I’m 48 and want to have a baby

[mum2boys123]

Hello all,

I am 48 and mum to 2 boys , 22 and 14 years old. I know I have left it really late but desperate for another child. I know 48 is not an ideal age and pregnancy can involve lots of complications etc. but really want to hear any success stories. Im generally of good health but do have hypothyroidism and acid reflux. Do you think it would be wise to go ahead getting pregnant? Please be honest but kind
Thank you 🙏

Why would you even want to! I’m that age with 4 yr old plus their adult siblings and there’s barely a day when I don’t think how my life could have been like now without having had another child. I love them dearly but it is hard work at this age.

Register as a foster Carer?

Well
As long as you haven't started menopause
But you need to really think about why
Is it because you feel lonely or want someone to depend on you?
Bare in mind that by the time you have the child you will be 49. And when the child is 5 you will be 54 and menopausal.
Menopause is a bugger.
At 57 your child will be 8 and when they start high school you will 60.
Can you raise a child on a pensioners salary.
I understand if you have zero kids and it's something you desperately want.
Are periods regular?

I’m actually shocked at the amount of women who think it isn’t possible in your late 40’s - I hope you haven’t given up on contraception otherwise you might be in for a little surprise- if you still have periods, it’s still possible

We scanned a woman aged 54 who became pregnant naturally. The baby was a Down's child but the pregnancy otherwise uncomplicated. The mum had a natural birth against advice. He was her first/only child.

The mum was fit and well supported by family but passed away when her boy was 12. She'd never used contraception with her first husband so assumed she couldn't conceive.

It isn't impossible but needs a lot of considered thought for both you and any future child.

@Aberentian statistically the happiest people are single, childfree women 😊

I was 21 when my mum had my brother at 48 years old. My dad was 49. Straight forward pregnancy no complications and a quick labour and delivery.

He is about to turn 13 and we have a wonderful relationship despite the age gap. My brother has kept my parents very young and active

You just never ever know xx

Maybe you could wait a few years and then you might become a grandmother
I mean only if your 22 year old meets someone and wants a family, there’s no guarantee but if he does then it’s all the fun but you can hand them back!

My friends mum was around 47 when he was born. My friend said his own cutoff to be a dad was 40 as he is now a carer for his elderly mother and he wouldn’t do that to his children. Obviously all families are different but I couldn’t do it. My children are grown now and I enjoy my life as it is. The thought of going back to sleepless nights, Nappies, Stressing over finances and School places. I couldn’t go back! Just my opinion though.

The odds are exactly 1%…I had my daughter just after my 47th birthday, coming up for 7yrs ago.

When on the delivery suite in Labour with her, word got out to the lead fertility consultant who paid us (my partner and I) a visit in the delivery room to have a chat and confirm it was indeed our own work 😀. He told us we were 1 percenters!

Wow baby at 44!

You'd need IVF and egg donation. And you'd be busy with a baby just as your 14 year old is coming into the crucial years of their education. Personally think it's an awful idea, but each to their own. What does your partner think - no mention of him in your post.

My friend was born to a 48 year old mother - all was well and I worked with a woman who was 50 and had a surprise pregnancy. I left that job so no idea how it worked out. I'd say go for it but don't be surprised if it doesn't happen.

It's highly ulikely you will conceive. And even if you do the chances of miscarriage are probably 40/50%. And chances of abnormalities in the baby high as well. I wouldn't take the risk.

It’s a truly dreadful idea when you already have two children. Why the need for a baby at 48? New man?
Enjoy the next few years now your children are grown. Menopause is a bitch, you don’t want a baby in the middle of that. Also birth deformities etc - I wouldn’t risk a disabled child at that age. You’re too old . Get a puppy if you want to look after something 24/7

I am 61 and DS is 15. I have no regrets, managed the baby and toddler stages just fine in my late 40s, not tired at all, and I don't feel "too old" for him now (no-one has ever in my hearing labelled me as the granny, although it doesn't mean they haven't!). I wouldn't have had another any later though.

I know someine who conceived naturally at 52. First and very wanted child. Im not sure I would like to do it all again though!

You would be one in 10,000 if you could I think, though a friend did manage it by mistake at 47

Anyway, you are likely just having a mid life crisis or a hormone thing. Do you really want to be 60 when your kid starts secondary.

I'd get a kitten. And poss HRT.

And more importantly design a mid life that celebrates being free of little kids

It's less. You conceived at 46; the OP is already 48. That means lower chances of conceiving at all again and higher miscarriage rates.

Two years doesn't matter at thirty. It matters for quite a few people at forty. It matters a whole fucking lot at 46.

My question would be why are you ‘desperate’ for a baby in your particular circumstances.

Stop it

The poster who mentioned twins born to a mum of 49 - sadly pregnancies of multiples are likely to be higher risk and always have been, and medical advances mean that many babies with complex needs that would have been unlikely to survive a few generations back, are more likely to today, regardless of mothers age.
The correlation in increase in ASD and age of parents is likely mostly just a correlation: many studies have shown a huge broadening of diagnosis and lowering of severity of traits required to be diagnosed with ASD over the last few decades. I suspect many older (fully independent and functioning) members of my family would be diagnosed if they were young and in education settings today, and I'm sure a lot of people can say the same. Of the quite a few children I've encountered with classic Autism, only one had an obviously older parent, in that case the father, and he was at least 50.
Some of the comments on this thread go a way to show why we are soon to have a population collapse!

No you are so so old- that would just be so awful for your child. Definitely don’t be that selfish

ignore the schmaltzy my mum/gran/neighbour had a baby at 48 or 49. Not helpful
It’s a bad idea

If you can provide a safe, financially secure and happy home for a baby (or babies) that potentially may have disabilities then yes, try it. This advice would be the same for everyone.

The downside would be the child may have less time with you in their life yet many children lose their parents before they are 30 but that doesn't mean the children shouldn't have been born.