CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

[Ladyinpink1]

I went to reply and you were right, the thread was full so I couldnt post a link to a new thread, also, because it's a new thread it wont give me a prediction to tag when I type a name, so I have just copied and paste the names off of everyone who posted on the very last page of the thread, I hope anyone else can find it OK. Sorry, maybe there is an easier better way... if anyone else can remember extra names and spellings, please tag 🙂

@samilicious

@Wise0wl

@ThelastRolo20

@13lucy

@Bugdem123

@HerbaceousPerennial

@Wise0wl firing from both cylinders eh! Watch out swimmers 😂 sounds like CB are giving you a right royal mess around. I couldnt get on with it but don't think I used it consistently enough tbh.

Having a graduates thread linked to this one might not be a bad idea? Had that before and it was good. After about a year of us all trying almost all of us caught successfully and made a fb group. That was around July we conceived - we just need some sunshine ladies! Though 14 months for me now, about 8 months of actively trying 🤨

@13lucy wow it really is everywhere for you at the moment, so hard having someone at work right there all the time and having to do management things related to the pregnancy too :( glad the cycle has given you something to feel a tiny bit positive about

@ThelastRolo20 that's so awful. I'm a big avoider when it comes to friends so I'd favour distance and silence until I felt able to comment in a less angry way. Because unfiltered me is a life ruiner 😩 you're probs more sane. However, you also need your support network right now so making your feelings clear might be better than avoiding. Writing is good, get a few drafts in with days inbetween can help dilute the emotion in message you need to deliver so it has the best impact

@Ladyinpink1 how are you feeling today? Big hugs ♥️

Last cycle I "treated myself" to a new menstrual cup to distract from AF sads and it's come and no joke is the size of a small bucket!!! Must have ordered the wrong size. Ffs. Well going to feel even more worried about my peedly little post-MVA period now aren't I 😅 great idea that was sam

@13lucy I don’t think knowing more people makes it worse to be honest, it just makes me notice it more.

@samilicious 😂 genuinely laughing at the idea of a bucket sized menstrual cup 😂 more to the point, maybe you could treat yourself to something that is actually a treat for you! I also like the idea of a graduates thread (and the idea of warmer weather, but have less control over that). Did I make it up you were planning a trip to Disney?

@Ladyinpink1 ♥️ I hope today has been manageable

Hey ladies. I've been hiding a bit. Starting to really struggle 😞 our friends who live down the road have just had a good 12 week scan - happy for them but sad for us. They had 2 losses, both at 6 weeks, but got pregnant first month every try. So she first got pregnant 6 weeks after me last year. I try so hard not to think "oh early losses are so much easier" but losing my 2 at 10/11 weeks and then taking so long to get pregnant (if I even do again) is absolute torture.

Me and my other half are going to keep trying until end of July, which is a full year since the most recent loss, then go to see a counsellor together to talk about everything. I feel like we need someone to force out the tough questions and answers. I'm so tired of feeling down and exhausted emotionally all the time. I just can't keep going forever, it feels like it's ruining my life. But then if I didn't try I think I'd regret it forever. Not exactly the most fun choice 😞

7 years since I first started TTC. I want my life back.

Ladies I need strength 😂 I think I'm ovulating today/ tomorrow based on cycles norms and EWCM...all of you know we're not trying until April as I won't stop banging on about it but for the love of god I'm tempted to tell my husband screw it we're having sex tonight 😂

Keep telling myself being 8 weeks pregnant on holiday (if it even happened!) would not be ideal...can everyone tell me April/ May is definitely better and not that far away 🤦‍♀️

@CluelessInLondon that's really lovely news, I'm so pleased for you. I definitely like hearing your updates - it gives me hope it won't be long for me. How have you been feeling?

@HerbaceousPerennial congratulations on the BFP, that's really lovely news. I'll keep everything crossed this is the one for you and please keep us updated 🩷

@13lucy I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but yay on a more normal period! I feel the same about being hopeful it'll happen soon but also petrified about the possibility it won't.

@ThelastRolo20 I'm sorry your friend was so unsupportive. I've wrote a few letters to a couple of friends over the last few months - like Sami I'm a bit of a conflict avoider so I've never sent them but even just getting it out made me feel better.

@moosey89 it's good to hear from you and I'm so sorry you're struggling. It's just relentless isn't it? Sorry if I've missed this from previous threads but have you had any investigations?

I'm back from my in-laws and BFN so I'm definitely out this cycle. Just hoping my period doesn't come until Saturday or Sunday or my cycle will be the shortest it's ever been. Not sure how I'm feeling tbh - I'm sure tears are coming soon. I got my progesterone results which showed I did ovulate so that's comforting. Between that and the hertility tests I've had done in January, I think I just need to relax and accept it'll happen when it happens. Not easy when I'm staringMother's Day, my due date and the anniversary of us starting trying in the face. I'm just so desperate and ready to be a mum and this wait is excruciating.

Hi @moosey89 it’s so lovely to hear from you, I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time and it’s really tough when people close to you have successful pregnancies isn’t it. I think your plan makes sense, but also want to advocate for seeing a counsellor sooner. I’ve found it so helpful as being honest, the stakes feel higher every month and my feelings each month are only getting bigger and more ingrained. I was doing some research into support groups and got very sidetracked by TWGGE, but I’ll take another look and share what I find if it’s of interest. Sending hugs x

@ThelastRolo20 ahh!! My head is telling you to wait, my heart knows if it were me I’d think ‘fuck it’ and give it a shot. BUT April/May isn’t far away, you’ve not got long to wait if you choose to!

@Bugdem123 Sorry about your bfn, but that is good news on your progesterone (notwithstanding it being frustrating for not having a ‘reason’. Mother’s Day is really hard. Do you have plans on Sunday? TWGGE Mother’s Day course thing on Facebook is very helpful around Mother’s Day if you want me to re-share the link (promise I’m not on commission or anything, their content makes me feel seen atm)

@moosey89 so sorry lovely I didn't see your message when I posted mine.

It's so tough and I completely get the thoughts about others journeys, it's so natural to automatically compare.

I think counselling is a really good idea, you've gone through such an incredibly difficult journey and it'll hopefully help you decide what the next step in that journey is x

@Bugdem123 thank you - I think just writing it has made me feel a lot better so will see how I feel on Monday.

@Wise0wl I know, and actually my husband doesn't feel his best at the moment and I want TTC to feel hopeful.and exciting again in April as opposed to feeling a bit meh about it this month. Waiting it is, the concept will be easier next week when this month's window has gone!

Thanks guys for the replies. Don't know what id do without the support from you all on here! No one in my day to day life gets it unfortunately.

@Wise0wl ve had all sorts of counselling over the last few years and it's helped a lot. May well be worth me going back before August, I guess the August bit is aimed more at coming to a decision about what we want to do long term. Which I'm dreading but also desperately need as the uncertainty is awful.

@Bugdem123 yeah I have - a set back in 2019/2020 and another heap over the last 6 months or so. Only thing it's shown is my AMH isn't great but that impacts long term not whether or not I should be able to get pregnant each month. I'm tempted to push for a Hycosy when I have my next follow up at the end of march as I've never had one on the NHS so they might let me! And I've had abdominal surgery since my last one so would be good to just know it's all still ok. All other tests for both me and my other half came back totally normal.

@ThelastRolo20 thank you - it is so hard! Hope you're doing ok, well done for holding back this month. As you say, only a week and then you're in the clear for the month!xx

@ThelastRolo20 that makes sense, esp if your DH isn’t feeling well. After all, it takes two to tango! Are you starting to get excited about your holiday?

@moosey89 that makes sense, I didn’t remember you’d had it before, sorry. I can totally see how making a final decision will stop the sort of stasis that is TTC, not able to properly live our lives just in case. I know it sounds a bit cliched but you must be an incredibly strong woman to have been on this journey for 7 years x (I say that as lots of people say ‘you’re so strong’ to me after loss but I think the strength is in trying and hoping, you don’t get stronger from the loss itself)

@Wise0wl yeah I am looking forward to it! Will be nice to switch off from general life. I agree that the strength comes from trying again, and continually picking ourselves back up again x

Sending you a big hug @moosey89 - I think it's a really brave thing to know that if it doesn't happen by July that you're going to go for some counselling. There's a lot to work through when TTC isn't working and I think even more so after loss, and it's easier to ignore it than confront it - and I can't even imagine what it has been like to be on this journey for such a long time. ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 April isn't too far away now! At least when you're not TTC you can actually just relax and DTD when you want to and feel in the mood, not because you feel like you should.

@Bugdem123 Sorry to hear you're out for this month - good that you know you definitely ovulated though. Have you thought about how you might mark the original due date, if at all? I think you were a fellow April due date?
I've been feeling okay, not too bad with symptoms - the worst thing has probably been tiredness, about a week and a half ago I was totally wiped out and could hardly get off the sofa!

@Bugdem123 really sorry it's a BFN and I hope your cycle is a decent length. Really good news you definitely ovulated though - this Sunday is going to be really tough especially if a due date is nearby ❤️ have you got anything planned? X

@moosey89 my heart goes out to you. A good idea to have a plan and I hope you can get some peace, it is incredibly brave to keep trying and it’s incredibly brave to decide to make a change too. I have my fingers crossed that it happens for you soon xxx

@Wise0wl CB are liars is what I’ve established, I don’t know if it’s because they track oestrogen too but I got flashing, flashing, blank, static on mine three weeks before I must’ve actually ovulated in the end. To be fair they do say they don’t work for PCOS but still!

@samilicious i too have ordered a giant menstrual cup before and the worst thing was, it bloody well fitted. I was so annoyed. I lost it, probably because I go so long between periods, and definitely not because it made me grumpy looking at it…

Hello, can I join?
I had my first and hopefully only loss exactly a month ago. 12dpo and bfn, af due on Saturday. It took us 17 cycles to conceive so I’m hoping this time will be quicker. We’re also about to start building our new house so I’m not sure how we’ll manage dtd on top of that. I’m thinking of waiting until January and then get help if we don’t get pregnant by then. I’m so mad that I went through all the nausea for nothing.

@HerbaceousPerennial @samilicious the cup comments made me laugh, I have one - I find them so hit and miss!

@emmatcc1 hey - I think I've seen you on another thread, welcome! Sorry about AF arriving, hopefully conceiving this time won't take as long but always good to have a plan in place. Have you started renovations?

@ThelastRolo20 We are in the process of selling our current house to buy the new one. But the new house is literally just land with only the first floor built (4 brick walls basically) so there’s a lot of work to be done.

Lovely news on your update, i'm sure you are glad to get that little bit of reasurrance @CluelessInLondon and I hope the time flies in to the 12 week scan, yes please keep us updated x

@HerbaceousPerennial I'm so glad to read that you got a definite darker result, congratulations hun and keep us updated x

@13lucy i'm sorry things have been tough, seeing people pregnant in your life is def really tough, but glad your flow has been more normal, that's a good sign x

I'm so sorry about your neighbour and all the rest of it @moosey89 you really have been through such a tough time, it's good to have a focus point in the future for the counselling, I hope you don't end up needing it x 💗

That's really good you ovulated @Bugdem123 but I'm so sorry for the bfn, it really us exhausting going through it every month, isn't it. Sending a hug x

Hi @emmatcc1 We were on your ttc Feb babies board together last year, it's nice to see your name, but sad that we are both back in the same position all this time later. I'm really sorry for your loss, and sorry about the recent bfn, it really is a kick in the gut everytime isn't it. Do you have plans to try anything new this next cycle? x

Sorry I took a few days ladies, the due date was a bit more difficult than I thought it would be, I seen and was talking to a family friend who was due just before me, she had her few week old baby with her, that together with a few other things meant I had a sad and anxious few days.
Anyways, I'm feeling good again and coming up for ovulation so i've got my preseed, my whole pineapple, and port at the ready 😆 xx

@Ladyinpink1 well done for getting past the due date, it's always a difficult one ❤️ sounds like your primed and ready for this month though so good luck! 🤞🏻🥰

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 did you manage to hold off past your fertile time? I would of been unhelpful with my comment as it would of been just give it a go 😂🙈.
Will be lovely to get away on holiday x

Hi ladies! Glad I found you again - just realised the last thread was full!

Lots to catch up on so will read through now and respond properly to everyone later :)

Me - CD15 and FINALLY got my LH peak on my lunchtime test, so all set to dtd every day the next three days. Last month was a BFN but then we only dtd twice the whole month, and my peak was at a really weird time of day so I must have missed it!

@Ladyinpink1 well done for getting through it. How are you feeling about your fertile window this weekend?

welcome @emmatcc1 I’m so sorry for your loss.

@GoldDustWoman90 well done for finding us, and glad you’ve got your LH peak!

I’m CD14 and feeling really low, thrown the CB ovulation tests in the bin and I’ve got no idea if I have ovulated or if I will ovulate. I feel like a bfp is a very distant hope! Going to settle down later with a takeaway and a glass of wine and hopefully feel a bit better. Hope you’re all doing ok x

@Wise0wl sometimes that's the best thing to do. Enjoy the takeaway and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow

@Ladyinpink1 I did manage to avoid fertile window 😂 it was tough going April's cycle now doesn't feel toooo far away

Hi @GoldDustWoman90 that's good you got your peak this cycle. I got mine today too (a bit early again this cycle) and have had ovulation pain today so quite sure tomorrow will be ovulation day for me too. Are you doing smep then with the 3 days? We will try to stick to it if we can muster the energy but i think the 3 days in a row can be tough x

@Wise0wl I'm sorry it's stressful again 💗, it can be so exhausting waiting and waiting ... from the comments on here the clearblue monitors only seem to work for some ladies, what cd was it last month that the smiley face changed?
Even though you are unsure of the exact day, do you think you will still try every few days over this time? And yes for the wine... did you see the article I posted on the last thread, ladies who drink wine are more likely to concieve 🙂
I feel OK, I have used preseed for the first time and will use it again tomorrow, so feel good that i'm trying something new... just the feeling of actively doing something... I also have port some evenings now too lol so if you and I concieve this cycle we will have proved the wine theory correct lol x

@ThelastRolo20 good girl, you have much better will power than me 😆 Yes April is so close now... i actually cant believe you are almost there, it doesnt feel like that long ago when you were saying you were going to take a break. When in April will you be fertile? x

@Ladyinpink1 I’m pinning lots of hope to your wine research being correct this month! Had a glass last night and am having one this evening, but am generally drinking very little. Last month I ovulated CD17 and had a 20 day cycle; this month my old reader (ie the one I’d used before) gave me a peak on CD9, my new reader gave me low fertility for five days so I binned it 😂 we’ve dtd CD8, 10, 11, 12 and will aim for tonight (CD14). I think it’s starting to take the fun/spontaneity out of dtd as well tbh!

How was the pre seed? Did it feel very slimy?

@ThelastRolo20 thank you ♥️