CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

Lots to catch up on -

So pleased for you @CluelessInLondon, I have everything crossed for a sticky bean and healthy pregnancy for you!

@13lucy the CB works (at least the one I have) by showing a circle when no peak is detected, a flashing smiley when you’re high fertility, and a static smiley when you’re at peak fertility, indicating you’re likely to ovulate in the next 48 hours. I’ve used it quite a few times before and always had a couple of days of high before a peak, only this cycle I’ve had six days of flashing smileys and no static smiley. So, who knows?

Sorry you’re feeling down though, I’m trying to spend as much time outside and off my phone as possible and I’m finding that’s helping. Also this sounds bad but sometimes it’s just a bit overwhelming going through all this with DH, and a bit of time apart helps, if that might be useful for you? Off to see a wonderful friend tomorrow who is 7 months pregnant (because who isn’t pregnant or just had a baby in my life, these days? 🤷‍♀️)

@samilicious I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow! I’ve never tested early, it’s about the only thing in my life I seem to have some sort of patience for 😂

Hope you’re doing ok @Bugdem123 and sorry about your knee. I hope the rest has been helpful for you x

I’m so, so sorry @moosey89. It’s not fair, and your feelings are valid. I hope you can cry and rage and feel all your feelings, and that in time they pass (still waiting for them to pass here, but am unapologetic about it!) put yourself first x

@HerbaceousPerennial I’m sorry about your negative test, I really hope it’s too early 🤞

Just going to post this mad thought to get it out of my head, and because I can’t even utter such madness to DH:

the obvious reason that I’m getting 6 days of ‘high fertility’ and no peak, yet, is because I’m ovulating late or not ovulating this month. Even though that’s so uncharacteristic for me

but

there’s a tiny part of me that wonders if maybe, just maybe it might be because I’m pregnant. I know that’s an insane thought because of AF last week (short, light, but as many of you know that’s not unusual post loss; yet I’ve had bleeding in 2/3 pregnancies…)

I know it’s mad. But hope’s a tease isn’t it, and Google never helps. Maybe I’ll test on Monday just to rule it out, if no static smiley before then…?

It isn't a mad thought at all @Wise0wl . And without unnecessarily raising your hopes, because I dont want to do that, (even though if your like me you will always be painfully hopeful mo matter what!) But I know what you mean because I have read on here people saying that pregnancy can give a positive opk reading... can't remember all the deets but if you Google it you will see all of the stories. How many dpo are you now? x

@Ladyinpink1 thank you for not saying I’m mad!

well that’s the thing. Based on my cb ovulation tests I’ve not ovulated yet (on day 6 today of a flashing smiley). I’m theoretically CD13 (but have short cycles, so expected my ‘peak’ yesterday).

I just can’t help but wonder if my AF last week was actually AF or if it was just yet more bleeding because I have bleeding and spotting all the time? It’s so, so unlikely I know.

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking because I really don’t want to keep dtd every night. This week has been such a long week 😂

@Ladyinpink1 thank you, I hope so. If my temp is still high tomorrow then I think I'll settle for the fact I must have ovulated suuuper early and missed my peak! I'm still doing OPKs and today's was a little darker but I don't think it means anything. Just frustrating that (if I have ovulated) we haven't made the most of it. Although maybe it's a good sign that I've been slightly less obsessive with tracking?! Sorry you've had a strange one too! Doesn't help with planning or knowing what's going on with your body!

@Wise0wl my fingers are crossed for you! I'm trying to spend some time away from DH but we both work from home so it's hard! I think the loss is still affecting him as well. It's quite sad really as we've never had any issues before. I may have to invest in CB next cycle and see how it goes!

@13lucy WFH is great for so many reasons but I’m looking forward to some office days next week to get a bit of a break to be honest! What we’re all going through is so hard and so intense. My DH is always there (great, and supportive. But he is always there which means I find it so hard to get the space I crave sometimes. (And thanks, I know it’s wishful thinking and I’m sure it’s because of late/no ovulation, which is much more likely!) I hope you can carve out some time for yourself this week x

@Wise0wl @13lucy glad I'm not the only one craving space with a similar joint WFH sitch

@Wise0wl deffo not mad, I had positive OPK when pregnant previously! Definitely a possibility

Ok I think I've been having a panic attack for the last 18 hours. Is there anything here at all or am I losing my marbles? Only just done it (10 min ago) usually BFN there's nothing my desperate mind can cling onto there at all 😅

@samilicious definitely a shadow of a line I think! But it does look quite far left is the only thing. Test again?

@Wise0wl not mad at all. I would definitely be testing… but I am aware I am a compulsive tester so that may not be good advice at all.

I tested again this morning, stupid idea, still blanker than blank. Preparing to be out this month but if I am I’m hoping I at least get a period and didn’t just imagine ovulation

@samilicious I would test again, how many DPO are you?

@HerbaceousPerennial sorry to hear about the BFN, do you have a regular luteal phase if you ovulate?

My temp was slightly down this morning so I am still none the wiser with this weird cycle. Both of my apps think I've ovulated but I don't think I have as my post ovulation temps don't fluctuate this much. Sooo frustrating and just reinforces the fact I can't trust my body 😫

Ooooh, I can see a light line in both pictures! @samilicious but especially in the left photo. Maybe will be a bit easier to see in tomorrow or Tuesdays test x

I'm sorry about this mornings test @HerbaceousPerennial x 💜

@13lucy is it down past the cover line or just down a little? I feel your frustration, a not simple out of the blue cycle is a pain. x

@samilicious also definitely see a line in both! Fingers crossed for you!

Am 4DPO and strongly resisting the urge to test even though I know it REALLY is too early 🤣

I can see a faint line in both @samilicious. Keep us posted? 🤞

@HerbaceousPerennial sorry about this morning’s bfn, how many dpo are you?

Another flashing smiley this morning, so now that’s seven in a row. I’ve had to pay a small fortune to Prime some more test strips as I’ve run out, we’ll see what tomorrow brings.

I’ve added a few additional vitamins this month, so wondered if that could be delaying ovulation? 🤷‍♀️

@Wise0wl only 11DPO (possibly 10) so it’s not over til the fat lady sings as they say, there’s still time. But not looking hopeful, I’ve no symptoms either, so trying to prepare. I’m surprised at how badly it’s affected me today to be honest, I thought I was feeling a lot more stable about it. Miscarriage is just the gift that keeps on giving! Vitamins can delay ovulation so it could be that; CB tests for oestrogen as well as LH so could be that the oestrogen is high but the LH isn’t yet? I don’t know what that would mean though!

@13lucy no idea how long my luteal phase is as this is the first time I’ve (possibly) identified ovulation so this is very much a learning cycle for me. Hope you manage to get some space from your DH - I have been known to just ask mine to go out for that very reason! I definitely need my alone time

@Ladyinpink1 technically above the coverline but I'm not convinced! LH was slightly higher today but still not positive. I think I need a few more days to see what's going on!

@HerbaceousPerennial really positive that you've been able to track this cycle. We are going to plan a short getaway next month and hope that helps. We are really close and get on well, I think it just all the stress that has got in the way 😔

@Wise0wl I couldn't believe how much the CB tests cost! Do you have to buy a new one each cycle?! Don't think they would be financially viable with me being a late ovulator 😂

@HerbaceousPerennial I thought the same, compared with when I got a positive previously on these tests and position was far across then too. Sorry about your bfn - that's what I was expecting this morning. This squinted/evap line is blagging my head

@13lucy 13 DPO now according to Flo. How long would you say between retesting? Might try fmu tomorrow morning but is it every few days HCG is supposed to double?

@Ladyinpink1 thank you! I hope so. Petrified either way tbh x

Something hormonally going on because the deep stomach churn has been so intense since last night. Started first thing as soon as I got up before I had chance to think about doing the test. Bleurgh nothing ever straightforward is it!

@samilicious I'm not sure. When would you expect your period to arrive? You could always give it another day or two if you can wait?

@samilicious yes I think you’re right, now I think about it my BFP with my son the lines were much further apart than I was expecting so this is looking (cautiously) optimistic for you 🤞🤞🤞 hCG doubles every 2-3 days in early stages I think so might be quite a difference by tomorrow or the next day. Really, really rooting for you here.

@13lucy I’ve been mixing and matching with CB and the strip tests for this reason, so I used the cheapies until it looked vaguely like something was happening, then switched to CB. I did have some CB freebies off a friend though as well. Was feeling really positive about being able to track this cycle so need to get that feeling back! Hope you have a wonderful time on your getaway, I think a break from routine is great for reconnecting and for DH and I also having any big chats which we never seem to get round to at home.

@HerbaceousPerennial I’m sorry you’re feeling low. It’s shit how we think we’re prepared for a bfn, and know that a positive test means anxiety anyway, but a bfn or AF arriving is like a punch to the stomach. You’re right, I’ve got high oestrogen but no detected LH yet (and I’ve even just tested again now, and nothing!)

@13lucy they are really expensive, I know! But tbf I’ve used one pack so far, as you can re-use the reader, and a new test stick each day. So it’s not been that expensive until now.

Fingers crossed @samilicious. My head says test again on Tuesday but in your shoes I know I’d test with FMU tomorrow x

@Herewegoagain0 I am 7dpo (or maybe 6, it's been a weird cycle) and resisting the urge too. I am going to try to hold out until 11dpo at least because the early testing kills me emotionally but at the same time I'm dying to do it... lol x

I'm sorry @HerbaceousPerennial it is like a kick to the gut I think when this happens isn't it. How are you feeling today? x 💜

Yeah @13lucy that has just got even more confusing, hoping it gets clearer soon! x

@Wise0wl I just read your message about a punch to the stomach... almost exactly how I was just typing to herb. You obviously feel the same way as I do. How is this mornings test? x

BFN on a test from the same pack this morning. Must have been an evap yesterday. Read lots about them in frer but always had good experiences (bfn or bfps) and like using the same brand to test against previous uses. Got a BFP 12DPO on them with DD so when I got that tiny line yesterday at 13 I think I knew it was too good to be true. Still stupidly let myself have a tiny bit of hope for a second and thought about being pregnant at the same time as my friend and it being nice at the christening yesterday. Ffs.

Think I might be done with active TTC for a bit for my mental health but will check back in a few cycles and see if you ladies are still here. I haven't let myself be hopeful in so long, just feels like another loss again. Also two days late now and only had a tiny bit of brown discharge and no pms so god knows what's going on. Ugh :(

@Ladyinpink1 i chickened out of doing a pregnancy test, but got yet another flashing smiley on the ovulation test. Sorry you feel the same, it’s really hard isn’t it.

@samilicious sending so much love ♥️ I’m so sorry. I find the bfn hard, but the loss of all the possibilities of a bfp harder. I can’t help but imagine my life as it might be and the bfn puts a stop to that. Have you explored some MH support? X

@samilicious I'm so sorry 😔 be kind to yourself and take the time you need xx

@samilicious I'm so sorry. I had the exact same thing happen to me in June last year with a FRER and it's so gutting. I hope you're looking after yourself today 🩷

I went out with my friends in the end on Saturday and I'll be honest guys, I'm still hungover 😂. I haven't had a proper night out for such a long time and I'm actually so glad I went. It was such a laugh and I think it's helped remind me I still have a lot of good in my life.