Anyone trying for a 3rd child?

[AnaReis]

We've started 3 cycles ago trying for our 3rd. I'm going to be 41 soon and both me and DH feel exactly the same about this, feels like going for a 3rd is a bit insane, with all the challenges in logistics, but at the same time it feels like we both really want it ❤️ We're sort of going for a leap of faith... is anyone in the same boat?

@HappyValleyFan1 that definitely looks like a peak to me!

@WhatTheEll sounds great! I'm excited to see if it works for you again this time 🤞

@HappyValleyFan1 looks like a peak! Better get busy 😄

I'm 12dpo today and did a test this morning...BFN. Not even a squinter 🙄 I won't test again now unless AF is late (due Wednesday)

@MacNut argh, that's so frustrating! What test did you use?

Oh sorry @MacNut - it’s still very early days. Do you have any symptoms?

static smiley for me today (at last) but really don’t have as much EWCM as Ive had in the past. Has anyone ever conceived without much? Wondering whether I should try buy some of that lube stuff later…

I never any any really unless I take EPO but we do also use the pre-seed lube as well.

@HopefullMumto4 it was a FRER. I got a BFN with DD2 at 12 DPO then BFP at 14 DPO so I'm not out yet 😬

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow I have been very hot in bed (might just be the change in weather but I've been a lot warmer than DP). And I'm sure I felt cramping last night (but had also been out for a curry so might just have been that 😅). This is only cycle 3 TTC so I'm trying to not get too bogged down (it's very hard not to in the TWW!). Told DP this morning that we'll do SMEP next cycle if we still don't get a BFP. He was very pleased with that suggestion 😂

Just joining in with the chat here because a) I completely get the mixed feelings about a third, on the one hand I would absolutely love having a baby again, but also am slightly terrified of the practicalities! I also am part of the frustrated long term TTC gang - just coming to the end of my 19th or 20th cycle without a sniff of anything. As this all followed a surprise pregnancy and early miscarriage last year, I think I kinda hoped that despite my advanced age (41 now 😭) it might be a bit easier than TTCing my first and second. PAH!

@Clettercletterthatsbetter oh please do rant away! <3 It's better than keeping everything bottled up... Having a good cry also helps! No need to be sorry!

Yeah TTC can be an outright nightmare of stress and disappointment :/ Unfortunately it's not possible to control when we get pregnant and your kids will love each other no matter their gap. This usually helps me deal with stuff that is happening that I don't like but can't control: what's the worse that can happen if they get a bigger gap? (makes me sort of feel in control of something lol)

Maybe try the cup @WhatTheEll mentioned https://www.fertilily.com/en/ (just googled it and looks interesting! Thanks for sharing! <3) it's not too pricey and they also sell a lubricant which helps with sperm motility. I will go down that route (and all routes) if this takes too long as I'm not getting younger!!

If you can, especially if you have private insurance, do get a private ultrasound just in case. It's worth it just to make things a bit quicker.

Maybe taking a break for 2 or 3 cycles like @HappyValleyFan1 might also help relax and clear your mind a bit? It might not get the stress away from the work/financial decisions you need to make though.

@MacNut did you test? Is it BFN meaning "yay, can have drinks tonight!! 💃🏻🍹" or BFP "yay! I'm pregnant! 🤰🏻"? I say this because last cycle my period cam during a summer festival, which was annoying (and boo!! no baby!!!) but on the other hand it was "yay! can have alcohol!" lol

@HopefullMumto4 oh I've never had summer babies, never considered that! Yah having a newborn in the summer must be really unpleasant!... My 2 are an autumn baby and a winter baby... Although I did find it tricky to go out with a tiny baby during winter with my 1st :/ With my 2nd it was covid so I couldn't go out anyway 🙄

@AFeastForCrows has he done any testing? Might be worth doing it? (it's easier for men to get tested 😅)

@WhatTheEll Welcome! 😊 how old is your 2nd? I'm also BF my 2nd (he's 3.5). Good luck! 🍀 @GinAndBearIt90 is also BF her 15mo old and just got a BFP!! 😊I got pregnant with my 2nd while BF too and she breastfed throughout the whole pregnancy and then in tandem 😅Let us know if the magical cup works for you again, you might have to get us a referral link so that we all buy one and refer you! 😅

@HappyValleyFan1 those last OPK look pretty dark to me. I'm no expert because I don't use them, but they do look good! It's DTD time! 😅

@MacNut you're not out until AF shows up! With my youngest I only got a positive at 13 DPO, but I was doing ICT. When I thought I was seeing a really almost invisible faint line I tested with a FRER and got a faint line lol. Our partners must be really happy with all this activity! Might make them forget if they were ever reluctant to go for a 3rd 😂

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow yay! What CD are you on now? I think this month I only noticed 2 days of EWCM.... I think its due to my age 🤷🏻 I might have to buy some specific lube too....

@curliegirlie Welcome! 😊I know, it's scary isn't it? I feel exactly the same!!!.... I love our current car and just the though of having to sell it to get a bigger car makes me sad!.... and I worry about all the costs and everything... but on the other hand I just hope we manage somehow lol maybe I'm delusional 🤷🏻 I'm so sorry about your MC 😔it's so painful, especially when it's taken such a long time to even get a BFP.... I'm also going to be 41 in October and fear my fertility might have been affected somehow. How old are your kiddos?

@AnaReis Thanks! 🤗

1st is 6.5 with rare genetic chromosome disorder, 2nd is 11 months.....so I'm jumping right back on! 🤣 Gap would have ideally been closer between 1st and 2nd but as indicated above, we had A LOT going on with his condition.

Talking of the cup....it didn't seem to bode me well this time (although we only DTD twice!) because I think AF has arrived 🙃
First one PP so I'm quite relieved actually!

Wishing you all the best of luck!!! ♥️

@AnaReis DD1 turns 8 this month and DD2 is 5.

@WhatTheEll DD1 has Down's syndrome and can also be challenging at times (particularly on the walk back from school) so I do kind of wonder how I'll manage with a sling or buggy without growing an extra arm to keep hold of the frequently running off one! But also kind of hope that in a year DD1 will have improved at walking nicely with me 🤞

8dpo here. I did a fairly pointless IC this morning (BFN of course). I don't have much hope really...it's just been too long and I'm gearing up to give up the entire thing and finally get round to getting rid of the small clothes in the loft 😭😢

I'm on CD 16 and my chart is looking like something close to a BBT lol at least it seems to be consistent with my observations of EWFM. Let's see what happens... TWW insanity train, all aboard!!... 😬

Booo AF!!!

I always take forever to get my period back!... First was 33 months and second time round it was 28 months 😵‍💫

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow I've conceived without much ewcm before. I've also had a glass a day of grapefruit juice on the past as that really increases it @HopefullMumto4

@AnaReis think we're covered with the peak as DTD last night and the night before. That was me with the alcohol last month as going on holiday would have been quite dull without 😅 chart looks good!

I have no idea if this is a possible pregnancy sign or if I'm just knackered and old but I am cramping so much, I'm exhausted and feel so nauseous like I've had a proper binge. I'm only 5dpo so I suspect the former.

With all three (well, four) of my previous pregnancies i didn't have any symptoms other than bloating early on 😬

My 1st symptom with both was feeling incredibly sleepy, but much more noticeable with my second. I had no clue that I was pregnant and just felt like no matter how much I slept I was always sleepy! With my second I also had 1 day of spotting and then no period. It all made sense when I made the test 😅 I also get really bloated and after my 1st I looked obviously pregnant at 7w 😅 my real symptoms start at 6 weeks with horrid nausea and random vomiting 🤦🏻‍♀️... why do I want to get pregnant again? 😅

So I finally got peak OPK on Saturday and DH and I dtd that night. We should also have dtd last night but had an argument instead 😭.

I had high hopes for this cycle but we only dtd twice in fw. I’m so annoyed with us both! Does anyone know whether there’s any point in us dtd tonight or have we missed it?

I really want to join this chat... really interesting to hear all of your experiences.

We had our second baby in June. And I am now 39.

We do really want a third to complete our family. But I worry that because of my age we would have to get going pretty quickly. Probs while still on mat leave.

My periods came back very quick last time (approx 6-weeks post partum) so I could be fertile again any day! And our second baby was a one hit wonder 😎 Quite a surprise after nearly two years of TTC for our first.

But with a nearly 3yo and a 2month old, we could well end up with three under four. And I wonder if this would stretch us too much and too thin. And cause us not to be great parents to our eldest.

Maybe I am just in the honeymoon post partum period and loving life with a newborn with rose tinted glasses! Ha ha!

Welcome @KittieKath! and congrats on your new little one!

I definitely felt mega broody immediately after both DCs were born - I think that’s a very normal hormonal reaction!

In my case I didn’t get my periods back until 13 months both times (I breastfed both to 18 months) and for career reasons wouldn’t have wanted such a small gap, plus DH wasn’t on board with a DC3 until recently. I can see though that you might absolutely want to crack on given your age so it’s a tricky one!

Since you have literally just given birth though I don’t think you need to worry about your fertility with any massive urgency, so it might be worth giving it at least 6 months? Every month you can wait would likely make a positive difference for you and your kids in the early days.

I'm really clueless about OPK 🤦🏻‍♀️

DTD twice isn't bad though! We conceived our second with DTD twice and that was it.

Welcome @KittieKath!

I'm feeling quite crampy today so think AF is on her way. Turning my focus to what I'll do next cycle...considering doing BBT again as I am a geek & love the data 🤓 Thinking of something new to try stops me getting too bogged down in the disappointment 😬

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Welcome!! 😊 Congrats on the new baby! 😍 👶

I was still pregnant with my 1st and was already talking to the bump about having a sibling 😅 then when she was born it was such hard work that I ended up waiting for 3y before thinking of getting pregnant again. This 2nd time around I didn't think about it either until my youngest was 2,5/3y. Something happens when they turn 3 I start getting broody again 😅 also my period returned when my eldest was 33 months and then when my youngest was 28 months (I breastfeed them until they naturally wean, still breastfeeding my 3,5 yo 😅), so my body made me wait anyway.
We home educate, so it's a bit more challenging, but I'd personally want to wait until my youngest was at least 2y to try again, just because I think I'd lose my sanity if the gap was smaller... In theory, as I've never experienced it, maybe it's not as hard as I think 😅🤷🏻‍♀️ people who have twins survive so... 😅😅 But I'd rather have a bit more spacing between kids. It all boils down to this: you're the only one who knows your family dynamic and who can evaluate which spacing is ideal, baring in mind that one never knows how long it will take to get pregnant or how the personality of the new bub will be ❤️
Regarding your age, I completely understand how you feel. I'm going to be 41 and I'm TTC our 3rd and it gets me thinking about my age of course, but to be fair there's lots of women who get pregnant well into their 40s, it has more to do with your general health (you can also take a blood test to check your ovarian reserve), you just need to decide if its something you feel comfortable with or not.

That's a good way to see things!! 😊 I'm keeping with the BBT, even with my youngest waking me up through the night the chart seems to be consistent with my symptoms. We've been DTD loads, even after my fertile window lool let's see if it helps 😅at least it's fun!

I'm still going through moments of "omg, what on earth am I doing?!?!?!?" (especially when someone mentioned something about a slightly difficult birth the other day) and moments of "yes, I want this so bad!!!"... I feel a bit crazy lol

My kiddos on the other hand are already talking "when mummy has a baby in her tummy...", "oh when we travel by car where will the baby sit?", etc lol :x it's as if I'm pregnant already!.....

@AnaReis have you told your kids you are ttc?

Ive asked mine a couple of times how they’d feel about another sibling but I haven’t said we are ttc. We’ve kind of set ourselves a deadline and if it doesn’t happen will stop (though I can totally see myself going back on that).

So I’m cd18 today - I think 1 or 2 dpo - and weirdly had EWCM today…is this even possible?

We told them that we might have another baby, but we don't know if it will happen. They just assumed we were having another baby 😅 and now are incredibly happy about it 🤷🏻‍♀️
I'm not sure, if you're still seeing EWFM could it be that you're ovulating again? 🤔 Usually after ovulating there's no EWFM... But if you see it, so elastic and shiny then it might be worth DTD just jn case 😅