CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

@Bugdem123 I don’t know, it felt like quite heavy spotting for that. I’ve put a tampon in as I’m out and about today and didn’t have any pads in my bag when I realised it was still going, so am going to try and switch off for a few hours and see what it’s like later. I just feel so much anxiety about not being pregnant with a chance of a baby this year, which I know is silly, but still.

@13lucy glad you’re doing ok. Do you have any plans this tww to take your mind off? I typically opt for waiting for AF, but the suspense is difficult isn’t it!

@Wise0wl i have a cervical ectropion which causes spotting - not saying it is that but it’s quite common so possible. It’s nothing to worry about and doesn’t affect fertility etc - spotting tends to stop fairly quickly though. Hopefully whatever it is clears up soon for you and it’s not AF.

@Bugdem123 totally agree on your rant! And I’m glad you’ve had a bit of an epiphany. This is the approach DH and I have settled on, every couple of days and no tracking. I’ve only successfully tracked one cycle but I honestly found it unbelievably stressful thinking I was ovulating and trying to work out when to DTD. It made me utterly miserable. I know some people finding it really useful which is great but I don’t think it’s for me. So the silver lining to AF not turning up and finding out I probably didn’t ovulate when I thought I did is that I don’t have to do it again! Now I just need to sort out the obsessive pregnancy testing… to be honest though I’ll have a good idea when I fall pregnant, I get a lasting raging thirst a couple of days before I test positive. I don’t even know why I test when I don’t have that really.

@13lucy fingers crossed for you this cycle. Do you think you’ll start running again soon? I was out in the garden yesterday which is my happy place so will definitely be doing more of that in my however-long-weeks-wait

@HerbaceousPerennial thank you. I’m just so fed up of it (and you’re right, stressing about ovulation this month hasn’t helped me at all, and we ended up dtd every other day anyway but three consecutive days around ovulation. It would be really shit to have AF back when last month’s only finished just over two weeks ago.

It’s nice to have found someone else enthusiastic about gardening! What do you like growing?

Update: AF is here, making last month’s cycle 20 days long, and only getting a static smiley on CD18. I am confused and gutted and feel like giving up. I’ve never had such a short cycle before and have no idea why it’s the case.

@Wise0wl sorry it's AF, like you say it's a bit weird if you only just ovulated. Have you had COVID/ an illness recently? I ask as last year I had COVID and my incredibly regular cycles went haywire for two months - I had a 21 days cycle when it's always 29 days give or take a day x

@ThelastRolo20 thanks for replying ♥️ I’ve not been ill at all. Other than the late ovulation I’ve done there’s been nothing weird about this month at all (I’ve not even been ill this year). Dtd every other day since CD6, taken all my vitamins, eaten well, barely had a glass of wine. It just sucks 💔

@Wise0wl it's so upsetting when we do everything by the book and it still doesn't work out 💔 I really hope it's just a one off dodgy cycle for you x

@ThelastRolo20 thank you. I’m reassured by my bloods being ok, so I really hope it’s a one off. And I guess this means we’ll be back trying together again soon 🙂

@Wise0wl you'll have a couple of cycles on me still but I'm waiting ready in the wings for anyone trying in April/May 😂

@Wise0wl ah no, stupid AF! Sorry it has turned up, it is deeply demoralising to keep doing everything right and body just goes its own merry way for no discernible reason. It’s like we’re being gaslit by our own bodies. I hope you feel better soon. Glad to find a fellow gardener! Yesterday I cut my roses back hard, bit late for it but they’ll take it. All my spring bulbs are starting to come up which I love. But my most beloved for spring is a lilac I have called Beauty of Moscow, fairly unusual but so lovely. My favourites tend to shift with the seasons though and I do of course love a herbaceous perennial come summer 😁 What do you like to grow? Have you been gardening long? It has saved me really I think

@ThelastRolo20 April/May will be with us in no time at all!

@HerbaceousPerennial similar things! Lilacs, roses, bulbs, dahlias and peonies and a random selection of things that bring me joy. I’m giving growing more from seed this year too, so have some sweet peas and herbs going. I got into it during lockdown as I’m not very good at doing nothing, so the fact that there’s always something to do in the garden has really helped me (through lockdown, also now).

@Wise0wl sorry you're having a confusing cycle. It really does throw you off and make you question things. For me, AF arriving is the worst point of my cycle, so look after yourself! I've not got any plans as such expect a very busy week at work! AF is for on Sunday I think.

Keep analysing what happened when I had a BFP last and I had a huge drop in heart rate and almost passed out on the loo in the middle of the night around the time of implantation. Not sure if that's normal or just random! I haven't had anything like that this cycle so I'm just assuming BFNs to try and not get my hopes up.

@HerbaceousPerennial yes I've said to DH I'm running from next cycle. Not anything extreme but just a few miles here and there to get my fitness back up. I can't wait to get back to it but also think it's going to mess with my head with whether it will stop me conceiving or affect my cycles. I guess there's only one way to find out! Being outside is so good for the soul!

@Wise0wl @ThelastRolo20 I've just had the usual light spotting which I get like 24-48hrs before full af so I'm out this month. Incredibly annoying also put ovulation when I'm away for 5 days for work in March 😭 so basically impossible to conceive next month, so I'll be with you in April/May!

Oh I’m so sorry @moosey89. Are your cycles very regular (ie could there be some wiggle room in March?) This is the heaviest period I’ve had for definitely the last year, if not longer. I wish someone could tell me what this cycle means. Make it all make sense!

@Wise0wl they're pretty regular - 9 or 10 a year are 27/28 days, the other couple are 30/31 (I've always thought it told me something that I knew over 28 days was abnormal for me 😂). Really in March I either need to ovulate a day earlier than I usually do, or 3 days after my late ovulation which would be day 20 and I've never had that so seems unlikely unfortunately. Ovulation has always been day 14-17 😞

Sorry you're dealing with a wierd cycle - it's so frustrating not understanding what's going on! All my tests are totally normal (as are my partner's), I'm tempted to ask for another hycosy (last one I had was private and in 2020) as I'm totally at a loss why I can't get pregnant again given that my cycles are usually so text book. The fertility clinic won't give me any ovulation induction meds because all signs show I'm ovulating apparently 🤷 and we don't want to go down the IVF route, especially not knowing what is actually wrong...

@moosey89 but ovulating a day earlier isn’t out of the question…!

The lack of answers and lack of research makes me so angry. I don’t think it would be so lacking if it were an issue that so greatly impacted men. Next steps for me I think are going to be acupuncture (GP recommended), I think. It can’t hurt can it 🤷‍♀️

@Wise0wl acupuncture is a good idea - I credit it with getting my cycles back on track super smoothly after my last MMC surgery, sadly just couldn't really afford to keep doing it indefinitely. Really hope it's the key for you! 🙏

@Wise0wl i love dahlias and actually used to grow quite a few from seed. But you have to dig up the tubers every winter up here, they don’t make it through a Scottish winter, and I didn’t one year and lost the lot. You’ve inspired me though - think I’ll order some for this year! Hope your sweet peas do better than mine, they always always succumb to snails, but my neighbour has great success so I get some of the benefits 😊 I’ve heard good things about acupuncture, hopefully it will be helpful for you and as a minimum I’ve heard it can be quite relaxing!

@moosey89 sorry you’re out this month. Next month might not be a total write off if you can DTD before you go away, should cover you for at least a couple of days, maybe more?

@13lucy that sounds good! Moderate running should help rather than hinder things, especially if your weight is higher than it was and it’s maintained🤞 and like you say, good for the soul

@HerbaceousPerennial yeah will do the 2 days before and the 2 days I get back just in case (depending on exactly what date in my cycle it is) I won't bother testing though, so that'll actually be nice in a wierd way!

@HerbaceousPerennial I dug mine up last year but am not very experienced with dahlias and so I’m not totally convinced they’ll grow. But the thing I really like about growing stuff is seeing what works, and what doesn’t! I read something somewhere about gardening being an investment in the future which I also find a bit comforting when some bits of my future aren’t mapping out as I thought they would.

@moosey89 that’s good to hear you found it helpful, I’m feeling very nervous (and not sure when is the right time in my cycle to go?) but might try next week as I’ve got a half day 🙂

@Wise0wl I'm so sorry, that's so shit. I've said the same thing to my husband about how misogynistic the care we get as women is and he didn't really get it until I had the MC. The look on his face when he realised what they expected of me and how we were treated 😅.

I've been looking into acupuncture or reflexology too; I might see if I can book in someone once I get paid.

I'm still riding high on my "no tracking" decision but I know that that will likely change come next week when my period is due and I have my usual PMS. Hope you're all getting on okay 🩷

Hi Ladies, sorry I was MIA for a few days, I was feeling ok but a little defeated about my bfn and have had the feeling of "is this ever going to happen" like it's too good to be true, but I'm hopeful at the same time, if any of that makes sense. Anyways, I'm on cd1 today, cycle 7 ttc for me since my last loss, it's the longest it has ever taken so think that's getting to me as well (plus my age) . I plan on trying pre seed this cycle which I have never used before as I read the amazon reviews and they are very good, I might try eating a little healthier too x

@Wise0wl I'm sorry af has arrived and at such a confusing time, that makes it so tough. How are you feeling? What cycle is this since your loss? Just wondering with it being such a heavy flow could your body still be getting back to normal and this is it having a good flush out then next cycle will be back to normal xx

@Bugdem123 did your temp go back up? I hate when that happens, it makes things so uncertain feeling x

How is everyone else? I'm really sorry for the bfn and other ladies who's af has started, I read all of the comments but I'm struggling to keep up with who is where, feel like i need to write it all down then reply lol. Hope everyone's Tuesday goes well xx

Hi @Bugdem123, thank you. It really is isn’t it! Also after exploring the cost of acupuncture I’m waiting until after pay day 🙈

@Ladyinpink1 I’m so sorry about your bfn, and don’t blame you at all for taking time out. I find as soon as I’ve accepted AF’s arrival I feel a bit more positive, so whilst I was ready to throw in the towel on Sunday I actually feel ok now. Something weird was definitely up with my last cycle, four weeks ago when I last had AF I had real pregnancy symptoms (including producing colostrum, which I’ve only ever had when pregnant) so I’m hoping this period two weeks later means I’m officially on CD3 and this cycle will be more normal. This is cycle 4 since my last MMC. So for me it was MMC in July, pregnant again in October (so 3 cycles); MMC in December but I’ve had three periods since then given this weird last cycle.

Are you trying anything different this month? X

@Ladyinpink1 I know that feeling all too well, it's really hard to feel both completely hopeless and also hopeful at the same time! I feel like I'm at a point where I find the idea of actually getting pregnant a fantasy, like I can't believe that it's happening for people and they then have babies, it's seems so impossible for me. I've been trying to eat a bit healthier too- I seem to be able to manage it other than the week before my period and the week of my period 😅.

I've stopped tracking my BBT - It was driving me mad. I'm going on the basis that I ovulated on Friday so I'll be due AF on the 8th. I'm away for a week at my husband's parents from Saturday and I'm not going to take tests with me so I'll find out when I come back I guess. Given the weird temps, I'm not expecting much from this cycle but so far I'm feeling okay about it. I've started to actually look forward to our holiday in May and I'm no longer expecting to be pregnant by it. I don't know what's happened, but it feels like something had shifted in my brain. I'll no doubt be back crying by this time next week but I'll enjoy it while it lasts 😂

@Bugdem123 I feel the same way! Just can't even imagine being pregnant or having a baby. It's weird. It's all I wanted for so long and now I just can't remember feeling excited about it or picturing myself with a family.

The uncertainty is killing me and I've also basically been told I've got around 6 months to find a new job as half the company is being moved to another company. Everything is just up in the air, I'm job hunting whilst TTC which is not what I'd choose!