Fertility first appoint - o.h not willing to ‘lie’

[Teenyween14]

Uk. Partner finally declared we should start trying for a baby. I’ve been trying to get him to commit for a year but he always said he wants a house first. House seems a far way off now due to economic climate. I am 39 years old in may. Partner turned 38 in may.

I’ve had some tests done and all looks ok but I have been refereed for fertility clinic as I told the dr we had been trying. ( this is a mild white lie to the dr as I know how long it can take to get help)

However - We have not used protection for two years - he has been holding back he’s not been ejecting inside me. He has had no tests at all yet.

He said he wants to try naturally, and will not lie to the clinic and say that we’ve been trying - will this mean we will be discharged ? What happens at this first appointment? I’ve read that lots of couples over 35 seek tests even before trying. I don’t wanna blow my chances of getting help.

If he is not ejaculating inside you then he does not want to get you pregnant. What is he playing at?

They weren’t trying so they were using the withdrawal method as contraception. Can’t see what the issue is?

People are reiterating that OP's partner does not want to pregnant because OP tried to present it as though they had (sort of) been trying for two years already.

"However - We have not used protection for two years - he has been holding back he’s not been ejecting inside me. He has had no tests at all yet."

To be fair, there isn’t any indication that he doesn’t want kids. DH wanted kids a lot earlier than me and I always said “not now”, and then we started trying when I was ready. Men can also have the same approach.

He’s the one practising natural contraception. He’s made this supposed declaration about wanting kids but OP didn’t say he had stopped doing this even now, so she’s made an appointment at the clinic and is trying to get him to go along with her saying they’ve been trying. They haven’t and are still not.

So I think its reasonable to think he doesn’t want kids. Now? With OP? ever? Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️, we’re just going round in circles now so unless OP comes back I’m done with this.