TTC after miscarriage thread 13 💕🌈✨💛

[FfayeN]

Ready for when we tip over the last one. Lucky 13 🍀

@mummatara I’ve got the normal CB digi which are 25 (I was desperately reading the instructions to check) it’s the early ones that are sensitive to 10.
I’ve used IC and frer, even the IC are obviously positive and I find them difficult to read. Never have I ever wanted a negative test more

@mummatara how awful having to go through mc twice, once is bad enough, it’s going to be so hard not to be anxious on the next bfp.
I haven’t been back for more bloods, I was discharged after confirming no RPOC and just told my hcg will go back to pre pregnancy levels, just slowly

@Mannymoomin I just looked it says 10 on the cb website for the weeks indicator 😳 maybe they've changed them 🤷🏼‍♀️ I did take a screenshot but apparently it doesn't want to come up on my pictures 🙄 I think if the ic are still obviously positive I would be ringing the EPU how long since you've been in touch with them? As for this cycle I think you've just got to dtd every 2/3 days and hope for the best do you temp at all?

no temping as I’m a terrible sleeper so I find it unreliable.
almost 2 weeks since epu. We’ve only dtd once as I thought it’s probably better to wait for af otherwise I won’t know when I can test from, and it’s pointless trying if I’m still positive, I don’t think I’ve ever been more desperate for af to come

Well AF was due Weds, my cycles are usually 28 days, but this was first period since MC, all I'm getting are BFN's 😪

@emhope I'm so sorry it was a bfn. I have had cracking bfps after a few hours of leaving the tests. It totally sucks and adds to the anxiety when you get a questionable test. Big hugs from me 💕

@bunnykins123 thanks 💕 I can’t believe the tests can do that, I have always been lucky in a way I guess as never had that before. It’s heartbreaking to think you have finally got that BFP and then it’s not…

How does everyone else find this TTC journey and pregnancy loss impacts your relationship? Although my partner isn’t the best with emotions I thought we had a pretty strong relationship but I think it’s all really starting to take it’s toll 😔 After the potential positive and then negative yesterday I wasn’t in a good way, had a big cry when OH got back from work and cried again before I went to bed…and his response was ‘why are you crying?’ And then he started saying he can’t do this anymore with my behaviours being up and down each month! And that it’s all too much and feels like I will only be happy when I replace the baby (didn’t say he wanted to stop trying but it very much felt that way)
I don’t really know what to do… I can’t help the disappointment and upset each month it doesn’t happen… I am hoping he just had a bit of an outburst but I am starting to feel very alone in all this 😢 does anyone get the same? I do feel like the TTC has taking over my life but I can’t switch off my overwhelming desire to be pregnant again

@emhope a few of us on here have had the same, it's heartbreaking when you realise it's just a dodgy test opposed to a early pregnancy. I don't test early for this reason now as I always get indents. Oh totally. I feel very alone on this journey, DH is the 'sperm donor' and is no way as invested in this journey as me. Does he want another child? Yes but he isn't consumed by it. I often feel quite alone in this process and suspect many other women on this forum feel the same.

@emhope I echo what @bunnykins123 it can be a very lonely place, one where you actually want to discuss it with those around you but they just don't get it. Anytime
I've tried I get the 'it's just obviously not the right time, just relax and it will happen, something wasn't right with the baby' and that includes sometimes from DH. That's why these forums are so good because we just get it. It is hard not to get consumed by it, it's important to do other things but I find being so in control of it it helps with the anxiety, with that comes with all the woes of timing DTD which absolutely adds strain. I totally go off sex between those times, it's all so so tricky xx

@emhope I'm exactly the same so now I've started to internalise my feelings. DH hates me being sad every month and I think would stop if he saw how upset I get. It's so hard. This thread does help

@emhope he absolutely hates me testing early for that reason but the pull of the tests is too strong. Will try and not early test this month. Let's see how that works out 🙄

@MrsCristianoX @emhope I test about 10dpo, but I ever tell DH until after the date my period is due, that way he has a date to aim for roughly and it seems to help keeping it to myself for those couple of days. I can get my head together that way and to be honest he gets on my nerves those first few days 🤣 xx

Afternoon all! Just wondering how you ladies knew you were ready to try again? I'm really struggling to know what to do...

Thanks for replies @FfayeN @bunnykins123 @MrsCristianoX that has made me feel a little better. I think maybe I will try and keep more of my feelings to myself but maybe this month just hit me a lot harder. Now just want AF to turn up so I can move on!

@emhope @FfayeN @bunnykins123 @MrsCristianoX sorry im a bit late! Mad day, but completely agree with everything you’re saying. Other half says that he’s really sad when I bring it up and says that he really wants another one, but definitely hasn’t taken over his life the way it has mine!

have you found that it affects friendships too? I definitely have found the whole mc to have a much wider affect than I thought it might’ve at the start x

@Babydustmamma @emhope @MrsCristianoX @FfayeN same, he's sad and wants another but says it's more that he's sad for me when we've lost one. I think mine feels so helpless, and the actual miscarriage it's self cause of the blood and the pain is traumatic for us both. I absolutely hold in a lot of the sadness around TTC afterwards, maybe to protect him but probably also so he doesn't say we need to draw a line in the sand and stop. I would also say that we have a supportive and kind relationship but I still keep the true horror from him.

@TrulyMiss I've started to try again straight away after both of my miscarriages, I just want to be pregnant again so I wouldn't say I've really put any thought into it. I caught 3 months again after my first miscarriage and was very anxious and probably too soon, I went on to lose that one too. I'm now a month after that miscarriage and have started to try again. It's probably too soon, but I'm not sure I'll ever not be nervous when pregnant again. More time won't help that and I'm 38, time in general isnt on my side.

@TrulyMiss me too I tried again straight away, it was the only thing that got me through the loss tbh knowing I could try again and it’d hopefully happen soon

@MrsC2018 exactly. I do worry that if I let all my feelings out then he will say let's call it a day as then he will know truly how obsessed I am with it (I think deep down he knows but probably tries to ignore it!)

I've got carried away and opened myself back up to heartache 😢 took a pregnancy test this morning and it's faint positive on a frer. Miscarriage was 5 weeks ago tomorrow and I tested negative at the hospital 3 weeks ago tomorrow (but still decent positive on a frer). Loss was at 16 weeks so I will have lower levels and test negative sooner than most miscarriages but I never tested again on a frer until today. I know it's a waiting game to see if the line gets stronger but I could cry that I've done this to myself

@MrsC2018 it's the pull of the tests. It's a real thing. You have now entered the rabbit hole of tests 🙈 could it be a fresh pregnancy,? how are you feeling? 🤞

@MrsCristianoX I've never done this before, Ive literally never tested before my period is due.
My rational brain is saying it's left over hgc, im not even sure I ovulated, I just went from flashing smileys to low. But I guess I'll know in a couple of days if the line gets darker or stays light. I really hope it is a fresh pregnancy though, it's hard to feel lucky when you've had miscarriages but this would be the third pregnancy in 12 months, and I've been pregnant for 8 of those months really hoping I get a baby out of all this 😢

Thanks @MrsC2018 @ChloeN. I have to go back in fertility drugs which are tough going so am finding the whole prospect daunting. I also have a 2 year old so I definitely feel differently than then I was trying for him. It's all a bit of a head melt!!

@TrulyMiss it's tough, especially if it's not straightforward getting pregnant. How does your partner feel?

@MrsC2018 oh that’s so difficult😔😔 when are you planning to test agains? Xxx

@TrulyMiss yes that’s really hard!! I suppose it’s got to be a bit more planned than just trying normally! Does it all just feel a bit much now? X

@MrsC2018 so so tough ♥️ Keeping everything crossed for you x