One year+ TTC part 3

[BritInNZ]

Hey ladies - new thread here we come! Changed it from 9 months+ seeing as we're pretty much all over a year of TTC now (boo!)

Feel free to add anyone else I may have forgotten 😊

@Carla2601
@lemons44
@LucyAnne34
@NatW2021
@Indianna2006
@KatieLooLa
@Hoping43
@Flyonthewall89

Newbies welcome too! Just a bunch of lovely ladies going through a tough time TTC and having a good old time venting and supporting one another 😊

@Indianna2006 - those words are so lovely and made me cry, so true! Big hugs to you xx

I am off to bed for an early night. Thank you ladies for your support. It really means a lot to me 💗 xx

@NatW2021 😘💪🏻 We got this! Xx

@Indianna2006 sorry to hear you’re finding it so hard, completely understandable and I hope it gets easier for you too because it sounds so so so tough

@Indianna2006 I'm really sorry you're going through this. We will all get there in the end, I'm sure of it. We are a nice bunch of ladies who all deserve this. Let's stay strong together X

@NatW2021 I'm sorry you've had that announcement. I know how you feel. It's really hard to be genuinely happy and there's nothing wrong with that. It always feels that it should be your turn now. We will get there X

@Tinkerbell098 - its just such a horrible feeling i haven't stopped crying, i know its just sounds so selfish and awful and i cant even bring myself to speak to my family at the moment because im terrified ill break down and look like an awful person. Just giving myself time to cry it out and hopefully the happy feelings will come xxx

@NatW2021 BIIIG hug to you XX I was the same when my best friend announced that she was expecting a few weeks ago "without even trying". I couldn't speak to her properly for a couple of weeks after that and probably sounded like a real b. I then had to bring myself to go shopping for little baby stuff to get for her the next time I saw her, which was torture! It's nothing personal, we need to let ourselves feel what we want to feel sometimes. Cry it out, process it however way you feel is right. I think I will scream if anyone close to me makes anymore announcements, which I know is coming, so bracing myself for it. The important thing is, don't feel guilty for feeling this way, it's completely normal and we've all been there X

@Tinkerbell098 - Thank you for sharing, it just crazy that its just not spoken about in the real world and infertility is such a taboo subject. My DH was saying we should tell my dad and family what we are going through to avoid the rubbing it in (unintentionally of course) but i dunno. My mum knows and she hasnt txt me or anything just feels kind of awkward, i am seeing her tomorrow for afternoon tea,

On a positive note another 2lbs lost so 9lbs in two weeks - aiming for 1stone 3lb in next 6 weeks so i can try letrozole. I am looking forward to feeling confident and wearing clothes i would normally avoid, every cloud! X

@NatW2021 yes I hate that it's such a taboo subject. Hope it will change soon as more and more people are open about it. It's probably not a bad idea to tell your family, but only if you think you'll get more support from them. I have told my mum, but not in-laws as they would constantly question us on next steps, etc, so better left unsaid. Massive well done for losing 9lbs in two weeks! Yey! That is amazing! Keep it up X

@NatW2021 none of this is fair it’s awful. I was leading on a really big event when my bro called me (and he knew our situation so actually no idea why he called me on a work weekend now I look back), I had a new and junior team and we were having some crowd challenges and despite that I sat in a toilet and sobbed so it’s not you at all and don’t feel bad for reacting that way.

The one thing I would say is how quickly it can all turn around. I didn’t know it for a while but technically two weeks after that I was ‘pregnant’. I wasn’t of course it was the first day of my IVF but that’s the date they count from. As @Tinkerbell098 says it won’t feel like this forever but I know that doesn’t really help right now. Def cry it out.

You’re doing SO well, 9lbs is loads!!!! Have you started to see a difference? You’re going to need a new wardrobe at this rate!!

Perhaps your mum might ask you over afternoon tea - it’s hard because I think people don’t want to assume your feelings so they shy away from it, I’m sure she’s been thinking about you

@

@Carla2601 - its hard to understand peoples thoughts/actions - my brother knows we are TTC and he said he wanted to let us know before telling my dad so we didnt hear it second hand as my dad is known for blabbing haha! I think he was coming from a good place but obviously as you know it doesn't matter how/when/where your told it still hurts regardless as its not you and a reminder of the hurt and difficulties you go through each month etc.

I totally agree and i do try to see the wood through the trees and think anything can happen. Im 1dpo so back in the dreaded TWW.

I am really pleased with my weight loss so far just hope it continues as i do struggle, feel less bloated and getting used to eating less. X

Hi girls,

@Tinkerbell098 keeping everything crossed that they have availability when u ring on day 1. That quote on whether you're more likely to have a boy/girl with IVF is really interesting!

Thanks for the podcast recommendation @FlyOnTheWall89 I will give that a go! I'm partial to a podcast when I clean my house!

@Koalie my DH is on proxeed too so that if they do find sperm during the surgical retrieval, I'm hoping it will be good sperm. If DH forgets a sachet I tell him off!

@NatW2021 first just want to say a massive well done on your weight loss so far! I really hope you are feeling proud of yourself as that is a massive achievement.

Second, your feelings are totally valid. This journey is SO hard. My friend's baby is a few months old now and I still haven't meet them. My friend knows our situation and is understanding but I just cannot physically hold a newborn baby right now whilst not knowing if we will ever be able to have that. It's too painful.
You are honestly not alone and we are all here for you ❤️ keep talking to us.

Sending you a big hug @Indianna2006 ❤️

@lemons44 - Thank you 💗 totally get what you mean it just such a trigger isnt it? Thinking about how i am feeling and why i am feeling that way is exactly as you described. When you are feeling vulnerable and emotional you want to avoid those triggers and i think thats why ive been upset as i know all those triggers are going to presented alot to me and im worrying how ill deal/cope with all.

I know it just sounds weird but i am the oldest. My mum and dad have no grandchildren and i wanted us to have the special time/moment but i know it wont be the same if/when our time comes. Maybe im just deep ibti my emotions of thus crazy journey that makes you act irrational but thats how i am feeling right now x

@NatW2021 i felt this….my bro is younger too. Chatted to my mum (who still knows nothing about what we went through) and she’s so excited about me having a baby because I’m her daughter so don’t worry I’m sure your mum will be the same. Also you’ll obvs create an epic kid so everyone will love them ☺️!

Hi ladies

I ticked drink wine off my list last night so am feeling a little worse for wear today. I so needed the blow out though!

@NatW2021 I’m so sad reading your update - I’m sorry it’s bitter sweet news for you! I can totally relate, as our best friends said they would be trying for their second soon and every time she calls me I don’t answer because I’m so scared she’s going to tell me she’s pregnant! I feel like such a bad friend. They know our situation and would absolutely be respectful in the way that they tell us but i don’t think anything can make it any less painful. My advice would be to just let yourself be sad and know that it’s OK. You’re not alone. ♥️

@Indianna2006 I’m so sorry you’re struggling too. I know exactly how you feel re the periods being a trigger … you’re not alone here either. This is for sure the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through but we will have our 🌈s, I just know it. X

@lemons44 i have read such good things re the Proxeed! My hubby hasn’t missed one yet but he knows he’d be in trouble if he did 😆 did you know they’ve just brought out a new and improved forumula which is Proxeed men rather than plus? 🙂 x

Hi hope it's okay for me to post here, first time poster. Just feel like I need somewhere to vent as I'm not very good at actual RL talking.

DH started ttc in Jan 21, I actually fell pregnant pretty quickly in the April but had an early MC - typically just after I'd got a + test.

Since then nothing, I've had a few months when I've been late but had negative tests.

After the MC I was referred to gynae for another issue and when it was brought up, they kinda just said "well at least you know you can get pregnant"

Just going to read the other posts now x

@FTHC welcome to the thread and sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time. We’re a totally mixed bag over here so there’s almost always someone who’s been through similar to you and everyone is great so you’ve found a good spot

@Carla2601 @Koalie - thank you all for sharing, it sounds like we all have experienced similar situations and its been reassuring to know its normal and i am not a horrible person for feeling this way.

On another note in 2dpo and just had tons of EWCM this has happend before! I had a pos opk wesnesday then i temped yday/today just to confirm ovulation and my temp has gone up so i know ive ovulated. Why isnt it there when it needs to be??

@FTHC - Welcome. Sorry your are going through this too, its so hard! This a great forum to speak to people who understand and its been so good for me to have people to chat too. Xx

@Koalie p.s glad you had a blow out! Hope you are feeling better today xx

Hi @FTHC … you’re very welcome here :) as @Carla2601 said, there’s a huge range of different struggles in this group so almost always someone here who can relate to what you’re going through. Have you and your husband had any tests yet? X

Oh and @FlyOnTheWall89 I listened to that podcast yesterday (on the train home from London with a hangover so there were a few tears 🤦🏻‍♀️) thank you for the recommendation.. so many good points made! It’s tempting to send to my friends who know what we’re going through but haven’t been through it themselves.. I can’t decide whether that would be appropriate though 🤔 what do you think? X

@Koalie oh good, I'm glad you listened. I know, I cried too. It's so good and so important for people to hear. What I did, which may be a more indirect way of raising awareness, was share a snippet from the Instagram page on my insta story.... it's the kind of thing I might do anyway so I didn't feel too exposed but I wanted as many people as possible to hear and consider the terms used in the podcast x

@FlyOnTheWall89 … I would love to do this but I’ve been off instagram for over a year now (I go on every so often but never post!) so it would be really obvious that it’s personal to me and I don’t think my husband wants to be quite so open with the world ☹️ we have also been married for nearly 3 years now so we just know friends and family probably suspect that we’re trying (🙄) it’s such a tricky one … x