2023 TTC 35+ Part 6

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread as the other one ran out of space

Sending all the luck your way @FigandHoney

Hi everyone... Lots going on for us all at the moment isn't there. Sending hugs and love to all who need it!

Nice to see you back @Bumblebee413 and thanks for checking in. I agree that it sounds like one of those husband 'gargh I can't fix this one' moments.. maybe it was his weird way of taking the pressure off..reassuring you it will be ok whatever happens.. . who knows, but there's deffo still plenty of time for number 2 to come along naturally.

I think my bleeding has just about stopped. Another two weeks until I officially test, although may do one a bit sooner just to see what is happening. I'm in two minds about opks... I think I might just to keep an idea of my cycles.. but still feel we should probs hold off trying again until my appointment with the fertility consultant comes through. At the very least, it would probably be good to have one proper period before we try again as I've had a CP bleed and then a MC bleed in a row with no proper normal cycles in-between. Not quite sure where my head is at. Some days I'm weirdly blasè about it all and then others the slightest thing will set me off crying. All very normal I guess. Really never imagined I'd be in this position of 3 losses in a row. It's been a tough year. I know we shouldn't wish time away but I'm quite looking forward to 2024 and hopefully putting all this behind us.

@worldwidetravel2017 hope they don't keep you waiting for your scan result too much longer. 💕

Hi @Bumblebee413 glad to see you back!! I hope now that hubby is going to be back, you guys give this a fair shot. And I wish you all the best and hope with him at home you're less stressed about the process and good things are ahead.

@JustTrying1 hope to still see you around. What a mature and sensible conversation to have with your partner. I am glad you're on the same page so whatever happens doesn't feel one sided. And you never know....

@SnookyPook thank you for your update. I came to specifically see how you're doing. I'm glad bleeding is almost done. I hope you're doing ok. I'm sure some days you're ok and some days you're not but I hope you are trying to stay positive and treating this as a new start. You've had so much going on, I hope when you try again, it's an easier time for you.

I feel like I've been surviving each day with some strong will and magic. I have never felt this horrible in my life even with my son. Work has been so stressful, my little man has been extra needy and all I want is to find a corner where I can hide lol my scan is on Wednesday.... So I'm trying not to stress too much. I'm out of progesterone too so I hope this will ease these terrible symptoms. We booked a 10 day trip to mexico end of the month and I pray I don't feel this horrible on vacation. Some days I feel like it's my body's way of telling me I'm too old to be pregnant

@FigandHoney she said there in the site a embyro would inplant and e mailed the images and report to the fertility clinic and my dr for further investigations.

Oh @VixFromThe6ix I really hope things ease for you soon, especially in time for Mexico, which sounds wonderful.

I absolutely think you’re all right with him wanting to ‘fix’ things. I think I probably took it that way slightly too with my lack of bothering to talk it through at the time.

@SnookyPook you’ve got it so right- I imagine it is completely normal to be feeling all the feelings at the moment. Hats off to the way you’ve handled all of this, you’re amazing x

@Khanga27 I’m so sorry you’re having such a rubbish few weeks. Hopefully the lighter periods are just temporary whilst everything adjusts x

I hope it is too. My anxiety sent me down a rabbithole of whether it was ashermans but i don't think it's as light as that as I have needed pads/tampons. But I have always had very heavy periods which I know doesn't sound great but i was used to it. Just don't feel I know my body anymore, and I'm just waiting for the next thing to go wrong

@Khanga27 I can so relate on not knowing your body like you thought you did. I feel like DTD made me so self aware about every feeling or symptom that I never seemed to have noticed in the past. Or my cycles would go from heavy to light, and I only noticed when DTD, but I'm sure they have always done this. CM was another one I never even took notice of till I joined MN and seen so many posts of women talking about and actually like predicting their ovulation status. My mind was blown lol
I read what you've gone through and it sounds tough. I'm sorry you're in this headspace expecting something to go wrong. It's so tough to stay positive sometimes in this journey. But we must.... Another cycle is around the corner and gotta look at it as another chance.
Big hugs. Hope you do something for yourself that makes you feel better.

@Khanga27 I SO relate to that. I think part of what I need to get back on top of is some complicated feelings about my body. I'm proud of it, and I know that if these haven't been viable pregnancies then it has absolutely done the 'right' thing in miscarrying. But there is also anger and frustration and fear of why it's not just making me a baby that will stick. Sending you a hug. X

Just catching up on here after a few days off to chill and drink coffee and wine whilst AF here.

@Bumblebee413 welcome back!
think you should keep trying for a bit (8 months isn’t that long in the whole scheme of things) and kick adoption down the road for a discussion another time. Late night life changing discussions are always a bad idea when you’re tired and your husband was probably worried about IVF finances and jumping to conclusions. I think it will happen for you, it may just take a little bit more time. Hopefully your GP can give you some better understanding of things too.

@CurlyWurly1991@worldwidetravel2017 , sorry to hear AF also came.

@Khanga27 in some ways it is good news that AF is here after your MC- it means your body is regulating itself and getting back to normal. However if you’re feeling it’s different/painful a GP referral or even a private ultrasound could put your mind to rest and hopefully resolve the pain for you. Sorry that you’re going through that.

@VixFromThe6ix Good luck with your scan on Wednesday. I’m sorry you’ve having such a tough time and hope you are ok. Enjoy all the cuddles/neediness from your little one. He probably senses you need some extra love.

@SnookyPook i think you’ve been incredibly brave over the past month. An inspiration to us all.

Sending you all hugs.

@Cressie2 hey
Knew af would be there - as missed window this month ( purposely) as had to havr an important ct scan and couldnt be pregnant for it

Should be trying as soon as period ends

Not got ct scan result yet though

Enjoy the wine etc

Nice to have you back @Cressie2 . Hope you enjoyed the wine and coffee. And hopefully it will have been the last time and you get a BFP this cycle.

Nice to hear from you again @VixFromThe6ix . Sorry you aren't feeling well. From TTC throughout pregnancy to birth, it's a tough journey. Thankfully there is such a beautiful reward at the end of it all.

@Khanga27 I agree with all that has been said. Since the birth of my son I had really heavy periods that would just hot me in the middle of the night. And since ttc I feel like they have changed with a lot of spotting on either side. I can't remember this being the case since last time we were ttc. But maybe I am just more hyperspace and only noticed tge heavy periods.
It's difficult not to worry, especially when it doesn't happen immediately. Through most of our life we are made to believe everyone gets pregnant the minute they don't use contraceptives. It can happen but it's not the norme.
But with that brainwashing in the back of our mind, it's just natural to think if it doesn't happen that way then smthg must be wrong with us. When in most cases it isn't.
Then add to that that during ttc you are logging at least mentally every twinge in your body.
And then there is the fact that if something is wrong then St least there is a clear answer and perhaps solution to why it's not happening in that very moment.
It all messes with your mind.
Be kind to yourself. And if you are very worried and it's causing you anxiety, see if you can speak yo your GP. Hopefully that will give you some reassurance

My body keeps confusing me this cycle. My bbt went up a fair bit today. Rhr and breathing rate remain stable. So ava has confirmed there is a biphasic pattern indicating ovulation. And FF also confirms it just on a date that seems impossible with when I had my positive opk.
My opks on the other hand yesterday got a bit darker. But have remained at the same level today. Around 0.3 according to premom.
I have read that opks can darken just before your period. I just don't know in what time frame.
They can also pick up on HCG. So obviously my boobs being sore plus that fact makes me go into a spiral of hope.
But this always happens as I near AF. And we all know how it always ends. With disappointment.
So I am trying really hard not to get ahead of myself.
Mental health wise I am struggling with a fair bit of anxiety at the moment and really just want to curl up in bed and shut the world out. But I keep pushing through.

Sorry @SnookyPook I meant to say I am so incredibly impressed by your attitude. Seeing the positive in your situation and not blaming your body, but showing it love.
What you are saying is so true ut it must be very difficult to take such a mature positive stance to it.
I really really hope you get your sticky bean very very soon

@FigandHoney thank you.. but there are plenty of darker moments in and among. I am very much a 'look for the silver lining' person though on the whole, as the truth is, however I choose to look at all the crap this year, it's still happened and I can't change that. I can only change how I react to it. So I do try to look for the positives and focus on moving forward as much as possible. But like I say, there are definitely moments when that just isn't possible and I have to sit in my cloud for a while.

@VixFromThe6ix sorry to hear that you've been struggling. I hope all goes well with the scan tomorrow and then hopefully you can coast along to your wonderful holiday at the end of the month! A bit of time to relax and enjoy some sunshine will be just what the doctor ordered. ❤️

@FigandHoney I have gp appointment today. I think my head is a mess. We did actually fall pregnant the first month of trying but was the MMC, and just since the medical and then surgical management for that my body just feels so different. So it could just be from TTC but I have nothing to compare to due to know if it's from TTC or from the MMC and some sort of complication that's made me infertile or something. My counselling starts end of month which may help me process things I hope x

@VixFromThe6ix I hope everything goes well at the ultrasound today!

Sorry @Khanga27 I sometimes get all the stories on here mixed up. How did your GP appointment go yesterday?

My bbt popped up a bit higher today, as did my rhr.
My opks are getting increasingly darker. But with the higher temps I just don't think it's ovulation anymore.
This is the stage of my cycle where I always get my hopes up before they all come crashing down.
Nipples are still Tender. But I have no cramping so far

@FigandHoney show us your temp chart!! Hope what you are feeling is a good sign 🤞

@CurlyWurly1991 I have attached my temp chart. Also my premom app around when I think I ovulated and then now when they are increasing again.
My bbt is always highest around this point. I should know by 10dpo as at that point my stats usually start to drop and I start spotting.
Currently wavering between hoping I am pregnant and telling myself not to get my hopes up because they are most likely to get shattered this weekend.

@FigandHoney wish you the very best xx it’s impossible to know at this stage. I feel ‘pregnant’ every cycle and am disappointed every time. I hope you get your BFP!!

Thanks @CurlyWurly1991 . Yeah i know. Can't tell until AF comes, she doesn't or you test positive. Just got to wait.
It's not even that we have been trying long this time. But I am dreading for it to take as long as it did last time

Well. I just did an opk test this evening and it is clearly positive. But with my rise in temperatures surely I can't be ovulating?
I don't know if I should do an HCG test tomorrow morning just in case. With my son I didn't get a BFP until 4 days after AF was due. And this cycle AF shouldn't arrive before the weekend or even Monday.
Also my parents are coming yo visit us on Saturday.

@VixFromThe6ix I hope your ultrasound went well?

@FigandHoney I really hope your symptoms are pregnancy 🤞🏻❤️Nice that your parents are with you this weekend to keep you busy whilst you wait it out.

@VixFromThe6ix I hope today went well? And @Khanga27 your GP appointment? @worldwidetravel2017 any CT results yet? Thinking of you all.