thinking of you xxx

I have no idea and bd'ing more than once a night... dh can never manage it hahahahaha (joking, but only just)

Nothing major to report today, trying not to think about it and have been mega busy at work so I haven't really had the chance thank God. In the few seconds I've had that haven't been busy today I could have sworn my nips were getting a bit tingly, but I'm pretending that's normal

The day after I detected my LH surge with the OPK I had some strange crampy type pains on one side which I don't normally get, I guess that was me ov'ing. Perhaps that's what you felt, in which case last night was perfect timing

When people talk about raised fertility after a miscarriage, what do they mean? Does your body ripen your bestest egg? Pump out tons of ewcm or make your uterus extra welcoming? I didn't notice any extra ewcm this time so I just wondered if it was a bit of a myth. I do live in London so perhaps I should get your reflexologist friend to tell me in what way my body is making me extra fertile this month, if indeed I am at all

What's ewcm? My doctor told me it wasn't true that you were more fertile after a MC. But I always thought you were. Would you like a boy or a girl? I don't care, so long as it's healthy. Okay then... I'd prefer another girl! But truly I don't mind - any healthy baby would be a blessing and a miracle. Maybe it's only when you go through bad times that you realise this? Or maybe not... I know I sort of took things for granted before the bad thing happened. Anyway, off to watch the news. What a glorious day for American - nay, world - history. Even if I didn't make a baby last night, it is still a night to remember

Hi everybody. What am I doing here?! Have been roaming the conception threads and DS not even a year old. Blame it on the hormones. I am not even sure that my fertility has returned (had only one AF due to breastfeeding).

Sunny - that's fab, I am so happy for you. What a relief and one that comes with the chance of having a go right away :-) And thanks for sharing the OPK experiment. I never used them, but DS happened on CD12 (know exactly, since we had intercontinental marriage at the time), I reckon I ovulate around that time. Ewcm is egg-white cervical mucus, which appears supposedly around the time of ovulation and indicates fertility.

HeadFairy, I do not want to symptom spot, but sounds promising to me.

Wishing, sorry to hear that AF arrived. Sounds like an early miscarriage to me. However, I heard that 90% of pregnancies miscarry in the first two weeks, so it's really very common and no reason to be worried about. Don't want to downplay your disappointment, just mean that you are all ready go for it in 12 days :-)

@ Glimmer. I was thinking about ttc #2 when ds was about 5 months old! It's taken me this long to persuade dh it's a good idea.

sunnydale... I don't really have a preference. I can see advantages of both, a boy would be a great playmate for ds, but two boys would probably destroy our house hehehehehe. My only worry about boys is they tend to leave home without a backward glance to their old ma.. girls tend to be closer to their mothers when they're adults. If I really had my own way (and of course I could choose the sex of each baby without Mother Nature sticking her nose in ) I'd like two boys and a girl, but dh will definitely not let me have a third.... unless we have an accident! oooer!! Naughty headfairy!

have posted a few places, but dammit, i'm back on CD1. feeling moody now, but heading home for large glass of wine soon.

Have got shiny new fertility monitor to try starting tomorrow am.

Hello again Glimmer! Lawks, am impressed you were broody so soon. It took me till DD was two even to think about another one. Not that I'm advocating waiting. Go for it, I say!
Egg white cervical mucus, eh? That's a charming phrase - no wonder it's abbreviated! Happily enough, I had a big glob of it (TMI) the very day I BD'd. So am SURE to be PG soon (joke). Was walking back from work today muttering "Fertilise! Fertilise!" under my breath. Have googled and now know it takes 7-10 days to implant. Still don't know what you all mean by CD1 and CD12 - is it "cycle day 1"? Where do you get these abbreviations? I looked on MN acronym list but they're not there. I think coz I've never actually TTC'd before (ie both pregnancies freakily happened the very month of trying) I am ignorant of all the terms. I like learning them, though. Headfairy, any more symptoms today? MichaelaS, you enjoy that glass of wine. Let us know how the fertility monitor goes - I'm sure I'll be needing one soon, despite my optimism . Wishing, are you there? xx

Well, well, don't leave us just jet, Sunny. I have a feeling you might (plus you had some extra-info we normally don't have access to).
Didn't BD at the right time this week, so really only very slim hopes here. BTW have been thinking about #2 for quite a while (also age-related) but body just said "nope, not while you BF at this rate :-)"

Sorry, Michaela, but at least you know now where you stand and can use that new shiny purchase.

Hi all, been quiet for a while, but have been following the thread nevertheless.

Sunnydale - Just wanted to say that as I'm having IUI, I get scanned every month and have ov'd with anything from 1.7 to 2.4. Also some sonographers read a scan big and some small. I haven't had a strong OPK +ve since my first IUI attempt (which ended in mc) but have day-21 progesterone blood test to confirm ov so know I have. There's another thread discussing this and lots of people who drink lots of water don't get +ve OPK, including one of my friends who had her 12 week scan last week. She mc'd first time too so we wondered if that somehow affected OPKs, but think the water drinking theory more likely. We both decided to count the times the line is almost as strong as our positive. Since sperm can survive upto 7 days, you should have it covered.

Wishing/Michaela - hope you're feeling better.

Headfairy - signs looking good.

Fingers crossed for everyone.

I'm in 2ww too at mo and going to try not to test early or obsess. Clomid meant had a 2.3, 1.7, 1.6 and 1.2 two days before IUI with a sonographer who scans small, so really hoping one sticks this time. Nurse thinks I prob had very early mc last month so am hoping an early mc does mean more likely to conceive.

Good luck!

Hiya all!

The things we do to get a baby eh sunnydale? Until I started ttc I'd never thought how absorbing it could be to stick a finger up my fanjo and see how stretchy my cervical mucus was Oh well, the end result is worth it I think

I'm trying not to symptom spot... buuuuuut.... my nips feel like they've got electrodes attached (not that I know what that feels like, I'm just guessing) But I'm not thinking about it really, honestly

LOL at sunnydale walking down the road muttering fertilise! fertilise! FWIW, both times I've been pg (and maybe this time?) I've had a sharp slightly burning sensation low down and dead centre. First time I had no idea what it was, but I've since decided that was implantation pains. That was three days after ov I think. With ds I think I ov'd on the 28th Dec, we bd'd 26th, 27th, 28th and 29th (Happy Christmas eh?) and I was getting those sharp pains on New Years Eve. Maybe I just implant really quickly? The pg that miscarried was the same, we bd'd around the time I ov'd which was over the weekend, and I told myself if I get those funny pains on Wednesday I'm pg. Lo and behold I had them. This time I tried to not think about it just in case I was making myself feel them. However, I detected an LH surge on the saturday, so I guess I ov'd on Sunday, on the Tuesday again, those funny pains and now the tingling nips. Still I'm not thinking about it, right?

Hi HeadFairy. Sounds promising. With the two pregnancies I had (one ending in mc), I had no signs whatsoever. And I mean: none. And: I was looking out for symptoms, since they were both planned.

All the best to everybody.

Hello all. Howz the sympton-spotting going? Not much to report here, but then it's only 4 days since we BD'd. I've been reading about something called the Deanna Plan. Has anyone tried it? I might try it next month if this month isn't successful. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Wishing, hope you are feeling happier and ready to try again next month xx

HI sunnydale.. when I read about the deanna plan I realised it was pretty much what I'd done to conceive ds! I have a feeling though there's a tendency to conceive boys on the deanna plan, but I may be wrong. Hey if you're like me you're not fussy!

Headfairy (and anyone else on this thread who still has a pulse) d'you think we should find another thread that's more about the 2ww / ttc? Wishing has disappeared on us (hope you're okay, Wishing) and it would be a shame to lose touch. Maybe you're all on other threads already... hmm, I'll have a look.

No new symptoms to report. In fact, I don't feel PG at all...