CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

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@SnookyPook thanks really good to hear a positive about it. Really hoping that I start feeling more positive now I'm taking a bit of control, booking appts feel like im being proactive!! Everything crossed you have a sticky little rainbow 🌈

@GeorgeR28 I have been feeling the same the last little while, I think this is why I've booked the HyCoSy and the acupuncture!!! Just want to feel like I am doing everything in my power.

The girl I'm going to for acupuncture is a specialist in fertility acupuncture. She does blood work, and various other tests to try and use natural medicine to regulate my cycle and hormones, as well as optimising egg growth so will see how that goes!!! Hopefully 2024 brings us some good news 🙏

@GeorgeR28 I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling the same way just now. It's became very all consuming for me in a really negative way. I'm so desperate for a baby of my own that it's all I can think about but at the same time I've became really hopeless and feel like it's never going to happen. I don't have any reason to think that - we conceived on our 3rd month of trying, and are only on our second attempt since, but I can't shake off the feeling.

I'm trying to do things to help - I've started to go into the office again to see if that helps distract me during the day. Next cycle, I'm not doing any testing, we're just going to DTD every other day. I'm going back to a fitness class I used to love starting January.

It's been far harder than I'd ever imagined to continue living a normal life post MC and adding TTC into it (which I didn't really enjoy the first time round, I'm a control freak and there's no control here) is another layer of stress. Sorry for this ramble, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

@Bugdem123 hey, I’m so so sorry you’re feeling like this. That’s exactly the same as me it’s just consuming my whole thoughts every single day- it’s so hard. I am the exact same, I’ve never had health anxiety or anything of the sort before but since it all I am genuinely convinced something is wrong with me. Again, the exact same, we got pregnant first try and this is my 3rd cycle now and the sadness grows everyday and I’m so so scared I’ll never have a baby.
Sometimes I wish we could have a conversation with ourselves but the ten year later version just so all the uncertainty will go away.
im trying to stay busy and some days it does work but at the minute the days are so unbelievably long and lonely.
I really hope you’re doing okay, I’m not in your head but I know how dark most days are. Thankyou for reaching out to me, just knowing I’m not alone gives me a bit of comfort. I’m here to listen if you ever need to offload x

@SnookyPook I'm sorry you have been feeling anxious, you are definitely due a healthy easy pregnancy after your year so far 💗 When is your scan again? x

I'm sorry for those also feeling deflated with ttc, @GeorgeR28 @Bugdem123 @Frustratedttcno2 I feel the same at times because it has been a long time since we started this ttc journey too, but I think everything feels longer and harder after losses, maybe we could concentrate on the fact that we got pregnant, and so it will definitely happen for all of us on the thread, And there is no reason to think it won't last the probability of loosing it I think is much less than the probability of keeping it. Not sure that came out how I planned but basically no-one is alone, we all feel this way at times but it's going to work out for everyone. Looking forward to what 2024 will bring! 🙂 x

@Ladyinpink1 thank you lovely - scan next week on the 21st. Thankfully quite a lot going on this month which is keeping me quite busy and distracted for the most part. It's so hard not over analysing everything though and comparing symptoms etc, even though I know every pregnancy is different (even for the same person!)... It's so hard but it just comes down to "if this is my rainbow all will be fine.. and if it's not, it won't!" - it's all out of my control so trying to keep as calm and hopeful as I can.

Love your words above and they are so true - you have all managed to conceive and there is no reason it won't happen again with a better outcome. Hopefully 2024 will be better for all of us 🌈💕🙏🏼

@GeorgeR28 I've never had any sort of health anxiety before either so this has really knocked me for six. I really relate to what you've said about wishing you could speak to your future self, if only!
I'm going to try and switch my focus onto looking after myself better as I've definitely not been doing that. I hope you're feeling a bit better today and I'm also here if you ever need a vent.

@Ladyinpink1 thank you 🩷 I'm going to try really hard to switch to thinking this rather than the more negative version.

@SnookyPook I'll keep everything crossed for the 21st 🌈🩷

I'm 9 or 10 DPO and tested this morning and it was the most negative test anyone has ever seen. It's definitely helped stopped the obsession for today so I'll decide tomorrow morning if it's worth testing again.

@SnookyPook best of luck with your scan next week. As you say we can't do anything about it/ it's out of our control so all we can do it patiently (or not so in my case!) wait

@GeorgeR28 Sorry to hear that you are finding things so tough at the moment - @SnookyPook has worded it beautifully as usual so I don't have much to add, other than to say that it's okay to lean into the emotion of TTC, it's hard and made worse by experiencing a loss, so don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. This community is an amazing place to seek support from people who 'get it' in a way that maybe your partner doesn't - I feel really fortunate that my husband is happy to talk about everything if I want to, but it's hard for him to grasp some of the physical aspects of the MC and TTC, and what that does to me emotionally, so this is such a valuable space to share and ask questions. So keep posting here whenever you want to!

@SnookyPook Good luck for the scan next week. ❤

@Bugdem123 When is AF due for you? 9/10DPO is still fairly early for a BFP so you're not out yet!

CD15 for me today, I'm expecting to ovulate on Friday if it's the same as my last cycle. I'm still under the weather so having to insist to my husband that we DTD even though I'm not really at my sexiest (I'm like Monica in that episode of Friends where she's insisting she's not sick)! 😂 Keeping fingers crossed that being ill doesn't affect my cycle, but not feeling massively hopeful for this month.

@CluelessInLondon I'm not 100% sure when it's due as I ovulated early so I think possibly due Sunday as that would be 14 days from when I think I ovulated. I definitely tested far too early, I think I got a bit carried away as I got a positive so early the first time. I'm going to try and wait until Saturday before testing again. I will also almost definitely be on here tomorrow saying I tested again 😅. I did the Proov pdg tests this cycle and they were all positive so that's comforted me that I don't have low progesterone.

That's rubbish that's you're still feeling unwell but I hope you're in the "prime of lime" for DTD 😂

Morning everyone. I've left it three days to do another test and I'm not sure it's as dark as it's meant to be. I'm sure it could still go either way but would.be grateful for opinions. Top test is Sunday, bottom is this morning (13DPO)

@ThelastRolo20 the line is clear, so you are pregnant. I would try not to worry too much about line thickness. It’s still so early on and, as I understand it, can vary with so much. (Congratulations!) x

@graceinc22 thank you - I didn't really do any extra tests with my first pregnancy so will try and do the same here. Either way I can't do much about it 😂x

@ThelastRolo20 i sent my tests (which also were a bit fainter than I’d like!) to one of my friends who’s had 3 successful straightforward pregnancies, and she was like “my tests were like that, why are you worrying?” and also to my mother in law who’s a gp, who also wasn’t worried. Post miscarriage I guess I want everything to be just perfect, every test as dark as it can be, but ultimately your body can be working well even if it doesn’t look how you’d ideally imagine! X

@graceinc22 definitely - there's such individual differences with it too. It is there and it is darker so I'm just going to have to take that as a good sign. After tomorrow's first response which I'm planning to use I've run out of tests and I won't buy more ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 it's definitely darker! Easy for me to say but definitely make your FRER your last test. I used mantras the last time at this stage as I was really anxious and I found them really helpful. Mine was "today I'm pregnant and that's enough". I'm the least mantra type of person normally so it surprised me it helped but it really did. Congratulations again 🩷

I'm now thinking I've ovulated later than I thought. I'm so confused by my chart, I've attached it but I'm now thinking I ovulated on Tuesday meaning we've probably not hit the right days. I tested negative this morning so just going to wait for AF now. Next cycle we're doing an every other day approach and I'm not using OPKs at all, hopefully I'll find I've got less to obsess over!

@Bugdem123 thank you, that's what I'm telling myself. It's not fainter and these tests aren't meant to be used for progression in any case. Last first response tomorrow and that's me done 😊

Don't blame you about the testing, it can become obsessive. Having sex every few days is the best way to do it (if you have the energy 😂) x

@Bugdem123 hey - what makes you think ovulated on the Tuesday? FF looks like it’s about right - tallies with the start of the proper temperature rise, the ewcm and the positive opk.

@graceinc22 I think I'm confused by the rise not being that much on the Sunday and the drop on the Monday? Thank you for looking at it. I should definitely step away from staring at it for now 😅

@Bugdem123 I’d say that maybe ovulation was on the Monday, with the temp rising after. You had some high temps in the first half but general rule of thumb is over 36.4 in luteal phase. I really wouldn’t worry about your timing of sex at all this month though - looks like you DTD evening of 3rd and ovulated 4th, so that’s perfect time for sperm to wriggle along ready for the egg! 🤞🏼

@ThelastRolo20 I completely understand the grasping for information and reassurance. I never did multiple tests in my first pregnancy either so have no idea what it would have looked like - a line was a line back in those innocent old days! Unfortunately we all know only too well now there’s no guarantees, BUT the odds are very much in your favour, this is a new sperm, new egg, new day. I think @Bugdem123 is right, best to focus on soothing your own thoughts. Good luck!

Thank you @Oxalis00 I'm going to live in hope and not fear 😊 and chuck the tests for good measure 😂

@Bugdem123 @Oxalis00 for interest, when do you guys think i ovulated? not shown on this chart but i had a positive cleablue digital opk on day 17, and a negative strip opk on day 30. i got a positive blood progesterone test on day 23 so had definitely definitely ovulated by then. my tests and tracking so far have been on the basis that i ovulated on day 18, but maybe it was actually more like day 20? who knows!! not an exact science. i contacted FF support and they said my temps looked inaccurate and so they couldn't be completely sure, but they thought day 17 as predicted was most likely.

@Oxalis00 thank you! That's what I'd thought before I've stared at it for too long and talked myself out of it!

@graceinc22 I can see why you'd say day 20 given the ewcm and the more sustained rise but I suppose the progesterone test maybe makes it more likely day 18? I'm not sure how fast progesterone rises?

I've just tested positive for Covid so at least that's one positive I'm getting this month 😅.

@ThelastRolo20 that last test looks great for 13dpo! I've not tested again since a check a few days after my first BFP. I've avoided the CB week progression ones too this time as everything was just contributing to anxiety! Hopefully all will keep progressing nicely for you! As you say, it's kind of our of our hands now that it's all in motion! 🙏🏼🌈

@Bugdem123 hope you're not feeling too rotten! Probably not the positive test you'd have picked!! 😩😄

@ThelastRolo20 I would take the view right now that any line is good and means you're pregnant - there are loads of things that can affect the darkness of the test line, and they aren't really meant to be used to do anything other than give you a "yes/no" answer. Easier said than done, but try not to stress over the tests!

@Bugdem123 Oh no, hope you aren't too poorly! You never know, maybe it's an omen for another kind of positive in a few days' time... 🤔

I'm getting a bit frustrated this week, probably unnecessarily so - did one of my digital OPKs this morning and got a blank circle even though CD16 last cycle was when I got the flashing smiley and then I got peak the next day. I did a cheapie OPK strip half an hour ago and it looked about the same as the one I did on CD16 last cycle so I'm just really hoping that being ill isn't messing things up too much. I think it's really just a wider frustration that I've felt like my body is a bit broken ever since the miscarriage in September - this week I just feel really icky with cough, sore throat, aches and pains, the timing is rubbish and it just leaves me feeling like nothing "works" in the way it's supposed to anymore. 😣I'm sure once I clear this virus I'll cheer up but it's just getting me down right now!