I’m 48 and want to have a baby

[mum2boys123]

Hello all,

I am 48 and mum to 2 boys , 22 and 14 years old. I know I have left it really late but desperate for another child. I know 48 is not an ideal age and pregnancy can involve lots of complications etc. but really want to hear any success stories. Im generally of good health but do have hypothyroidism and acid reflux. Do you think it would be wise to go ahead getting pregnant? Please be honest but kind
Thank you 🙏

Could not be the case with my grandmother, or the colleague, and I saw the maternity notes for the 51 year old. So, yes, it can happen.

Do you think maybe the urge to have another child is maybe linked to your age and body changes? I'm in my 40s and peri and definitely out of the blue started thinking last yeah how nice one more would have been. But only as a daydream situation. I didn't actually want another child.
Instead I think I may be lucky one day and have a grandchild . Although I obviously won't ever put pressure onto my children to have kids .
Also do you worry about the higher chances of a baby at your age having problems? As obviously all risks increase with age. To you and the baby

Definitely not a good idea but I think you know that.

It's not impossible but natural conception at 48 is pretty rare. Your children are all but grown up so I'm wondering why you want to start again at your age? Say you're 49 when baby is born, you're going to be 59 when he/she is ten. And in your 60s when they're a teenager. Why now, after 14 years since your last child? What else is going on in your life? I'm not saying don't do it, just think really carefully about it.

We can't always have what we want, op, that is life.

Make the most of what you have. Everyone gets broody but it really would not be sensible to become pregnant and have a baby now.

You might have a grandchild to cuddle in a few years, who knows.

Enjoy your freedom. You have, hopefully, many years ahead to explore new avenues.

Actually, Greece has a fully regulated, comprehensive and transparent legal framework, with stringent regulations and excellent fertility clinics and care.

Whilst they do go up to 54, ages between 50 and 54 are subject to more tests and scrutiny - with numbers in this age group given the go ahead for treatment being very low.

To everyone saying it’s impossible—you’re coming across a bit wrong and cold. Sure, statistics are a thing, but let’s leave that to the doctors, shall we? OP knows her own body and what she feels capable of; no one else gets to decide that for her.

Honestly I wouldn’t.

Im 7 months pregnant with my second. 33. Fucking hell I am falling apart and I am quite fit. My pelvis feels like it’s going to snap. Reflux is hell. My vitamins are being depleted so fast. My immune system shattered. I have been permanently ill with various ailments. The exhaustion is unreal.

Your 8 years or so off your first born being 30. That’s grandparent territory. Just wait a little bit and enjoy all the good parts without the sleep deprivation and illnesses.

Go travelling. Enjoy your freedom! You have earnt it.

No, this is not wise at all. You are too old. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy life.

Have you thought about fostering? You could still give a child a lovely home.

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17.

Nature decides that it's too late.

It's just a bit tragic when women are in denial about this stuff. Don't get me wrong it's a bit of a mind fuck thinking of oneself as being past such a defining life stage but at 48 you may be menstruating but there's a good chance all your useful eggs are long gone. There's a reason folk turn to IVF with donors or surrogacy.

If you're that bored just run an ultra marathon or join the foreign legion or something :-)

Is it that you desperately wanted a girl? Not guaranteed.

To be honest, you're in your grandmother era now, with a 22 year old.

And you have an adolescent on your hands.

And if not already here, perimenopause is calling - that may be what this is.

A baby / toddler, possibly with disabilities (which are far more likely) will cause enormous strain.

Is there a husband in the mix? What does he think?

Being in your sixties with another adolescent to cope with would be even harder.

Wanting may not be the best reason to do.

Just because science can make something happen does not mean it should.

Gently OP this is very unfair on the child. Think ahead all going well baby at 50.

I don't care how young and fit you feel but a ten year old at 60 and a teenager at 65+ is selfish and sounds like hell on earth for you the parent!

What's the plan should your child have significant needs?

@mum2boys123 This is one of the less discussed side effects of the menopause. I know a LOT of women who had this mad sudden desperate broodiness at the start of menopause, me included. Its like your body is shouting "ITS YOUR LAST CHANCE!!!!".

It does pass, mine lasted about 6 months I would say. I am 51 now, started menopause proper at about your age, and now I am very glad that having another wasnt an option (single!) because I cant imagine managing a toddler now!

So it would be likely that the hormones you need to get (and stay) pregnant are falling so it would be unlikely that you would be able to get pg.

Listen carefully

THIS IS YOUR HORMONES PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU

Get a puppy or volunteer for Homestart. This feeling is very common and like most fantasies best left alone. It will pass, honestly.

My eldest is nearly 18 and we (and his friends parents) are either side of 50. You would be knocking on 70 and it’s not fair to have a very young adult potentially having to deal with elderly parents / illness / death.

You’ve only a handful of years until you can live life to the fullest once your youngest is an adult. Focus on that instead and look forward to having grandchildren!

Having a child in your 40's is increasingly common, and certainly doesn't mean you're "grandparent age"

When you're in your 40's though you ARE 'grandparent age' whether you want to be or not.

At 49 my eldest dc will be 28. TWENTY EIGHT. My other dc will be 26 and 19.

I really really hope not but it's possible I could have two or three grandkids by then!

A 53 year old taking a four year old to nursery is highly likely to be mistaken for the child's grandparent, for obvious reasons.

Sounds like a terrible idea to be honest.

If you need anymore convincing I suggest you borrow a friend or relatives child and take them out to soft play for a few hours. You'll soon change your mind

The chance of you conceiving and then not miscarrying are way less than 1%. I'm sorry OP, you have to be realistic.

Getting pregnant naturally at 48 is very hard. If you really want another child you will need fertility treatment, ideally with donor eggs. This is quite costly so I hope you have enough to support this.

I adopted a three year old at 49 so it is not impossible to be a mum to a child at a later age.

I think it does help we are financially OK and my dh is very supportive.

Just curious but why now, why didn't you think about it a few years ago.

Good luck.

Do you have a partner?

Do you work?

Can you fund IVF privately?

You’ll be 49/50 when you give birth. I couldn’t do it. I am 50 now.

Not fair when they are older.