TTC after loss part 6

[Figtree11]

Previous thread created is nearly full so starting a new one. Will try and tag names

How are you doing today @Nic2908

I’m sorry @moosey89 that sounds really difficult. I don’t understand how people can be so insensitive. I went to a market yesterday where loads of kids were about, and MIL said something along the lines of ‘would you get involved in that activity if you had kids’. She knows all about everything, and I know she said it innocently but I still didn’t know how to answer as just reminds me again of what I don’t have. Sending you love x

I hope it’s not long til you see that negative result @Bellabubble i remember wishing so badly to see it to turn negative. Now I want a positive one so badly! It messes with your mind

I’m sorry about the negative @Beanie14 its been 6 months since my last loss & not understanding why I’m not pregnant yet when it was easy before

How are you @Ladyinpink1 ?

@Figtree11 hey, how are you doing? Hope you are feeling a little better now that (I think) your period will be over? How was your weekend? I am good thank you, I have a cold which is anoying but good because I can't really symptom spot, going to try to wait for my period and not test this cycle for my sanity. I say try because my track record isn't the best lol x

@Ladyinpink1 i’m ok thank you, doing better now my period is done. Now wondering when ovulation will happen this season.
It would have been my due date this month, so have been feeling a bit weird seeing so many things on instagram like it being cosy season, and Christmas etc etc, and thinking I should be enjoying this pre Christmas period with a newborn. But it wasn’t meant to be.
Sorry about your cold! I hope you feel better soon. But glad you’re ok in general. When will your period be due?

@Figtree11 what cd was ovulation last month? I remember you said it was very late, would it stick to a sort of similar pattern or could it be anytime?

Sorry about the due date coming up, it's so tough... like you said especially at a cosy nice time of year and I don't know about you but I find I see pregnant people and things on social media all the time around difficult milestones which makes it harder. Sending a hug 🫂

My period will be due on Sunday... I have hope, as we all always do, but at the same time, i'm sure it will come, my last loss was August last year and I have been trying ever since x

@Ladyinpink1 it was CD33 last month. I really don’t know what to expect this cycle. Last one was 46 days, one before that was 55 days. It’s the first time since coming off the pill after 12 years I’ve had 3 periods in a row so no clue what my normal is.

Thank you, I would have found it tough anyway being the due date, but I just can’t stop thinking how special this Christmas would have been. And now it just won’t be. Makes me aware of everything I’ve not got. And yeah I also find it very hard seeing pregnant people. I feel surrounded by it.

You really deserve some good news next week - it’s always good to have hope, that’s what gets us through x

Aw I can only imagine how frustrating that is for you @Figtree11 would you think about trying/or have you tried any supplements to try tor regulate things more? If I reas your message right, is it getting earlier each cycle?

I understand, it's just awful, I'm so sorry you are going through these feelings right now.
The thing that would help you right now is good news and I hope so much that you get it soon.
Thank you for your kind words 🥰
I have a gynecologist appointment next Wednesday which I was referred to because of multiple losses (over a year later lol) but anyways, I plan to ask about fertility etc too and hoping for some good advice, will share anything I learn x

Evening ladies, just a little update from me. I’ve started bleeding this afternoon so I’m pretty confident that this was a chemical. How fucking shit!!! The way I’m feeling right now is that this is the end of the line for me. I can’t keep hurting myself like this and delaying life for the “just in case”. Losses at 16 weeks, 12 weeks and now a chemical and although physically each one has been easier than the last, emotionally every one has been harder than the last. I feel utterly broken.

😪 I'm so sorry @Nic2908 I've found in moments like this, very little can be said that will help or ease how unfair this is, but as always, you can vent here and say how you are feeling. Be good to yourself xxx

I am so sorry to read this and sorry you are going through all of it. Sending lots of love x

@Nic2908 I am so sorry to read this, it's so unfair, so frustrating and so awful to get ypur hopes up only to have to go through it again. We are all here for you xx ❤️

@Nic2908 I’m so sorry to read that you’ve started to bleed. Nothing I can say will help I’m sure.
but please try to be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of love and prayers xx

@Nic2908 i am so sorry. It’s just so unfair. We all know how you must be feeling right now, and it’s utterly shit. Lots of love to you xxx

@Ladyinpink1 I’m taking omega 3 which I’ve read is meant to regulate hormones, but I’ve not tried anything else yet. My recurrent miscarriage appt at Tommys is in 2 weeks, so hoping they might have some advice. My shortest cycle was when I first came off the pill, it was 43 days. So can’t imagine I’ll have a cycle that starts with the number 3!
Definitely let us know how you get on at your appointment, I hope they will be able to help x

Cd17 and what is going on with my LH tests. I am losing hope.

Hi @Mummysparrow hope you are doing ok. It looks like cd17 is maybe your peak? Would that be different from your usual cycle? x

@Figtree11 I take omega too, it's meant to be very good. Thank you, I hope your appointment is of some help too. I don't know if you feel the same, but it is a harder time of year to be ttc with no success, I think in the summer when you are outside alot and there are lots of nice things to do to take your mind offit is easier but I am finding everything a bit harder. x

So I did exactly what I said I wasn't going to do and I tested, bfn this morning. I was thinking realistically because it's now more than 2 years we have been trying, that maybe it wouldn't happen and I tried to imagine not getting pregnant/having another baby and I am really not ok with it so for now we will just need to keep trying... maybe will ditch the bbt and opks next month to make it less stressful. It is frustrating as I am ovulating every month but with no success since the loss last August now.
anyway, rant over ha ha hope everyone elses Tuesday is going ok 🙂 x

@Ladyinpink1 i can definitely relate to this time of year being hard. I’m struggling lately. One day I’m ok, the next I’m not. Today I just feel low for no particular reason. Doesn’t help that it’s due date month, one year from loss, and like you said just this time of year that’s meant to be magical. I couldn’t give a toss about Christmas this year. You’re not alone xx

And I am really sorry about the bfn. It never gets easier, it gets harder. I hope the appointment you have coming up can shed some light for you. It’s such a relentless slog it’s hard to keep going with it all. Sending love

Thank you @Figtree11 and I am sorry this is a hard time for you, I know I can't say anything much to help but I do understand, I have a few tough anniversary's before the end of the year too and am here when you need.

Do you find some people around you anoying atm? I really do, people that make flippant comments or don't understand things and also I find I am totally avoiding people that have babies or are pregnant at the minute and I was never like that before.
It is nothing personal against them obviously... I suppose it's just trying to safeguard our feelings because it hurts x

I have fertility counselling this week
.has anyone else had that ?

I had convinced myself I was pregnant this month. To the point I was excited to test as was convinced it would be a positive, 10dpo and massive BFN. My moods are all over the place , tearful, aggy, stomach ache so I know AF is on its way. My LP is 12 days so AF will show soon. Feeling so down about it atm. I am coming up to 40 and feel like time is running out. Need to pick myself up but can’t seem to shake it. 2 cycles since MMC and defo not one of the lucky ones to conceive straight away . Feeling pretty shitty today x

@Joleyjojo I'm sorry, it's so hard when you're sure you're pregnant, it's even more of a let down and feeling like your body is failing again by tricking you. You're not out yet, but I know what it's like to get a negative 10dpo, feels super unlikely to turn positive. I've also not been one of the lucky ones, and it feels even harder when people say stuff like "you're more fertile for the 3 months after a miscarriage" and then it doesn't happen. Sending hugs xx

I have miscarriage history , yet now apparently my tubes are blocked

I highly recommend going for a private hyfosy to anyone whos been trying a while

I honestly feel devastated, I genuinely thought the test would definitely be positive. I know people will say 10dpo is early but I just can’t see that changing. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it xxx

Thank you @Ladyinpink1 I’m sorry you have some tough anniversaries too. Feel free to inbox me anytime if you want a chat x
Yeah I am struggling with pregnant women at work at the moment. There is one sat near me who keeps talking about it, and about finding out the gender etc. Instead of feeling upset I just feel annoyed that I can’t escape it at work. Someone else came in with the baby the other week, and I’m embarrassed to say I just dodged around the office avoiding/ hiding from her!

@worldwidetravel2017 i had 1 session with a gynaecology counsellor but I didn’t like it much. I hope you have a better session.
And sorry about the blocked tube, hopefully it’s something quick they can fix for you

@Joleyjojo i’m sorry, it’s so difficult. Last cycle I didn’t think I was pregnant, but was so upset when AF arrived. I felt low for a good 4/5 days

Hey ladies, as many of the original posters from the first thread know, I joined this thread many threads ago last year a day after I lost my twins. Last night, we should have been been getting decorations ready and birthday presents wrapped for today. A year ago last night, we drove to hospital with no idea that life would change forever. Being told our first little baby twin was gone and then 4 agonising days in the neonatal unit fighting for his beautiful twin brother who we had to also let go age 4 days old.

Tomorrow is your 1st birthday. In the early hours of tomorrow a year ago at 00.30 and 00.31 you made us proud parents. Although there will be no cuddles or birthday candles , we think about you and miss you every single day. Love you both so much.

We are expecting again but this time is filled with so much dread and fear. Just wanted to share this update with you all and hope you are all doing well.

@Ella31 thinking of you lovely, your boys will always be a big part of yours, and their sibling's lives ❤️ I hope you spend tomorrow thinking about the love you have for them. Milestones such as a year on are such hard ones to get through, you've shown extraordinary strength over the last 12 months xx

@Ella31 thinking of you and sending all the love. 😔 Xxx