Anyone trying for a 3rd child?

[AnaReis]

We've started 3 cycles ago trying for our 3rd. I'm going to be 41 soon and both me and DH feel exactly the same about this, feels like going for a 3rd is a bit insane, with all the challenges in logistics, but at the same time it feels like we both really want it ❤️ We're sort of going for a leap of faith... is anyone in the same boat?

Also just to add, my husband is not completely on board so I could really do with the moral support, please and thanks x

@Sailaway99 good luck with TTC! I'm so sorry your husband isn't on board... I had a conversation with my husband several weeks ago and he didn't say he was on board or not, it was an inconclusive conversation 😅But I just decided that he was on board as he didn't blatantly say he was against it so... TTC we are 😁The poor chap knows he doesn't stand much of a chance when I get broody... And he's very easy to convince to DTD lol 🤭

@Sailaway99 has he said he isn’t on board but you’re still trying?! Is he just accepting that it will probably happen?

My DH has said since DC2 was born that we were done, but has recently agreed to try for DC3. He’s not a fan of the toddler stage and the relentlessness of it, whereas I am seeing the bigger picture of life on the other side of that! He’s come to accept this as DC1 is more mature and more and more fun, and DC2 is a much easier toddler than DC1 was (though hasn’t yet had a new sibling to contend with!).

This time round I haven’t really involved him in the details of tracking my cycle, told him when I’m ovulating etc as I don’t want it to feel pressured. Ideally ttc will be enjoyable since it’s our last go at it!!

When we first started trying for DC1 I always said I wanted 3 and he agreed. However, recently cost of living crisis etc have put him off but I've made it clear it hasn't put me off. So he knows it's on the cards, just doesn't know I'm tacking cycles etc ... I dunno maybe u think I'm bad but I had a MMC before DC1 and a twin pregnancy that only gave me DC2, so for me there is a missing seat at my table and my heart, if that makes sense

DH hates the newborn stage and sleepless toddler nights, but like PP said I can also see the bugger picture of a bigger family life

So has he agreed to it @Sailaway99? obviously if he’s not taking any precautions himself then he can hardly complain if you do fall pregnant.

@Sailaway99 I think it's a tough one jf he's not fully on board but then like @Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow if he's not taking precautions himself then his doubts can't be that warranted.

I always said I wanted 3, DH said 2 then we had all the MCs and I got pregnant with DC2 and said I couldn't face possibly going through all the same next time but DH then said it made him realise what's important and he would have 3. He thinks we're NTNP though 🤭 although he did say he was having doubts on holiday because the toddler was super hard work so it changes regularly 😅

This is exactly it. He knows I'm desperate for a 3rd and happy to DTD so I'm pretty sure he is actually on board with it otherwise he wouldn't be participating or otherwise would insist on protection.

@Sailaway99 i’m sorry to hear about your losses, I totally understand why you may feel that way. I have been trying to persuade my husband for over a year, I was never on any birth control, but we decided to try and avoid it and if it happens, it happens… Which it never did! He has only just come around to the idea of having another, but also changes his mind frequently for the same reasons as your husband, it’s all financial to be honest. If we had untold money, we would have six 😏 I do think it’s a really good idea to have a chat with him, though, as a friend of mine did a similar thing to what you are planning to do and her husband has really resented her for doing this… I know that he’s not using protection, but maybe have a little conversation. I hope that helps. X

I think I’d agree with @Rightnow1245 on this one @Sailaway99. He must know on a subconscious level but much better to have it in the open for lots of reasons.

It’s taken a year for my DH to get on board with it and the age gaps etc are now not what I would have wanted. He also frustratingly didn’t really think through that the earliest a baby would arrive would be 9 months from when he agreed so was kind of shocked when I said last month that our DC2 would likely be 4 or almost 4 by the time the baby arrived 🤦‍♀️. So I fully understand the frustration! I’m the breadwinner in our marriage (earn 8x what DH does), do more of the childcare and am also obviously the one who would carry and give birth to the baby so at times I felt like saying it shouldn’t be up to him! But I think every baby deserves to be wanted by both parents.

@Sailaway99 I'm so sorry for all your losses and it's completely understandable that you feel sort of incomplete ❤
I was in a similar situation before my conversation with my OH, but he has said that he'd be incredibly happy if we had another little one. Before we were even TTC he said that sometimes he thinks that it would be good to have another one and some cycles ago I had a very weird cycle where I really thought I was pregnant and then had a very strange period (with massive clots and so much flow I had lots of leaks and changed bloody clothes 3 or 4 times... I think I might have had a missed miscarriage) and he said that if I were to be pregnant he'd be very happy ❤
Only you know your husband and can talk with him and understand how he feels about it, but it would be better to know you're both on the same page. Let him know how important this is for you, how you feel incomplete and miss another child in your life.

I hope everyone is good, either in the beginning of a new cycle, new possibilities, or in the fertile phase and getting your game on (lol) or like me in the TWW! I'm on CD21 and on 6DPO... I have a meh feeling about this cycle, but maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping as much as I should and I'm tired. Oh well...

Thanks so much for everyone's replies. I absolutely hear you all on thr need for me and him to be on the same page. I'll have a honest talk with him, again. I do feel the last time I mentioned it I thought he was thawing out to the idea a bit more. But we shall see. I guess atm he thinks we're in the NTNP camp. But clearly I'm tracking cycles now and testing for ovulation.
Really interesting to hear where everyone else is in their cycles and feeling for anyone on the TWW.

So I feel awful 😭😭

My husband was supposed to go on a work trip to India in October, it's been planned since January. Today he calls the GP to arrange vaccines and the GP causally said "your wife isn't pregnant or are you planning to conceive?" And he was like ah, yes, we are TTC.

India has Zika and he absolutely won't risk it, and I adore him for it, but I feel so bad. He was so looking forward to the trip. He straight away called his boss, told him our plans and said it's not worth the risk and to cancel it.

I best be frickin pregnant 😡

P.s sorry for grumbling - how is everyone?

@HopefullMumto4 that's a really tough one. We took extra precautions in an aim not to conceive after our wedding as we honeymooned in a country with Zika and then for 3 months after. It's definitely the right thing though and completely unavoidable. Is there any chance he can still go if you conceive before October? Saying that you really could do without the pressure of a deadline! Don't apologise for grumbling about it, it's really crappy and unfortunate for you both.

4dpo here, CD26. Will wait for AF to be overdue to test though I think. Nothing else going on symptom wise

I remember when we were about to start trying for DC1 but had booked a holiday to Mexico we had to postpone TTC until 3 months after we got back from there. Sorry to hear this, life always seems to throw spanners in the works doesn't it. Never a right time for anything it seems.

@HopefullMumto4 I'm sorry, that's such unfortunate timing! 😣

I'm doing fine. CD3 here so nothing really happening. I did start tracking BBT this morning so at least that makes me feel like I'm doing something positive/productive. Hugs to those of you in the tww, keeping everything crossed for some BFPs in this group soon 🙏🙏

Thanks all! I just feel bad for him, he was so excited but there's zero chance he will risk it. He has contamination OCD so he struggles at the best of times, let alone when there's a real and serious contaminant to worry about. Zika hadn't even crossed either of our minds! Thank goodness the GP was on the ball.

But... I think I got a positive earlier on after my rant 😬 I'm trying to hold my wee so I can decide if I want to do a digital tonight or wait until morning.

That’s so frustrating and annoying for you @HopefullMumto4 will he still go if you get a BFP soon?

@AnaReis also was feeling a little meh about the whole being pregnant this month but me and DH have just driven to a friends house a hour away and he was driving I felt so sick, this is not like me at all! Either baby or dodgy driver 😂
I’m 7dpo today so far to early to test I think

@MacNut I genuinely find BBT and OPKs help keep my mind busy!

@HappyValleyFan1 how long is your LP? when will AF be due?

@Sailaway99 where are you in your cycle again? Did you decide to TTC in time to try this month or do you have to wait for next?

@Rightnow1245 and no, he wouldn't 😭 he can still pass on the virus even when pregnant already - I think it's most dangerous in first tri! Plus it stays in your body for months and months

@Rightnow1245 I started testing at 7dpo because I felt nauseas! That could definitely be a good thing

@HopefullMumto4 excitedly waiting here for you to pee again 😂🙏🙏

I pee'd did a one step and decided it wasn't worth the risk of wasting a digital 😂😂 Will try again in the morning

Here are the FRER and one step from earlier. Still not 100% convinced because of all the evaps lately!