CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@ThelastRolo20 before I had my MC they were about 4-5 days with about 2/3 days of actual flow and a day or so of spotting. I'm now having one day of flow, a day of heavy spotting and then yesterday I was technically spotting but only for the morning and it was only when I wiped and it's gone today. I think I need them to either say "that's within the realms of normal and people conceive with a period like yours" or I need them to tell me it isn't normal and we'll do XY and Z to figure out why and fix it.

All my googling says that stress can shorten your period but I'm really not sure how to fix that. I'm exercising, eating better, prioritising sleep and going to therapy but I'm still absolutely heartbroken and I'm not really sure how to stop feeling like that!

Hopefully the next month flies in for you and you have a lovely, relaxing time on your holiday and come back refreshed and ready to go again. It'll have been so hard for you not to try just now but it'll be worth it once you're on that holiday with a wine in your hand.

@Bugdem123 you're right, you need to know either way and be able to move on with some clarity. Really hoping you get some answers.

You're doing all the right things, I don't think you'll be affecting your cycles with feeling a bit of stress - I think it has to be quite monumental! And quite often a fob off by doctors so don't let them say it's stress related...

You're right, I will feel better on hols. It'll be the start of my cycle which we start trying on, and I'll be able to have a wine in the sun without the worry of early pregnancy. 5 weeks on Friday to go!

@Bugdem123 I’m so sorry you’re feeling rubbish, it’s totally understandable given the line up of dates. You’re right that stress won’t be helping but equally everyone keeps telling me to stop stressing and it’ll happen and it makes me rage. If only we could just turn off the stress!

I hope your GP is helpful.

@ThelastRolo20 sitting in the sun with a wine feels like the dream right now. I’m really looking forward to it for you! You really deserve this holiday.

@Wise0wl Yes I'm the same, I'm hopeful this cycle (I'm always hopeful too, every cycle which is a pain when af arrives lol) but then I start to doubt at the same time, ahhh it's so complicated isn't it. And every cycle I seem to get some new thing happening in the tww (this cycle my sore boobs started way earlier than usual) and it's always nothing, so this cycle I'm going to try to ignore it, stay chill and eat my pineapple 😂 x

I don't have any advice @ThelastRolo20 but I'm really sorry, it's so so hard especially when the bump becomes visible, the person in my life who is pregnant, I mostly try to avoid, which is awful but it's so tough, especially when they haven't been through it and their comments and conversations are very insensitive (not their fault, they just don't know). I feel like the only thing that will make all of it easier for us is to be pregnant again... sigh 😕 How are you feeling today? Can't believe its only 5 weeks until your holiday, how long do you go for? x

Hey @Bugdem123 I'm sorry things have been so tough. And I hope you get some answers from the GP. My period was lighter after my miscarriage... just started getting a bit better and I Googled... alot, what I took from my searches basically was if your period is regular, you can still concieve even if it's lighter x

@Ladyinpink1 it's so important to stay hopeful! Hope the pineapple does the trick 😄 when are you going to test? When's AF due?.

I've felt better the last two days, keep reading my positive affirmations to balance out the other thoughts. We're away for a week and will be back in time for our first fertile window - hoping the relaxation will produce a relaxed egg 😂

I'm glad you have felt a little better @ThelastRolo20 oh yes, a week away will def have you lovely and relaxed, you always hear about it happening when people are more relaxed.
I think af will be due next Sunday, I am only about 5dpo today. I will try to wait but knowing my track record I will prob give in next week lol. I am terrified of another bfn though, this is cycle 7 which I just can't believe, I did ring the epu the other day to chase them and they said the start of April should be my turn for the multiple loss testing. (Waiting since August) so I think if it doesn't happen, at least I have this to focus on.
Hope you are having a nice weekend x

@Ladyinpink1 I can't believe you've been waiting so long!! At least if it's another BFN that testing won't be far away. Cycle 7 is still a very normal timeframe though so everything crossed this is the month for you. My period is due next Thursday - last non trying month 🫠

@Ladyinpink1 that is such a long time to wait!

@ThelastRolo20 that’s exciting! It’s scary how time passes so quickly (apart from the two which is slow as anything).

Given my lack of success with the CB ovulation tests this month I have no idea when I ovulated (had ovulation pain on multiple different days which doesn’t help). We dtd on CD 8, 10, 11, 12, 14&16 so hoping one of those days was within the right timeframe 🤷‍♀️

@Ladyinpink1 that's such a long wait! I know what you mean about not being able to believe it. I'm on cycle 6 now since my MC and I do know that isn't that long but it really feels it!

@Wise0wl sounds like you've hit all the bases! Hopefully this is the month!

@ThelastRolo20 hopefully the run up to your holiday makes everything go much faster.

@ThelastRolo20 I know it's really a long wait isn't it, I was initially told 6 weeks but then they were moving into new buildings and systems were changed so it held everything up... plus I think as sad as it is to say, the demand for the epu because of early loss is much higher than their capacity.
Woohoo for the last non trying cycle, you will be so ready for trying after your hols x

@Wise0wl I think you have done really well with all of those days. Hoping good news for you next week. Are you quite good with always holding out (until Thursday I think you said you would wait for) or will you be tempted to test early? Maybe I will try testing Thursday too and be your test buddie lol x

@Bugdem123 I feel the same... it seems a long time, and even longer when you take everything into account.. like how long it's been since you first started trying or preparing to as well then it really is a long time.
For us, we started trying to concieve in the October of 2022, so really have been trying a year and a half, and I came off my pill months before that to get my body ready and I feel so silly even typing this now, but I was waiting to try to get "the perfect age gap" which in hindsight was the most ridiculous plan, but you have no clue before losses do you.
I know that lots of people have been trying for years and years and when I think of how I feel after what feels like forever to me, I really have an appreciation for what they must have to go through, but also an appreciation for how determined they are to keep at it... they are so very deserving of a bfp.
Sorry I went off on a total rant there lol it's just really been worrying me lately and once I started typing I couldn't stop 😅 xx

@Ladyinpink1 I so relate about trying for the perfect time. It's something I've worried about a lot - if we hadn't waited for the "perfect time" would it have been different? I've been actively trying since May last year so nearly a year for us but like you I came off the pill and started taking prenatals months before that. I'd even started researching prams and car seats and local baby classes - I feel so stupid when I think of that. I had this perfect plan all laid out and I've scrapped it and that's hard in itself.

You're so right about the people who've been trying for years and years though. The courage and bravery it must take to keep putting yourself through this is immense. I'm not a praying kind of person, but I genuinely hope and pray we all get our BFPs soon.

It's crazy when you add it all up isn't it @Bugdem123 And I am there with you, I had browsed plenty online for things. All seems silly now but hindsight would be a wonderful thing to have. I hope so much we reach a stage soon when we are far enough along in pregnancy to go to the baby section in shops and just splurge on pretty newborn things.

What baby number is this for you? I'm sure somewhere down the line you have already said but with so many posts ... x

@Ladyinpink1 & @Bugdem123 hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it! For various reasons I’d decided that it wasn’t a good time to try before last spring. I wish I knew then what I know now. I’m not a praying person either but at this stage I’m willing to consider if finding religion might help?!

@Ladyinpink1 you’re spot on, I think I’ll test Thursday. My last few cycles have been around 25 days (except my short cycle last cycle), so I’d expect AF to arrive on Wednesday.

Though I’ve got pale pink CM again, which I think might be the very start of AF. I really hope it’s not, but I can’t work out what’s normal and what’s not for me anymore. I can’t remember what were symptoms of normal cycles before MMCs and MVAs (mainly because I didn’t scrutinise everything) so I’m trying not to get too caught up in over analysing everything. It’s easier said than done!

@Wise0wl definitely need to make this into a series! Something to not be ashamed about or hide to shield our emotions. There's too many of us who have been here not to have any series etc about it!

@ThelastRolo20 all you can do is trust your instinct in moments like that - always serves us well. Well done for staying strong and not trying yet! On the pregnant friend front - @Wise0wl is right - feel all the feels, avoid as much as you can (daily reminders at nursery are a lot, is there any way to do a slightly different drop off time?

@Ladyinpink1 how are you finding preseed? The applicator put me off using it a bit, but I know a few people who really rate it. I was the same about the age gap and was so worried about my TFMR being too close after my DD, then the worst happened and the guilt came as it does for many. So many people plan and get it right on time, lucky so and sos!

Oh @Bugdem123 what crap timing for af! Short periods are so stressful. My gp said that it doesn't necessarily mean thin lining stopping implantation and not to worry too much about it (a lot easier said than done) so trying to do that 😅

@Ladyinpink1 this would be baby number 1 for me! What about you?

@samilicious that's really reassuring! I've got another appointment next week with my GP so I'm hoping he either says the same or gives me a plan of action!

Hope you're all having a lovely Saturday 🩷

@ThelastRolo20 I've also started to really like affirmations! Are there any you find particularly helpful?

Hi all - sorry I've been quiet for a while, I think everything just got a bit much when I met my friends baby, it really hit me in the feels.

@Bugdem123 sorry you've been struggling, I am also having much lighter/shorter periods. The doctor has referred me for an ultrasound but I don't think that will pick up anything like scarring (which I've been worried about as it can stop implantation). Have yours got better or worse since the miscarriage? Mine are getting slowly better so I'm hoping that's a good sign. Also on the baby number 1 train with you!

@samilicious you're so right with the trigger warning for Dune! I couldn't wait for that part to end! Great film other than that though.

I'm on about CD12 and had a BBT dip this morning but still no positive OPK. Similar to what I had last cycle, so I hope ovulation happens by the end of next week. I'm going on holiday next week and looking forward to a break, but going away always stresses me out so not sure what affect it will have!

I've been on an amazing mindfulness course run by the NHS and it really resets me each week. I would highly recommend it. In terms of affirmation, I really like 'what is meant to be, will find a way'.

Hey everyone - had a bit of a break for the last week. Had a brilliant work trip to Dubai, ate all the food, drunk all the cocktails, lapped up the sunshine every free 30min I could find 😂 it really helped!

I'm struggling a lot with unknowns and lack of control (both with TTC and my job likely being made redundant this summer, third redundancy in 5 years) so trying to distract myself wherever possible and Dubai was a brilliant distraction. Sadly fell over fertile week so we dtd the day before I left and the day I got back just in case but I'm 99% out this month so prepping for month 9 coming up in a couple of weeks.

Until then I've got another 2 work trips and just signed up to yet another fitness challenge in May to keep me focused on other things.

Hope everyone is doing ok - did a scan through recent posts and it feels like all of us have had some real dips lately making us feel down. Sending hugs to everyone who is struggling. Always grateful for the love shown on this forum xx

@Wise0wl ok I will test Thursday too then, it will be a good goal for me and having the company in waiting....no testing before Thursday (telling myself this because my willpower is not anywhere near as good as yours. Lol)
Would you normally get pink staining this far before AF? Has it stopped now? I mean could it be a good sign x

@samilicious I found it OK, the applicator was just like a tampon so i found it easy enough but it does say on the box that you can use it without that. Lubrications aren't something I have really used much before but at this point I'm trying all suggestions lol. And it seems ok to me. How are you getting on? x

3 @Bugdem123 I'm trying to tell myself the more time that passes by then the better it will be, like we will all be so prepared and I think I imagine when it does happen these babies that all of on here will have will be so unbelievably loved because we have waited so long for them. x

Sorry things haven't been great, do you have long to wait for the ultrasound? @13lucy x

@moosey89 hi, I was thinking about you (which sounds weird because I dont actually know you in real life lol but you know what I mean) it's hard not to be in control.
But you were in Dubai, how amazing, can I ask what exactly your job is? (and can you get me a job there too ha ha ) where are the other 2 work trips? x

@Bugdem123 I think they've helped me - I've written them based on my own thoughts. Things like "I am enough" "my friends don't think they're better than me" "everyone has challenges and this is mine" "I am not worthless" "the storm will pass" "life is what happens whilst you wait" and my personal fave of "April is not that far away!".😂

@moosey89 good to hear from you! Glad Dubai was a good distraction/ trip. Hope you managed to relax as fully as possible. A break is the best thing sometimes x

@Ladyinpink1 early April so not too long! Annoyingly it's likely to fall during my period which isn't great. I thought it would be ideal to have just before ovulation as you can see the follicles growing which would have been reassuring, but beggars can't be choosers! 😂

@moosey89 glad you have a good time away, even if it was for work purposes! I'm with you on struggling with a lack of control right now. I'm sure there will be better days for us ahead.

@ThelastRolo20 April isn't that far away at all now, you've done well to wait it out!

@Ladyinpink1 haha don't worry I know what you mean - I find myself wondering about how people on here are doing too 😊 I work in marketing for a small US sports broadcaster, unfortunately it's run by an egotistical maniac (hence my job is unfortunately under threat) otherwise it would be brilliant!

That's a pain @13lucy but still good you don't have long to wait, maybe they will still be able to see other things in detail at that stage too... you should def ask them x

@moosey89 That sounds so interesting, sorry the boss is crazy, was it you that said recently you were looking for something else? Where are you in your cycle now? x

Dh said to me this morning that my chest seemed a little bigger, I have a small chest so obviously i'm happy for that, but I kind of wish he hadn't of said it because now I have my hopes up even more so a bfn will be even harder, the torture of the tww. x

@Ladyinpink1 yeah I'm job hunting currently - it's almost certain my job won't exist after the summer so want to get ahead of it as I can't afford not to have a job (and because it's an American company the redundancy is minimum statutory so it's like 2 weeks pay only!). I'm somewhere mid cycle haha, af should be due around the 27th. X

@Ladyinpink1 sorry I misunderstood what you were saying 😅 this would be my second pregnancy with my first ending in the MMC. I tell myself that too - that I'm going to enjoy all the tough bits just as much as the rest as I've fought so hard to meet them. Fingers crossed the big boobs are a good sign, not too long until Thursday.

@13lucy sorry you've been having a hard time too. That's good your doctor is making investigations! I'm hoping I can convince mine to do the same on Thursday. I'm now trying to stop myself googling.

@moosey89 that sounds like such a cool job but really stressful with the uncertainty. I so relate to the struggling with the lack of control and unknowns. I wish I could know it would all work out as I know I'm not making the most of what I currently have with the fear of what I might not get!

@ThelastRolo20 I really like them! Especially the April one 😂. Mine are "I am brave, I am strong, I am resilient" and "My body is fertile and doing its best until I'm told otherwise". I've also started telling my body I love it and I'm proud of it every night. This is very "woo" for me but actually seems to be making me feel better about it.

I'm CD8 today so going to try DTD every other day from tomorrow. I'm not sure how we'll manage as my husband has a really busy week at work. I'd almost be relieved to miss it as I think getting a BFN just before my due date would just about push me over the edge but I also don't want to miss a chance in case this is the one!