Anyone trying for a 3rd child?

[AnaReis]

We've started 3 cycles ago trying for our 3rd. I'm going to be 41 soon and both me and DH feel exactly the same about this, feels like going for a 3rd is a bit insane, with all the challenges in logistics, but at the same time it feels like we both really want it ❤️ We're sort of going for a leap of faith... is anyone in the same boat?

I asked this a few days ago 🤣 I got three this cycle!

Thanks all 😊 still in disbelief!

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow yes still bf my second frequently! I conceived while bf last time too, and I've a friend who conceived her second before her period had even come back while bf so definitely possible.

@AnaReis DH wasn't that delighted because he had been hoping for far more DTD 🙈😅 he'll be happy when the baby gets here but he really doesn't engage with pregnancy at all! He has always wanted 3 so I'm sure it's good news. Won't be telling the kids any time soon as the 1yo won't understand and the 3yo will just tell everyone so will just tell him when I'm showing!

@Clettercletterthatsbetter I'm so sorry you're still getting BFN :( Still no signs of AF?

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow the only way I can tell is 1 or 2 days after ovulation my EWCM disappears completely and most of the cycles my boobs get sore. With the temp you have to be taking your temps before so you see the dip and peak I guess 🤔

@Decafflatteplease welcome! It's good to know it's possible to survive having 4 kids 😅I'm going to be 41 in October, so I think it's too late for me to go to the 4th... unless I have twins... which I'd rather not have 😱1 baby is hard enough! 😅
@MacNut good luck!! Stay strong... or don't and POAS and go crazy trying to squint to see a line like I do 😂

@AFeastForCrows welcome! I'm so sorry you've been trying without success yet! Good luck for this month! 🍀 have you been using any OPK/taking your BBT or seen the method (I didn't know about until yesterday lol) https://spermmeetseggplan.com/ ?

@GinAndBearIt90 Oh kids!! 😅🤦🏻‍♀️ my daughter was quite good at keeping secrets at 3yo so we told her at the time, but this cheeky little dude... I don't think he will keep the info to himself 😅

Well we DTD yesterday, I told my husband in the afternoon that he had a meeting scheduled in the bedroom after the kids bedtime and he did show up 😂I'm not sure if I ovulated or not, but my BBT keeps going down... although as I said, with mr 3yo waking me up 436362 times per night I'm not even sure if I'm going to get a decent graph. Anyway, I'm eventually going to start the TWW any day now... and will do my best to try and ignore it so that I don't get paranoid (and will probs fail! 😅).

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow brilliant, hope the prednisolone does the trick and great that your GP agreed to prescribe. I'm in 2 minds whether to go to my GP to see if they will prescribe the same as last time; progesterone and high dose folic acid alongside aspirin. I think I could get the progesterone but folic acid dose was on the 'red drug' list so GP couldn't prescribe and I presume my MC count is now back down to 0 in the eyes of the NHS so the recurrent MC clinic probably wouldn't be interested 😬

@AnaReis yeah I'm not sure bbt can be relied upon with a disturbed nights sleep. I had the same issue before when DC1 woke up at night for a long time and results were super erratic 🤦‍♀️

Those of you with older children, have you ever told your kids you are expecting? Mine were 1 and 2 when or pregnant so I didn't actually tell them! Next time I'll be able to actually tell them and they'll understand. When did you tell them? How did you tell them, like, what did you actually say?

I told my daughter the moment I found out lol basically showed her the test and said it means mommy has a baby growing in her tummy 😍

Aw @AnaReis that's adorable! My kids would tell everyone on the planet 🤣 The entire school would know before playtime.

They are also super impatient! I'm not sure I could take 250 odd days of "how many days until the baby gets here" 🤣

I remember us telling DD who had just turned 4 at the time. It seemed like a really big thing for us as she was so desperate for a sibling. We told her when we were on holiday when I was about 15 weeks, she had to be the first to know above anyone and we couldn't hold out any longer. It took a while to sink in but she was so excited about the baby in mummys tummy 🥹

Oooh CD20 and finally a high OPK 🥳

Sorry to always be a total whingebag on here but there’s only so much complaining I can do to DH before he refuses to TTC anymore.

WHY AM I NOT PREGNANT? We’ve never had issues conceiving before, we have sex at the right time, what is going on?

The monthly rollercoaster of anticipation and then stress and then hope and then waiting and then disappointment is really starting to wear me down. I don’t know how many more months of this I can take. There’s so much riding on this too - I need to make some fairly major decisions about work/finances and I can’t do that without knowing if we’re having another child. And every month the gap between our youngest and a potential new baby gets bigger and I don’t want to have a huge gap with the older ones all close in age and then the little one miles behind.

TTC was supposed to be exciting but it has now become this horrible cloud over my life. But I don’t want to stop because I really really want another child 😢

Sorry for the rant/brain dump/whinge fest.

Sorry @Clettercletterthatsbetter i know the feeling 😞. Sorry if you’ve said but how old are you and how old are your other kids? I feel exactly the same with age gaps and finances etc. Do you think it would help to set a deadline or would that just stress you out?

Re telling kids, if we have another I will probably aim to tell them after the 20 week scan - to make sure all is ok with the baby and so they have time to adjust but not too long to wait.

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow my children are nearly 8, nearly 6 and 3.5. So if it happened next month then they’d be 8.5, 6.5 and 4 (and a quarter!). I’m 37 and DH is 44 (would be at least 45 when a baby was born), and I know he isn’t keen to be much older when a baby is born. I think at some point we’ll have to set a deadline and accept that if it hasn’t happened by then, then it isn’t meant to be 😔

@Clettercletterthatsbetter oh don't ever be sorry for talking about your feelings! It's so important to talk about these things and not keep them bottled up.

Would a deadline help you or make you more stressed out as it gets closer?

@Clettercletterthatsbetter I get you. Anyone who said that TTC is fun has clearly never had a hard time of it. Even though this is only something like our 4th month this time, due to past experience TTC is just not fun. Easier said than done but how about taking a breather for a month with no OPKs, take some time for yourself and headspace away from TTC?

@Clettercletterthatsbetter it's so hard and frustrating 😔 Please feel free to vent here, we're all here for each other! If it helps at all, wrt the age gaps, I'm the youngest of 3 and youngest by 5 years. My sister (5 years older) and I are super close and have always had a brilliant relationship ❤️

I'm 10dpo today and still resisting testing but am considering doing one tomorrow morning as I'm supposed to be going out (will involve alcohol) so I feel like I should just test to be sure as obviously won't drink if I get a line. DP also keeps commenting how hot to touch I've been in bed the last couple of mornings so now I'm wondering if that's a sign 😅

Another example of gaps! The siblings in my family are 32, 28, 19 and 17 :) we all like each other very much.

I think those sound like lovely age gaps @Clettercletterthatsbetter. I do know how you feel though. I wanted a <4 year gap between dc2 and this baby, but also factoring in things like don’t really want the baby to be born in the summer etc which really puts the pressure on. I wanted to start ttc much earlier but DH wasn’t ready.

Im already feeling pessimistic about this month and worried I won’t ovulate…and this is only cycle 1!

I have the same pressure, I really didn't want another summer baby because being heavily pregnant in the summer and breastfeeding a new born is just sweaty uncomfortableness. Not to mention the stress of keeping a newborn out of the sun and then when they are older being the younger end of the school year. I wish we had started TTC again a few months back.

Totally get this. I feel like it’s taken over my life and this 6 month mark has hit me hard. I can feel myself being an absolute grump to DH and he then feels like it’s his fault because I know I can fall pregnant whereas he doesn’t have children. I sometimes think that stopping would be more beneficial than carrying on with this 🥲 sending you big hugs x

👋 also trying for 3rd!

I'm 37, still breastfeeding my 2nd and TTC. No periods yet..... but I'm hopeful this month. Should be testing this weekend 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Also just briefly seen some others struggling this time round......my first took 3 months TTC and my 2nd took 18 months. The game changer I believe, was the FERTI-LILY (I think it's called) cup.

Not sure if anyone's tried it! I'll know this cycle if it's worked again 😬

@WhatTheEll welcome! And tell me more about this cup magic, I'm intrigued! 🧐😂

Hello!

So it's basically a rubber type cup that you pop in straight after sex. You can wear it for up to an hour and walk about etc (no need to keep legs in the air!). It holds everything up there and in place. The first time I used it when TTC my 2nd, we fell that month. So I believe it works haha

@AFeastForCrows sending you hugs too - we’ve also just passed the 6 month mark and it’s not fun. Slightly different situation in that it’s same father (DH) for all but that almost makes it worse as I don’t understand why we aren’t conceiving when we’ve had no problems before. I’m sure it must be me as surely sperm doesn’t suddenly go ‘wrong’ in 4 years? DH had a semen analysis done this week so I guess soon we will know where the problem lies (me, I’m sure). Chased up my ultrasound today and they said the waiting list is 2-3 months. I’m considering going private to cut out the wait…

@WhatTheEll 2 ladies I know used the ferti-lilly on the group I was on when TTC#2. Both were waiting for ivf and it worked for one of them 🥳

@Clettercletterthatsbetter not sure where you are in the country but I used Care Fertility for my MC/fertility investigations before and found them excellent

I think I have my peak, at least I hope it is because I've run out of OPKs. Thought I'd brought enough on holiday grrrrr