CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

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@Oxalis00 oh gosh what a situation to be in. When I had my chemical I was spotting for 5 days before I got a positive test and then carried on spotting for another week (so essentially my period was a week late). I would ask for the progesterone but I don't know what the 'rules' are around taking it, as I guess it could just prolong the inevitable? I really hope the doctors are helpful x

@Oxalis00 That must be really confusing and worrying for you - no advice/experience to offer for this scenario but sending you a hand-hold and I hope you get some clarity when the GP calls back. ❤

@Oxalis00 oh how confusing and worrying for you. Sending a big hug and hope you get clarity very soon. 💕

I hope your GP was able to help @Oxalis00 - I have everything crossed for you 🤞♥️

Thanks for your kind words everyone. It’s all a bit bizarre. This is exactly why I didn’t DTD on ovulation day, to avoid and drama or uncertainty over Christmas 🤦🏻‍♀️ (So this sperm was hanging around for 3 days.) So much for that! Anyway, here we are. GP spoke to EPU who have approved progesterone so will start that today, and then take another test in 2 weeks (yeah right…we all know I’ll be POAS about 5x per day before then). We’ll see!

Wishing you all the best @Oxalis00 - great that they've prescribed the progesterone! Right with you on the 'how did I end up with this over Christmas after all?!?' Really hope things work out for you 💕

@Oxalis00 @SnookyPook you two are really putting more weight into the "just relax and it'll happen" theory 😅

🤭😬 sorry!

Sorry @Bugdem123 I know how bloody annoying that is! 🤪 As if anyone could ever be argued into relaxing…

How many dpo are you now? @Bugdem123 just asking as with you saying your normal period time is a good few days away, could you have tested too early and still be in with a chance... or would you normally test positive quite early? I am feeling ok thank you, I have kept up my myriad of vitamins etc and also added seed cycling into the mix this cycle, I feel quite positive and plan to do SMEP, a little bit to wait yet though cd6 today x

4 times this week is brilliant @CluelessInLondon and that will be great to be so busy in your tww, if it's good news it will be the best surprise and if it is bad news, you won't have much time to dwell on it, I hope it's the first for you. I am good thank you, cd6 and it's flew in already, either way I wont find out if this month will be successful or not until 2024... maybe be a long tww lol. I was actually thinking about should I have a small drink or not over the holidays... what is everyone else deciding to do? x

I'm really sorry about the bleeding @Oxalis00 that must be a terrible worry for you, but also i'm happy for you about the positive test 🎊, I hope the bleeding hasn't been heavy and things settle down with the progesterone x

@Oxalis00 @SnookyPook genuinely delighted for you both and it's definitely food for thought. Just need to figure out how to relax now 😅

@Ladyinpink1 I'm either 11 or 13DPO depending on whether we go with what FF says or what I think. I got a positive test at 9DPO last time which is the only thing I have to compare it to so I know technically I'm not out until AF comes, but I feel like the tests should be showing something by now.

How are you finding the seed cycling? Have you tried SMEP before? When do you normally ovulate?

Re: drinking over Christmas - I'm going to have a few on Christmas Day and Boxing Day as I normally would but I'll probably have only have one or two on NYE.

@CluelessInLondon 4 times in a week when you're not feeling well is impressive!! Fingers crossed this is the cycle and at least you'll be distracted in the TWW.

@Ladyinpink1 @Bugdem123 Thanks for the encouragement, I feel like my husband doesn't fully appreciate my efforts this month. 😂

@Ladyinpink1 I'm just treating this month like it's totally normal - I think life is way too short to spend half my time behaving like I'm pregnant, especially when it makes basically no difference right at the start. And especially at Christmas, I would be gutted to have missed out on all the lovely cheese and wine etc if I then wasn't pregnant anyway! My period is due on the 29th this month so as far as I'm concerned I'm not pregnant unless it doesn't show up.

@Oxalis00 Good news that you got the progesterone and really keeping fingers crossed that helps for you.

Hello everyone! Sorry late to the party from the last thread. Finding Xmas a bit much out of nowhere because this time last year we had a healthy 12w private scan and was mid way through the cute announcements before our nhs scan a week later led to the tfmr 😣 grief is a funny one how it gets you out of nowhere sometimes eh

@Ladyinpink1 hope the seed cycling goes well! I liked doing that previously because I feel like I'm getting good hormone balance if nothing else and taking care of myself that way.

Congrats @ThelastRolo20 ! I'm sure your pink lines will be ink stealers in no time

@Oxalis00 I'm so pleased you managed to get some progesterone - all fingers and toes crossed for you! Hilarious about trying to avoid the stress over Christmas 😂

@samilicious thank you, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It really does hit us sometimes doesn't it x

@Bugdem123 I also test positive early so I understand what you mean, it's kind of a pain because it makes waiting and not testing early so difficult and then a long wait until AF doesn't it. I hope that if you are out, af arrives soon so you can start a fresh new cycle. How are you feeling about things today? That's good it will be nice to relax a bit over the holidays, and don't they say that's when it happens...as someone mentioned below .
I did smep last cycle and it was OK, although we didnt fall preg last cycle, I also did it loosely one cycle and it worked the last time I fell pregnant in May time so I have hope for it working! Seed cycling is good, I put it in an activia granola yogurt and it tastes nice 🙂 x

@CluelessInLondon That's good you will find out before this year ends, let's see if your sick "Monica from friends dtd" has paid off (I think was it you that said that previously? Lol)
Yes I agree, not putting life on hold for a maybe positive each month. Just thinking about the cheese, I read a thing before about Subway, should you not eat Subway type deli meat when pregnant? Or is that just a myth? x

@samilicious I'm sorry you are finding things tough. How are you doing? Where are you with everything atm?
Yes exactly, so many health benefits to eating seeds for a healthy egg etc even if it doesn't balance x

@Ladyinpink1 on CD15 now which is when I got my peak last month. Not trying too hard with feeling a bit crap and Xmas being busy, and feel like that's worked for some of the ladies on here 😂 impossible not to try at all but chilling for Dec

Do any of you listen to Katherine Ryan's podcast? She has an EP called 'Meaningful Loads' 😅 about her conception successes. Was never a big fan of her tv persona but her first podcast was about pregnancy loss when I had mine before dd in lockdown and listened ever since. It's brilliant!

Anyway she says having a more 'meaningful load' has helped with conception before, and that's always been the case with me (never conceive in a month where I dtd more than 3 times).

Not sure about the science to it but operating with that theory for next few months! Not ovulation tracking this month, will get into it in Jan with CB as well as strips to start the year off with a bang I think 🤔

Just curious of SMEP.. we’ve tried that this cycle and praying it’s going to work! @Ladyinpink1 ive just read you’ve tried it… has anyone else?
whats everyone’s ttc schedules like? There’s so much info out there, every other day or every day which is best?!

@Ladyinpink1 I'm actually feeling at peace with it today, this isn't our cycle and that's okay. My husband and I had a proper heart to heart yesterday, and I've been thinking about something @SnookyPook said the other day about being frustrated with being down and I'm just so sick of being sad. I think I ultimately need to actually try and move on from our loss rather than holding onto the pain so tightly now and for the first time I genuinely want to move on and focus on the future, and maybe not getting pregnant this cycle will allow me to do the things I need to start doing to do that. I think I've been focusing so much on what I've not got and what I've lost, that I've lost sight of what I actually do have. I've been so stressed and sad that I think pregnancy would probably have been a nightmare so for the first time I think I'm looking to 2024 with a (teeny tiny) bit of hope and excitement. This is getting a bit deep and rambly for a Saturday morning, sorry!

What seeds are you taking? I think you're not supposed to have cured meats like salami, prosciutto etc as there is a risk of listeria (?) but you can have things that have been pasteurised and/or cooked.

@samilicious I'll check out her podcast, always looking for something to fill the silence when I'm wfh. Do you mean only having sex 3 times in the entire cycle? How do you pick which days?

@GeorgeR28 the month we conceived we did 0-4, O-2, O-1 and O, but we've had managed that at least one month before and since so I genuinely think it's down to chance. We're going for an every other day approach next cycle to save me doing OPKs. This isn't really like us - we're very much once or twice at a push a week type of people so we'll how we get on.

@Bugdem123 that seems like a good way to do it! If this month isn’t our month maybe we’ll try that. I’ve been debating the every other day too for the exact same reasons as you, to save the constant cycle of testing and the emotions that come with that.
there’s so much conflicting information isn’t there, scared of doing it too much but then on the same token scared of doing it not enough!
ive read the rest of your post and I really hope you’re doing okay. I get the feeling of ‘sick of being sad’ I’ve had those moments all too often since it happened back in June. It’s like you want to heal but your brain won’t let you, my counsellor said that actually is the first sign of being ready to move on. It’s hard to find words of comfort because I don’t really find anything comforting myself but I just want you to know I fully understand how you feel & things won’t always feel so tough ❤️

That's good you are feeling so chilled atm @samilicious I am not familiar with her, but will maybe check her out. By that expression do you mean she means to dtd less? I sometimes think about that, it's hard to know what is the right way. I would be scared of missing the egg but then maybe she means the sperm would be less concentrated from lots of dtd. It's a tough one.
Hoping the relaxed approach brings success for you, maybe I will try too that if this month isn't a success x

@Bugdem123 That sounds like you had a good chat and have a really supportive dh. And I also think it sounds like you are heading in the right direction... it makes sense what you have said and I really hope that because how you are starting to feel is going to be different and your not feeling quite as bad emotionally then it will happen for you next cycle.

I haven't dealt with either of my losses, I lost an immediate family member at the same time as my first loss and I was so consumed with dealing with that, that I just sort ignored the baby loss, then when I fell pregnant again, and lost it again, I just concentrated on the future and trying to fall pregnant again... maybe that's why I am so obsessive with ttc lol oooh I never thought about that before, this is like a therapy session on here, who needs doctors 😂 x

I know @GeorgeR28 it is so confusing. Some people do one thing that works for them then another thing for others. We have always dtd lots around fertile time, but I know people who have only dtd once and it happens so I think maybe it's just chance... as unhelpful as that is lol. How long do you have to find out if it worked or not? x

Sorry my last post was sooooo long lol.
And @GeorgeR28 my reply to you was about your smep post xx

@Ladyinpink1 yes we’ve always done it a lot too. When I got pregnant I think we missed one day in my fertile window and this time we’ve done SMEP. I feel like my anxiety couldn’t taken just doing it once or twice I’d feel like it’s not enough 😂 my period is due on the 29th so I’m officially at the start of the TWW, I hope it goes fast I hate this time of the month!

Hi all, mind if I join? I had a MMC back at the start of October and only just been given the all clear from the hospital to start trying again - feeling slightly nervous about it all!

Welcome @HerbaceousPerennial - so sorry about your MMC but you’ve found a lovely bunch to share this rollercoaster journey with!

Jumping on to say hi and I hope you’re all doing ok, as well as wishing @Bali200 luck for your scan today 🤞

@samilicious Completely understandable that you're finding things tough right now - it's hard a time of year when there's so much of a sense of what might have been. Be gentle with yourself and do what you need to do to relax and enjoy your Christmas. ❤

@Ladyinpink1 Yes, it was me channelling Monica and insisting on having sex whilst poorly - annoyingly I'm still not better, currently waking up several times a night coughing! So annoying, just hope it clears by Christmas! The advice on deli meats is that anything cooked is fine, anything that's cured but not actually cooked (like Parma ham, chorizo etc) should be cooked if you want to eat it whilst pregnant. So a nice charcuterie plate is out whilst pregnant, but I reckon the best way to eat cured meats in pregnancy is to chuck them on top of a pizza and cook them that way! 🍕😄

@Bugdem123 Sounds like you've had a bit of breakthrough in understanding how you're feeling and how you want to move on from your loss, which is really great. And so nice to hear that you're looking ahead to the new year with positivity. ❤

@GeorgeR28 Haven't tried SMEP (it sounds so exhausting!) but aim for every other day-ish during my fertile period. This month I ovulated on Friday, and we did Sunday morning, Monday night, Wednesday night and Friday morning. I definitely think a lot of it is just random though - when we conceived in July we only DTD twice in the right window, so even though you feel like you're giving yourself a better shot by doing it more, it really does only take that one "right" occasion.

Welcome @HerbaceousPerennial - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. This thread has been such a great source of support and understanding for me since I joined so I hope it does the same for you.