Really want another child but im 42. Am I too old?

[Pjsandpringles]

I currently have 2 children. Myself and my partner really want another. I don't know if I'm kidding myself because I'm 42. I am very aware that at my age it will be much harder to conceive and there is obviously risks involved.

Am we being totally stupid?

Its not being selfish at all. Jesus some people

@Felix01 they are probably as excited as we are. We have spoken to them about it

@Emmamoo89 it is.Kids can be cruel a 52 year old at the school gates isn't fair on the child never mind the health risks to a baby with an older mother/father

Isn’t fair in the child??? Oh come off it! As long as a child is loved and cared for I’m sure they won’t care about their parents age - and I say this as I was born to older parents! And people have health issues of all ages!!!

@Moonriver79 sorry its just my opinion.Yes of course the child would be loved but there's the bigger picture to look at

What a lame excuse and a load of bollocks

I do think children of significantly older parents are aware of this and may be slightly embarrassed about it. There's also the inevitable fact that these children are less likely to have their parents as far into adulthood as those of younger parents, assuming an average life span of 85 years.

@Emmamoo89 you think health reasons are a lame excuse? Wow

That's not how I meant it. You don't know for certain that they'd be health risks.

If you have no known health reasons and are healthy. I'd say fuck what anyone else thinks and go for it

Only you can answer this OP. Physically, you may or may not be. You won't know that until you try.
But, what do you want, what do you feel? Do you feel you're too old? Maybe you need to ask the question in a different way, such as what challenges might I face being an older mother, and see if that gives you your answer.

At the end of the day, if you want it, give it a go. But don't dither!

Wtf 😅 it’s more common for women to have children aged 35-39 now that it is 20-24. It very common for women to have children in their late thirties so a couple more years isn’t going to make a difference. You sound really miserable.

You realise the majority of babies born to women aged 42 age still healthy?

I think she needs a hug

of course you’re not “too old”, but maybe consider the toll TTC takes when it takes a long time.
I am 33 and I’ve been TTCing baby 2 for over a year unsuccessfully, and it is incredible hard emotionally, not to say boring and soul sucking.
personally if I was 42 and already had two kids I wouldn’t put myself through what I’m putting myself through now. I would try and enjoy my life rather than peeing on sticks and crying bitterly every month.

Some real negative nellies on this thread! You sound like you have made your decision @Pjsandpringles best of luck. 42 isn't too old these days and you sound like you have a lot to offer another child.

I don't know. If a women conceives age 43 and her baby is born age 44 then she'd be 65 when her child turns 21. I do find that quite old actually.

@anotherscroller we aren't going to let it rule us. If it happens then great, if not then it's not meant to be

Go for it then! All the best

I’m 41 and pregnant with what will hopefully be my second. I’ve got APS and that carries a much higher risk of miscarriage than my age, and I had my 4th miscarriage in August. This one is so far so good at almost 13 weeks.

Lots of negativity about the risks being much higher for people our age, 1 in 25 babies are now born to mums over 40. We are all aware of the risks, but that’s all they are - risks, not guarantees of problems. I know people in their teens, 20s and 30s who have had children with DS or autism, and people that age who had the most horrific complications. Risks are there for everyone and we make our own choices about what risk level is acceptable to us.

Despite my clotting condition my last pregnancy at 38 was relatively uneventful and my recovery from a planned section was exemplary - I’ve no reason to expect otherwise this time. Also conceived first time in both pregnancies in my 40s. We’ve already decided it’s worth doing and I wouldn’t change it. Good luck OP xx

Exactly this! Good luck with your pregnancy, hope all goes well

Op, it sounds like your mind is made up and you're not really keen to hear negative arguments. Good luck.

There's no need for people to be negative. Best to be positive

Best to be realistic without exaggerations either way.

Pjsandpringles · 08/01/2023 11:44

Why would it make you uneasy? How would you put it? Giving someone the opportunity to be a parent is a gift. Not in a here's a box of chocolates, thanks for looking after my cat kind of gift but an opportunity to have something you have always wanted. Wouldn't you can that a gift?

Here @Pjsandpringles. You said it here.