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Original poster

I’m 48 and want to have a baby

270 replies

mum2boys123 · 14/12/2024 14:24

Hello all,

I am 48 and mum to 2 boys , 22 and 14 years old. I know I have left it really late but desperate for another child. I know 48 is not an ideal age and pregnancy can involve lots of complications etc. but really want to hear any success stories. Im generally of good health but do have hypothyroidism and acid reflux. Do you think it would be wise to go ahead getting pregnant? Please be honest but kind
Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
HealthRobinsonCrusoe · 14/12/2024 14:25

I would be amazed if it's possible tbh. Good luck, though.

DreadPirateRobots · 14/12/2024 14:26

You won't be able to. Unless you have donor egg IVF.

GroovyChick87 · 14/12/2024 14:28

It's highly unlikely without fertility treatment. Even then I don't think the odds are in your favour. It wouldn't be something I'd want at 48. My eldest will be 28 by then. But it's your life and your decision.

tillytoodles1 · 14/12/2024 14:30

My Grandma had my mum when she was 49, and I know someone who had a baby at 46.

Microgal · 14/12/2024 14:32

My neighbour had her last at 47…not impossible.

afluffle · 14/12/2024 14:32

I’m sorry but please address your reasons for having another one. It isn’t fair for the child at your age

Sakura7 · 14/12/2024 14:33

No OP, I'm sorry but it's a bad idea and not likely to be possible anyway. Be thankful for the two children you have.

Even if you're healthy now, things can go wrong as you age and it's a lonely place for a child or very young adult to be when that happens. I speak from experience sadly.

afluffle · 14/12/2024 14:33

The book “house of hidden mothers” was an interesting read

PastaAndProse · 14/12/2024 14:35

Why have you left it so late, if you knew you wanted another? Are you sure this is something you actually want and not just the influence of hormones?

oakleaffy · 14/12/2024 14:35

afluffle · 14/12/2024 14:32

I’m sorry but please address your reasons for having another one. It isn’t fair for the child at your age

This.

How would you manage a severely disabled child?
It wouldn’t be fair on the child who had no say in the matter.
At such an advanced maternal and paternal age , disabilities are much more likely.

You already have children.

Be thankful for the ones you have.

pooballs · 14/12/2024 14:35

People saying it’s not impossible.. surely it is HIGHLY unlikely without significant intervention (probably donor eggs). The odds must be 1% or something, so yes you’ll have people it has happened to (even then how can you say for certain they didn’t have help?) but realistically it’s probably not a realistic option for OP.

WatchOutForBabyHaggis · 14/12/2024 14:36

It's not impossible but it's very unlikely.

I think trying at 48 is unwise. The chances of a good outcome are slim and it's far more likely you'll put yourself through a stressful ordeal of infertility, possibly miscarriages.

I love babies and I feel sad at the thought of never having one again. I would care for a baby every day for the rest of my life happily. But babies grow and they need so much more from you as they age. Do you really want to be dealing with teenage tantrums in your 60's?

oakleaffy · 14/12/2024 14:37

Sakura7 · 14/12/2024 14:33

No OP, I'm sorry but it's a bad idea and not likely to be possible anyway. Be thankful for the two children you have.

Even if you're healthy now, things can go wrong as you age and it's a lonely place for a child or very young adult to be when that happens. I speak from experience sadly.

It really isn’t fair on a child to have such elderly parents.
That’s more like grandparents ages.

Microgal · 14/12/2024 14:39

pooballs · 14/12/2024 14:35

People saying it’s not impossible.. surely it is HIGHLY unlikely without significant intervention (probably donor eggs). The odds must be 1% or something, so yes you’ll have people it has happened to (even then how can you say for certain they didn’t have help?) but realistically it’s probably not a realistic option for OP.

well I know my neighbour didn’t have help because she was shocked and embarrassed to tell people, I called over for a cuppa and she told me whilst practically crying, her eldest was 12 and her youngest was 5 or 6.
that baby is 3 now and they are all great 😊

im not saying it’s a good idea, it’s @mum2boys123 choice entirely, I wouldn’t do it personally but each to their own.

HealthRobinsonCrusoe · 14/12/2024 14:39

I don't think there's any point fretting over age etc once a baby exists - we could all cark it tomorrow

I just think talking about it as a choice you actually have is a bit (very) optimistic

It's hard having these conversations with people sometimes - like you don't want to be the one to say "we're old now" but...

Prisonpillow · 14/12/2024 14:40

What does your partner think?

Do you still have regular periods?

Could you afford things like university fees in retirement?

TwixForTea · 14/12/2024 14:40

Why not foster? It would satisfy your maternal craving and you would be allowed a young child as your own is much older. What an amazing thing it would be to offer a child in need of love and support a wonderful home, even if only for a short time.

Minihero · 14/12/2024 14:41

I wouldn't have thought it possible to be honest. I think you've left it too late and should probably just accept and be happy with your 2.

Ja428 · 14/12/2024 14:42

No. You are 48 and already have kids. This is a really terrible idea.

NewGreenDuck · 14/12/2024 14:42

My grandmother gave birth to my dad at the age of 47,she had several adult children. A colleague gave birth to her only child at the age of 48. I dealt with a client who had her last baby at 51. However for those successful stories, there will be umpteen where things have gone wrong.
Please, examine why you want to start again. There is so much more you could do with your life, rather than having a baby. Try to focus on the positives of not having a newborn.

GreyBlackBay · 14/12/2024 14:43

Do you have a dh/dp? What do they think?

I think the chances of a good outcome at your age are low. I think it is unwise.

Have you considered fostering? So many children you could help.

Clocloxx · 14/12/2024 14:43

My grandmother had my aunt at 47 don't know how she was a raging alcoholic at the time, ivf clinics in Greece accept women up to the age of 54 so it's definitely common
Go for it if that's what you want! Best of luck xx

thejadefish · 14/12/2024 14:47

I had my second at 45 (fell pregnant at 44, natural conception). I was concerned about my age but my midwife said that she had ladies older than me including one who was having her first at 50. I got the impression they were assisted/IVF though and from what I've read the chances are incredibly low over about 45 (albeit not zero) so chances are that you'd need a donor egg. I sympathise - I would have liked more too but given the age of your existing children do you really want to go back to doing the school run etc etc? I'll be 48 soon and much as I love being a mum and I love the baby and toddler stage I'm not sure I'd go for a third now personally, plus the cost of everything is daunting not just right now but thinking ahead to will they want to go to uni, learn to drive, cost of housing, can we support those costs on top of preparing for and approaching retirement age. Easy for me to say though I realise.

PastaAndProse · 14/12/2024 14:47

Clocloxx · 14/12/2024 14:43

My grandmother had my aunt at 47 don't know how she was a raging alcoholic at the time, ivf clinics in Greece accept women up to the age of 54 so it's definitely common
Go for it if that's what you want! Best of luck xx

The fact that they accept them doesn't make it common, it just makes those clinics less scrupulous.

sugarapplelane · 14/12/2024 14:48

Probably almost impossible at your age.

But something you shouldn’t enter into lightly. Don’t think purely about what you want. Think about your possible unborn child and your current children. Is it fair on them? No is my answer,

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