Hi everyone, I wanted to pop back in and wish you all the absolute best and so much luck.
I haven't been on in a long, long time as after losing two early pregnancies and then a little boy at 19 weeks, when I fell pregnant again in January, it became too difficult to even acknowledge. I just couldn’t talk about it after 16 weeks. We only told about 8 people the whole time.
Our second little boy was born 7 weeks early two weeks ago. We’re still in NICU due to feeding issues, and it’s honestly been hell. I ended up needing a cerclage to prevent another 2nd trimester loss, but my waters went one night at home at 33 weeks. I laboured for five hours with the stitch in as no one was available to remove it, and when they were, it all went down hill so quickly.
They tried to remove the stitch with no pain relief three times before moving to theatre where the spinal block failed, my blood pressure shot up and baby’s heart rate plummeted, so ended up with a Cat 1 emergency section under general anaesthetic. My husband had to leave the room in tears, we didn’t know if we’d ever see each other or our baby again. Neither of us were ‘present’ for his birth, and being in NICU is a special kind of hell.
Despite all this, I know how truly blessed we are to even have the chance to bring our baby home, and I think of this thread often. For years we wondered if it would ever happen for us. Nothing has ever been happy or ideal, but we keep going. The pregnancy was horrifically painful throughout, I ended up in bed rest for four months, and his birth will be traumatising forever. It’s a stark reminder that, when we see someone walking down the road pregnant and seemingly perfect, there can be so much going on underneath.
i hope you’re all doing well.