CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

[Ladyinpink1]

I'm really sorry guys, it only works if I type and tag individually but it won't let me tag some. Will try it again

@TheLastRolo

[Ladyinpink1]

@HerbaceousPerennial

@Bugdem123

[Ladyinpink1]

@Wise0wl

@samilicious

@13lucy

[Bugdem123]

Thanks so much @Ladyinpink1 🩷

[Wise0wl]

Thank you @Ladyinpink1! I know this is ridiculous but I was sort of worried about finding you all again. I didn’t realise how this group is a key part of my coping strategy!

[samilicious]

Sorry @Ladyinpink1 my bad being the last on to clog it up! Thank you for being the bus driver again 🚌

@Wise0wl same!

Others I think missing who have commented fairly recently:

@moosey89
@GoldDustWoman90
@CluelessInLondon
@NphysT

[Ladyinpink1]

Me too @Wise0wl it really is my only support.. I talk to my dh a little but that's really it. x

No, don't be sorry @samilicious , i dont think any of the rest of us realised it was full so even if I was the last to comment it would of just been a normal comment, not a link xx

@HerbaceousPerennial I'm really sorry things are so uncertain right now , i hope the tests start to progress and it's good news please keep us up to date 💜 x

@ThelastRolo20 Thank you, no not yet, I have been waiting for my epu tests since last year, they have a huge waiting list. I actually rang them to chase yesterday and they said I am about 4 weeks away from an appointment, the test I want the most is that sticky blood test we were talking about from the asprin thread because I already will be given progesterone, that's the main other thing I wanted to know whether to take or not... if I ever get a bfp that is lol. How are you doing? x

.

[samilicious]

Have you guys seen this Mother's Day campaign from Tommy's? #WeSeeAMum

[CluelessInLondon]

Placemarking here so I can keep up with all of you lovely ladies and the BFPs that I know are definitely coming. ❤

@HerbaceousPerennial - how are things now? Have you done any more tests? Really hope this one sticks for you.

@Bugdem123 I think you were saying towards the end of the last thread that you were almost hoping your progesterone tests would show something specific is wrong, and I just wanted to say that it's completely understandable - if you can put a name or label on it then it feels fixable rather than just being part of the vagaries of TTC. But on the other hand, if everything is normal then I think you just have to keep reminding yourself of that and that it will almost certainly happen again for you, even if it takes a bit of time.

@Ladyinpink1 I saw your post on the other thread saying that today is your due date from your last pregnancy, so I hope you are okay and can take the time to remember your lost little one in whatever way works for you today. ❤

TW: Pregnancy update, ignore if you prefer not to read

Just a little update from me - I had my scan last Friday at 9w2d, all was looking good, baby had grown exactly two weeks from the last scan so is measuring 9w1d. It actually looked like a tiny baby this time rather than a misshapen potato, and we even got a little wave of its arms. Had my booking appointment afterwards with the midwife, which all went fine, so now just on the countdown to the 12 week scan on the 23rd - still feels like quite a long wait and not totally out of the danger zone but I at least feel like I can relax a bit compared with where I was a week ago.

If at any point people would prefer that I don't update on how things are progressing, please do just say so and I'll just pop in occasionally to read all of your updates and cheer you all on from the sidelines - I know for some people stories of pregnancy after loss are really triggering and others find them really uplifting and hopeful, so I totally get it if anyone prefers not to see it on this thread. Sending you all lots of love and baby dust.

[samilicious]

@CluelessInLondon thank you for your post, this gives me hope! If it was anyone outside the group I might feel a sting of jealously but nothing but hope here and positivity (something seriously lacking with me lately). May the lovely news continue ♥️

[HerbaceousPerennial]

Hi all, thanks for the good wishes, really appreciate it. Did a test this morning - proper one rather than internet cheapies - and it was a strong positive. So I’m going to try and stop torturing myself and not test any more, won’t change the outcome either way, plus I had strong tests with my MMC so I know it means nothing! For now, it’s positive, and that’s enough. Someone on the last thread asked if I’d get an early scan and I definitely will, albeit I’m hoping my EPU will agree to do it rather than having to go private.

Thanks @Ladyinpink1 for setting up this thread. Agree with you @Wise0wl it’s been a lifeline for me and I’m so grateful to you all. Just hoping so much you all get your BFPs soon. I really thought those two lines would fix everything and whilst I’m incredibly grateful I’ve got that for now it’s certainly a choppy ride.

@CluelessInLondon so glad to hear your update. Gives me hope!

@Ladyinpink1 @thelastrolo20 I know what you mean, although it’s not ideal to have something wrong having something to point to, something that makes it less random, really helps. For me the PCOS has been a blessing and a curse on that front (never google chances of miscarriage for PCOS), but it’s good to know why I have problems. Hope you get some answers.

@samilicious i had seen it, thanks for sharing. I saw myleene class on the tv the other day talking about it and I was in floods, caught me by surprise to be honest

[CluelessInLondon]

@HerbaceousPerennial That's really good news, I'm so pleased for you! Definitely give your EPU a call to ask about early scans, mine was amazing and just booked me in straight away, which made such a difference. Definitely wise to step away from the tests too, there's only so much they can tell you and I think after a while they just create anxiety. Sending you lots of positive energy for a nice sticky bean. ❤

[samilicious]

@HerbaceousPerennial amazing news! Keep us updated with what epu say

[Wise0wl]

@CluelessInLondon and @HerbaceousPerennial echoing @samilicious - pregnancy updates on here only serve as hope, I don’t feel so envious as I do for people IRL. Do you have a graduates thread with others from here who got their bfps too? I don’t know if I could ever have the confidence to join a normal thread (I did before my second MMC and struggled with the positivity and certainty that a pregnancy would end with a baby!)

I’m ready to throw my CB ovulation tests in the bin, I decided to use my second reader as my first gave me a peak reading on CD 9, my second reader is resolutely showing ‘low fertility’ how can I simultaneously be at peak and low ffs!

[CluelessInLondon]

@Wise0wl Was it your first use of the new reader? My understanding is that it will always show low fertility when it's used for the first time.

I'm on an October babies thread on the pregnancy forum - there are actually loads of people on it who have had previous losses so there's lots of support and understanding of the anxieties of early pregnancy. I think there's a general pregnancy after loss thread as well, but I quite like being on a discussion with people who are going through the same stages of pregnancy at the same time.

[Wise0wl]

@CluelessInLondon yep, a new reader, but I’m getting several days of low fertility rather than the one I anticipated I’d get (at the same time my old reader is showing high fertility). Which makes no sense and gives me no faith that I’ve got any idea when I’ll actually ovulate!

That’s so good, I’m glad you’ve got lots of support 😊

[CluelessInLondon]

@Wise0wl That is weird! Are you using strips as well or just the digital tests? I found it useful to use cheap strips and triangulate with the result from the CB, so I could test more often without bankrupting myself and be more certain I was finding the peak.

[13lucy]

@CluelessInLondon not going to lie I'm very jealous! But also very happy you and brilliant it's all going well. I really hope my time will come soon.

Been a complex time for me, seeing my friends baby at the weekend and at the same time as another unsuccessful cycle has brought up a lot of emotions. A lady I manage at work is also pregnant and recently had her 12 week scan and starting to tell people at work which is affecting me. I'm happy for her but it really amplifies my feeling of loss and I'm feeling hurt.

The good news I guess is that AF has been much more 'normal' this time round which is reassuring - day 3 now and still have a flow which I haven't had since the miscarriage. I'm trying to think more positively about the future but I'm so worried that it's not going to happen.

[Wise0wl]

@CluelessInLondon just the digis! Going to roll with it this month and use them up and use something else next month, I think.

@13lucy I’m finding other pregnancies so hard too, there are several babies in the family, friends who are pregnant, neighbours, people at work. If I stop and think about it I find it so overwhelming. I also wasn’t expecting to lose whole friendships or lose the close relationships I had as a result of my MMCs, but I’m finding it so incredibly hard to be around them. I don’t have a solution, but you’re not alone.

Great news about having a more normal cycle! I hope this is a sign of things getting back to normal for you. Sometimes I find it most helpful to think about what’s next rather than too far in the future as it’s so overwhelming isn’t it? I’m such a planner, this definitely wasn’t in my plan.

[ThelastRolo20]

@Ladyinpink1 wow what a waiting list but hoping you get some answers in 4 weeks. I have heard of sticky blood and aspirin can definitely help

@HerbaceousPerennial @CluelessInLondon I'm so happy for you both! Do keep us updated but I appreciate the pregnancy update warning so on the bad days I can skip past ❤️

@13lucy it's great your period seems more normal, but yes pregnant people everywhere in life😂 I've actually drafted a message to a friend who told me she was pregnant to my face, after her 12 week scan, told me she felt guilty she'd felt not telling me, and how the scan had been so difficult for her (she's not had a bad 12 week scan before - I had). It knocked me so hard at the time I've written a message explaining how it felt (whilst including lots of love to her). Not actually sure whether to send it though...

[ThelastRolo20]

@Wise0wl I can't help as I've never used CB ovulation tests but that sounds very confusing 🤔 do you get other ovulation symptoms to help you get a sense of when it happens?

[Wise0wl]

@ThelastRolo20 gosh how insensitive of your friend. She may not have meant it, but talk about adopting your problems as her own, and then seeking support for them from you! I would send it, but mainly because I know I wouldn’t be able to have a proper friendship with feelings bubbling under the surface.

I had ovulation pains (in both sides?) yesterday, and have clear CM, but not EWCM. Also think I’ve lost sight of what’s normal for me, so am just rolling with it!

[CluelessInLondon]

@13lucy @ThelastRolo20 Thank you to both of you. ❤️ The support from this group both during and since TTC has honestly been such an incredible thing, and I feel really lucky to have found a community of women who are so generous with their good wishes at a time when I know it feels as though pregnancy is something that happens to other people. I really hope it's your time (and everyone else on this thread too) soon.

@13lucy I think that's a really good sign that your cycle seems to be restoring to some normality - I remember reading that it's different for everyone after miscarriage, and I think I remember you saying once before that your cycles weren't always consistent before either? So hopefully this is a sign of some more stability coming and you'll have a clearer idea of what's happening.

@ThelastRolo20 I'm with @Wise0wl , I would probably send the message too - personally I would struggle to move on with it hanging over me and it would affect the friendship in the long run. But it's good you've drafted it and can sleep on it to make sure you're making the right decision.

[13lucy]

@Wise0wl I'm sorry you're struggling with it too and it sounds a lot more intense with you knowing so many people. It just feels so unfair doesn't it. I think I will feel so much better once I'm pregnant again but have no control over that!

Yes you're right with not trying to think too far ahead, I quite easily get in a spiral worry about the future. I think it's all the waiting, uncertainty and lack of control that drives me mad! I also get what you mean about not knowing what's normal anymore - it baffles me that there was ever a time where I didn't really know anything about my cycle!

@ThelastRolo20 that's so insensitive of your friend and a good idea to write how you've feeling in a letter. It's something my therapist recommended a lot - I never 'sent' any of mine but they helped me process what I was thinking at the time. As others have said, maybe leave it a few days and see how you feel. You might just want to adapt it into a letter that you feel you can send.

@CluelessInLondon I really appreciate your support - I think you were on one of the first threads I was on when we both had similar timelines with our miscarriages! Yes my cycles used to be irregular but I never knew them as well as I do now - I seem to be getting more elements of regularity so I'm hoping that's a good thing. Going to try and make the most of our attempt this month!

@Ladyinpink1 been thinking of you today, hope you're doing ok.

[ThelastRolo20]

@CluelessInLondon @13lucy @Wise0wl thanks everyone, even writing it out has been cathartic, will sit on it for a few days before deciding whether to send ❤️