Really want another child but im 42. Am I too old?

[Pjsandpringles]

I currently have 2 children. Myself and my partner really want another. I don't know if I'm kidding myself because I'm 42. I am very aware that at my age it will be much harder to conceive and there is obviously risks involved.

Am we being totally stupid?

My DHs aunt had her first at 42 then went on to have two more. Everything was fine and she is still around now, hale and healthy in her 80s and now a grandmother.

If you want another OP go for it. It's up to you and your DH.

@BunchHarman so your picking up on a comment someone else made and I was trying to explain? I certainly wouldn't say to him im giving him a child or even gifting him one. It's something we both want. I can't do it without him and he can't do it without me

My mum had me at 42 and my younger brother at 44 (plus my older siblings when she was in her late-30s).
I'm now 50, and both my parents are in their 90s and healthy (drive, live alone, etc). I also had children in my 40s. It's normal to me, since it's what I've grown up with.

I read it and commented on it. That’s all. You took umbrage and questioned my comment, so I just showed you the comment of yours that I’d read (I did a see-all). And I don’t think you can ‘gift’ a human life.

It's up to her tho. And plenty have babies in their 40's and are healthy.

I'm 42 and have 2 kids already. I'm never having another. My reasons are:
Horrendous birth with DS1
Awful pregnancy with DS2
Cost of childcare/bigger house/bigger car
My career and body are already fucked, don't want further damage
Risk of autism (DS1 is autistic)
Risk of complications (see awful pregnancy)
I'm too selfish and tired to go back to the baby stage TBH
Family history of twins

Don’t do it. Think of peri meno and meno! Don’t make your life harder than it needs to be. Wait for grandkids.

I'm now 50, and both my parents are in their 90s and healthy (drive, live alone, etc).

You are lucky. That's not the norm unfortunately given the average life expectancy.

Actually menopause is a good point. I'm early 50s and really struggling with it. Thankfully my kids are both young adults and independent.

Plenty do. But the risks are higher. And of course it’s up to her, you don’t need to state the obvious.

😬

🙄*

I think there’s no right or wrong answer as everyone makes their decisions based on their circumstances and how they feel.
Someone feels old at 37, someone feels better than ever at 43. The same with the look. Someone at 37 might look like 43 and the lady at 43 might look like 37.

The higher risks of miscarriage or birth defects and other difficulties facing older mums has nothing to do with you they feel or look

No but it helps if you still feel young and fit

How? How exactly will feeling young and fit help if a women experiences a miscarriage or gives birth to a baby with a birth defect? Do tell

Another vote to say you're not too old OP. I would for it How old is your DP out of interest?

I would go for it*

No but it helps if you still feel young and fit

No, the higher risk of miscarriage or birth defects are due to biological factors within your ovaries and the man's sperm. Not helped by feeling or looking young and fit.

You can have a miscarriage at any age. It's the risk. I've had 4 but won't stop me trying for my second. It's the luck of the draw so I think if she wants to try I say go for it. But when I said it helps to be young and fit I meant raising a baby that aspect

I didn't mean miscarriage. I meant in raising a child. That it would help that aspect.

I was saying there’s no wrong or right answer as everyone looks through their “angle” of life and experience. Everyone sees the same thing differently. For someone statistics is important, for someone to have chance to be a mum..

I'm the same age as you op. Do you know anyone with a toddler you can visit/babysit?

My best friend had a baby 18 months ago and I spent the first year feeling broody and wanting another. Now her baby can walk and when I looked after her for friend the other day I remembered how hard it is having a toddler and how I couldn't manage it now.

The night feeds, the babyproofing everything, the cost of childcare if you work

I also forgot how much you have to concentrate all the time to keep the tiny human safe. I was exhausted after a day I can't imagine doing that day in day out at my age 😂

Will you get over yourself!? You seem really miserable, there are higher risks of birth defects for women who have smoked, are overweight, are using IVF, shall we stop all those people having children?! She’s much more likely to have a healthy baby than one that isn’t, it’s only slight elevated risks.

Yeah she seems miserable. You get them on every thread unfortunately