CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@HerbaceousPerennial yes totally true, I have nothing to lose! I guess at the very least I can inform her of the plan.

@Ladyinpink1 feeling much better thanks! Think my period was still short but I was less obsessive over it which I guess is something. Strangely I had no progesterone symptoms leading up to it which I think made it less triggering. My temps are still a bit all over the place so probably still settling down. We are very brave and stronger than we think! Good that your progesterone test is this week, I hope it comes back ok. Let us know how it goes!

@HerbaceousPerennial that's so strange, and anoying for you, I hope you get some answers soon.
Yay for the good weather and babysitters, will you do anything nice with your free time? We are just going for a family walk in our local forest park this afternoon. Feeling ok about the test, I don't feel like it will show anything but at least it's another box ticked x

That's good @13lucy it's nice to have an easier, less hormonal cycle. Pms is just the worst. Hopefully after that more normal period everything starts to settle down.

Thank you, I will let you know x

@Ladyinpink1 I had my 2nd blood test yesterday as well. I hope you had a nice walk yesterday.

@HerbaceousPerennial sorry to hear your cycle has gone a bit haywire. I found it so frustrating that my cycle hasn't gone back to 'normal' still after all this time. It's like ffs now there's another block in the road. I found the GP quite good at doing blood tests and stuff though but they didn't want to do them until 4 months had passed. Hope you had a lovely weekend away.

@13lucy That's good your period was a bit more normal. Sorry to hear you had covid, hope you werent too poorly with it. Its been going around a lot at the moment.

Well ladies I am back to the effing early testing. 9dpo and did a stupid preg test this morning. I don't know why I subject myself to this when I'd been doing so well. I think it's just because I'm wfh this week and it's too easy/tempting to 'just see'. It's this weekend I'm going camping when I'm due on. I just find it so frustrating that every time I do a preg test I get like hallucinations of extremely faint lines. It's like my brain wants to see it so badly that it makes it up. I just keep trying to focus on the nice stuff we're doing at the weekend and that we're doing everything within our power to make it happen - sperm analysis is booked in, been taking a crate full of vitimins each day, eating low sugar, and doing exercise, so doing everything possible. Also got counselling tomorrow so I'm hoping I will feel more supported with that as it's the first time I've actually had counselling when I'm dealing with this part of my cycle.

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been on for a while but I've popped on and off to see how you're all doing ❤️ sounds like some good tests are going on and @13lucy a more normal period is always such a relief. @UrsulaSings123 I also found not testing early when WFH an absolute nightmare - I don't think many people could resist. If you'd like to send a pic of the test I have fairly good line eyes, but absolutely understand if you'd rather just wait and see what the next few days hold ❤️ x

@UrsulaSings123 walk was lovely thank you, I accidently bought churros with chocolate sauce on the way home 🙈, but back to being good now.
I'm so sorry about the bfn. Is this your wedding weekend coming up? I know what you mean, my eyes play tricks with me, sonetimes i can tilt the test in such a way and start to think there is a line....or just reading Rollos message, sorry, do you mean you think there could be a line? I hope so! It's good to have a plan ahead and yours sounds like a good one. How did you arrange the sperm analysis if you don't mind me asking?
So I never tested at all last cycle and it was lovely, but this time last few days I started imagining it could be my cycle and was properly making myself feel ill stressing about it... so I tested today (also 9dpo) definite bfn so I'm out for this cycle, which is ok, I feel so much better knowing, I'm going to try hard to be good with my eating and have restarted Angus cactus (vitex) ready for next cycle... which I was taking when I feel pregnant last 2 times, Just ready to try anything now lol. My period is due on Sunday, when is yours due? x

Sorry about the essay lol

Hi @ThelastRolo20 how are you doing? Nice to see your name x

@Ladyinpink1 not many people could resist churros with chocolate 😂 sorry it's a BFN this month, hopefully it turns around but if not sounds like you're giving everything a good go.

I'm okay thank you, still feeling anxious but one day at a time x

Well I was completely convinced that I was hallucinating a very faint line yesterday as I always seem to do that with preg test, but maybe I did see something because this morning there is a definite faint line. I'm not due on until Saturday so I'm literally just taking it a day at a time. I really have gone at it this month with the vitamins, low sugar diet and exercise so I'm hoping all that has helped. I only did the one test so I have been thinking it might have been a false positive, but I am going to wait until tomorrow to do another on to make sure..

@Ladyinpink1 I spoke to my GP and asked how you would go about getting referred for semen analysis and she said that in this area you can self refer and gave me the number and I gave it to DP who called them and booked it in. As it stands he is still going to go ahead with the appointment because I am not putting any eggs in any baskets at the moment. I'm sorry about your negative... I always find this part of the month so difficult. Not only have you got the period hormones but you have to deal with the disappointment of that on top of it. If someone could tell me at the start of the cycle 'this one you won't be preg' I feel like I could handle it so much better.

@UrsulaSings123 very tentative congratulations but we all know how nerve wracking this early testing can be x

Thanks @Ladyinpink1 we went to the pub in the village and sat in the beer garden 😂 it was really nice. We didn’t talk about TTC or babies at all and we just had fun. It made me realise how often I bring it up. Actually my dad did have a (kind) word later on about how often I talk about it and how he doesn’t think it’s healthy. I was really hurt and upset when he said it but I’ve reflected a bit and I think he has a point. It’s like a self perpetuating cycle and I’m letting it colour everything. I don’t want to think about it all the time but talking about it isn’t helping I don’t think. So I’m going to make an effort to talk about it less and see if it helps. I’m sorry you’re out this cycle. The agnus castor sounds like a good shout, hopefully it’ll make a difference. I love churros! Hope you enjoyed the walk and the treat.

@UrsulaSings123 I am cautiously excited for you! Keep us posted but sounding like good news. Also selfishly a bit of a morale boost for me if you’ve managed to fall pregnant with cycles not quite right, I have no idea where I am now but always hopeful. How did you find counselling? I carried on with mine in early pregnancy and it was very helpful.

@ThelastRolo20 lovely to hear from you! Pregnancy is hard even without previous losses, like you say just one day at a time. I drop into the grad thread occasionally to keep an eye on you all too, glad things are going ok.

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing ok. My period actually only lasted 2 days but the flow felt more normal than last time around. Had a few bad days recently and just feel so sad and tearful. A lot has been brought up as someone I know had some pregnancy complications but all turned out ok. I think it's brought back my feelings of loss and wondering why it's not working out for me.

Decided I'm going to ask the GP about tests to see if they can do them and save me a bit of money. Fully expecting it to be a no and it ending in tears! Otherwise back to the plan of going private but they won't do APS screening until 12 weeks after the miscarriage which is September!

Also struggling with what to do as we want to book a crazy holiday in a couple of months but I want to do it last minute as I don't want to risk being away if pregnant (even though I know the chances are I won't be). So wondering whether to wait it out and cost being higher/options being less or just booking it now ish and seeing what happens.

@HerbaceousPerennial thank you, still very early days. Counselling was good and I actually didn't even mention it, had so much other stuff to talk about! It's hard to not talk about something you think about all the time. As I said before I honestly had to just totally turn my focus away from ttc for a couple months as it felt all consuming. Stopping googling stuff definitely helped me. Distracted myself with other stuff whenever I felt the urge.

@13lucy sorry you've been feeling so upset. It's hard to carry on with life when you don't know what's going to happen. I had a job interview recently and I was so unsure whether to go for it or not but I just thought I can't continually put my life on hold for something, I need to carry on living like normal. Would it be possible to take out extra level of insurance or something so you can cancel it if you want to?

Wow, that's lovely @UrsulaSings123 congratulations on the bfp! 🎊 How are you feeling? Thank you for the info, I will speak to dh to see if it's something he will want to do.
Thank you, I'm feeling ok about the bfn now, deflated obviously but focusing on the next cycle and just wishing my period would arrive early lol. x

That sounds like a lovely time, @HerbaceousPerennial i'm sorry about what your dad said, it's sweet he cares, but it hurts when someone says something like that initially. My mum would say something to me and I always instantly get my back up, then later I'm like ok she was right, must try harder lol. Parents are annoyingly always right like that.
I think we are all guilty of talking about ttc too much, it's hard not to when it's always on your mind. How are things with your cycle so far? Do you have a rough idea of where you might be? Or is it just a waiting game? x

@13lucy I'm sorry things have been so hard, ttc has enough of it's own emotions without ttc as well as the emotions from loss. That would be good even if you can get some testing through the GP, and save you some money. Sorry your af was only 2 days, but good it was a better flow. Not sure if this is helpful to you but I only have a proper flow for about 2.5 to 3 days, then it disappears for a day and then comes back for light spotting for a few days.
My advice would be to book the holiday... different thing, but I have been kind of holding off on (my job and hours) because of waiting for the better maternity pay I would get, and I wish I hadn't waited now. Hind sight would be wonderful so now I'm going to try to change my job and hours a little (dh says as soon as I do this I will get a bfp and miss the good mat pay lol) x

@13lucy I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now - it’s still pretty soon after your loss though so very natural. I found I felt fine directly afterwards and then really struggled after about 6-8 weeks with both losses, I think maybe because the hormones are still raging but everyone sort of expects you to be over it to all intents and purposes. That sounds a good plan on the GP front, hopefully they’ll be sympathetic and do at least some of the tests, especially if you mention Tommy’s, I think most GPs have heard of them. If not you have a backup plan. A holiday sounds good - DH and I put together a list so we did a chunk of the planning but just didn’t book, for the same reasons. Then you have the excitement of looking at stuff and planning a bit, but full control of whether you go last minute or not (we have ourselves options). I do think Lady is right though, I feel I’ve missed out on a few things based on TTC and it just makes the whole process feel even more of a drag.

@Ladyinpink1 god knows where I am in my cycle, the light spotting is continuing with no end in sight. I don’t know whether to see someone about it, most of the time I think it’s a miscarriage/covid cock up in my body but the dark part of me worries a bit that it’s an infection or something worse which could put a baby permanently off the cards. On the plus side, it means I’m not worrying about ovulation etc and just going with the flow a bit more! Yeah my dad is amazing and a very thoughtful man, which is why I’ve actually thought about what he said. I think he’s right, focused processing and talking on here is helpful, constantly reliving it and talking about it on a loop is not. I’m going to allot specific time to thinking about it and also take @UrsulaSings123’s advice and get off the internet and distract myself a bit more! Has AF arrived for you yet? How are you doing today?

@Ladyinpink1 will let you know what the GP says but not holding out much hope! They don't have any routine appointment for weeks which is crazy! It's strange after loss when your cycles change and you need to work out what's normal all over again! Going to have a think about what to do for the holiday... it's crazy isn't it putting our lives on hold! I haven't played sport for a year now and can probably count the amount of runs I've done on both hands. But I don't want to hamper my chances!

@HerbaceousPerennial yes that's very true and I think they like they say, grief really does come in waves. I think the situation with the pregnant person I know just brought everything up again. I really feel like I'm living in a bad dream and just floating through life at the moment! Good shout about mentioning Tommy's to the GP. Really want to get APS testing out of the way as that's the thing I'm most worried about at the moment, and don't want to wait another 6 weeks in order to get it done privately. I think we will get the holiday planned and then see if we want to take the risk of not. The chances of me getting pregnant on my second cycle after miscarriage are pretty low I would think!

Has anyone tried acupuncture? I think I might give it a go towards the end of this year if we still haven't had any luck by then. Pretty expensive though!

I am still loitering around but not much going on with me. Cd18 and not ovulated yet so not sure if I am going to ovulate at all this cycle 😩

@Ladyinpink1 thank you, I've been feeling on/off anxious but trying to just focus on one week at a time. It's difficult when trying to work out things like jobs, but when I saw a job come up I just felt like I didn't want to put certain things in my life on hold for an indefinite amount of time which is why I thought what the hell I might as well apply. Will it be easy to change your hours? Are you reducing them? I work 4 days a week term time and 3 days in the holidays and that works really well for me.

@HerbaceousPerennial If it was me I would definitely be talking to someone about it. I went to the GP after I had a few short periods and they referred me for blood tests and a scan so I don't know why they can't just at the least send you for a blood test or scan just to check.

@13lucy I've had acupuncture and I cried! But I think that's pretty unusual haha and I have a very low pain threshold. Some people actually find it relaxing. I've heard of other people using it for fertility. Have you thought about seeing if your work has an employee assistance programme? Lots of places do. Mine offered me 12 weeks of free counselling and it's been so helpful.

@Mummysparrow when did you normally ovulate before? My cycles changed after my MC. Before they were 28 days ovulation mid cycle, typical cycle. After MC I ovulated day 11or 12 with a 23/24 cycle. Hopefully it will settle down for you soon.

@13lucy I looked into acupuncture as part of my original ‘coping’ plan but it was so expensive I decided to wait a bit. But you’ve reminded me and I might pick it up again. I feel strangely vulnerable about it and I’m not sure why. I’ve researched it though and whilst the jury’s out on whether it actually helps with fertility there is evidence that it can help regulate cycles and it does seem to make people feel better. I think taking some time out to relax and focus on yourself may be where the value is for me but it’s just finding the time really which is the problem, it’s either in working hours or shortly afterwards when it would cut into time with my son. Definitely go for the holiday! And good luck on the APS testing.

@UrsulaSings123 honestly I found early pregnancy after loss even harder than TTC so you have my full sympathy. I had a book called pregnancy after loss which I personally found a bit woo but which I think can be really helpful - the main takeaway for me was to just keep taking one day at a time. The worst is very unlikely to happen but if it does, you survived before and you will again. Hope you are giving yourself lots of TLC. Yeah I’m going to call the GP on Monday I think, you’re right, it needs checked and isn’t normal. I’m just so fed up of my body dicking about, I should be used to it after 20 years but it’s so frustrating!

@Mummysparrow hope you are doing ok. I feel your pain on the ovulation front!

Have you had this before your loss? Maybe your GP would know what checks you could get for it and get you some answers ? @HerbaceousPerennial i'm sorry it's stressing you to worry what it is... i have hope for you and think it will be nothing bad, I know that even a slight hormone imbalance can cause spotting, but it must be horrible not knowing, sending you a hug. Yes it arrived, cd3 today x

I hope you manage to get squeezed in sooner than that with the GP @13lucy I have never tried acupuncture but heard good things about it. x

@Mummysparrow I'm sorry ovulation hasn't happened yet. What would your ovulation day normally be? x

I phoned my GP today to get my blood results, (I have typed out what he tested because I know others are arranging tests too so maybe it will be useful if anyone needs to ask their GP for tests):
plasma fsh
plasma LH
plasma prolactin
progestrone
Oestradiol
Everything was satisfactory, I kind of knew from my bbt I was likely ovulating but I got the exact levels and after a thorough Dr Google search, I am definitely ovulating every month. Which is reasurring but also frustrating because nothing is happening. Maybe cycle 13 will be the one 🙂 x

@Ladyinpink1 I’m glad everything is normal but that sounds really frustrating. How are you feeling? What are the next steps? I rang the doctor on Monday and although my lovely usual GP is on holiday they had a space free with someone else that afternoon, which I was really surprised by. Long story short they think it’s very likely hormonal and just needs some time to settle down. I think they’re probably right, it doesn’t take much for my hormones to go haywire so I suspect it was the run of illness but it’s so frustrating when everything appeared to get back to normal so quickly after the miscarriage. I had a physical exam and they’ve swabbed for infection but she said she couldn’t see any signs and thought it was unlikely which is a big weight off my mind. So I am glad I went! I’m to go back in 3-4 weeks if things haven’t resolved and they’ll send me for a scan and do some extra tests then.

@HerbaceousPerennial

Sorry I havent replied until now, a family member had their baby and it was tough feeling for a bit but all good now.
Yes it's good that it's normal but frustrating too. I don't know if there are any next steps for me as I am ovulating and hormones fine so I think it's just a matter if waiting... which I should be great at now haha. Maybe I will ask dh to go to his GP to get checked, although I feel like unfortunately now... it's a case of "it just hasn't happened yet". Thanks for asking xx
That was great to get an appointment quickly and good news too that everything looks good. How long until the swab results are back? It sounds like you got a good GP too with her having a plan in place for a few weeks. How do feel with having that plan etc?
Will you try anything else to balance hormones? x

How is everyone else getting on? x

@HerbaceousPerennial that's good she didn't think it looked like there was anything wrong, and that you have a plan going forward. After my MC I thought it would go back to normal straight away, I didn't realise it could take so long. It's so frustrating that it can have such a long lasting effect on our cycles.

@Ladyinpink1 sorry to hear about that, it must have been very difficult. Will you have to see them very often? I definitely think it's worth your DH getting checked out. It takes 2 to tango and if there is something amiss then at least they can try and address it, rather than not knowing. And if everything is fine with both of you then at least you know it will happen at some point. I know I will log on here one day and you will be sharing your BFP, I'm sure of it and I'm holding that hope for you, even if you can't hold it for yourself sometimes.

Hello!

I hope everyone is doing ok, some good news stories and some struggles.. love to all.

Sorry I've been radio silence. It took my 37 days after D&C to ovulate, didn't fall pregnant, and I was feeling a bit low. This cycle it took 30 days... so hopefully on the way to being more normal but it was till a very frustrating 15 or so extra days.

I have a question which probably sounds stupidly obsessive, but I can't stop Googling, so I'm asking.

Usually, my LH surge starts around 10am and peaks about 4pm. This cycle, it started some time around 4pm Thurs (estimate, was "high" by 8pm), and peaked about 7am Friday. I had a lot of EWCM on Weds, Thurs and Fri, it stopped by Sat AM. I also had a series of really sharp twinges approx 9pm on Fri night. Temp has risen a bit, but it always takes a few days, I expect it will go up more tomorrow.

We DTD on Tues, Thurs and Fri, but not Sat, by Sat EWCM was all gone and we were kind of tired having had sex every other day from CD12 (I expected to ovulate around CD17).

Imagine you can see where this is going... was ovulation likely Fri night, or some time Sat?

I see a lot of conflicting info around if conception chance on ovulation day, some seem to say it's low, others say it's the best day.. thoughts, for an obsessive Googler driving herself crazy?

@Ladyinpink1 ah I’m sorry, a new baby in the family is really difficult. Glad you’re doing ok. It’s so frustrating essentially just being able to do nothing but wait. This is about when I conceived my first loss so been trying over a year now and further back than when we started. My tests are all clear too, again good but means I just need to wait too! Still very very faint spotting and so completely at sea cycle wise. Sticking firmly to testing once a week and DTD just whenever we feel like it, it is strangely liberating.

@ExTriTrying it sounds to me like you’ve got a good chance! I’m afraid I’m hopeless on the ovulation vs DTD timing as I only ever have the vaguest idea at the best of times so no useful insights but fingers crossed

Thank you @UrsulaSings123 i hope so too. I hope all is well with you x

@ExTriTrying hi, sorry about all the waiting and frustration, we have all said on here at obe point or another that the myth of "you are more fertile right after a loss" just makes it so much harder when it doesn't happen right away. Hoping you dont have long to wait. I'm not sure about your charts as it's dif to what i'm used to, but I have read that dtd before ovulation and having the sperm waiting for the egg is good and you have def done that so in for a good chance. Also your temp will rise after ovulation so whatever morning you do your bbt abd see your temp go up, it means you ovulated the day, or night before x

I'm sorry that date is here for you @HerbaceousPerennial The waiting game is so anoying isnt it, but that sounds really nice just being more relaxed abd dtd whenever, really hopeful that works for you.
I am in a similar position as my last loss started on the 19th August last year and so I keep thinking, how good it would be to have a positive test now a year later... i don't know if you feel the same but with the hope after this amount of time it's hard to imagine as well... if we get a bfp soon we will be so appreciative that's for sure. I feel so old now, I'm technically a geriatric now at 36 😂 any nice plans for the rest of the summer? x