TTC after miscarriage thread 13 💕🌈✨💛

[FfayeN]

Ready for when we tip over the last one. Lucky 13 🍀

@MrsC2018 so sorry to hear about your losses 💕 welcome to the thread though, everyone here is so lovely. I started temping recently, took me a while to get used to it and for the first week I didn’t sleep well and kept waking as I was thinking about the thermometer 😆 but it’s definitely got easier now I have been doing it a few weeks and is nice to see the temps confirm ovulation.

So I did a FRER yesterday evening….was a BFN, was annoyed and upset and so put in bin. Had a big old cry and then a few hours later before bed I got it out of the bin and there was a faint line (I am sure it looks pink and even OH could see it without squinting)
I have heard about evap lines and indents etc and I know you are absolutely not meant to look at it after the time but is there any chance it could be something?
I have never ever had this before, my BFN’s have always stayed stark white even the day after… couldn’t bring myself to retest this morning, guess I prefer to cling on to a little hope!

@emhope aren’t frers usually bad for indents rather than evaps?? I guess idents wouldn’t have any colour at all. I have found my positive frers seem to stay really dark and maybe even look darker a few hours later when I obsessively recheck them🤦🏻‍♀️

@emhope I've heard about frer indents from these boards but never had one - my tests have either been positive or negative so no experience myself but I don't understand how a line can be there if the hormone isn't. The other advantage to leaving until tomorrow to test is that it would hopefully give another day for the hormone to build up and give a decent line.

Any recommendations on thermometers? Do you use FF to chart as well? Might try after I get my period next week, one more thing to think about in the run up to Christmas won't hurt!

@MrsC2018 welcome to the group lovely. I'm so sorry you e found yourself here and for what you've been through. I'm the same as @FfayeN my fertile period was much longer with more EWCM and more flashies.

@emhope what DPO are you now? FRERs can have indents, if it was stark white within 10mins it could have been that but equally, I've seen squinters that looked like indents that progressed nicely. Would you like to send us your test and we can be your line eyes?

This is the test…there was def nothing there in the first 10 mins or so 🤔

@bunnykins123 oh and I’m 10dpo today so was 9dpo when did the test

@emhope I'd call that a positive :O It seems far too obvious to be an indent.

@emhope me too surely that can’t be an ident or evap looks too much like a proper like! How long did you wait before you binned it?? It could of taken a bit longer to show given it’s only 9dpo!

@emhope that absolutely looks positive to me! Congratulations 💕💕

@ChloeN i think I probably looked at it on and off for 10-15 mins and then binned it as was just completely white. Then looked at it again about 4 hours later and saw this line. So confused, obviously want more than anything for it to be positive but most things online are saying you can’t take it as a positive if it’s after the 10mins 😔

@emhope Do another! :D

@emhope id class that as a positive. Do another if you have one ☝️

So…

this is cycle 4 since MMC. I’m CD5. Dh drops it into conversation that he’s wanting to prevent pregnancy now rather than ttc. So this year we have gone from Dh encouraging a bfp, to me being reluctant but the one time I was happy to try, we got a bfp. To use losing the baby. To now dh saying we are complete and he wants to move on from ttc.
Im 44. I’m still regular. I still ovulate but obviously in a much higher bracket for miscarriage. I’ve had 6 in the last 12 years.
Im not happy 😢 I went through 3 months of pregnancy and a miscarriage for nothing.

@MrsC2018 @ChloeN tbf it doesn't feel like ages but when I think back to when we found out I'm like oh bloody hell 🤦🏼‍♀️ the sac was empty so I had to keep going back for scans to check for no progress so the hospital finally confirmed on 27th sept. I decided to wait 1 week later I had a bleed for a week and a half but I was sure I hadn't passed anything rang the hospital I had a week of blood tests then they couldn't fit me in for a scan for another 10 days which confirmed was still there a few days later I had the surgery. All those waiting a week or so for scans and blood tests just really add up 🙈

@MrsC2018 I find temping really easy but I do do it when not TTC too. When I first started I would say it took me a good month to not keep panicking about waking up and taking it at first I kept waking a couple of times a night but once I got into the routine of it I slept fine. I use the app femometer and one of their Bluetooth thermometers but I know lots of people here recommend fertility friend. I like femometer but it is a paid app and now it has all my data I can't be bothered to move to FF which I believe is free

@emhope that def looks like there's colour to it to be an indent. I read a really interesting article about indents. The doctor said that a coloured line will show up only if there is hcg present so if there is a small small small amount it could take a long time for it to process on the test and what we think of as indents are not indents but positives. If those lines that we think are indents turn out to be nothing and AF comes it's that the pregnancy failed sort of like a chemical but for not as long. I hope that makes sense I wish I had bookmarked it now. Also an evening wee for 9dpo might just be too diluted 🤔 I think it looks positive

@emhope sorry was meant to be the word evaps not indents tired brain this morning to my message below🤦🏼‍♀️

@emhope I read the same article as @mummatara - any line that has colour indicates the hormone is present basically.

@Everythingzrosie that's gutting if you now want to try again, has he said why and whether there's any wriggle room to discuss it at least?

@mummatara thanks, will have a good look later and see if I can cope with the commitment. I have a tendency to get a little obsessive about things so I'm usually careful to not test before my period is late and try and not know exactly how many dpo I am. However, I'm 39 next year and these miscarriages are messing up my cycle so it might just be more helpful to know what's going on. In my usual style I've gone off at the deep end and am looking at £250 bracelets and things rather than a £5 thermometer 🙈 why am I like this!

@MrsC2018 don't worry I think we are all the same in the obsessive dept it was actually a bit of a relief to not POAS this morning. Despite saying to myself I wouldn't test all the time to check for a negative I did 🤦🏼‍♀️ I looked at those bracelets a little while ago but I've decided against spending the money just before Christmas I might early next year if I'm not pregnant as I use it even when not TTC so it wouldn't be a complete waste of money but like you say the cheap thermometer does the same job 😂

@Everythingzrosie im so sorry lovely it must be so hard to be up and down with it all. Does he say why he's changed his mind?

Dh says we have enough children and that they are all growing up and we should move on from babies 🙁 yet he was very happy when I got pregnant and was so excited. I was the one who was upset at the beginning. I was scared. Now I’m gutted. Maybe I need to talk with him more to find out why.

@MrsC2018 Ovusense are £119 in the black Friday sale, that's with a years subscription 😘 xx

Thanks for the replies everyone. I can’t bring myself to test again just yet but may do it later tonight….this is cycle number 8 after the MMC and this is the only time I’ve ever had a hint of a line (even if it was after the time limit) What a rollercoaster of a week, been emotional enough with it being the due date week and now this ‘is it/isn’t it’ line!

@mummatara I was considering the ovusense with 40% off...but it's soo close to Christmas

I've spent soo much money already on Christmas

@emhope that defo looks positive 😇

@MrsCristianoX I know as soon as @FfayeN posted that I went to look and hovered over the buy button but then was like there's still 2 days to go have a think if you really need it that being said my femometer subscription is about to run out which is £25 so it's almost like it will cost £94 and I won't ever lose my femometer data 🤔 one thing I did wonder about the ovusense what happens when you DTD just before bed which is mainly the case with us will it kill off a few spermies or am I totally overthinking it 😂

@mummatara excellent point my god I'd be going to bed with a fertility and ovusense crammed in there😂

@mummatara oh my, that does seem reasonable 😱 I wasn't even thinking about temping this morning and now I'm looking at a £120 tampon - I'm so suggestible! What do you use it for when not TTC? Think those only work for 12 months so no real longevity. However it's £10 a month and the OPKs I buy are £30 for 2 months so actually not entirely unreasonable. It's a lot to spend though, just before Christmas. Hmmm decisions, decisions. Perhaps it can be my Christmas present from my husband 🙈

@Everythingzrosie I would say you need to at least understand why he's changed his mind to either discuss further with him or make your peace with it?